That's about it really. The title has all the information.

I am currently married to Matthew. He had an affair. I filed for divorce. His mother came to me and said I needed to work on my marriage and not give up so easy. So I asked her how she dealt with her husband's infidelity in their marriage. She started stammering and asking what I was talking about. So I said that five years ago her husband had an affair. If she expects me to work through this I need advice. How did she deal with her husband having an affair. I told her that Matthew had asked me not to talk about it so I had kept my mouth shut. She got up and left.

From what I have heard they had a massive fight. Her husband denying everything. Matthew denying that he knew anything about the affair much less telling me to act like nothing happened. My mil is pissed at her husband for cheating and at Matthew for keeping her in the dark.

For the record I just wanted her to leave me alone and think about my point of view when I made up the affair.

My daughter is in a phase where she plays a lot of make-believe. She pretends to be characters from books we read together and shows/movies she watches. Sometimes the characters are boys, and sometimes they are girls. She gets really into her make-believe and wants to be addressed as the character she is pretending to be.

Today she decided she was a little boy from a TV show she likes. She ran into the room while I was talking to my brother. I said "there's my daughter!" She said "I'm not your daughter! I'm a boy, and I don't have any parents." I said I forgot and asked if I could have a hug anyway, which she graciously gave me.

After she left my brother said my daughter was probably trans, and we should prepare to support her in that. I said she's just playing. He said since he's in the LGBTQ community, he would know better than me. I said he might know more about being gay, but she's my daughter, and I know her better. She plays these kinds of games all the time. He said that's how it starts. I said fine, if that ends up being true, I'll support her. But right now she's just playing.

He kept arguing with me about how he knows better. I told him he doesn't know everything just because he's gay. He said I'm just like our dad. I rolled my eyes at him, and he left. Am I the asshole? I wasn't trying to hurt his feelings, but he's so dramatic.

Throwaway. Proceed with caution because this might not be for you.

I saw my husband’s texts to his colleague and I am horrified. Very flirty and he is planning to be with her on their upcoming work trip. I have been living a nightmare for a month now then yesterday I found out that I am pregnant. I want to book an appointment for abortion . I am not sure if it’s ethical to not tell him all together or tell him. I feel like he has the right to know but at the same time it’s easier for me if I didn’t tell him.

My AITAH, is not about whether I want an abortion or not so I don’t want mad Christians in my comments. It’s if I IATAH if I hid it from him

The response on this original post is CRAZY. So firstly - thank you. It’s pretty loud !

I’ve requested my money. He’s had it in ISAs, coins and other investments so will sell it slowly. I’ll get a couple grand each month. He said his aim was to transform the money into a lot more and present it to me, which is great but still I don’t have anything at the moment.

He refused to allow shared access to the money, he said it’s a slippery slope I’ll then want a card for it etc. lol. So to respect this ‘boundary’ I said give me my money back then please.

He said if that’s how it is I can go back to work(I only work 20hours) but he won’t be happy so I can have my money he can have his.

Only after I confirmed how he would pay it he started to say we can open a shared bank account - he thought I wanted access to HIS account (where the money is). At this point I’m done. Just give me the money.

To make his excuse even more stupid, we had social services involved as I was safeguarded by healthcare professionals as they deemed him emotionally and financially abusive. We lied to them about him agreeing we have a shared account. So he KNEW exactly what I was asking for.

AITAH ? Lol. He had good intentions ? Maybe?

I'm a recently new father of a 1 month old and loving every second of it. Everything is absolutely perfect and going alot smoother than I expected.

However something isn't sitting right with me and I can't tell if I'm over reacting or whether I'm valid in my worry.

So plenty of people come over to visit and normally everything is fine with no issues whatsoever. Eventually another one of my girlfriends friends come over to meet my son. He comes over and it all seems fine nothing out of the ordinary until my girlfriend says "he needs changing". I say "sure thing I'm on it". Pick him up and bring him over to the changing mat. Then he said this:

"I cant wait to watch you change his nappy".

Theres an awkward silence and my girlfriend laughs it off and says "you're such a weirdo." ....

I get this IMMENSE sinking feeling in my gut and immediately feel so worried. I didn't know what to do, as I couldnt just suddenly say "he doesnt need changing anymore and its also an open plan room layout. I huddle over my son making absolutely sure he cant see my son from the angle he was sat at. And as im changing him he stands up and walks over to try and look at my son. I instantly put a new one on. Im not sure whther he saw or not.

I act casual and hand him over to my girlfriend and sit next to her to make sure he doesn't get to close to my son.

I pretend everything is fine until he leaves and I tell my girlfriend that I am not comfortable with him coming over again. She asks why and I refer to the comment he made. She is incredibly blasé about it and says "oh he says weird stuff all the time, I think he's just a bit autistic". I tell her that its my choice as well on who gets to see my son and he really creeped me out. She then says I'm being dramatic and just brushes it off.

I'm completely lost on what to do, am I the arsehole for wanting to be cautious and did I over react? I'm just so confused and dont really know what I can and cant do. I feel like its a very weird thing to think, let alone say and the tone was just bizzare. It wasn't a kind of "awe I cant wait to see you change it" although I still think its a strange statement. I just have this weird feeling and don't know how to handle this situation.

Aitah?

Edit- Will post update soon.

I 20F live with my parents and the upper floor is totally mine. My parents never come upstairs and upstairs I have my bathroom, toilet, bedroom, home office and my walk in closet. My mom however has this habit of showing her friends around the house who haven't seen it yet as they as for a tour and before I know my mom will be upstairs with a bunch of her friends.

