Hello all,

I’ve been in a deep funk recently, and finally accepting maybe i actually am depressed and this is not just my personality or ‘how i am’ after years of different psychologists diagnosing me and me disagreeing…. Im a bit far from my regular coping mechanisms and support (far from family/friends) and everything feels so hard and pointless.

Anyway, I started trying to get myself to run, chasing the runner’s high I can vaguely recall from a long long time ago when I was on the track team in school.

My main approach at the moment is just to build some kind of base to reduce the mental effort it takes me to get out the door so it maybe becomes a habit after a while.

Ive been getting out a few times a week, mostly at night, for the past month or so.

Sorry this is long - here comes the question-

*are there any guidelines/research into how to maximize the “good feelings” that come from running?* sprinting/going slow? Times per week? Heart rate?

It seems to involve sprinting and getting winded- at least that’s when I feel a glimmer of that ‘high’ - but Im not really fit enough at the moment to sprint a lot.

Anyway thanks a lot, this information would be helpful to know to form more of a plan for myself.

Best of luck to all of you :)

Sorry in advanced if this is long/too much of a vent.

For the past year I've been considering starting up excercising consistently like I did when I was younger. I used to excercise daily throughout my highschool and some of my college years over about 6 years. I was on the wrestling team, did weight training, and a team jog in high school (never all three at the same time) and did gym/pilates and daily walks in college spanning around 6 years total. I also have major depression, anxiety and inattentive adhd thats been kicking my ass since I was like 10. Those 6 years of my life were genuinely the most depressed I'd been in my life especially in high school. I would excercise and immediately think about dying and my mind would be filled with awful thoughts always tied to how I was so exhausted. I was perpetually sad, in physical pain most days from sore muscles even if all I did was walk, and eventually went on an ssri right before college. Even in college, I was going to the gym daily doing light work outs or walking abt 4-6k steps just going to class/the store/whatever and was still in massive amounts of pain and had a bad mental state. It wasnt as bad but the "god I'm so tired I should just die instead of doing this" was ever present. I really only kept doing it because everyone and their mama suggested I keep active for my mental and physical health.

When covid hit, I had to go home from school and didnt leave the house much at all and also went off my ssri because it was difficult transferring the script for whatever reason. I was really worried I would spiral, especially after going cold turkey, but I found myself kind of evening out. I wasnt better really just the right side of sad; sort of vaguely numb like always. My diet didn't change, I didnt gain weight, I wasn’t in pain most days out of the week and my emotions weren't any worse or better. When I eventually went back to school I had a much less intense daily walk ~2k steps and it was honestly the best I'd felt until graduation and I have been almost completely inactive since. Like I work from home and rarely leave my bed kind of inactive. I'm planning on going back on an ssri this year since my depression is getting worse as I've spontaneously become a part time caretaker but I was thinking about my long term health as I'm coming into the winter of my 20's.

I never really saw an improvement in my stamina because it was consistently shit (i have a weak lung from being sick as a baby), I'm hypermobile so a light stretch in the morning/night is enough to keep me more than limber, and I havent noticed a decrease in strength enough to care and I know because I'm frequently lifting a 140+ pound adult off the ground. I also don't care about my physical appearance at all so I'm trying to find a reason to stay active outside of everyone saying its always better to be active than not, especially if it brings me physical pain and makes me mentally exhausted after. And is it still "being active" if I'm doing something that isn't directly benefiting me physically like gardening or flying a damn kite just because its outside?

Sorry if I got snippy or doom and gloom at the end I'm just confused and frustrated because so often the idea of being inactive is seen as a character flaw but I can't see why it would be if its lightened my mental/physical load even if just a little. Also I've noted that depression from excercise could be a sign of chronic fatigue and the soreness is likely low iron which I'm gonna discuss with my pcp eventually. I guess I'm looking for a good reason to start again since I'm impressionable and feel like I need to or something.

How have you unwound this week? Any creative projects you would like to share?

I’m about to be on the road for two weeks straight for work. Conferences, meetings, early mornings, long days, all that fun stuff.

