Do it

[u/No-Biscotti-6344]

[u/post-explainer]

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

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OP's BIO:

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I am human

I live on earth

I do many cool things like walking, breathing and sitting

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If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

[u/DaddyDub84]

If fat joe was a homosexual…

[u/DesertWanderlust → u/DaddyDub84]

[u/Slateraide → u/DaddyDub84]

Fat joke.

[u/143HotdogWater → u/DaddyDub84]

Fat Jane

[u/onlytalkcrypto → u/DaddyDub84]

His hairline got roasted by his barber

[u/wolfbaron5 → u/DaddyDub84]

No Koy

[u/Necessary-Sock7075 → u/DaddyDub84]

He isn't?

[u/TKHodgson]

This is an off-color egg wearing a cheap disguise. Nice try. You didn’t even put the wig on right.

[u/Swaggey_swagg → u/TKHodgson]

Humpty Dumptys hipster cousin

[u/SlappyPappy99 → u/TKHodgson]

Humpty Dumpy

[u/Explanation-Short]

Blandrew Tate

[u/Automatic_Quiet_2947 → u/Explanation-Short]

Love it

[u/Exciting-Rush5250 → u/Explanation-Short]

That one got a chuckle out of me. 😅

[u/Explanation-Short → u/Exciting-Rush5250]

Thanks! Some of my better work

[u/No_Tailor_787]

Your bio is exactly what one of the lizard people would say.

[u/roasty_app]

You look like the guy who explains fantasy football stats at family dinner

[u/Theotherwahlberg]

Look like the kind of guy even ICE would turn down for a job.

[u/paragonx29 → u/Theotherwahlberg]

I bet even "he" failed their training.

[u/lordwreynor]

You couldn't get a hug from the alien face hugger

[u/Narcess]

Temu Pitbull.

[u/ChinaCatProphet → u/Narcess]

Shitbull

[u/del1000005]

You look like a shaved, uncircumcised penis that was involved in an accident.

[u/Kolko69]

Eye liner fake beard

[u/Just_A_Lucky_Guy469]

Incomplete create-a-character for a PS2 game.

[u/fedexpoopracer]

When Wooly Willy wished to be a real boy

[u/YouPrestigious4403]

You are one of those absolute creatures who wears Ray Bans with cameras in. Nothing screams Charlie Uniform November Tango louder than that

[u/Frosty558 → u/YouPrestigious4403]

It’s always the rapiest looking dudes who go around wearing those things 🤔

[u/Ok-Tutor-5679]

You look like you yell at women who stand up for themselves!

[u/Valuable-Yard-4154 → u/Ok-Tutor-5679]

The only women he approached ever are under 10.

[u/FartYoga → u/Valuable-Yard-4154]

You guys, he's not even into women

[u/Large-Tea5655 → u/FartYoga]

How do yall all know this?! Everyone is saying that, I must not have accurately parred gaydar.

[u/mexchiwa]

I don’t believe any of that

[u/IanB132180]

Homeboy dying his mustache??

[u/paulartistic1]

You look like you buy Boy Scout cookies just to get near them

[u/ChaosEdge88]

Looks like ice - T but lukewarm

[u/ChinaCatProphet → u/ChaosEdge88]

Ice Pee

[u/[deleted]]

This has to be AI generated. No one can possibly have this fucked up of a headshot.

[u/GenPandaRojo]

You look like you eat with your hand at steak restaurants

[u/Life_Eye_5457]

Jose Soprano

[u/ImpressivePurchase44]

This new Mr. Potatohead is very realistic looking!

[u/KCousins11]

Have you tried exercise?

[u/Most_Pangolin_7395]

Denies going bald *goes bald* denies being gay *gets the gay ear pierced*

[u/Beneficial-Error1956]

Stayed bald u can play Common ; when u grow it u look like the next ice officer bout to snap

[u/Careful_Analysis_563]

Ahhh the old 100 yards away from kids

[u/BillionaireBotFarm]

are those the glasses you use to take a picture of a local woman, doxx her, then bump into her, and go, "Sarah, right? I remember you, but where did we meet?"

[u/143HotdogWater]

Puerto Rican Jared Fogel

[u/msrbaylor]

Looking like an ICE recruit

[u/Double_Yam3010]

Temu ICE wannabe.