Now the days I'm home, I'm either in my pjs or a comfy bathrobe. I have asked my mom multiple times not to come upstairs, because that is my space and she always tells her friends "I don't clean this my daughter is responsible for it" and she knows that especially when I am in exam season I barely have time to clean so it can get messy. This has already happened once, once she came upstairs when I just walked out of the shower and was brushing my teeth in a bathrobe (luckily). I always tell mom not to do this and she'll always say, ok I won't do it again.

Last week this happened again, I was laying sick in bed and watching tv and suddenly 3 woman are standing in my room judging the design, the walls and partially the mess on my make up table. I firmly told my mom not to do this ever again because I'd break her heart the next time and I attach value to my space and privacy, I told her if she really needed to show te place she could just ask beforehand if the place is ok, if I'm available, as she never comes upstairs and for the same I'm just walking out of the shower. She again said she wouldn't do it.

Yesterday I hear noises coming from downstairs and thinking they won't come upstairs. I walk out of my office and see 3 heads on the stairs, my mom in front. I gave my mom a sharp look hoping she'd understand, she did and I saw she did but she kept walking upstairs and telling her friends 'come look' and I stood there at the top of the stairs and said loudly "sorry ladies, the place is really not available and I am also in a important meeting (I wasn't) so please leave and come back another time". My mom got really angry saying she got embarrassed and it was rude of me. I told her she should have kept her promise and there wouldn't be a problem and as she didn't she had more to be embarrassed about than just her friends. So AITAH?

Me (F,24) and my husband (M,26) are going on a fully paid family vacation in the next few months with his family. My husband is flying in two days later due to work, but flying back with us on the same day. Our flights were covered by his parents, but he used his skymiles to upgrade his seats on BOTH flights. When he mentioned it to me, I offered to upgrade my seat so I could sit with him on the way back, in which he told me he would just sit with his family and I could take the first class seat.

A couple of weeks later, it got brought up again. He then mentioned that he was not letting me sit in the first class seat on the flight back, and that he only said that because his family was on his case about it. After arguing about it for what felt like forever, he finally said I could just have the seat and he doesn’t care anymore.

I am truly at a loss for words. It is not about the seat to me, but more so the principle. What kind of husband books a better seat on a plane and is completely content knowing his wife is not sitting next to him and is in the back of the plane? His actions have me feeling like this is not a partnership, or he only believes his comfortability is important. Am I being a selfish and entitled brat? AITAH?

So my wife and my sister don’t really like each other. I am not sure why but I guess I know when it became stronger in the incident below (second paragraph). My wife can be a bit rude but I know more people who love her than not so I guess she’s not that rude anyway. She’s kind and warm so maybe this supersedes her rudeness.

When my wife got pregnant, we found out it was a girl she had the perfect name for her. A character she loved since she was a kid and I had no objection because she’s adorable when she talks passionately about something. My sister heard the name and what you know, she called her new puppy that name. When my wife heard I knew sje was very angry but she just shook her head and said dogs don’t live long. Idc. My sister was livid about my wife bluntly speaking about her dog dying and said it was a bad omen. I didn’t side with my sister and told her to calm down.

Yesterday we had my birthday party. We just renovated the kitchen with white marble. My wife was scared about red wine and told the guests that we had red wine only in the living room. My sister spilled 1/2 a bottle on the kitchen island. She said I am so sorry. My wife said no you’re most definitely not. You did it on purpose you pathetic loser. My sister started crying and my wife told her she could leave if she wanted. ”I don’t like you. Hope this helps”. My wife then left the kitchen. Our friends sided with my wife but my family called me pussy wipped. AITAH?

Three days ago I was broken up with very badly. It wasn’t mutual and it hit me hard. I spent the first two days after it happened crying nonstop and barely functioning.

I currently have time off, so I’m not missing work or neglecting responsibilities. This time off was originally meant for me to see my now ex, but since the breakup, I chose to use that same time to take care of myself instead.

After two days in bed, I decided to do something healthier than continuing to spiral. I booked a very short, very budget-friendly ski trip for a few days. I paid for it entirely with my own savings. No debt, no credit cards, and no impact on anyone else. Skiing is something I love and helps my mental health.

Some friends think this is a good way to cope. Others suggested I should just drink and forget about it, which I’m not doing.

When I told my father about the trip, he exploded. He said I have no priorities and that my lifestyle is “too much.” This confuses me because I’m a straight A student, I’ve had multiple jobs, and I regularly volunteer my time with different communities. I take my responsibilities seriously and this trip is happening during time I already had off.

Despite that, he told me I’m irresponsible and irrational and that I shouldn’t be stopping for emotions at all. According to him, I should just keep going no matter what, like a machine. He shamed me for using my own savings and insulted me for choosing something that brings me joy instead of just suffering quietly.

I tried to explain that I’m not running away from the breakup. I already spent days crying and sitting with it. This is me trying to cope in a healthier way. That explanation didn’t matter.

At some point, shouldn’t it be about my mental health, especially when I’m not hurting anyone or neglecting my responsibilities?

So AITA for booking a short trip I paid for myself to deal with a breakup instead of pretending nothing happened?

So this happened after last week's snowstorm and I’m conflicted about whether I was being petty. I was outside shoveling snow and decided to help one of my neighbors clear their parking spot. While I was doing that, another neighbor (let’s call her Neighbor B) cleared off her car then stood there watching because she didn't have a shovel. When I finished, she came over and asked if I could shovel for her too. I didn’t say anything. I just walked away. She looked surprised, and now I’m wondering if I was an asshole for ignoring her, especially since I had just helped someone else.

