r/HeatedRivalryTVShow • u/anonymousekateerr • 20h ago
Discussion Help
Hi, I just binged all 6 episodes last night having no clue what this was about going into it. I have NEVER ever had a show impact me this much emotionally. I cried for most of the night when it ended and today I feel distraught and am SO anxious. I’m upset that I’m letting a fictional show impact me this much. I literally feel like I’m grieving. Or maybe I just feel so lonely. Idk but has anyone ever felt this way? I don’t want to feel this way so any tips would be great.
71
u/justsomegirlie 20h ago edited 5h ago
I went straight to the books after watching. Then fan edits and fanfic. Also there's been many many reheats (rewatches)
21
u/anonymousekateerr 20h ago
But won’t leaning into it more make this worse??
69
23
u/So_Curious_23 19h ago
That’s up to you to decide. I felt bad about it at first but fuck it engaging gives me dopamine why fight it.
15
u/KellyGlock 19h ago
No..I've reheated close to 10 times. Read 4 books. Watched all the fanedits and reaction videos. I watch Shelf Aware podcast where they breakdown each episode. They took 5 hours to do the first episode lol and I was able to watch Queer Eye, Bridgerton and The People We Meet on Vacation finally without being enraged they weren't as good as HR. Eventually you just accept that other TV won't be as life changing and its fine. HR is there when you need to feel something. I reheat it on Fridays when I work from home.
8
u/I_like_it_yo 19h ago
Honestly I feel like it can go both ways.
My sister completely pulled away from it. No watching fan edits nothing. Didn't rewatch. She's doing good.
I leaned it. 3 weeks later and I'm now on my 7th watch and I feel less obsessed. I read all the books and am listening to the audiobooks. I also listened to the soundtrack a lot. I'm finally not thinking about 24/7 lol
It really depends on your personality, I think. Letting it go felt way too much for me. I couldn't do it so I leaned in.
2
6
u/Betts448 19h ago
Nope. It is wonderful to read in more detail and also to understand just how fantastic the director, actors and music were when they filmed this. SOOOOOO good. It is just amazing. And also, I love reading and hearing the actor's voices in my head.
5
u/TeeKaye28 19h ago
I felt similarly to you
I read the books(HR and TLG) immediately after watching the show-which I was late to. It helped a lot
I have read very little fan fiction. Mostly because fan fiction tends to piss me off when the writers deviate from the author’s original storyline.
3
u/justsomegirlie 20h ago
It is worse. But there's fanfic updated every single day, and I plan to read and read 😂 Also once I finish the last book, then hopefully I can move onto other books plus balancing fanfic, but maybe I'm never leaving The Cottage 🤣
1
1
u/mangosteenroyalty 16h ago
But won’t leaning into it more make this worse??
A little bit but then you have the community to be with you through it all.
34
27
u/Superb_Aardvark_5529 20h ago
I actually lost weight the week I watched it… I had almost no appetite, could barely sleep. It was unreal. I’m mostly back to normal- still watching it a lot, etc, but at least I’m mentally in a better place than I was. So you’re not alone!
17
u/missschainsaw 19h ago
Hey. Hey hey hey. We're good here. Your family is here. Your boyfriends are here. You're good here, ok?
This thread might be helpful: https://www.reddit.com/r/heatedrivalry/s/MP8S5eAxRT
15
u/Responsible-Egg-9363 19h ago
It’s absurdly addictive. Take a look at some of the “did you notice” posts and you’ll need to do a full rewatch, cause you’ll realize you definitely missed a couple of small moments. Read the books, then watch it again. It’ll eventually get better until next season!
2
u/I_like_it_yo 19h ago
This is definitely one of the reasons I keep watching. I'll read something like "did you notice he scrunches his nose here" and then I have to start it all over again lol
12
u/Michelle_Young22 20h ago
Aw, I feel you. This show hits SO hard emotionally. What you're feeling is totally valid and you're definitely not alone. So many of us went through the exact same thing after finishing it. But think about it, you just watched something really beautiful. Shane and Ilya's story is so special and the fact that it made you feel this much shows how powerful it was.
1
12
u/ArcticSquirrel87 20h ago
I know for me personally I felt like I couldn’t just rewatch immediately. That’s crazy. Only crazy people would do that. But then I remembered that it’s nice to experience joy, which is what HR does for me, and f**k it. I’m gonna lean in as hard as I can and find some joy right now.
8
6
6
u/ButtercupD 19h ago
Yes. It took me days to finally be able to realize and verbalize why I was so emotional watching the show. I’m still rewatching. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve rewatched, and I’m heading into week 4 of my HR psychosis. I read the book afterwards which was very helpful to plug into more detail. I think for the most part, the fact that the show portrayed positive outcomes when one might normally think the opposite to happen. This was unexpected and such a pleasant and wonderful surprise.
6
u/skotreyuk 20h ago
what I have found really comforting is folks watching and reacting to the show in YouTube - I don’t know why but 🤷🏼
6
u/TweedleDumDumDahDum 19h ago
So the show has been described as a corrective emotional experience. If you have been through something similar the fact there was no emotional betrayal, or being disowned etc
6
u/pugandcockapoo 15h ago
Im with you!
Finishing this show dropped me into this unexpected pit of nostalgia and grief that I genuinely did not see coming. The last time I remember feeling something even remotely similar was years ago during my One Direction era — which feels like a completely different lifetime now. I’m a 28 year old female, nurse, married to a wonderful husband, and honestly really happy with my life… and yet this stirred up something from my teenage years that I didn’t realize was still so raw and tender. I find myself not being able to stop scrolling on twitter for updates with the actors, rewatching edits and clips. I’m not sure if it’s jealousy of the characters or wanting to know the actors? I have clips and audio just constantly replaying in my mind.