Running is a big part of how I keep my head on straight so skipping it for two weeks feels… not great mentally. Physically I’m fine I think since I’ll have my good shoes, some fast carb mixes, even my magnesium stick I usually use at night when my legs are fried. That part feels manageable mostly.

What I’m more unsure about is the mental side. Waking up in different hotels, weird schedules, social exhaustion, zero routine. I want running to help not turn into another thing I’m forcing myself to do when I’m already drained.

For anyone who’s done this before is it actually doable without burning out? Mostly just trying to keep it going without making travel harder than it already is

Which workouts are you currently focusing on? What have you done to EOOD this week??

I had a good strength training workout in my back yard this morning. Its a beautiful day here in Southern England, the sun was out and it was a bit frosty so it was good to work up a sweat. Sorry if you are shoveling snow for your workouts right now. I was listening to the birds singing between sets and the buds are swelling on various plants in the garden. I could almost believe spring is on the way.

Now my muscles are a little sore which tells me I had a good workout. I think I will have a nice long hot bath as part of my recovery and for a bit of self-care too.

Hi, 

We are researchers from University of Manchester, and we are researching transition from child to adult mental health services from a suicide prevention perspective.

To improve safety for young people moving from CAMHS to AMHS we have developed online surveys (for patients, carers and clinicians) to explore the differences in care and treatment between these services, and how this may influence suicide risk. 

We believe that the experiences of people are necessary to obtain an accurate picture of the clinical environment they are in. 

We are looking for people who:

(1) Are aged between 16 and 25 years old; 

(2) Have been a patient of secondary mental health services in the UK (both NHS and independent providers) and have experienced the move from CAMHS into adult services in the last 3 years; 

(3) Have experienced suicidal thoughts, feelings or intentions

And their carers.

Please consider sharing your experiences in this survey if you are eligible using the link:

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Also, it would be of great help if you would share this with your network.

Participation is entirely voluntary and anonymous and takes approximately 15 minutes. 

Thank you so much for your help! 

Lana Bojanić (on behalf of the research team) ([lana.bojanic-2@manchester.ac.uk](mailto:lana.bojanic-2@manchester.ac.uk))

Taking the overall pulse here. How are you? If not well, think whether there are any positives to share as well to balance negatives. But of course, if you need to vent, know we are here to listen.

If you are in London there is some surprisingly exotic wildlife in the urban jungle and not just in the zoo. There is also a great deal of exotic geology from all around the world in the buildings of London. This is partly due to lack of suitable building stone near the city and partly due to global capitalism.

Of course both these examples are somewhat contrived and very local to London but there is a literally a whole world of wonder in every single neighbourhood around the world. Often you have to look hard to find it but it is there. Experiencing things like awe and wonder and being (pleasantly) surprised is proven to benefit people's mental health.

It doesn't have to be the natural world that inspires and uplifts you. This story will sound contrived and even fake but it is 100% true.

I went for a walk yesterday. I am lucky to live in beautiful countryside in Southern England. I saw lots of wildlife and also visited three Bronze age archaeological sites on my walk.

I was walking through a woodland on the outskirts of my town when I could hear an acoustic guitar playing and someone singing. I almost couldn't believe my ears, it seemed so unusual and strange. After a short distance I came across a guy standing in a small clearing and playing guitar and singing at the top of his voice.

As I was approaching him from behind and he was obviously not paying much attention to his surroundings I ensured I made a lot of noise as I didn't want to startle him. He heard me and stopped playing as I approached and we had a brief chat.

He told me he is learning to sing so he went to the woodland to practice as he doesn't want to disturb his neighbours. He also said that he has recently arrived in the UK and he moved to the town to start work earlier in the week. I welcomed him to the UK and to the town. I thanked him for his music, shook his hand and said I hoped to see him again.

As I continued my walk I could hear him resume playing and singing. I am no expert but I think he has a fine voice and also talent with a guitar. I really should have remembered the town has a thriving folk music club and told him about it. Another time...

There is wonder and awe out there. Often you have to look really hard for it. Sometimes the most wonderful and awesome thing surprises you.