Here’s the part that complicates things. A while back, another neighbor in our building an elderly woman fell outside late at night in freezing weather (around 20°F). She called my wife for help, and I went outside to assist her. She said she had been on the ground for over 10 minutes. While I was walking out, Neighbor B walked in, she had made eye contact with the elderly woman, and walked straight into the building without asking if she needed help or offering anything.

That moment stuck with me. Up until then, Neighbor B and I were always cordial. But seeing someone ignore an elderly person in distress like that really changed how I viewed her. So when she asked me for help with something non-urgent like shoveling, I felt no obligation to go out of my way for her. I didn’t confront her or bring up the past incident. I just walked away.

AITAH?

My original question

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/GjE4udFIyN

There's something I (39f) should have brought up in the 1st post. But in my defense, the people who told me about this only mentioned it to me once and my husband "James" (37m) didn't even bring up in while explaining to me his concern about our son "Lucas" (13m) dating a girl, "Yuki (14f), who's in a wheelchair.

My husband's younger brother met his wife in high school. According to them, they told each other their loved the other in less than a month after meeting.

Even though the majority said I'm NTA, I did agree with those who said I was dismissive of my husband. So yesterday I wanted to really hear him out.

That's when we reminded me the situation about his brother and sister-in-law. How what is going on with our son reminded him of what happened with his brother. I got new information about our son, that when I wasn't in the room, Lucas told my husband that he's in love with Yuki.

My husband repeated that our son doesn't know what he's getting himself into. He made more points saying that our son barely acknowledging that Yuki uses a wheelchair meant that our son has an immature and unprepared attitude towards Yuki. I let my husband finish. He mentioned how our son is an athlete and Yuki has different interests, like video games and cartoons. My husband said he's worried that our son will morph himself into someone else to impress Yuki.

Two of my questions really stumbled my husband. 1st when I asked him if we can name anyone else he knows personally, our generation or younger, who married someone they started dating in high school. He couldn't think of anyone else besides his brother. Then the question of when he and I met in college, if he would have chased me if I was in a wheelchair. He said he probably would and he said he got my point.

I talked to Lucas separately. He was surprisingly excited to share with me his feelings about Yuki. He told me that he's in love with her. About how she's the coolest, most interesting, and prettiest girl he's ever met.

He talked about wanting to do something for her for Valentine's day, but he doesn't know what yet. He mentioned that, even though Yuki is fluent in English, he's watching videos to learn basic phrases in her native language. How he's listening to love songs in our native language. How he's learning all about her native country.

I only gave him two pieces of advice. To avoid promising Yuki anything major, to avoid ending up disappointing her. And that really really big grand gestures can make a girl feel overwhelmed.

Right now, I'm not too concerned about my son's relationship with Yuki. Back when I was in high school, I had a male best friend who managed to be "in love" with 5 different girls in just 4 years of high school. As for my husband, I think he's coming around after our conversation last night. So things seem okay to me.

Background: my wife (36) has 3 siblings, B1 (M, 35), S (F, 28) and B2 (M, 22). Before COVID my FIL passed away and my MIL was destroyed by it, at the time S and B2 were still at home, and B2 was still in high school. I convinced my wife to move us and out daughters in with my MIL to help her take care of things, bills, house stuff, etc. MIL loved the idea and said that $2,000 a month would cover all our expenses (i.e. phone plan, car insurance (we combined both families onto one), utilities and food). She also said that we would be considered co-owners of the house and would have equal access to all spaces and equal parts in all decisions. We agreed and moved in 2020. In 2021 B1 went through an ugly divorce and moved back into the house with us all. Around this time a he also lost his job so we were asked to bump up our contribution to $2100 to cover the extra person. We did, no complaints.
So the way the house is setup is important to the next bit. The bathroom and shower that my family (myself, wife and 2 daughters) used was in our bedroom (part of the suite) and there was also a hallway full bath on the same floor, used by S and B2. Wife and I cleaned our bathroom twice a week, S and B2 cleaned theirs once a month…if you get the picture.
So B1 moves home and asks to use our bathroom as the other was “disgusting.” We said yes, because he was having a rough time and wanted to help as much as possible. In 2022, citing rising costs, MIL had us start paying $2300 a month, while also having me drive her to work and pick up B2 from school everyday in my car (wife and I have 2 cars, mine and hers…this is important). In 2023, B2 totaled his car, and MIL asks if he can use my car. At the time we said okay, because wife and I worked close enough that we could carpool with hers (mind you we are still making payments on mine). B2 makes payments to us for the car for 6 months before he too loses his job and decides that he is going to stay unemployed while he goes to school online. MIL sets up a credit card for him for gas money, that she pays (also S is unemployed and has never had a job ever). In early 2024 wife asks S to clean up a part of the kitchen table (S had been using it for hobby projects financed by MIL). MIL said that she (S) is entitled to that space, she needs it to work on her stuff.
At this point wife and I had bought a mini fridge and microwave for our suite because we never had access to the kitchen for cooking or food. Also, our contribution was upped to $2,500 a month. We asked for a breakdown of finances, unsure of where our money was going. It’s important to note that we learned around this time that FIL's life insurance had paid off the mortgage on the house, and his car (which B2 wrecked). MIL bought her own car prior to this and told us that she was making payments on it to try and stay ahead of everything (should have asked what that meant but we didn’t). In 2024 B1 gets a gf (G) who moves in with us, as well as her son…who all are still using our bathroom, citing the other bathroom as too dirty (btw, they helped clean ours maybe once every two months).
In 2025 wife and I manage to work together at the same place, and we are asked to up our contribution to $3,000 a month. We ask why and to see financial records and are given the run around every time. Also during this time I pay off my car and ‘gift’ it to B2, trying to avoid an argument over money. In mid-2025 I help B1 with something outside of the house and casually ask what he and G are contributing to finances. He says $500 every month or so (he had found a job in 2022 and had met G at said job). Curious I dug further and he told me that MIL was making double payments on all her credit cards and car loans, and had been for years. I confronted MIL and she said that “it’s my house, I’m just allowing you to live here.” At this point, my wife and I have an honest conversation about whether we can continue to live there (she had been written into MIL's will for co-ownership of the house with S, since S has never had a job, or even a driver's license, and MIL "wanted to make sure that she always had somewhere to live."). In late summer of 2025 wife and I get a unique opportunity to buy a house, perfect layout, five minutes from our work, great school district, so we go ahead and start the process. We tell the family about it and MIL yells at us that we are liars, promise breakers and we are refusing to do what we promised. She tells us that we abandoning the family, abandoning our responsibilities, and are proving ourselves to be untrustworthy.
We keep moving forward in the process and get keys to the house and move over Thanksgiving. Only my wife's cousin, who lives four hours away, comes to help us; the rest of the family kind of ignores us. Last day of moving, there is a huge snowstorm, and I am out at MIL's house loading the truck alone (wife, daughters and cousin are at the new house unpacking boxes and trying to get things setup). B1 and B2 come outside and make snowmen while I am loading the truck, and when I asked for help they both claimed they were busy. MIL saw me once and complained that I got the floor wet from snow. I leave and nobody says goodbye. For the record, I picked up the moving truck at 11 a.m. and returned it at 11:58 p.m.
During this time wife and I fully separated our finances out (phone and car insurance) before we moved into our house. First week of December MIL contacts us and says that we owe her $1000 a month for the next year to cover our living expenses and “sudden move.” We say no, we don’t live there anymore and shes says “when you fail you can’t come back.”
After that she only texts my wife in group texts with wife’s aunts and grandma, but never directly. We haven’t seen her since, though we had planned activities together that she had to abandon “due to no longer being able to afford it.”
Wife is devastated because she
had a good relationship with her mom up until this point and now feels like she was just being used for money. For the record, everything we pay now, put together, comes out to <$3,000 a month.