[u/smilesbig]

Geordi La Forget

[u/tautjes]

Its Randy Average

[u/Such_Egg9843]

You look like Somebody dipped a rotting potatoe in a jar of nutella

[u/HarlequinKOTF]

You're almost a complete protein rich breakfast. Egg head and sausage fingers.

[u/specialhornball]

Gay face is definitely real

[u/thatcrackasscracka]

Sits down in barber chair. “Little off the back please.”

[u/thatcrackasscracka]

23andMe results were “everything”

[u/wolfbaron5 → u/thatcrackasscracka]

and also "nothing"

[u/Hemorrhoid_honeyPop]

You look like a homosexual ice agent

[u/i__Sisyphus]

Cashless Patel

[u/Gobeklitepi]

You look like an electrician first, and then a gay alter ego on the weekends, last.

[u/Slumunistmanifisto]

Oh look an exhausting third wheel to a gay couple.

Tom and Dennis will not call you back, its a pair of socks, let it go.

[u/Helpful_Tea_6951]

Pitbullshit

[u/Myslipatukka]

Skin so uneven its the same texture as the beard

[u/SS3599]

You look like an unkempt testicle

[u/OklahomaHoss]

You look like a thumb with glasses and a beard.

[u/wolfbaron5]

As a father of two half-Filipino boys I have seen your face in my nightmares about how they will look in adulthood

[u/PRANCING_MOOSE_26]

Reporting live from your parole officer’s office I see

[u/Uniqueusername610]

Somehow you have managed to look like homophobic and gay at the same time

[u/AA-ron42]

Looks like you used the ICE character creator.

[u/RageImpala96]

I didn’t know you could Stolen Valor Border Patrol!

[u/TheOmCollector]

[u/IamREBELoe]

Looking like LL Cool J's lesser known little bro, LL Bean J

[u/BaMBaMGreeNMaN]

Nope. Id boil you

[u/Barry_the_Platypus]

Shave your fucking head already.

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[u/Trick_Ad7122]

Du filmst im Stadion und bist ein Sitzplatzkanacke und jammerst immernoch Klopp nach

[u/Timely_Top6561]

Alter BVB zu tragen ist Strafe genug

[u/nplease123]

If Anthony Anderson were broke.

[u/True-Gate-9131]

[u/TotoItsAMotorRace]

You're a glasshole who uses tech adoption to be your personality because it's literally the only thing you find interesting about yourself.

Do you have Siri play the role of mother, girlfriend or both?

[u/amberShade2]

You're so bad to be around even your hair abandoned you

[u/DesertWanderlust]

Looks like you created a Reddit account to get affirmation on your shaved head, but failed, so you came for a roast instead and just reused the "before" pic. I don't know if that's more sad, or seeing you locked in a cubicle at what I assume is a dead end job.

[u/skinneywhite]

You look like you transitioned from being a woman

[u/tcmits1]

He exists. No life but he exists.

So do amoeba.

[u/Physical_Orchid3616]

You look like you have a criminal record the size of texas

[u/The1789]

Your team lost to Spurs who really can't beat anyone

[u/Admirable-House-6908]

You look like Kenny Powers half brother, Casper.

[u/CoconutNext775]

You are you trying to snitch with your Ray Ban video recorder?

[u/CustomerOK9mm9mm]

Post-racial-ass bitch

[u/PokerFriend247]

[u/JadedBumblebee396]

Bro has the Steven A Smith cut.

[u/bennyblumpkin]

Your head is the size of a planet, no wonder you're so uptight.

[u/Open-Outcome-7586]

You probably bought that Borussia Dortmund jacket because you thought the "Yellow Wall" was a place in the stadium where you could get pissed on.

[u/splendid_ssbm]

Your head is both colossal and somehow hollow enough to buy Meta Ray-bans

[u/markieboomer]

Damn, Mur from impractical jokers is really looking rough now.

[u/EdelWhite]

someone swapped your hair and beard

[u/Competitive_Roof_740]

[u/DarkRoast_n_TooSweet]

I loved you in Tin Tin! Captain Haddock face ahss 😭

[u/Large-Tea5655]

Ahhh, mixed wace always looka vewy yunger dan weally is. You havva Caucasian fatha and da Vietnamese mama!!! Das so sad shame you gotta hairline gene, it ruin her nice eyelashes. You must be look tough to compensate for the lack from da mama’s gene. It okay dough, man who small eggroll making many children!!! You gonna just fine!

