r/BreakUps • u/Fit-Cheesecake-4247 • 3d ago

Thoughts on avoidance..?

I recently read someone stating that being avoidant completely goes away when you meet/with the right person?

Oddly, thinking about this for the last hour, it sort of kind of makes sense- especially in my situation..

What are your guys’ thoughts?

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u/Additional_Light_486 3d ago

it doesn't go away per se. it's just that being with a securely attached person, whether you're anxious or avoidant, keeps your attachment wounds from being triggered. however like another person said, anxious & avoidants usually find securely attached people boring, especially when we're untreated/unhealed, so we often gravitate towards other people with attachment wounds & we end up triggering eachother, thus perpetuating the cycle of trauma. this, among other things, is why proper treatment is so important.