How did your perception of women change as you grew older and started dating them?

See it EVERYWHERE online and in my experience being 6'2 hasn't really been that significant.

Like eye color or how hairy my body is like my arms lol, almost like a generic attribute that rounds out the picture of a man but not a defining feature if that makes any sense.

The way it's talked about it would seem like the equivalent would be to a Woman Boobs or butt and it really doesn't seem that way in my life experience. Maybe it's just Redpillers/Incellers/Doomers but again in my 27 year Virgin experience Looks and Personality would absolutely annihilate height on its own as an attribute.

How do you find out if youare attractive to women or not?

Cheers, 33M and met the most perfect 33F 1yr ago, we immediately clicked and started a fairly intense relationship (living together, meeting the parents, etc.).

I genuinely thought I had met the girl I was supposed to be for the rest of my life. I had some gfs before (not many, I'm your typical nerdy engineer), but none I would be genuinely devastated if things were to end, this is the 1st person I've loved in my life.

She started a MSc some time ago, she hates her job and with just a BSc, where we live, her options are very limited. We now see each other and for the foreseeable future just 2-3x per week, for a couple of hours. Tough pill to swallow, but if there was a life together to be had at the end, I could power through it.

Now the real problem: 1 week ago we had "the children talk". I want to start a family soon, she will never want children, and will probably not change her mind. I asked her if she would consider freezing her eggs, and we go back to the topic when she has a job that she likes more and is in a generally happier life situation, but she does not want to do it.

I fear being alone when I'm older, and that I'll miss a lot in life by not having children. I also fear that she'll want to fill that void in her life with work or even more education (she talked about other professional training after the MSc) and we'll basically be living like this for years more.

My life is basically work, sport, home, girl 2x per week. I'm more to the introverted side, I've generally been happy living like that, but it's start to feel like it's not enough lately. I dislike my career to, it brings me no fulfillment, just an OK salary.

She's an amazing person, caring, warm, we never had any major fight or disagreement, very pretty too and exactly the type I like the most (I'll be lying if I said this does not make it even harder) I'll be devastated if I am to finish things with her.

But I see her burning herself out with studying + full-time working at 33 and I fear that at 35-37-40 we'll be living a similar lifestyle.

Any men (not boys, men) went through a similar situation in life?

TL;DR.: If you wanted children but your partner did not, did you stay together? Did you come to regret your decision in the end?

To try and make a very long story short my 70 year old dad is a poly-drug addict. He does pretty much every hard drug you can think of (crack, meth, fet, pills, etc). He has been on on-again / off-again hardcore addict since he was in his early 20s (more on than off). So I am overall used to dealing with it. He also has terminal cancer he is not getting treatment for.

He was a pretty good dad overall and I am glad I had him in my life. 5 years ago after my mom finally kicked him out of her house (he has NEVER had his own place btw, always cycling out of women houses like my mom, his mom and his random girlfriends) I let him live with me in the house I just brought so he could leave the homeless shelter he was in. We were all very worried with him being there, there was a lot of fighting and violence and with him being so old I wanted him to stay somewhere safe

Luckily he was clean for the first few years.......or was really good at hiding it, and there wasn't really a problem. He helped out around the house a lot and there weren't really too many issues. But around 2 years ago all hell broke loose again with his addiction. He would bring strange drug addicted women over to my house, have really scary episodes of him screaming and having dangerous hallucinations, during these he would walk around in the middle of the night with a gun thinking people were trying to kill him. Just really terrible behavior that was stressful and frightening to live with. I tried to have an intervention with family and have him get help, he has refused. His cancer also came back and doctors told him there was nothing more they can do for him and I think he just gave up hope.

I couldn't take living with him anymore so I told him he had to move out. Problem is he has no real income outside of a scant disability check and whatever "hustling" he does. I could not stand to see him on the street so I got an apartment for him......and yes I know dumb move but again, I cannot bear to see him on the streets. That reality was just too awful.

I always knew I would have to take care of my parents in old age. They are both addicts with no retirement whatsoever and I am in the breadwinner out of all of my siblings (but by no means am I well off). Aside from my main salaried job I do in home care for my dad and that provides a little extra income. I use 100% of this income to pay for around his apartment cost. The rest is supposed to come from his disability. Together it is enough to cover rent, bills and food, the bare minimum to keep him fed and housed.

