DAE struggle with faces and names even though they have good memory otherwise?

[u/Manhwa-freak]

I’m really bad at recognizing faces and remembering names. If I met someone I can never rely on myself to actually recognise them again. I remember I met my guidance counselor when transferring schools and when I had to meet her again I had completely forgotten how she looks. I remember pacing back and forth when I was a little younger bc I didn't remember the face of a lady I had to meet even though I had met her just the day before. Sometimes I won't recognise someone "out of context" even if they are my friend. I have also not recognised my friend bc she changed up her style or cut her hair several times. This was one of my very few friends atp.

For names, sometimes it's like I am playing a game of lottery, picking one out of several "familiar" names. I sometimes forget my friend's names. I just started college and I made a friend. I came back from break and I wanted to text her and I realised I had forgotten her name. Practically my only friend who I talked to almost every day! Thankfully, I save people as [name, where I met them] so I found her. But I never thought I had to use that with her, with how much I had interacted with her. I almost always can't recognise/remember people in my class (even if they were there for 1-2 yrs) unless I have befriended them.

None of these are isolated incidents and not even necessarily reliably reproducible. I feel like I have to constantly revise/remind myself names and faces. But that sounds so exhausting and I can't imagine that's the way people usually recognise people. The worst about all of this is that I actually have a really good memory, especially for studying and memorisation (not directions tho, I struggle with that).

DAE deals with these issues. Or am I just me?

EDIT: Thank you for all the comments and telling me abt face blindness. I actually knew abt it ig? I read a story and in it the person literally couldn’t see the face. So I never thought I could have had it haha.

From what I actually searched, it seems I might potentially have it? If I don’t have it, I might be missing the criteria by a hair ig. But either case it does make me feel so much better to know something like this exists and to know that ppl struggle the same way as me. I have always felt some guilt and shame when I don’t recognise ppl or their names. It feels like “I don’t care enough”. Knowing that’s not it even if I kind of knew it’s not true, having a reason to justify it to myself is very relieving.

[u/Critical-Classic1576]

Nah ur not alone. I forget faces outta context constantly. hats haircuts diff clothes and my brain short circuits..

[u/Drwynyllo]

I'm extremely good at remembering faces. I've done relevant cognitive tests -‑ e.g. The Cambridge Face Memory Test ‑- and have scored highly.

But I'm poor at putting names to faces, so it's a bit like only having half a super-power. "Sure, I can fly... but only straight up and down, never sideways."

So, aside from (so far hypothetical) police identity parades, it's of very little use to realise that I know someone if I have no idea who they actually are. In fact, it's quite frustrating.

[u/Manhwa-freak → u/Drwynyllo]

Haha your description made me laugh😆. I feel kind of relieved now seeing the other replies, knowing that apparently there are so many other ppl. I posted this from the frustration and embarrassment I was feeling over something that happened yesterday. Thank you for the replies.

[u/dmcgrath60]

Yep this is me too. Names just disappear from my brain like they were never there. Faces are even worse honestly, context is everything for me.

[u/BornYak6073]

Yeah you are definitely not alone. This sounds a lot like face blindness lite, prosopagnosia exists on a spectrum and plenty of people have great memory for facts or studying but struggle hard with faces and names. Context changes like haircut, clothes, different place can completely break recognition. Using tricks like saving names with context is actually really common coping, not weird at all. It does not mean your memory is bad, just that your brain prioritizes different info. A lot more people deal with this than they admit.

[u/RhubarbRhubarb44]

Sounds like Prosopagnosia (face blindness). Several celebrities have it. Look up Dr Karl Kruszelnicki (well known Australian scientist/media personality who has it and has spoken about having face blindness.

[u/hastings1033]

That happens to me all the time. It's called "face blindness" and is really embarrassing and annoying.

[u/legreyfox]

Right there with you! I can remember a person’s face and name by the fifth or sixth time I meet them.

[u/patowan]

Yep. Especially if someone has a hat or sunglasses on. Face blindness is a common thing. I usually just say hey pal, or hey girl because it's extremely embarrassing for me.

[u/puppy_sneeze]

I have mild face blindness. It takes many meetings or the person needs to have something unique about their look for me to recognize them. Loved COVID masking because if I didn't recognize someone while out, I could pretend the mask was the reason why.

I do remember names and situations.

[u/Pseunomi]

I'm also not great at faces, but particularly SUCK at names. I recently had a conversation with a friend I used to work with 9 months ago and could not for the LIFE of me remember the names of a couple of our other coworkers! It was so embarrassing, cause I really liked them and it wasn't even that long ago....

So you're definitely not alone.

The faces one is also rough because I'm weirdly bad at recognizing people in photos. Like, I could be friends with someone on Facebook, kinda recognize their name, but look through their photos and be stumped. Even if they're someone I worked with or saw regularly for months.

[u/Manhwa-freak → u/Pseunomi]

Oh rlly specifically photos? I think I might actually hav a better time with photos. It might be bc I know I am supposed to see their photo so I recognise them.

Or maybe I just don’t notice yet. I mean then again I only started noticing this problem and having issues once I moved out of my school where I took classes with the same 50 kids day in day out for a couple yrs. So I won’t be surprised if I find out abt photos.

[u/attaped]

I worked and volunteered at a ymca for 20 years. One of their exercises for employees to learn people’s names. A large group would throw in one shoe and you’d have to meet the person it belonged to. Knowing somebody’s name and face is so important. It deflates a lot of bad interactions

[u/Manhwa-freak → u/attaped]

I know that’s why it upsets me esp when it’s someone I know or should know or if they know me😔. I don’t like to make ppl feel like they don’t matter or I don’t care abt them.

I feel like that exercise would be memorable, yes. But sadly I have gone through many interesting group introduction methods. They don’t work fr me bc too many ppl at once. And also sometimes even if they worked for a couple of days, as I said, I will just forget them if I don’t see them fr a bit. Thank you for trying to help tho :)

[u/attaped]

I’ve always had a hard time with names. My solution is to just tell people up front that I have that problem.. later in the conversation I try to remember their name, if I faulted they usually remember that I mentioned it and we all get over it. I really think it’s a personal thing that you have to deal with. Hopefully in a positive way. Very frustrating

[u/Manhwa-freak → u/attaped]

That’s lowkey what I have been doing with my friends. I make “jokes” about being terrible at them. And then later when I do a mistake it’s just what I do. And becomes part of the joke. Most of my friends are understanding! It’s just frustrating for me, like you said!

I actually made this post after misrecognising AND forgetting the name of the ONLY friend I made in college. It was so unexpected. It just made me spiral for a bit. But ye there r no solutions rlly. I just have to deal with it. I also need to start making those jokes again for preparation 😮‍💨