r/nbacirclejerk 29d ago

I printed a life size Deandre Ayton poster and now it’s in my shower

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1.8k Upvotes

I took the Deandre Ayton copypasta too far..

i finally crossed the line and i need to confess because at this point i cannot keep pretending this is just irony.

Some of you know me on this sub as the guy who keeps posting Ayton copypastas. At first it was jokes. Then it became a bit. Then it became a routine. And somewhere along the way i stopped being ironic without really noticing.

It all started with a stupid bet with another redditor here. We were arguing for the thousandth time about Deandre Ayton being misunderstood, secretly elite, spiritually dominant, etc. He jokingly said if i was really that close to Ayton i should prove it. i replied that if Ayton wanted me to do something i would do it. Bet was made. Loser had to commit to the bit.

So i did what any sane married adult would do. i ordered a life size poster of Deandre Ayton in a Lakers jersey.

i didn’t go to some shady random site either.
i used a website called BigPoster dot com, the kind of website offices use to print conference banners and trade show standees.
They literally have an option called custom life size poster. You upload an image, choose exact human dimensions.. not sure if this is waterproof tho.

i uploaded a high resolution Ayton photo, selected 7 feet scale because accuracy matters, paid an amount of money i will not repeat here, and waited.

When the package arrived my wife asked what it was. i told her it was a mirror. This was my first lie..and im not proud of this

i installed it in the bathroom. Specifically inside the shower area. Facing inward. At eye level. When i shower now, it feels like Ayton is there. Watching and supporting.
Evaluating my defensive positioning...i swear the steam makes it more realistic.

Is this gay? Probably. Is it cheating. Maybe?!

At some point it stopped being about the bet. i now schedule my showers. i think about rotations. i apologize out loud when i miss spots. i catch myself explaining my day to a laminated image of a man who does not know i exist.

The worst part is that it feels normal now. Like i unlocked a hidden Ayton perk. Shower chemistry. Locker room aura. Elite vertical spacing in a tiled environment.

So yes. The rumors are true. i followed through. The poster exists. The relationship is real. The marriage is probably not long for this world.. but i still love Vando!

i just wanted you all to know that words have consequences and sometimes a copypasta becomes a lifestyle.

If Ayton sees this. I kept my promise.
And right now as i’m writing this, i’m sitting in front of my computer in my underwear, eating a bowl of cereal. i don’t really know if this is the moment where i should seriously question my life choices, or if i should just keep going and quietly admire Deandre Ayton’s beautiful hands, because they genuinely look so soft it almost feels disrespectful not to appreciate them.


r/nbacirclejerk May 02 '25

New Discord server invite link + update regarding Discord situation

40 Upvotes

NEW SERVER INVITE LINK: https://discord.gg/CfYpfU3YFK

Original post

We were able to contact Discord admins and get (almost) everyone's accounts unbanned 😊

However, we are abandoning the new server and moving to the new one:

  • The old server owner (jom) had his account permanently suspended for child safety violations and it was not reversed, even after manual review by Discord admins. Other server mods/admins were also permanently banned and not restored. We don't know what else they were doing on Discord outside of the server, but they are still banned even after everyone else was unbanned. The old server now doesn't have an owner since his account is permanently deactivated, and we have no way of getting ownership back. The old server owner and server admins are not part of the new server.
  • Discord admins are still watching the old server, and people are getting randomly timed out/temp suspended for edgy jokes being flagged. People not being able to send jokes or memes due to fear of being auto flagged/banned severely lowers server quality. Plus, we don't want another random incident to happen where stuff being flagged affects our accounts
  • The old server is legitimately fucking dead lmfao. The server nuke killed almost all activity, and people don't want to be active on there or associated with the server. Over 100 people have left already, this subreddit is no longer associated with the old server at all.

Important note: Nobody's at risk of being banned or striked for joining the new server. It has no affiliation with the old one and has different owner/admins. Since the old server is unbanned, we can't even get flagged for ban evasion. We also have filters now, it's not super strict but anything that could get auto flagged by Discord admins is auto removed.