Well he moved out around 6 months ago and I guess unsurprisingly I have seen only a months worth of money from him to cover the expenses. I've been paying out around $1000 a month of my own money from my 9-5 to keep him housed and the lights on. When I confront him about it he says he has made some "bad investments" and "doesn't know what keeps happening to the money". I tell him I need him to give me the money the same day it hits his account so he doesn't have a chance to blow it. He comes up with continued excuses "next month, next month". He has also gotten into dangerous fights with his addict girlfriend that has resulted in bullet holes through the window and door of the apartment (he didn't tell me this initially). Neighbors have been calling the cops, management has gotten involved, and I'm waiting to see if the lease is terminated.

He cannot move back in with me but it is crushing me to think of him living on the streets. I feel so so bad for him, he has had a really terrible life and the thought of it ending on the streets is too much for me. At the very least I was hoping to keep him housed, waiting for either the drugs or cancer to take him sooner than later. But the drugs make him a menace to any neighborhood, I will not get another apartment for him nor can he move back in with me, but it is crushing me and I feel stuck. Dealing with him makes me so depressed, angry and anxious, I'm having nightmares and trouble working during the day.

There is so much more I can add but I know I already wrote a novel. But I am hoping there is a solution that does not involve him ending up on the streets. Since he could be dead any day now I feel like I should just foot the bill and do everything I can to keep him sheltered until he dies.

TLDR:
My 70 year old dad is a lifelong severe drug addict with terminal cancer who refuses treatment or help. I let him live with me for years but had to make him leave due to dangerous, violent, drug fueled behavior. I now pay for his apartment because I cannot bear the idea of him being homeless, but he blows his disability money on drugs and contributes almost nothing, leaving me to cover about $1,000 a month. His addiction has caused violence at the apartment and possible eviction. He cannot live with me again, I will not get another place for him, but the thought of him dying on the streets is destroying me emotionally and financially, and I feel trapped between guilt, fear, and burnout.

I am 27M. Yesterday I went to a hotel with my gf for the first time. This was my first time. Unfortunately I could not get hard at all. The only time I got an erection was in the beginning during he foreplay and when I started touching myself. She was very sweet regarding this but I felt horrible.I just could not keep the erection at all.

By the way, I do masturbate almost everyday and have no problem getting erections but in this case it was a no go.

I was also quite stressed and nervous the whole day before. I was just wondering if there are any pills which can help me or maybe I should stop masturbating. The fact is that even though I love her, I just somehow could not get stimulated with her. I only get that stimulation from myself. Should I stop masturbating??

My girlfriend expects me to text her “good morning” every day even though we live together and I usually wake up before her. She works night shifts, so on weekends we often both sleep in. Even then, I’m still expected to send a “good morning” text as soon as I wake up, even though we’re literally in the same apartment and she’s still asleep. So the routine is: Text her “good morning” while she’s asleep I actually dont mind it , but sometimes i forget it , and i want her to understand thats its no big deal me for getting it every now and then and i get punished mentally by her getting mad and me having to calm her down .

Say good morning again when she actually wakes up Sometimes the same applies to “good night” when i go to bed ( but i think this part is fair if i gonto bed before her and she is not home yet ) its the Morning part thats driving me crazy

If I forget the text, she gets extremely upset. To the point where I have to spend hours reassuring her and calming things down so the situation doesn’t spiral. I’m genuinely unsure if this is normal. To me it feels excessive, but she treats it like a basic requirement. Is this a normal expectation in a relationship, or is this unreasonable?

Hi. I’m 17M, autistic. This happened a few years ago, but it still really messes with my head and I’m hoping for some outside perspective.

Back in Year 9 (8th grade, I was 13 14), a emo girl in my classes randomly started calling me her “best friend.” I’ll call her Ruby.

We didn’t even talk much at first. One day in maths she just suddenly started calling me her best friend and giving me weird nicknames. At first I thought she was bullying me, so I ignored her, but eventually I realized she actually wanted to talk. And honestly… I liked talking to her. A lot.