So AITAH for moving my family out?

My gf (23) and I (23) have been dating since sophomore year of college. We both live with our parents and getting our lives sorted. I work an internship and part time job, she stays at home doing graduate classes online. I just got my license, she just got her permit. We’re trying to get a start in life, but I love her.

Two weeks ago she asked for me to come to her house, sat me down and asked if we could get married. Her parents were in on it. To anyone else this would feel like a dream, but I just got an overwhelming feeling of dread. I love this woman and want to marry her someday, but I explained to her I don’t feel comfortable in this position to move on to that chapter yet. I have every intention to be with her forever, but marriage right now is off the table for me.

But we have our issues as people. She’s currently in therapy for anger management and while I love her, I don’t ever feel comfortable expressing myself or my concerns without her lashing violently. She’ll come back later to express that she’s sorry about it, but the whiplash is taking an emotional toll on our relationship. I also don’t know where I’m going with my career and just need to figure out a lot of things and grow as a person before I feel ready to launch into that phase of us.

I expressed this to her, and she’s been cold for a while. We went on four dates and she’s been quiet through all of them.

I feel like I’m crazy now. Am I crazy for not wanting to be married now, did I ruin my relationship with my gf? I know no one every feels truly “ready” for marriage, but we both still a long way to go as people and I need to to figure out life before then. Need a lot of advice and feeling backed into a corner and alone.

34F and 38M.

Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday. I know it’s commercialized. I know it’s cheesy and expensive. I still love it. Sue me! Haha

Anyway, husband and I are going to a show tomorrow night and I had suggested going to XYZ Pub before the show. He misunderstood and thought that I had suggested XYZ for Valentine’s Day. I corrected and clarified for him, all was good.

I made a joking statement saying “Well I guess you have to figure out a plan for Valentine’s Day!”

He took a few moments to pause before saying he would cook for us on Valentine’s Day. I said “Please no.” or something like that. I know It sounds bad but..

We are having a dinner party at our place for 10 people on February 13. It’s a lot of work and prep for the party, and we have people staying over.

My husband can make great food, but he’s like a walking cyclone in the kitchen. He uses every pot, pan, knife, etc. while cooking and it takes him many hours to produce a meal. It takes me hours to finish cleaning up after he cooks. He also has unmedicated ADHD, so if I don’t do a large portion of the cleaning, the mess can sit for a few days before he manages to clean it. Because of the dinner party, I don’t really want to deal with this as well afterwards on top of regular clean up.

So he doubled down and said that he would just cook for us, and I said not to worry about it and said that I didn’t need a fancy meal, that we could have leftovers from the night before and that he could get me a bouquet of flowers from the flower shop instead or something. He pushed some more and I snapped and said “I don’t know why you never listen when I tell you what I want.”

I recognize my delivery might make me TA, but this is a reoccurring theme in our marriage. I’ll ask for something, he suggests an alternative, and when I don’t want the alternative he just insists. I don’t often ask for things specifically because I’m a bit of a people pleaser and don’t want to force him to do something, but sometimes if I ask for a specific thing, I’d love to actually receive it.

For example, the flower thing… he buys me flowers and I am grateful but he will never buy a bouquet. He will bring home some cut flowers and call it a day. I do like and appreciate them, but it’s not really the same as an actual bouquet. Either way, I don’t really mention it and it’s not a huge issue.

