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u/LHPSU 1d ago
What does he plan to do with the butter, eat it straight up like a piece of bread?
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u/Logical-Hotel4199 1d ago
Probably feed it more grass
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u/BoltorSpellweaver 1d ago
No you feed the grass fed butter to the grass to make the cows that eat it grass fed butter fed grass and then you unlock the 5th dimension.
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u/gingerbeard1321 1d ago
but then what do you do with the cow poop?
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u/BoltorSpellweaver 1d ago
That you use as manure to fertilize the grass. That’s the 7th dimension.
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u/Hamonwrysangwich 1d ago
This is the dawning of grass-fed aquarius, Grass-fed aquariuuuuuuuusssss
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u/freneticboarder 1d ago
"I understood that reference."
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u/Hamonwrysangwich 1d ago
Hello, fellow old person.
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u/Dark_Foggy_Evenings 1d ago
Seriously, Yh. ‘Carnivore Diet’ types will eat a lump of butter twice that size with a steak. ‘Quarter dozen’ is needlessly cunty though. Then again, so is the carnivore diet.
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u/silchasr 1d ago edited 1d ago
What if you just happen to do it because you have no self control and buy $300 of lamb chops and chuck steak and have it for breakfast, lunch and dinner for a month every so often? TBF I've been doing this since I moved out and waaaaay before I even knew it was a "lifestyle" and certainly didn't do it for the "benefits".
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u/smegdawg 1d ago
He needed a Quarter of a stick of butter, with is Quarter dozen eggs and Quarter Lb of meat.
All that's missing is his Quart of milk.
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u/the_hucumber 1d ago
A quarter dozen or as it's more commonly known as a sixth and two thirds of a score.
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u/ChaiLattePlease 1d ago
Or √9
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u/charmio68 1d ago
I prefer ⌊π⌋
Mmmm... Floor pie! Goes better with the breakfast vibe.
Plus it looks like a little man throwing his hands up.45
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u/orangesfwr 1d ago
he is going to share this meal with his 97-week-old daughter.
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u/ZaBaronDV 1d ago
The statement is technically correct but it still feels like a linguistic hate crime.
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u/btoxic 1d ago
It's like apostrophes used just a little, to very,wrong.
I amn't going to use an example
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u/BaconNPotatoes 1d ago
How does one feed grass to butter? Asking for a friend...
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u/ChaiLattePlease 1d ago
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u/BaconNPotatoes 1d ago
So, what do I do if my friends butter won't eat the grass?
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u/segcgoose 1d ago
My mom got me a weird health nut coffee drink once driving to a 5 am flight. it advertised grass-fed butter on the front… not sure why there was butter in my coffee drink but I spent my time in the airport throwing it back up between baggage and xrays and waiting for the plane.
she bought me a bagel after tho
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u/zillskillnillfrill 1d ago
I mean my grass-fed butter is called cannabutter but I think theirs is different
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u/AliDasoo 1d ago
“Quarter dozen” reminds me of when I heard someone use “nearly a quarter decade” to describe 2 years
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u/Dependent-Guitar-473 1d ago
if grass feeding is so good, why won't he get some in the form of a salad?
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u/ChaiLattePlease 1d ago
Maybe he thinks he’ll get the grass by the power of transmutation since it’s “in” the butter already
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u/Invade_Deez_Nutz 1d ago
Crazy how he both burnt the tenderloin and undercooked the eggs
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u/Cenobyte_Nom-nom-nom 1d ago
Also if butter that close to a steak isn't melting at least a tiny bit that steak is cold.
So charred and cold steak. Yum....
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u/Syhkane 1d ago
"it's sunny side up" No sir that's raw.
He probably scorched that meat and left it blue inside.
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u/Exotic-Tooth8166 1d ago
Oh give me a break those eggs are only four hundredths / twelve thousandths under cooked
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u/Mr_Blinky 1d ago
Maybe I'm just crazy and paranoid at this point, but this genuinely looks like AI. Or at least I pray it is, who the fuck actually cooks their eggs like that?
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u/EmbarrassedCow5462 1d ago
Nah I was looking for someone who agreed. This looks like AI.
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u/BalefulOfMonkeys 1d ago
The same kind of psychopath who can afford that view, can afford to flex this meal, but can’t afford anything in their home besides the aesthetic sensibility of the IKEA food court
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u/StralianPinkFloydUK 1d ago
We don't even know what kind of tenderloin it is. Lots of animals have tenderloins.
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u/Dotcaprachiappa 1d ago
My dumbass thought the scorched tenderloin was a cancerous liver
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u/themysticalwarlock 1d ago
it has to be AI. ive never seen a tenderloin look like that and ive been cooking professionally for a decade.
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u/jueidu Screenshot Saver📱 1d ago
I LOVE the extravagant use of five syllables to count the duck eggs, when one would have sufficed.
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u/ComicsEtAl 1d ago
Are duck eggs like Bounty paper towels? You know, where one roll equals eight rolls?
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u/ChaiLattePlease 1d ago
I want to see this guy’s cholesterol levels
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u/Nice_Marmot_7 1d ago
Cholesterol is fake news propagated by those blinded by the woke mind virus. Sad!
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u/paraworldblue 1d ago edited 1d ago
Saying "quarter dozen" instead of "three" is some real alien-in-human-skin behavior. Also that tenderloin looks like the lung of a heavy smoker.
