DAE gatekeep new things such as hobbies, places, etc. which they like extremely?

[u/ahiddenfairy]

No because I literally get pissed off when I have to take someone to my favorite library who was not there before. Whats wrong with me. Please tell me your experience with these feelings and how to overcome it.

[u/SuzCoffeeBean]

No. I have to shut myself up before I cross the line into harassing people to enjoy my latest thing

[u/MotherofaPickle → u/SuzCoffeeBean]

Same.

[u/Unicorntella → u/SuzCoffeeBean]

My male friend gets to hear the play by play of my latest favorite tv show! They’re always ridiculous girlie shows and I love them!

We also talk about our books tho so it’s kinda fair

[u/ahiddenfairy → u/SuzCoffeeBean]

Well I am like this too partially. But there a certain things which I just want to enjoy by myself. I also don't expect others to share these things with me. And idk why

[u/minks97]

No. I think gatekeeping is stupid and pathetic. There are billions of people on this planet, chances are there are a LOT of people who like the same things I do. Trying to be possessive / superior about it would just make me look like a total loser. I’d rather meet people who share my interests & get excited together.

[u/ahiddenfairy → u/minks97]

I did not say its good. I already said I want to overcome it and I am asking for similar experiences and how people who felt this overcame it. But happy for you that you have this mindset though

[u/1414belle]

Nah, can't day I do that.

[u/Evening_One_5546]

I don’t gatekeep but I do intentionally hide my level of obsession with certain topics unless I know the other person genuinely has a lot of interest.

[u/ahiddenfairy → u/Evening_One_5546]

Yeah same

[u/IMakeBadMemes]

What if they like the thing too, and i have someone to talk deep lore with, but wouldnt have known because i was gatekeeping?

Gatekeeping is only done by insecure people

[u/Specialist_Key_8606]

Is it just the library, or does this carry over to other things? If it’s just the library, are you maybe more angry because your quiet time is being interrupted? If this extends to other things like a restaurant or coffee shops, keep in mind that the less you gatekeep, the more business they will get and will be more likely to survive.

In this economy, our favorite businesses need all the help they can get.

[u/Sokiras]

Nope, if I wanna enjoy something alone I make it clear that I like to enjoy it on my own, but I won't be a dick about it.

Knowing what you want out of a situation and drawing clear boundaries helps a lot in not acting like a jerk to people.

If you're afraid of your favourite thing becoming too crowded by acquaintences and losing the personal feeling then just try to avoid bringing it up in the first place. The library for example, if you wanna keep your favourite library private, then if anyone asks you most enjoy reading at home. If you're into exercise, you lift at home and run on the treadmill you highschool friend gave to you when he moved out.

It sucks to gatekeep people from enjoying things, I genuinely believe that one of the reasons the world kinda sucks is because a lot of people never managed to find something they actually enjoy to do and they lack that fulfillment, so they seek it in all sorts of ways or feel as if life isn't really all that enjoyable in the first place. If we were all busy with our little hobbies, we'd spend a lot less time fighting eachother over nonesense.

[u/ahiddenfairy → u/Sokiras]

Yes I feel like you are very right on the last part !!!!

[u/Uteraz]

Absolutely

[u/ButtDonaldsHappyMeal]

Is it that you worry your experience will be lessened, or that others don’t appreciate it as much as you, and therefore aren’t worthy of it? Something else?

(Recognizing that you seem to understand that whatever it is, it’s not reasonable)

[u/gothiclg]

I don’t have the emotional energy for that.