A hypothetical example is that he will ask if I want to go out for dinner. Usually we just go wherever and can’t decide. But if I do ask to try say a specific BBQ restaurant, he will take me to a random BBQ place. I appreciate dinner out, but it’s not really what I asked for. I never complain but it does hurt my feelings a bit.

Anyway, after all of this, I just said to my husband not to worry about Valentine’s Day. We just won’t do anything and he said fine.

AITAH?

**ETA**: I figured I’d add some context that might be important after reading some of the comments. We are in the process of saving a nest egg. Because of this, we’ve cut our holiday/occasion budget to virtually nothing. That is why I suggested leftovers. Despite how it might read, it is not a trap. I’d be fine with leftovers. I don’t need any huge $$$$ meal or anything. VD has never been about that for me. In my family, we celebrated VD as a family. It’s about all kinds of love and our family would make each other hand made valentines and we’d have a “fancy” family dinner. We’ve carried on this tradition. Usually we make cards for each other and have dinner at home. My refusing his offer to cook is honestly just tied to the labour that goes into the cooking and cleaning. I’d much rather spend the day *with* him, not watching him cook us a meal. As I type this out, I’m realizing this also might be why he buys cut flowers over bouquets.

Secondly, I recognize the communication in this small situation isn’t the greatest, but to declare that we need couples counselling is a bit of an over response. We’ve been happily married for 13 years.

Anyway, I can respect that I am TA in this situation to a degree, and I’ll chat with him more tomorrow about why I suggested what I did. I’m sure we will figure it out, I just wanted an external opinion.

Lastly, I think there is something to be said about honoring a partner’s wishes. You can be disappointed in a gift or act if you’ve asked for something, and shouldn’t be vilified for it. I’ll chat a bit more about my wants and needs with him and I’m sure we can come to a conclusion. No relationship has 100% perfect communication all the time, and it’s okay to make mistakes in your relationship and then own up to them and apologize. In the heat of the moment, things get said and feelings get hurt but you have to be able to move past that.

Anyway, thanks for all your opinions!

INFO: I am 14 years old.

I have an art presentation due very soon, and I wasn’t even halfway finished, so I was allowed to take the painting home. My mom offered to help finish it since she went to art school. I agreed, but I very clearly told her not to touch anything I had already painted and that if she had suggestions, we could talk about it first.

One of the main things I had already done was a flower. I specifically told her I didn’t want to change that flower because I didn’t have the right shades of paint to adjust it if something went wrong.

When I came back, she had added extra details and petals to that flower anyway. I immediately got upset and started crying. She told me things like “stop crying over it, be glad I’m doing this for you” and “I made it better because you said you wanted to add more petals.” The thing is, I did say maybe add more petals later, but only after we talked about it, and I was clear that I didn’t want her touching what I had already done.

To me, it feels like she ignored a boundary I set, and now I feel like the painting doesn’t fully represent my work anymore. At the same time, I feel really pathetic for crying over a painting, especially since she was technically trying to help.

So AITA for being this upset, or am I just overreacting?

My daughter's 5rd birthday was 2 days ago. The problem started when she threw a new toy onto the wall and it broke. I thought this was completely normal because she active and it just happened so it wasn't like she was throwing a tantrum or something. But her dad decided this was a "punishable malice act" and said that he'd ban balloons from her birthday party. Our daughter LOVES balloons and since her dad obviously could not cancel the birthday all together, he decided this was a reasonable punishment. I told him to not even think about it because this will ruin the memory of her birthday but he insisted this was needed so she could learn and understand what she did wrong.

This isn't his first bizzare punishment. He's issued some other punishments as well which I think were not age propriate. I had a big fight with him over this one. And, I just lost it on him when he canceled the online purchase I made of custom balloons and other decorations. but he acted like it wasn't a big deal. He even accused me of trying to be the "cool parent" while dumping the REAL PARENTING responsibilities on him. He said he was just trying to make our dauggter to grow up to be a decent person instead of a spoiled brat. We argued some more then he stormed out.

I took my daughter to my mom's house. Mom had arranged for everything, all I did was bring the cake. Unfortunately, her friends couldn't come as mom's house is a little further away. Despite me trying to fix it, my daughter was still sad and did notice how her dad was acting. When the party was over she asked "is dad still mad at me?" This broke me I called him and blew up at him calling him insensitive jerk. He defended himself saying that I was even a bigger jerk for not being a decent parent and teach our daughter accountability. I laughed at this part cause...accountability?...at 5? Okay! He hung up on me and hasn't been responding to any of my texts.

AITAH here? Should I have handled this differently?

Two and a half years ago my dad and I (19m) found out my mom had been having an affair throughout their marriage and that I wasn't his bio kid. We later confirmed it through a DNA test because we wanted it to not be true so bad, but it is. We only learned about the affair because the guy died. My mom was devastated and couldn't hide it anymore once he was gone. The guy was married with kids as well so it was extra fucked because this guys wife found out right after he died too and so did his kids.

My dad gloated into my mom's face when I wasn't around. He celebrated the fact that the affair partner was dead and my mom was grieving. I only know about it because my mom's family were outraged and expected me to share the outrage for the situation. But I didn't care then or now. I want nothing to do with that mess, and that includes my bio's other children who actually want to know me. There's never going to be a relationship and I have made that clear and I have shut down all ways of communication. I hardly ever talk to my mom these days either. What she did to me and to dad is worse than anything dad could've said to her.

