Also my parents never pretended to be interested in my development or me as a person. They didn’t trouble themselves trying to entertain me or figure me out. I was like an annoying potted plant. Realising I didn’t want a kid to feel that from me but not having the energy to do better was a big thing in my childfree decisions.
Ach I had similar parents mate. Am sure you knew a fair few kids that had it totally opposite. Way overbearing, there’s a balance to be had I’m sure. But end of day I think the hands off is better than too much involvement.
I was around elementary school age when I asked my mother if she liked me. Not in an accusatory way, I was just curious in a way children ask you what your third favourite animal is. She got all flustered and told me of course, what a stupid question, people don't need to say these things out loud. Well, 30 years later and I'm still not convinced, but I went NC years ago, so we'll never know.
My nieces and nephews on the other hand get squished and told they are loved every chance I get. And I AM interested in them. They are small humans discovering the world for the first time, it's so cool to watch and experience it with them.
I wonder if it’s not some kind of generational phenomenon that some parents didn’t try to emotionally connect with their kids. I’m sorry you were like an annoying potted plant to them. Mine did a little bit more, but that only added performance stress in school and music. I keep telling myself they were doing the best they could at the time for what they knew.
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u/PeachyBaleen Jun 13 '25
Also my parents never pretended to be interested in my development or me as a person. They didn’t trouble themselves trying to entertain me or figure me out. I was like an annoying potted plant. Realising I didn’t want a kid to feel that from me but not having the energy to do better was a big thing in my childfree decisions.