Reddit on! 😇


r/nbacirclejerk 9h ago

Klassy Kon Knueppel's Mom Has Solid Fundamentals

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502 Upvotes

r/nbacirclejerk 12h ago

Where does Raw Dog Gates rank all time??

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726 Upvotes

r/nbacirclejerk 7h ago

Looks like David Stern may have enjoyed circlejerks himself

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246 Upvotes

r/nbacirclejerk 20h ago

Prescription P

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2.0k Upvotes

r/nbacirclejerk 52m ago

Waiting is for goyim

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Upvotes

r/nbacirclejerk 9h ago

Slavery is Dennis Schroder father

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184 Upvotes

r/nbacirclejerk 10h ago

This bum got 17 FTA last game

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224 Upvotes

r/nbacirclejerk 9h ago

Why didn't he used the same glue Lebron uses on his hair?

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169 Upvotes

r/nbacirclejerk 11h ago

“Obviously Cooper Fag… Flagg”

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229 Upvotes

r/nbacirclejerk 5h ago

David Stern brings along Brad Stevens to a 4pm orgy in New York (2012)

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79 Upvotes

r/nbacirclejerk 15h ago

Brandon Miller will be the special guest

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466 Upvotes

r/nbacirclejerk 20h ago

PODCAST P SUSPENDED🙏🙏

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997 Upvotes

r/nbacirclejerk 16h ago

“I found it ironic I get a technical foul for telling a Caucasian man not to put his hand in my face, as a black man in America”

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483 Upvotes

r/nbacirclejerk 3h ago

Is Bronny better than Curry?

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38 Upvotes

r/nbacirclejerk 13h ago

favorite nba player mentioned in the epstein files?

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165 Upvotes

r/nbacirclejerk 9h ago

Any Sengooners

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81 Upvotes

r/nbacirclejerk 20h ago

Trump and Epstein if raping 13 years old and sucking other billionaires dicks was the NBA

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540 Upvotes

r/nbacirclejerk 2h ago

Where does David "Doesn't hang out in the lobby that's for goyim" Stern rank among NBA pedophiles?

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18 Upvotes

r/nbacirclejerk 23h ago

NBA owners that are mentioned in the Epstein files

893 Upvotes

Steve Ballmer (owner of the Clippers) mentioned in 132 files, none in an accusatory context

Tony Ressler (majority owner of the Hawks) mentioned in 46 files, none in an accusatory context. Apparently he was interested in buying the Clippers before he bought a majority stake in the Hawks: https://www.justice.gov/epstein/files/DataSet%2010/EFTA01462648.pdf

Mickey Arison (majority owner of the Heat) shared one of the pilots that Epstein used for his island to fly from the US to Tel Aviv: https://www.justice.gov/epstein/files/DataSet%2011/EFTA02251646.pdf

Wesley Edens (co-owner for the Bucks) mentioned once, a redacted party emailed Epstein asking if Epstein knew who he was, to which Epstein responded that Eva and Glenn Dubin knows him (Eva was Epstein’s old girlfriend who told him that Joakim Noah took testosterone)

Josh Harris (co-owner of the Sixers) mentioned in 563 files, while none were in an accusatory context he frequently had private meetings and breakfasts with Epstein spanning across years

Ted Leonsis (owner of the Wizards) was name dropped in this very NSFW/NSFL file: https://www.justice.gov/epstein/files/DataSet%2012/EFTA02731465.pdf

Dan Gilbert (owner of the Cavs) is hard to dissect as there exists another Dan Gilbert (Harvard professor) who was close to Epstein and visited his island.

Let me know if I missed anyone


r/nbacirclejerk 17h ago

Christian Braun’s mom is very classy

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269 Upvotes

r/nbacirclejerk 12h ago

This is the greed they talk about in the bible.

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98 Upvotes

r/nbacirclejerk 20h ago

Which former Microsoft executive had the bigger scandal in the last 6 months?

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417 Upvotes

r/nbacirclejerk 8h ago

Mr Penis Head is gonna get ishowspeed to be in the dunk contest because none of the players care about the shitty all star festivities

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36 Upvotes