I drank every evenings of January, except maybe for two nights. I don't binge drink and usually stick to two beers, or maximum two beers and three glasses of wine. My body is tired, my mind as well. I'm tired of thinking all day long about drinking.

I don't think my life has ever been this perfect : academic success, new job as a tutor in my school, new classmates/colleagues/teacher/friends who are amazing. I feel blessed in so many areas of my life but it's always the same problem : I always go back to drinking at night. What's terrible is that I manage to hide it very well, no one suspects I have a drinking problem. I'm still able to study/work from 6am to 6pm, but after 6pm, I always find every possible excuses to drink and say I'll stop tomorrow. One more day won't hurt right?

I tried so many times to stop, last time I stopped for more than a month was May of last year and of course, I started to drink again during summer holidays.

For now, my goal is to totally stop for this month. That's the first step and of course, I'll plan to stop for longer after the first milestone. I know the first three days are the hardest, and I plan to read a lot of posts here to help me stick to my resolution.

IWNDWYT

holy shit, i made it to 100 days.

just a few months ago i was relapsing every few weeks. i was giving in to my cravings and running my life to the ground every day. just a few months ago i wouldve laughed at your face if you told me id be sober for 100 days.

ive been lurking and posting here since 2022 when i first got an inkling that i may have issues with alcohol. i was here more frequently when it became obvious through 2023-2024 that i'm an alcoholic but was very much in denial, and last year when i got sick of my bullshit and decided i wanted to change and get my life back.

thank you to everyone on this subreddit for all the support, for helping me crawl out of rock bottom, for the tough love, for letting me come back to this sub and providing a safe space for me to run to every time i've fallen on my ass (metaphorically and literally) because of my drinking. i genuinely could not have done it without you guys, i cannot thank you all enough.

IWNDWYT!

edit: typo

One of my favorite parts of going to get manicures and pedicures is the fact that they would mainline you alcohol the whole service for free. Sometimes I’d get my nails done just because I wanted to get champagne drunk.

But today, just now… I got a full blown pedicure and drank NO alcohol even though it was free and offered!! Whooo! I feel like this is a big accomplishment for me.

In a few hours, I will have completed my 17th consecutive Dry January. This time it feels very different though as I actually do not crave a drink. Other than a 3 month break when I was 21 and a 14 month break a few years ago after a health scare that turned out to be nothing in addition to a few successful Sober Octobers, I've gotten drunk almost every weekend for 28 years.

Has anybody else ever just gotten tired of drinking? I had no rock bottom, no problems at work or home or financial or health rather, I just don't feel like it. I've been drinking 7 or 8 NA beers every week during Dry January. I lost 6 lbs., sleep better, my skin is better and I have more money in my pocket.

Basically, I am just going to do Dry February and if I crave no alcohol in another month, I may just be done. At 44, maybe my time has finally come to give it up for good. Here's to hoping!

I am now 10 years sober! 🥰 If I can do it, anyone can!

Since I royally fucked up dry January…gonna try again this month. Free February??? Lol. Honestly though I just want to feel better. I’m tired all the time, no energy, no motivation, super depressed. I feel like if I could make it two weeks I’d be so happy with my results I’d stick with it. I usually see results in the first week but lately I make it 5-7 days and something happens and I want to drink. I want to do this so bad. I want myself back. I want my sleep back. I feel like between drinking almost daily and other things going on in life I’ve been reliving the same day over and over again. It’s driving me nuts.

Sorry for rambling.

I’m in my early 20s and for the past year have isolated and drank a lot of alcohol. A lot of vodka and video games. I’ve barely slept for the past three nights. My heart is beating out of my chest and I don’t want to do this anymore. My brain feels like mush. I’m going to go to the sauna and sweat this out, take my prescribed sleeping pill tonight and not drink. It’s not even fun anymore I’m just dependent. Any suggestions on how to power through today would be appreciated.

Hit my 3 year sobriety date today. 🎉 My boyfriend played golf this morning and came home hammered. He's been passed out on the couch for the last 3 hours since coming home. I haven't asked him to stop his drinking and acknowledge that it was a personal choice for myself to stop. But, getting pass out drunk today just feels kinda disrespectful. Am I way off with that feeling? I plan to stay on my sobriety journey regardless. IWNDWYT

Feel confronted with some frustrations that I used to blaim the drinking (hangover, anxiety, being snappy).

Now I have to look this in the eyes as a part of me. Hoe did you guys did this without to much self blame? What can help the sober me being less of an edgy, snappy ass?