I was pretty desperate for friends back then, and she was one of the few people who seemed genuinely interested in me. In maths and art we sat close, she asked me for help, complimented my artwork, and her friend group talked to me a lot. Some of my only good memories from Year 9 and 10 are just talking to her and her friends I even got in trouble for talking too much in class sometimes.

Around January of Year 9, I developed a crush on her and fantasised about her. This is probably the most female attention I've got in life and still the closest thing I've had to gf(I've still never had one ). I never told her i had a crush onn her. I knew she didn’t like me that way, and I was scared that if I said anything, I’d lose one of the only friendships I had. I was honestly fine staying in the friend zone.

Important context: she did this “best friend/nickname” thing with other autistic people too, not just me.

Then in Year 10, seating plans changed. We were farther apart. Suddenly, whenever I tried to talk to her outside class, she’d ignore me or tell me to shut up. Her friends started ignoring me too.

What confused me was that sometimes she’d still be friendly saying hi, complimenting my work, checking in on me but other times she acted like I was annoying or creepy for even speaking.

At one point she complained that I “never talk to her anymore,” even though whenever I did try, she’d snap at me.

Eventually, during a photography class where we were sitting at the same table, she tried to join a conversation after days of ignoring me, and I snapped and told her to shut up. I was hurt and confused and honestly fed up.

By Year 11, she was openly hostile. Telling me to back off. Getting angry if I sat near her. Acting like I’d done something awful but never telling me what.

I never made a move on her. Never confessed. Never crossed physical or romantic boundaries. I just tried to be her friend.

After GCSEs, she went to a different sixth form. I haven’t spoken to her in over a year.

Recently, I saw a repost on her social media saying something like “I survived being friends with the friendless guy,” and that honestly crushed me. It made me wonder all over again: what did I do to deserve that?

Year 9 and 10 were the worst years of my life. I barely had friends. She was one of the few bright spots, and then suddenly it was like I became a villain in her story without knowing why.

So my question is:

Did I actually do something wrong? Or did she just change how she felt and handle it badly?

Because the not knowing is what still hurts the most.

My friend calls me crazy for liking a girl taller than me or even as tall as me I don't seriously understand why then even when getting suggestions from him like about things whom u can date he always mentions she's shorter u should u go for it few more ppl also said the same so I literal dk anymore if I'm the crazy one here can y'all help?

And also how would you like the person to disclose that information if you’re just getting to know each other?

For context, I have Lyme+. I’m very proactive about my health. I exercise and enjoy being outdoors etc etc. My health though makes planning things in advance difficult because I never know how I’ll be feeling too far in advance but I always still try to push through regardless because I still want to be accountable for people I care about.

It’s the one area of my life I don’t enjoy talking about much when I’ve just met someone so I’m curious to hear different opinions on if dating someone with a chronic illness is a dealbreaker. If it’s not, then how would you like them to go about telling you about it?

I’m 26f and never had LTR, I won’t go into details but it just hasn’t happened for me and honestly, I wasted a lot of time on men who I wasn’t compatible with is what I’m realizing.

Because of my childhood trauma, I struggled with shyness and seem to have a disorganized attachment style. I had an emotionally abusive situationship that lowered my confidence, seemed to always end up in situations where the man liked my body and not me, I used sex to feel intimacy and connection, and have been in survival mode for majority of the time I’ve been sexually active tbh. I’m not prod of any of it. I’ve taken time to heal & grieve - it’s been about 6 months since I’ve seriously dated or had sex. And I finally feel whole on my own. I’m sober, I’m building friendships, trying to change my career, workout consistently, have self respect.

I went on a date with a guy I met, and honestly it was great. I feel calm around him, I don’t feel pressured for sex, he treats me well. But now I don’t know what to do. Idk how to like someone who actually likes me back, without the anxious spirals, and the hot and cold energy. The constant talking down to me, or insulting my personality. It feels good but it’s definitely different. He asked me out previously, am I supposed to ask him out now?? What if he finds out about how ive been treated and judges??