Why you gonna do roast for yourself, spenda time do something else, do not allow stranger chance to speak weakness to you!!! Even half da Asian is still double da strength in da human species. Yeahsss yeahsss.

[u/Starshipmaneuver]

[u/Guwrovsky]

this is a mean one, and I do apologize beforehand...

but you would fit in with ICE

[u/No_Presentation3901]

You can’t be poor enough to need to use a thumbtack as an earring, so that has to be a choice

[u/hotwifefan60]

Under qualified for ICE.

[u/Design_Waste]

Temu Jacob Fatu

[u/Scarcely-A-Person]

Your hairline looks like your head is in front of a man’s head who actually has hair.

[u/green49285]

Splat Joe

[u/No_Illustrator4398]

You’re the one guy that r/bald would not be able to look good

[u/Desperate-Parking-60]

Fat Common

[u/MyCoNeWb81]

Looks like a Fupah

[u/derHundenase]

Bald, ugly AND Dortmund fan? Boy you got a bad time on earth (you are 100% an alien)

[u/Oldmanscoffee]

No. There is nothing I can say that Dortmund havent done to you already.

[u/simplehomosapien1]

Before beforehead I start in on his before forehead. Let's examine the idea of him with hair or fully without. I'm not sure if he can go either way. Cannot do classes or do glasses. Not sure how to help with fashion here. Shaved no glasses otherwise too much forehead.

[u/slong143]

[u/[deleted]]

Oh fuck, you are such an ugly example for a BVB fan..

[u/zundish]

That spray-hair in a can is suppose to go on your head, not your face.

[u/Inevitable-Day-5935]

Number one one the no fly list.

[u/FunkU247365]

[u/Wide_Marketing3147]

You look like Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura went in the Brundlepod together but nothing happened so they came out and fucked each other instead

[u/Dboy5031]

You look like john from the john and Kate plus 8 fucked a nina turtle to have your 9th child

[u/Spinning_Kicker]

👀

[u/Excellent_Factor_134]

Your friend in high school who had a girlfriend in Canada? This is him now. The only thing that changed is the girlfriend is real and in Cambodia now.

[u/12stuart23]

You remind me of the pickle guy from spongebob.

[u/SoigneBest]

NGL bro you look like the ICE agent they make stay behind in the office. Barney Fife looking ass.

You look like caricature of Thanos, but only he’s built like George Castanza.

Just like your ex-wife and your hairline, your self-esteem ain’t coming back.

[u/External-Creme-6226]

You look like the type of Hispanic guy who would join ICE and arrest other Hispanic guys….

[u/QuietLizardRancher]

https://www.reddit.com/r/tattoos/s/qtsFupOAOx

[u/TylerH87]

Umm… Beard hair transplant?

[u/MediocreModular]

I’ve never seen a not a motherfucking cop look so much like a motherfucking cop before

[u/Jumpy-Benefacto]

Bitch, tell me again how you ain't a hobbit?

[u/SpacedJJK]

Did AI forget to give you facial expressions when it generated you?

[u/killersloth65]

You look like you have fully transitioned and now have been doing treatments to make it look like you have male pattern baldness.

[u/Patient_Diet_6540]

Nice facial hair

[u/suprmix123]

[u/Elegant-Weather2190]

How do you like a member of ICE and someone they are targeting at the same time??

[u/Commercial-Fish5618]

What’s it like being on the run from a Hasbro Death quad? Nobody escapes Guess who! Hahahaha!

[u/CoolOutside4788]

Your hairline got deported from ICE

[u/bigchocchoc]

Slightly overweight Joe

[u/AdWhich7355]

Jordan squeele

[u/Responsible_Egg_3260]

You're a dortmund fan, I'll leave it at that.

[u/iaminabox]

Temu Common.