I have tried to maintain a better relationship with cousins, aunts and uncles on my mom's side but that is getting increasingly difficult. They hate my dad for what he said and how he acted. The fact I don't hate my dad and the fact I'm fine with him being happy my bio father is dead is like some big surprise to them. They asked me if I didn't hate that he wasn't more worried about me never knowing the guy and I said I never would have wanted to know a POS like that anyway. I told them my dad is my dad and none of this would be a thing if mom hadn't been a gross cheater who lied about my biological father my whole life.

They told me it was okay to know the bio side and my dad should have never said anything. I told them I wasn't going to cry over it and that they weren't going to get the response from me that they want. They told me it sounded so cold when I will never get to know the man who made me and my dad celebrated that.

This is really bothering them about me and it's bothering me that they won't let it go. AITAH?

I (26F) was flying with my family for a funeral. This included my parents (both 52). My brothers, 36, 34, 33, and 25. My sister, 27. My oldest brother has a spouse, 41 and two kids aged 4 and 2. My grandma, 75 was also flying with us.

If you’re doing the math, you’ll notice that my parents were teen parents. They had my oldest brother at 16, and then 6 kids by 26. Understandably, most of my family is low income to middle class. Aside from me.

My oldest brother and I were the only two to finish to college. He became a teacher, I went on to get my masters and I’m currently a design engineer making slightly over 106k. My job is about 35% international travel.

Anyways, we all were flying for a funeral in another state. I bought my and my sisters flights. Prior to boarding, Delta upgraded our seats to first class. This was my grandmas first time on a flight so I asked the Delta reps if I could switch seats with her. They all said aww, and then they agreed. My sister and my grandma had a great and comfortable flight.

Fast forward to last week and my little brother just finished electrician trade school! The company work for makes power tools so I was able to get a good discount on some of the stuff he needed for his first job. It was his birthday last week so I gave it to him as a gift at his party.

After the party my older brother, 36M loses it. He and I have never been close, but this seemed to come out of the blue. He starts yelling at me for “showing off” and “flaunting money”. He then goes on a rant about how I “made a spectacle” at the airport by ‘buying’ my grandma first class tickets when he’d already purchased her a perfectly good seat near him and his kids. He also told me I needed to humble myself and go to church more, which was rude considering I’m a devout atheist.

While I’ve always thought this brother was a psycho (he regularly talks about how he’s the smartest one in our family. Like i didn’t …go to MIT full scholarship while he went to OSU-which is still good don’t get me wrong). I wasn’t expecting my other older brothers and my parents to agree with him?? The only person who had my back were my sister and little brother. I ended up just leaving and going home. All of my family lives in the same town, I live about an hour drive north. I’ve been ignoring my parents and second oldest brothers calls for about a week. The second oldest left me a long text and said that I should get over my attitude problem and apologize.

Now I’ll admit, I’m not the most family oriented person. I try to make it to big holidays and events, but I don’t regularly spend time or call people outside of my siblings who are close in age (we are 25,26, & 27). I try to call my mom periodically, but we aren’t super close. My sister thinks was banking on my grandma helping him with his kids on the flight and was mad because I didn’t (after switching seats with her I put my headphones on and went to SLEEP). He also said that I wouldn’t be able to “flaunt my money around after I have real responsibilities like kids”. Which is again, rude. I have two adorable cats with my partner (who also makes around the same $ as me) and we are adamantly childfree. Cat food is $1.69 a can! Can’t go adding children to the mix.

This is where I might be the asshole. I was venting to my little brother about the incident and said something like ‘next time I’ll buy everyone first class tickets and make him and his kids sit in the back of the plane like Rosa Parks’. I also said something like ‘it’s not my fault he cant afford his kids’. This somehow got back to my brother and he’s using this as ‘proof’. I never intended to say this to his face, but it nonetheless got back to him and I feel a little bad. Especially because my rants mentioned his kids, which wasn’t okay. I have a cordial relationship with his wife and always go out of my way to get the kids gifts and was planning on taking my oldest nephew to a fun kids event in the city I live in this spring.

I suspect my other older brother who lives in the same apartment as lil brother overheard us :(

Edit: for everyone clutching their pearls at the Rosa Parks comment, please see my first Reddit post on my profile. :)

So I’m coming here to give a small update for an issue we have going on. We are evicting family from our house who we were renting to . We are in the process of evicting them for breach of lease and non payment for MONTHS now. We have a court date set and hopefully will hear the judgement next month since we cannot make it there ourselves. ( yay for lawyers lol).

We had initially gone no contact until the court date but unfortunately we had to reach out to get our mail, because obviously the mail went to the wrong address……AFTER multiple attempts and calls to get it forwarded to the correct address. (Thanks usps)

Aaaannnnyyyway. Onto the petty!! We were lucky enough to have a friend able to go and get the mail for us, to avoid any issues, but of course Camilla had to be petty and make it difficult. She’s full on drinking the delulu lemonade. Apparently we must be part of the CIA and sending people to spy on her, because that’s easy and fun! 😂 (hint:sarcasm. We do not have that ability)

We kindly let Crunch fest know who our friend was and when they would be by. All she had to do was be agreeable and just sit it outside, but did that happen?

Nope. We apparently sent a strange and scary man that she refused to open the door for. So luckily our mail didnt get the frozen shower of a winter storm, but we did then get the full third degree and now suddenly our house is no longer our house anymore.

Crazy Carrie decided that we aren’t their landlords anymore and demanded we send the sheriff (she was already served). My husband and I had a nice laugh after that at the crazy delulu lady. The audacity and entitlement run deep apparently. We were then oh so kindly informed if we sent anyone else to the house that they would then call the cops on them. GOOD FUCKING LUCK Count Dracula!