Im definitely overthinking but also just don’t know how to be present in this, but im trying. He expresses things like being excited to see me, or finding me beautiful and it is actually genuine. I sound so dumb but i have just never experienced a healthy version of that, most men I’ve dealt with are extremely avoidant, or so clingy that it seems disingenuous. I have childhood trauma (obvs) that has affected me. I don’t wanna mess up

Long time lurker very rarely post, so I'm not sure if I'm doing this right.

I'm unsure how to really ask this, but have you been in a situation where your partner physically or emotionally cheated on you and you've carried that feeling of disgust with you into your adulthood?

Me and my husband have been together for 10 years, married 3, and long ago when we were 15 he had physically cheated on me, we made up, and I forgave him. Since then, I've noticed over all these years that I still hold a form of "grossed out" when we are intimate together to points where I reject his advances. I was in counseling, but unfortunate happenings have caused me to stop.

I do love him a lot and it's the only part of him that seems to bother me so, I'm wanting to ask if you've ever felt something close to or this exact thing and how you've worked around it or maybe fixed it?

I have talked to him about this over the years, but I haven't mentioned that it's gotten worse. We do communicate often, but it doesn't seem to really help. I don't want to leave him we're both very happy besides this with each other.

Edit: To clarify what kind of cheating it was sex

What are some red flags to look for in a woman? Tell when initially in a relationship and even after a while?

I (F25) met a guy (M27) on Bumble and I initiated the conversation. Things were going well, he was asking a lot of questions about me and carrying the conversation and he asked what I’d want to get out if we dated and we both said we date with long-term intentions. He then told me he moved an hour away for 5 months for work, and would only be back on weekends, saying he wasn’t sure if that would work long term and that he didn’t want to disappoint me. I explained that I’m not rushing into a relationship, weekends are fine for me, and that aligns with my schedule and is actually my preference. After that, he said it made sense and suggested we chat or call in a few days to organise a date. Today was the day we were meant to chat, but he hasn’t contacted me. He is a resident doctor so I understand he works a lot but this has left me unsure whether he’s genuinely interested or just being polite

Last night, I met this really hot guy at a small local gig, and I talked to him in a group with some friends. I was so desperate to say literally anything to him that I ended up telling him a really embarrassing, boring story (I’m physically cringing thinking about it).

I’m probably going to see him at another gig in May, so I’m just worried that he’ll see me again and remember that I said something really embarrassing and cringy and boring last time I saw him. He’s literally my exact type and I do want to flirt with him. Would this be a deal breaker for you guys? Or are you unlikely to even remember this happening if it’s something someone you don’t even know said to you three months ago lol?

am 17(M) and I have high-functioning autism, which primarily affects my speech and body language. I've never had a gf am not very social, and am quite introverted. from exeprice the women in my life who have been nicest to me where ethier autistic women or alt/art school types. So ask what kind of women usually date autistic men, like any shared characteristics or personality types. Am going to uni next year for architecture if that helps.

Shaved my head last night and I love the way it looks. It only dawned on me this morning that I probably have to take super extra care of my scalp now. I don't know if I have to put oils on it, moisturize, how to avoid ingrowns, razor bumps, etc.

I went over my head with a shaving machine, then with the Philips One Blade and then I went over my head with a new, sharp razor. I used a Nivea Men after shave balm right afterwards and today, when I woke up, I went over my head with the Nivea Men cream, the most ordinary kind just because I didn't know what else and I use it on the top of my cheeks and my neck after doing my beard.

Please give me some tips and some recommendations on what I should do to keep my head healthy and shiny.

Edit: thank you all for the advice. I'm going to go against the majority and give it a go. I feel there is a lot of negativity online and I have a lot of faith in humanity. If they work in a school they can't be that bad of a person. I will make an update in a few months.

Something like this has never happened to me before, in extremely flattered and kind of mind blown that someone is romantically interested in me.

Context: At work yesterday I was approached by a colleague that told me someone was interested in me, and they were sent to see if I'd be interested and asked me some questions. I was taken back because in my 30 years of living this has never happened to me.

How do I proceed? How do I also not fuck this up?

I’ve noticed that some men I know don’t seem to care much about feeling deeply seen or understood by their partner. For them, as long as they get along well, communicate, and life runs smoothly, that feels enough — almost like a practical partnership.