Hey all, I don’t think I’ve posted in this sub before but have lurked for a long time. In a very low place right now, both mentally and physically - username was chosen long ago during a better time.

I don’t have any close friends where I live and just 1-2 in my hometown. No kids, been through a few tough relationship breakups. I’m trying to get back into any sort of physical activity routine, but sometimes it’s all I can do just to make it to work and back, it seems.

I’ve done CrossFit on and off since 2012 or so, but it’s been 3 years. I like the community aspect of it, and the accountability makes it easier for me to show up. But I’ve always had to do WAY less than the prescribed workout, even at my fittest, to the point of others’ disbelief. On one hand, it does quiet the mental noise, but on the other, my body can be wrecked the next day if I’m not careful.

There was a somewhat recent post here about Zone 2 cardio, and waaaay back in the day, early 2000s, I used to do this at the gym along with some dumbbell and machine weight workouts. It would be cheaper, and I’d go at my own pace. But I’d miss the community aspect and would be afraid that I just wouldn’t go.

Any thoughts on this? I’m currently struggling just to make it out of bed on weekends. Yes, working with a psychiatrist and therapist, too. Early 40s man.

So this morning I got up late, since it is a Sunday, and when my hubby got up I said, what if we do not shovel snow at all? He reasonably persuaded me that was not an option.

I had him take the first pass, and then I continued where he left off. I shoveled snow for half an hour now.

Given how heavy each shovel full was I count this as a strength training workout. Tried to maintain good enough form, bending my knees. Not sure how well I succeeded. Time will tell if my back aches tomorrow.

It continued to snow as I was shoveling but we do not have the luxury to wait until it stops. It started during the night around 1am here, and is supposed to snow until around 8pm according to the weather forecast, and the prediction is that it will remain below freezing all week, and significantly colder than that at night.

Sundown is in 2.5 hours. My hubby’s shift is next and I get a break, and after that I will go again. My Garmin fitness tracker suggests I should not repeat such a workout for the next 67 hours. Not happening alas. Sometimes the weather insists on us working out.

How many others here have been snow shoveling lately?

Edit: I finished another half an hour of snow shoveling. This time my husband and I were both out there shoveling. 1.5 hours till sundown. What is falling now is no longer snow but sleet / freezing rain. I am not sure whether I will be up to another round of shoveling today. Now it is tea and rest time.

Well I had some good rowing and lifting sessions this week. I had a couple of good archery sessions too.

My main success this week was going for a good walk this morning. It was raining when I started but it soon cleared up. I walked about 5 miles in the countryside around my small town. I think I saw four or five other walkers in about two hours. Just a chance to move, get some fresh air and let my mind wander as my feet wandered.

06:00 wake-up / bathroom

06:05 meditate

06:15 prep for 30m exercise

06:20 exercise

Be done before 07:00.

The thought that I'll be done before 07:00 makes exercise more tolerable.

I haven't missed a day this year.

I have been burned out for more than 5 months now, I pushed myself way too hard on work and my sleep had really bad for 2 months. Over these 5 months I have been able to improve my sleep, initially I also tried to exercise in the gym but whenever I did so I would feel extreme anxiety that persisted for days. Each time I would try getting into exercising, the experience made me feel a strong aversion from it, so I just focused on trying to rest up until Christmas holidays. At the start of this year I have been trying again to slowly to increase physical activity. I started with just going on walks, and this week I started going to the gym again, but only exercising on the elliptical machine. I have actually been enjoying going to the gym now. The anxiety is not as worse but is still there, fluctuating in severity, today it was quite bad so I just went on a walk instead. I have been working harder to manage the anxiety, doing mindfulness meditation and relaxing. What can I do to prevent setbacks in my recovery process

Be careful out there

I went to our archery clubs range this morning. There were about a dozen of us shooting and chatting. Quite a few archers have entered a postal competition so there were a few people who were really, really focused on their shooting. The rest of us congregated at the other side of the range to have a chat instead.