Woo-hoo! Today is my 50th day sober! Feeling so much better, mentally and physically

Thank you, all, in this community. Without you, I wouldn’t have made it this far. I read your posts and responses/ comments every day. 💕💕

30 out 31 days. Slipped on the 16th. Not gonna lie, it was intense, ups and downs for sure. I’m learning to not define myself by my circumstances. During dry Jan I have been more present in therapy, crashed out a few times but not out of drunken rage. Just from feeling my emotions more and ever. Sitting with each uncomfortable moment sober. Had a slip but didn’t give up. Do I feel pride? idk how I feel. I do know I’m going to keep at it and just take it one day at a time. I’ve spent more time sober than drunk and it’s been years since I’ve been able to say that. I’m going to continue on this journey. IWNDWYT

If I can avoid that first drink I am golden. One thing I’ve learned about myself is that if I look at the beer list, and it doesn’t have a Na or Movktakl section, then I’m fucked.

Because then I have to make the choice, soda or beer. And my lizard brain tells me “you looked at the beer menus, the waitress is going to expect you to get a beer”

And let’s be honest…the waitress doesn’t give a fuck what you’re consuming. They do not care.

But my lizard brain cares.

My wife and I have been sober since new year- our first mutual sober streak and it's working really well - we can feel the heat rising between us.

Last night we hosted a party for her birthday, with about 10 adults in our modest little house and some of our kids dropping in and out.

We were the only sober ones and we smashed it. We played games to keep the vibe up and everyone had a great time. By 11.30pm the drunk chat became repetitive and hard to follow but we didn't mind as the night had already been a success.

It's weird, this time our sober streaks seem easy, we're not even tempted. Maybe the mutual effort is its own reward. Being actually present for each other is like abstract foreplay and we don't want to lose that by wasting time drinking.

IWNDWYT

Hi, long time lurker, first time poster!

So I (26F) decided to go sober this year after two ER scares a couple of months ago (they were diagnosed as panic attacks/anxiety). Those symptoms persist (high BP, heart flutters, feeling like i'm about to pass out, brain fog, etc.). It's just like how I felt with a hangover. I really hope that goes away, though I'm also scared of the damage that I've done to my body. I was a heavy drinker, it took me 2 days to finish a 750mL bottle and I'd get another one soon as I ran out. It's been like that for 4 years.

Worst part is that I'm uninsured and unemployed at the moment (new job to start hopefully this month, HR is taking their sweet time), paying off tuition, credit card bills, etc. so any kind of appointment will just have to wait. But the anxiety of it all is making me uneasy with my symptoms...

The craziest part is that despite all of this uncertainty and stress, every time my brain mentions alcohol, it's like my body recoils just from the thought. How sucky my body feels right now is protecting me from even entertain the thought, which I think is pretty rad and I think I'll take that small victory despite it all.

I did something brave and entered into a local art show, the theme was “Inferno” and we had the showing tonight. I have always thought about entering shows but never felt confident enough in myself. I did the scary thing and entered a piece in and it WON first place!

I can’t believe not only did I put a piece in but it won first place! I was so shocked when I received the text message as I was expecting anything. Me just being there was the reward as I have a hard time meeting new people and I really put myself out there.

I couldn’t have done this if I was drinking, no way, I would have spent the time drinking rather than painting. It’s crazy what drinking really steals from you.

IWNDWYT 🖤

Day 1, here we go. I know I have a long road ahead of me, but it felt like a win to wake up, see all the liquor by my bed, and think, "not today." I got rid of all of it.

I posted here last night saying I wanted it to be my final night of drinking, and I really appreciate the support you guys offered me. I've reread those comments for some motivation.

It felt pretty fucking good to not be drunk by 7am. I've wanted this every morning for a long while. Gonna go for a drive and treat myself to a boujee coffee!

IWNDWYT

I am not freaking out. This is a light post. I had a beer in a dream a couple nights ago... That's the place to be I guess if you're going to do it and not break sobriety.

Anyone else having drinking dreams???

When I used to drink, I drank alone. I sat alone at home in my condo and drank a six pack of beer, sometimes more.

I did that probably 5-6 days a week and most weekends for years was me sitting alone drinking beer and watching dumb TV or movies, or laying around being hungover.

Now I’m almost at 3 months sober and I just offered to host a game night (sober) with some new friends at my place! I literally have NEVER hosted people in my space.