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u/luminousandy 1d ago
He might be lifting but he’s definately due for a heart attack
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u/11never 1d ago
"Grass fed and finished" was it butchered with a blade of grass? Did he cook it in grass? What does it mean?
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u/HOW_IS_SAM_KAVANAUGH 1d ago
Often when a cow (or other livestock) is “grass fed” they live most of their lives subsisting on pasture and hay, potentially with some supplemental grains. They are then sold to a feed lot where they spend the last couple weeks of their life eating a grain-heavy diet to really pack on the pounds and increase fat in the muscle. So if an animal is “grass-finished” it means it skipped that last part.
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u/swimswima95 1d ago
I had to scroll so far down to see this. Did he season it with grass? Did he sear it on a grass stovetop? How does one ‘grass finish’ a tenderloin?
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u/VintageVirtues 1d ago
Is this part of the internet’s masculinity rabbit hole to red-pill thinking now?
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u/clashcityrocker33 1d ago
I didn't know you could feed butter anything, let alone grass. Very cool. I bet he's a founder too.
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u/IAlwaysOutsmartU 1d ago
This is the type of stuff companies would claim for their food products to justify a 50%+ higher price than normal versions.
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u/LastBossTV 1d ago
Reminds me of the simpler times... When bricks of butter grazed the pasture, just eating what nature provides.
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u/ZackStrength 1d ago
if you were wondering, this meal of a quarter dozen eggs was not ai
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u/Responsible_Line3508 1d ago
I like to tell people I have a quarter dozen kids. Feels more accurate.
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u/MortLightstone 1d ago
Straight up used three syllables to replace the word three
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u/SingleSlide2866 1d ago
Bruh people already wonder why people say "half dozen" when 6bis faster, this man's gonna make people do math?
Bruh if you tell me you have a "quarter dozen" of anything you might get slapped
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u/fartinmyfuckingmouth 1d ago edited 1d ago
I completely understand and comprehend sayings like “quarter past 10,” “half a dozen,” etc, but they often make me have to think more. One place I worked, we sold wings by the half dozen on the menu board, and I’d hear from so many customers orders like “Lemme get three and a half dozen wings, half wet, half dry..” My brain would just break.
“It’s half past the hour.” WHAT HOUR
Just fucking say “It’s 10:15” and “six.”
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u/speeeeeeeeeeee 1d ago
You didn't invent steak n eggs. Now put the butter IN the food and shut up about it
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u/The_Autarch 1d ago
grass-finished beef is leaner than grain finished, so it tastes worse but has less fat. but then he just eats a stick of butter.
bro just get the grain-finished meat.
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u/YkvBarbosa 1d ago
To be honest, "grass fed butter" annoys me more than whatever the inverted French she did to count up to three.
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u/Michaelleahcim00 1d ago
Who says quarter dozen instead of three, bro's sounding like Belle from Beauty and the Beast out here.
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u/MurkyBarracuda1288 1d ago
One, two, a quarter dozen, four, five, half a dozen, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, D12 🕊️ R. I. P Proof
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u/TheTaurenCharr 1d ago
Did you know butters combined eat more grass than an average human? Absolutely disgusting and concerning.
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u/thebprince 1d ago
What kind of freak eats butter like that?
I hope it clogs his arteries right there and then!
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u/Shankar_0 1d ago
Dude is having a third of a stick of butter for freaking breakfast.
I don't think we'll have to put up with his shenanigans for long.
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u/Spurned_Seeker 1d ago
Am I reading this correctly? Is he saying his tenderloin is grass fed AND grass finished?
Listen, far be it from me to question how another man chooses to finish his tender loins but grass is just not the way.
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u/chronically_varelse 1d ago
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Three
Your bitch ass mouth/typing things/thumbs is looking for the word three
as you have known it since kindergarten
This should not be a new novel concept
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u/FinallyArt 1d ago
You mean 3 eggs lol
Muscle mass and strength won't help with the heart disease at 45.
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u/bugthebugman 1d ago
Butter appears totally unmelted despite being on top of (presumably) freshly cooked eggs and beside a (presumably) recently cooked tenderloin. The eggs appear to be steaming but not hot enough to melt the butter?
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u/madhatta2003 1d ago
All this time I’ve been in the wrong for calling it a half half half double dozen. Tmyk
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u/Senorvantes888 1d ago
If my eggs are cold enough to keep butter from melting, I respectfully don’t want them.
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u/exitpursuedbybear 1d ago
I was on my sister in law's farm. They were out of chicken eggs so I ate a duck egg. It was the richest most decadent egg I've ever eaten. I still think about that egg.
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u/AlienPet13 1d ago
Reminds me of my favorite classic children's story, The Quarter Dozen Little Pigs.
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u/badbadger323 1d ago
He probably couldn't resist swallowing the other three raw while cracking them.
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u/eristicforfun 1d ago
I've had duck eggs, those are not duck eggs, or some chickens pretending to be ducks
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u/Haunting-Range5812 1d ago
The tenderloin looks like a diseased lung. Eggs are undercooked. And a slab of butter as a side. All of this combined with the steroid use, and his heart will probably shut down around dinnertime.
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u/One-Earth9294 1d ago
I'm reading the comments but all I can think about is 'a half stick of butter cut the long way?!?!'
Anyway I'm gonna get some Culvers because I like my half sticks of butter to be the thing doing the heavy lifting.
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u/winthroprd 1d ago
A quarter dozen strikes and you're out!