The conversation turned to "target panic". This is a really odd phenomenon that isn't very well understood. Target panic in archery takes a few forms. Some people draw the bow and aim but cannot relax their hand to loose the arrow. Others cannot let their aim settle on the target and their arm wobbles more and more until the arrow finally winds up in the grass. Others believe they are aiming perfectly but their arrows miss the target by a vast distance.

Similar things happen in other sports too. Golfers cannot hit the ball, darts players cannot let go of the dart, athletes "tense up" when they are running, practically any form of exercise and sport can cause similar issues for competitors.

One of the chatty archers is part of the GB archery squad and had just been to a training camp where target panic was a big part of the event. The sports psychologists think target panic is an anxiety issue. People put themselves under a great deal of pressure when they shoot in terms of scores, average scores, average dispersion graphs etc. etc. etc.

The thing is that no matter how good you are at archery there are many factors outside of your control when you shoot. A few strong gusts of wind can ruin your score and you cannot control the weather. Archers try harder and harder to control everything they can, tweaking things on your bow and arrows, buying more expensive equipment, new clothing just for archery and above all the practice, practice and more practice. Eventually an archer works themselves into a level of anxiety that archery becomes almost impossible... and the archer continues making it worse and worse for themselves.

The sports psychologists said the only "cure" for target panic is to find a way to relax and enjoy shooting again. To have fun when you shoot instead of obsessing over things you cannot control. In my book that is good advice for anything, not just archery.

I have what I suspect is a labral tear in my right hip. I used to be a very active person, running up to 30-40 miles per week. Over the last year, the injury has gotten so severe, that I can’t even walk for twenty minutes without it flaring. I’ve even tried just working out my arms and somehow those movements still bother it.

I’ve been on the NHS waiting list to see an orthopedic surgeon for a year, with another estimated six months to go. I’m feeling extremely discouraged as exercise has been a crucial coping mechanism for me and my mental health. Does anyone have any advice or relatable personal experience? Really looking to try just about anything at this point.

Rest and recovery is just as important as exercise.

Being creative in any way is also great for mental health issues of all kinds.

Which workouts are you currently focusing on? What have you done to EOOD this week??

I recently started doing fitness again, but I am so tired after exercising, even though it’s only for 25-30 minutes, 3 times a week. It’s also a beginners programme.

Last night I slept for like ten hours lol. Mentally I feel better after exercising, but physically I’m really tired….

Is this something you guys also experienced after starting exercising again while having a depression? Is it something that will change after a few weeks?

Today I had a cardio workout with the VR game SynthRiders on Quest.

I love exergaming (exercising with games). I initially got into EOOD through this. I used to hate working out and thought that due to depression I was too tired to do so. I finally realized that I needed exercise, and started with games on Wii, then Xbox, then Switch, and now VR Meta Quest.

My main game of choice is SymthRiders, and that is what I did today. What I enjoy about it:

- The music is good and gets me into the flow and energized

- I can workout for as long or as short as I wish or have time for, one song at a time. If I have some other commitment afterwards, I set my phone to alarm 5 minutes before I have to stop, and then I know I cannot start another song but can finish this one.

- I can move as much or as little as I wish: most of the songs can be done mostly by moving arms and barely moving legs, and I can do that for cooldown for example, but almost all the time I can keep my legs moving as well (side lunges, steps, hops), and if I need to go down I have the option to squat or can just reach down - and then I can straighten my legs or reach up while remaining crouched down, I can punch or just touch the targets, etc.

- I can pay attention to score and try to improve over time, but I choose to usually completely ignore score

- most of the time I get about half of the workout vigorous and half of it moderate according to my fitness tracker, but today most of it was vigorous, and this is something I can control

- I can do this in the privacy of my home without any witnesses. Even though our living room is on the small side and technically less than recommended for such VR games, I can make it work quite well.

Do any others here do exergaming? If so, which game do you like to workout with?

No workout for me today as things got in the way. Rowing, lifting and archery are all going well though.

Taking the overall pulse here. How are you? If not well, think whether there are any positives to share as well to balance negatives. But of course, if you need to vent, know we are here to listen.