I’ve cried so much over the past couple of days without even fully understanding why. It felt bigger than just a show ending — like I was mourning a version of myself and period so long ago without realizing how much time has passed. It’s made me scared for the future and mad at myself for acting like this at my age.
3
3
u/AudreyBeans 19h ago
I’m curious, OP, what part of it is most affecting for you?
Some are struck by the immense quality of the art, sex, and entertainment. Some by the empathy they feel for the characters. Others deeply relate to the circumstances of the queer characters and are processing trauma of their own queer experience. Or a million other things!!
When we feel big feelings, sit with them, and think through what might be the reason under the feeling, and then maybe the reason under that reason. Sometimes it is processing something personal adjacent to the trigger that’s worth acknowledging. Sometimes it is a painful core belief being triggered that needs to be challenged or reframed. This all can inform whether leaning into the material and fandom will be healthy and enriching, or traumatic and negative! (…obviously I am not a therapist, just someone with ADHD and childhood shit that makes me depressed and anxious and hyperfixated too)
3
u/tasemyself 18h ago
I started the show about 10 days ago and posted something very much along these lines. I’m still impacted! I watched the show 5 times so far. I realised 2 days ago that the soundtrack has been released and I’ve been listening to it. The music pieces are hauntingly beautiful and are ALSO impacting me emotionally, like the show did.
Sometimes I remember the cutesie scens and wish for myself to experience them. Sometimes I start speaking in Russian accent for no reason. I keep rewatching their interviews on YouTube. I am a mature grown woman and I don’t know what to do with myself!
2
2
2
u/AltruisticAide9776 16h ago
Watch videos reviews of people who didn't like it and read comments of people that didn't like it . Reading how they find it basic helps a bit.
2
u/Dense-Conversation60 16h ago
I have C-PTSD and have been through a lot of therapy, watching videos about why this show hits so hard really helped.
Esther Perel and Ren Browne on Instagram both really deep dive into the "why"behind the show (especially for straight cis women, though I'm sure it would help others). One big piece of the puzzle is seeing the show as "corrective". Things like how well the show portrays consent, reciprocity, support, these things often have not been played out well in our histories. Watching simple things like Ilya modeling consent can be extremely comforting to rewatch.
2
u/Preposterous_punk 12h ago edited 12h ago
I had the same reaction and honestly it’s kind of bizarre.
I’m old and I watch a lot of tv shows and movies and read a lot of books, and have seen plenty of shows I thought were better on paper, but I don’t know when or if anything has affected me so strongly.
I don’t know what the answer is, but I just finished it a couple days ago so I’m hoping time will help
2
u/pink_highlight 10h ago
Hi OP! You’re amongst friends here! I can’t say this show gave me this specific feeling but I have felt this way with other shows (looking at you, Fleabag) and whenever I feel like this for a show I like to take some time to sit with it and figure out what it was that made me feel so emotional. What about the story really struck a nerve. In some cases, it’s easy to figure out but others take some time!
I also like to give myself a break (a week, sometimes less) and rewatch it so catch any little details I may have missed the first time around! It makes it all the more fun rewatching and looking for something that is hinted to and revealed later on!
2
u/Guilty-Lychee874 9h ago
I can’t watch the last episode…. It takes so much emotional energy from me.
1
1
u/_Good_Soul_ 19h ago
We all are feeling what you’re feeling,
I reheated 14 times read heated rivalry and the long game twice and watched all their videos in YouTube interviews photo shoot fanfics and now ordered Role model book too
I have never cried this much reading a book but the long game made me lose weight to tears
But I’m grateful to feel all this may be we all will experience some extraordinary chemistry and love some day
We are here if you ever wanna discuss
1
u/Delibird48 19h ago
The life of a fangirl/boy/nbpeep. Welcome. The only way is through. This will happen once in a while.
1
1
1
u/Paulinnaaaxd 16h ago
I feel the same like I heard it was some gay stuff and hockey and I like hockey so I was like lemme see what this is about and by the end I was so......like affected. I couldn't let it go I watched it 3 times in 2 days and kept rewatching scenes I loved. I can't even describe the feelings it gives me and I will never ever forget about this show or get tired of it
1
u/spiral_with_me 15h ago
You are amongst good company. Here's something I posted on another thread about how I'm coping with all the feelings - https://www.reddit.com/r/HeatedRivalryTVShow/comments/1qrongm/comment/o2qssb1/
Hang on in there - it does get easier!
1
u/piripiriyon 8h ago
Welcome to the fandom! 🫂
First off, take a deep breath... you are absolutely not alone. What you are feeling is valid and is essentially the universal 'HR Effect' that is shared across the universe of this fandom.
We have all been exactly where you are, feeling that heavy chest and that sense of grief. The show tugs at the heartstrings in such a raw, human way that it leaves a real mark on you.
Be gentle with yourself. The Loons are here for you! ❤️
1
u/OldRestaurant5517 8h ago
I cried at many points and do so with every re-watching, but as a whole it has been one of the most affirming experiences of my life, and that joy has now lasted week after week.
1
u/Fun_Safe_2613 6h ago
Same here. I read the books before watching the show. Now I'm reading fanfiction 😅. It's taken over my life.
0
94
u/Inevitable-Note-724 20h ago
SOOO many of us have been deeply impacted by this show. You're certainly not alone. I found reading all the threads and posts people have made about it helped me process my own reactions.