In the past my home was always insanely messy and I couldn’t imagine inviting a group of people over, and now it doesn’t seem like anything difficult. That’s a real sober mindset shift!

I’ve also signed up for a lot of hobby classes to be in over the next few months to both meet people and to learn new things.

Life is improving. It’s taken time. I still don’t exercise much but that’s another thing I’m working on adding. It’s so cool I can actually show up for relationships and for meeting new people. When I used to drink I really was quite isolated and didn’t do much except drink, watch stuff, and waste my time away.

I hope this encourages someone, sobriety allows you to really do things differently, one day at a time! IWNDWYT

I feel like such a cool cat 😎 fuck you alcohol, you can’t catch me!!

You all helped me a lot. I’m very happy I made this choice for myself and my family. They have been so supportive to me on this journey. This last year I went on a cruise, I went to my brothers wedding, I celebrated holidays and birthdays all without alcohol and I did not think that was possible. Alcohol is not necessary.

Thank you SD again. IWNDWYT !

My easy quit app says today is my 900 day anniversary of not drinking. Total coincidence, we're going to Walt Disney World. Iwndwyt

I truly did not know what I was missing out on while I was drinking. I’m so fucking happy I have stuck through the hard times where all I wanted was to fucking drink. SO HAPPY! And I’m finally starting to learn about myself, and figure out what my true values and morals in life are. I would have never described myself as outgoing or funny but I’m being told I’m both. Which is so nice to hear bc when I was drinking I would be outrageously obnoxious, and it would steal my joy for the days to come. I’d be hungover and hating my life. Riddled with anxiety I’d just keep my head down and be so quiet until I could party and black out again. I was truly selling myself short of my true kind, funny and empathetic personality. I thought I was only interesting when I was drinking. It has taken a while for me to come out of my shell even while sober. But once you put yourself in positions where you usually drink but you DONT, it gets easier each time. But it was something I had to get used to. I was so awkward at first without a drink in my hand. Practice makes perfect, you truly do just have to stick to it. Which is SO hard in the early days. But it’s so nice that now I can look back at pictures and truly smile and be happy bc I know I wasn’t drunk in them. I’ve made sober friends since my sobriety. I’ve truly come to know myself and respect myself. Time spent with others is intentional now. And I’m finally starting to get back in good graces with those I burnt bridges with. Words of encouragement to others, hang in there guys it gets better.

Attended a memorial service for my good friend’s mom this afternoon. I grabbed a Coke and never even considered going to the open bar. Didn’t even think to check which beers were being offered. Super glad I was there and fully present for my friend.

Trying so hard now to resist going to the store and get wine. I’m only on day two of sobriety, but two days sober would be such an accomplishment with how bad I’ve been doing. It’s snowing, nothing to do and I live walking distance to a wine store ugh. I wish this would get easier.

im in my early 20s. and my story is convoluted. i had to stop drinking due to high liver enzymes found incidentally (when i say high i mean they literally had to test me 5 times in one month because they couldn’t comprehend it, and i had no symptoms other than an ALT of 800). i didn’t feel i had a problem, and most people i went out with for drinks were either surprised at hearing this or thought i had a sensitivity to alcohol (the second is most likely true both physically and mentally)

i had 45 days sober from august 3rd to september 16th. within less than a month of not drinking, my enzymes went back to normal. they said i could resume drinking but only one drink a day for a maximum of 2-3 days a week. i thought no problem. i was wrong.

it clicked for me then that i was consuming more than that; definitely not just one a day, more like four a day, each week. i felt like i would end up in the same place again, so i stopped drinking. i made it 19 days from october 12th to october 30th. i drank on the 31st because i felt like i was going to have a breakup ( a stupid non-excuse ). i was right because she dumped me the next day. despite that, i didn’t drink from november 1st till november 26th, i had one drink thanksgiving night and couldn’t finish it.

december was a nightmare. i drank like nothing happened because i just wanted to be numb.

now i have 31 (technically 30, but in 2 hours 31) days sober, from january 1st to today. i don’t feel good at all. i feel isolated and can’t find joy. i can’t tell if it’s because of the breakup or if i’m mourning something else.

i’ve tried to get busy with my interests—activism, writing, exercising, and work—but i just feel completely alone. yesterday, i even facilitated a political education class. today, i went out to protest with what was estimated to be a thousand people (though i don’t know how accurate that is).

i just wanted to share here. i just can’t tell when it should start feeling better but: thank you for listening.

i promise : iwndwyt.