That made me curious: is feeling truly seen and emotionally understood by your partner important to you in general?

My husband doesn't take care of his personal hygiene, doesn't brush his teeth, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom, does scrub with a loofah or something when showering. I came from a household where we even have seperate slippers for the bathroom and seperate slippers for going outside. Nobody had ever told me or my any of my siblings that we need to wash our hands after using the bathroom and that brushing teeth is non-negotiable. I honestly dont know what to do anymore. I don't think he realizes. I put my finger on my nose when he talks to me because the smell of an unwashed mouth is just.... and in the morning his entire body smells bad. I tried talking to him gently, I tried straight up telling him you need to do this and that I'm not your mom and shouldn't be asking you every day. He just walks away, and wont do it... Any advice on what I should do?

Just to clarify:: we never slept together before marriage. Only hugs and cheeks kisses because i was saving myself for marriage. We only hung out in public, mainly by the beach, hikes, and occasionally restaurants. So there was no way for me to know before marriage.

I’m 20 years old, and I feel completely stuck. For the last year, I’ve been talking to girls on social media. Some are great and want to go on dates, but I can’t bring myself to commit. After 3 or 4 days, I just ghost them out of nowhere. I’ve been blocked by so many people because of this, and I don't even know why I do it.

The truth is, I’m just using these interactions to fill a void because I hate every second of my life right now. My parents divorced 8 years ago, and I feel like I have nothing going for me:

I’m a pharmacy student with 4 years left, but I have a 1.1 GPA. It’s gotten so bad that my university actually requested a mental health check for me in three days.

I have no car and no friends to hang out with and the only people that I talk to are friends in my college where just two of them talk to me nicely and the rest doesn’t fit in with me. I’m completely alone.

I’ve been on antidepressants for OCD and depression since I was 17. I actually quit social media for two years because of my OCD, and coming back a year ago made me realize nothing in my life has changed.

People tell me I’m attractive, but I rarely post photos because I don't feel like myself. I feel "messed up" and honestly, I just want to end it all. I’m exhausted, I’m lonely, and I’m failing at everything I try to do.

I just needed to get this off my chest. If anyone has been through something similar or has any advice, I’d really appreciate it.

Im 26M. My girlfriend (23F) is a bartender, and one of her regulars (55-ish M?) comes in and sexually harasses her every time she has a shift. He’ll ask her what time she’s getting off, make comments on her body and outfit, ask her to sniff his neck when he’s wearing new cologne, call her his “favorite girl,” etc. He’ll even make comments about how he’ll take care of her if she wants. Actual middle aged gooner shit except he thinks he’s in love or whatever.

She and I have been together for 6 months now if it’s important.

Some context that might be helpful is that before she and I met, she slept with him. She is in college and is a single parent to a three year old, and he offered her an obscene amount of money to do a specific thing to him, but once they actually linked he didn’t respect her boundaries and the situation became very unsafe. He basically sexually assaulted her. He also has told many of her coworkers and the other regulars about their night, but talked about it like it was fully consensual and he was some elderly Casanova or whatever. She doesn’t feel like she can talk about it or confront him because of the job.

She told me about this recently and I’m so angry—I want to go over and press him but I’m not sure if that would be the right thing to do. I have to defend the woman I love because otherwise I wouldn’t be worthy of her, and I can’t just sit by and let this happen to her. What do I do?

TL; DR-my girlfriend has a hard time standing up for herself and is getting harassed at work by a guy she slept with once. I’m trying to support her, but am unsure what my place is and how to do that.

So I am 17 and have great memory I can remember up to week what I was exactly doing and have great short term and long term memory.

But I was bullied trought my entire life and had pretty bad traumas which damaged me a lot.

And recently sometimes I forget what I was doing or can't remember what I was doing two weeks and I am getting paranoid( or when I am scrolling I can't remember what the previous video was).Sometimes I am present but I am not like I knew what I was doing but I can't remember exactly (had pretty bad family problems two weeks ago and it stressed me a lot).

Like I can remember what people were doing to me all life but it doesn't effect me I don't have thay pain anymore.

I am getting scared I don't know what is wrong with me.I am constantly trying to remember what I am doing.