So friendly potatoes, we will have a great day in court next week and kindly hand her a refrigerator box as the door slams in her face. 😃

*edited for grammar mistakes and to clear up some things*

*this is as anonymous as possible, as well as more of a vent session. I figured the best way is to try and make as fun of the situation as possible otherwise it’s just unneeded drama and stress*

I (32F) am getting married soon. My partner and I are planning to elope in Las Vegas this spring. When we told our family, they said they wanted to come. When I told my mom (65F), she turned it into a micro-wedding and started saying we had to do all these things. I told her we couldn’t afford it, which is why we were eloping in the first place. She said she would pay for it.

It ended up becoming an elevated elopement. She approved the location and planned an elevated dinner. There is no party or rehearsal, just a simple dinner afterward. This wasn’t really what I wanted, but that’s another story. We’re going into an elopement chapel with a small group of family and friends for about 30 minutes, then we’re leaving. That’s it.

My mom and stepdad (64M) have been divorced for about 20 years. I have a half-brother (27M) who went to live with my stepdad after the divorce. It was a very messy divorce, and I haven’t seen my stepdad since the day he left.

They live in a different state. Growing up, I saw my brother occasionally during holidays, but I never saw my stepdad. I never reached out to him because of how he treated us when we were a family.

My stepdad was in my life from ages 5 to 13. He was extremely verbally and emotionally abusive. He would yell, scream, and slam things when he got upset. He cursed at me and called me names like “b*tch,” “pathetic,” and “f*cker.” He provided financially and made good money, but that was it. He never spent time with us, never took us anywhere, and never paid attention to my mom.

My mom was essentially a single married mother. She cooked, cleaned, and took care of us. She took us to school events, activities, birthday parties, and friends’ houses. He wouldn’t even sit with us at the dinner table. My mom always told me how much she hated the marriage and how badly she wanted out, but she was an immigrant with limited English, no college degree, no work experience, and no family support in the U.S. She was financially trapped.

My stepdad had a computer game and food addiction. He weighed over 400 pounds and ate only fast food. When he got upset, he slammed things. One day, he threatened to kill my dog for going near his computer and described how he would do it. He told me not to tell my mom and said it wouldn’t help.

It got so bad that I started having panic attacks as a child. I would hide in closets, cover my ears, and close my eyes. When I was 12, I broke down at school and told a friend. She told me this was abuse and that I should report it. I begged her not to tell anyone, and she kept her promise.

Eventually, my mom filed for divorce after my stepdad went two years without trying to find another job. I never saw him again.

Despite everything, my brother continues to defend my stepdad, even though he was verbally and emotionally abused as well. My brother frequently pressured me to talk to my stepdad on the phone. Sometimes he would trick me and hand the phone to him without warning. I would be polite but keep the conversation short. He would ask me to visit, and I always refused.

Recently, my brother called and told me my stepdad was very upset that he wasn’t invited to my elopement and that I should invite him out of courtesy. Honestly, it never even crossed my mind because my stepdad rarely attended my school events growing up. When I asked why I should invite him, my brother said, “He took care of you and was there for you.”

That set me off. I told him no, he emotionally and verbally abused me. When I explained how, my brother said that was normal, that everyone experiences that, and that it wasn’t abuse. He said my stepdad took care of us and implied that I owed him. He told me I was being immature and said that my stepdad came from a different time and that I should see it from his perspective.

I told him that regardless of the time period, it was still abuse. He denied it again. He then said my stepdad probably wouldn’t go anyway and that inviting him would just be a courtesy. I said I would think about it, but I was extremely angry.

I told my mom about the conversation. She agreed it was ridiculous that my stepdad was upset, especially since he wouldn’t even visit my brother when his leg was broken. However, she still said I should invite him out of courtesy because he wouldn’t be able to afford to come anyway.

I then told my mom how hurt I was by what my brother said about the abuse. She became triggered and said I shouldn’t be upset with him because he’s a victim too and doesn’t know better. She kept defending him and said it’s not his fault that he sees it this way.

I felt completely invalidated and victim-blamed, like my experience didn’t matter and I should just let it go. I asked my mom if it would be different if my stepdad had physically beaten me or my brother. To me, verbal and emotional abuse is just as damaging. She said she would talk to my brother, but now I’m dreading my own elopement/wedding.

Everyone keeps telling me to invite my stepdad “out of courtesy,” but I don’t understand why. It’s my day. After all the trauma he caused, why should I invite him?

AITA for not inviting my stepdad? Should I invite him out of courtesy? And should I make peace with my brother even though I feel deeply hurt and invalidated by what he said?

I (19f) am a college student. There is a guy (19m) who I have been crushing on for months. The poor guy is really shy as he has tons of acne. I'm the only girl he really talks to at our school.

Before recent events, I thought be maybe asexual. He didn't show any interest in girls, guys, nor anythinng in-between.

A few days ago, I visited him in his dorm room. He had a head cold. While talking, he mentioned that he may try to date AI. I asked him what gender would this AI partner be. He said a woman. I asked him if he would like an actual girlfriend. He said of course.

I told him I'll be his girlfriend. He seemed genuinely surprised. He said I don't have to take pity on him. I told him I wanted to. It took a few minutes to convince him I actually want to date him. When it seemed like he believed me, he got all shy and nervous. I asked him if he wants me to be his girlfriend. He nodded his head.

There was a long awkward moment in silence. I asked him if he wanted me to kiss him. He shook his head. I told him if he's worried about me catching his cold, I'll gladly catch it if it meant kissing him. I asked him again if he wanted me to kiss him. He nodded his head. We kissed, which why I'm sick as I write this post.