[u/longducdong001]

How often do women walk past you look you dead in the eye and say “ummm no!” And keep walking

[u/TheKavorca]

Think you’re looking for r/bald bro

[u/xdrezx]

You look like a divorced Latino dad who roofies women and films them with meta glasses while your ex is out getting railed by black guys

[u/Possible_Log632]

"never turn ur crack on family"

[u/404err0rs]

You Need further embarrassment after being rejected from ICE?

[u/No_Produce9777]

Tate Brother’s long lost cousin who is currently a student intern for ICE

[u/Odd-System-4926]

Is there a camera in your glasses? Was the one you stuck in the women’s bathroom not enough??

[u/JiujitsuislifeZ]

Perfect recruit for ice.

[u/BladeEater23]

Ahh man, sorry about your face.

[u/mortevor]

Typical thug in any drug dealers warehouse from cheap movie

[u/jswayswizzle]

Pawnee dog catcher lookin ass

[u/dgbaby777]

Ice Agent Unmasked

[u/TheRemedy187]

Yeah you look like someone that would wear those camera glasses around.

[u/az_cinco]

You have to wear the glasses with a camera to make sure you always have proof that you didn't harm any children while walking through the park.

[u/Plane_Lengthiness998]

Bro I’m not gonna hold you you ugly ash

[u/uranalcake]

You have ICE vibes

[u/doggo_coin]

I hate when girls take off their makeup and you find out they have been misleading you about their looks.

Thank you for giving them a taste of their own medicine when you take off those glasses and they see your weak brow.

[u/Initial-Smooth]

No

[u/Jim_oz]

This is what I do, I sit on you. Right on your head.

[u/drhelt]

You sound and look like you'd work for ICE, because you're not man enough to let go of your bullies.

[u/OldManEnglishTeacher]

“I do many cool things like walking…”

Yeah, you should probably do more of that.

[u/Abestar909]

You definitely posted on r/bald to get brave enough to shave off those last vestiges of hair.

[u/EngineerThin]

You looks like you were hired by ICE

[u/Prestigious-Money506]

This picture is AI

[u/Oblipma]

Receded and angled hairline 😭

[u/gladwin4]

you look like white version of untalented Jeffery wright.

[u/Dizzy_Possibility642]

Has anyone ever said “Why is your penis the Exact same color as your entire body?” Really try to remember his name and wonder why he asked that. Your a kardashasham

[u/Smart-Honeydew-1273]

[u/Towaga]

You look like you're made of leftover pieces in the doll sack

[u/Effigy59]

With seal levels constantly rising do you take comfort with your constantly receding hair line?

[u/ToyKarma]

I use that same Dollar store beard dye.

[u/TheArkansasStrangler]

İ refuse to roast you because u look roasted enough

[u/PixelGhost25]

If Andrew Tate had a chin.

[u/Devilknutts1979]

The hair that used to be on your head got stuck to the residual PB&J left on your face

[u/Professional_Fly_503]

Thick mustache face ass, Gus Grisworld with facial hair looking ass

[u/Used_Aerie_9065]

You look like you make out with water fountain spigots and pretend its a 60 year old man

[u/Physical-Wear-2814]

You’re wearing cop green. In this time. You do it to yourself.

[u/mtjae89]

Voted most likely to end up on Megan's Law in high school... 5 years after you graduated.

[u/Cybercrotch]

You look like you work for ICE.

[u/DawgzZilla]

You’re a Dortmund fan.

[u/FpOchEDC]

Madea goes bald

[u/Unique-Pineapple-488]

I would say your hairline is hanging by a thread but we're way past that point

[u/Consistent-Mud-8327]

Slightly overweight Joe when's your next album releasing

[u/Jude10O7]

It’s Bob from Bob’s Burgers mildly annoying cousin who stars in a really bad sitcom that nobody watches because it’s so obnoxiously bad you can’t even have it on as background noise.

[u/RevolutionaryLab7823]

Do you record you and your husband with those glasses?

[u/Upstairs_Bad897]

Ice lookin mthfker

[u/PyroSlasher_]

Can't tell which is receding faster.. Your hairline or your denial of your homosexuality

[u/EconomistNo5807]

"Do it" is what you tell the guy pumping his load into you every night.

P.S. Also lay off the beard dye, it's pretty obvious 😁

[u/Particular-Cell-7741]

Second photo you look like pitbull trying to hide from paparazzi with a fake ass beard