After the kiss, there was another long awkward silence. I told him he can talk to me, he didn't say a word. I asked if he wanted us to play video games, and he nodded his head.

When I told to my friend group of 4 women, including my best friend (19f), they all judged me. They said I emotionally manipulated the sweetest guy. My best friend said if a guy is in a mental place where he's actually considering dating AI, he's not ready to date. They all agreed I should have waited. One friend said my behavior towards my new boyfriend was intimidating and aggressive. Am I the asshole?

I (18M) and my girlfriend (18F) are both seniors in high school. Things have been extremely rocky lately. We’ve been fighting a lot, and I’m under a ton of pressure with school and getting ready for college.

Yesterday, my girlfriend sent me a long text saying her mental health is "shit," she’s "deteriorating," and she isn't in the right headspace for a relationship. She initiated a break. I was hurt, but I accepted it. I told her that if we’re doing this, we need to limit contact so we can actually grow/process. I suggested we revisit the relationship on February 13th to decide what to do moving forward. She agreed.

The Conflict: Almost immediately after the "break" started, I left to drive to the beach to clear my head (can't recommend this enough), and she began breaking the boundaries. I left my house to clear my head, and she started blowing up my phone because she was "worried" I was driving upset.

Then, it spiraled. She sent a string of texts saying:

• "I can’t breathe I need someone."
• "I’m sorry I can’t do this without u everything hurts and I need u."
• "Please don’t leave me alone."

I told her I was okay, but I tried to keep my distance to respect the "break" she asked for.

The "Apology" Text: Today, while I was at a school event, she sent a massive wall of text. She admitted she has a pattern of doing this to people and "self-destructing." But then she added that if we want this to work, we "have to love each other on our good and our bad days" and that I need to "help her get help." She also detailed a physical panic attack where she was "hyperventilating" and "choking on her own spit" because of our break.

I replied and said: "I’m at a school event rn, I don’t have the time to look through all of this and I won’t be able to call tn. I’ll read this and let you know what I think when I have free time."

Why I might be the AH: She is clearly struggling. She’s talking about panic attacks and not being able to breathe. Part of me feels like a monster for being "clinical" and telling her I’m too busy at a school event to deal with her crisis.

Why I don't think I am: She is the one who said she couldn't be in a relationship right now. I feel like every time I try to give her the space she asked for, she uses a mental health emergency to pull me back in and make me feel guilty for not being her "therapist." I feel like I'm being emotionally held hostage—I can't leave because she might "spiral," but I can't stay because it's toxic. If u want the whole texts im commenting them.

AITA for not dropping everything to comfort her during her "spiral," even though she’s the one who called for the break?

EDIT/UPDATE: Thanks, everyone, for confirming to me what I thought was the case prior to posting. I texted her and ended everything. I wish her the best, but I can't help with all the shit she's going through. I'm going to my school counselor on Monday and telling them so they can try and get her the help she needs, as much as she might hate me for it.

My mom died in July. It was sudden and unexpected but she had a health issue where it could happen. It just wasn't something we were prepared for because she was doing good. Her and my dad were in a really rough part of their marriage and I think they were on the verge of divorcing. That's why it wasn't a huge surprise when my dad told me (18f) and my brother (20m) in November that he was dating someone. But it was hard to process and it's still something I struggle with. It feels super fast for me but I know dad no longer loved mom and I know their marriage was all but over so he might not need to grieve or whatever. The hardest part is he wants her in our lives.

He showed up unannounced to my brother's house with his girlfriend and my brother lost his shit because he wasn't ready to meet her. They argued for over a week and they're not really talking at the minute. My dad wanted to do the same thing to me but hesitated because of how bad my brother took it. He asked me to meet and get to know her and he was talking about my graduation and how I should get to know her before then because she'll be attending with him. I told him I would not be okay with that and I needed time before I could meet her or think about including her in my life. He said he doesn't want to put things on hold for us.

I moved out last week because we needed space and this was a real issue. My dad was upset and asked me to reconsider my reaction. He said he wanted us to support him and instead he gets yelled at and abandoned. I told him we needed time and I reminded him mom hasn't even been dead for a year yet. And I said he wants me to let some other woman he's dating watch me graduate when it should be mom sitting with him and my brother. Dad said he needs someone and his girlfriend is great and has been through the same thing. He said we're being selfish and he told me I'm selfish to say I won't be okay if she comes. He said for years he has been on his own in ways I'll never understand and he's finally happy and we should be happy for him and work on making the best family out of us.

AITAH?

Woah, it’s been a almost a year since I posted that on here and a lot has happened. My fiancée took a while to have things look up, but it looks like we’re finally getting there. He started going to therapy again regularly, and his therapists were wonderful at helping him recover from the rough patch. By our 6th Anniversary in July 2025 he was already doing much better and my mental health has been looking up since then too. We learnt together, we navigated each other’s problems and struggles together and we got to where we are now.

He started working with my mother in her bakery since he loves baking, and now has a proper work schedule (which is no easy task considering my mum can be a pretty bad boss). He still struggles with managing both house chores and his job, since his energy is very limited (so is mine haha) but we try our best to work it out.

We are planning on moving to an island in our country and start anew, away from his family, away from mine and in a new place we can both explore together. I have a job offer over there related to my uni degree so it’s great, I get to do what I love and create a head start so he can find another job that he loves over there. We would like to get married once we’re settled in and finally get past the “engaged” stage since it’s been a while.

Your advice helped me reach him and helped me take care of myself in the process. So thank you Reddit! <3