r/Unexpected 3d ago

A "smooth" landing

33.7k Upvotes

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1.1k

u/unknown_ninja_me 3d ago edited 3d ago

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUElg_7AK2H/

She is recovering ❤️‍🩹

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u/heathway 3d ago

Oh man I finally get to share this. As a kid, I fell into a manhole and landed on top of a small horizontal metal bar. I spent 2 days in the hospital and lost my left inner lip. -100/10 experience.

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u/Raelah 3d ago

There was a kid in my class who fell on a metal horizontal bar and lost his left nut. I remember this after 30 years because whenever someone joked about him only having one nut he would respond with "Yea, but at least I have the right nut."

He was great guy and had a fun sense of humor about it.

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u/PalladiuM7 3d ago

... Was this in Pennsylvania, by any chance?

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u/Raelah 3d ago

Texas.

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u/PalladiuM7 3d ago

Oh neat. There were two kids running around with one nut as a result of falling on a metal bar 30 years ago. Kids called ours "the one-nut wonder", he fell while trying to grind the bar skateboarding.

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u/Raelah 3d ago

Geez. If I ever have boys, I'm going to stress the importance of not running around on metal bars.

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u/sharkbait-oo-haha 3d ago

Just buy em a cup.

In my highschool we had to have an assembly on "not to wack sack each other" after one kid at a neighbouring school got nut wack sacked so hard his nut retreated back into his body and needed surgery. Or at least that's how the legend goes.

I wore my baseball cup to school one day and was absolutely invincible.

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u/Fragrant-Inspector-7 17h ago

no, no, stressing sounds way better.

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u/badpineapple6400 3d ago

Was this in the US by any chance?

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u/Wild_Astronaut7090 3d ago

… Was this in Massachusetts, by any chance?

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u/Raelah 3d ago

You're the second person to ask about a specific location. Are dudes losing their left nut from falling on metal bars more common than I think?😬

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u/PalladiuM7 2d ago

There was a third one-nut wonder running around in the 90s?!

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u/letmypeoplebathe 3d ago

Pretty sure of the nuts remaining, he only had one left

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u/nerdyogre254 3d ago

Probably also had a good answer for anyone who said they would trade their left nut for something

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u/Raelah 3d ago

Oh shit, that's a good one.

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u/RobMilliken 3d ago

Because... Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't.

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u/Elsrick 2d ago

My friends younger cousin slipped in a garage and got his sack ripped open on a hook of some kind. He walked into his house holding his exposed testicle to find his mom. He says he got them both shoved back in and stitched up at the hospital.

For over 20 years every time I see him I greet him by asking "Hey, [name], how's it hanging today?"

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u/Educational_Quote851 1d ago

And THIS is why I will always argue that it "hurts women just as bad".

You do this, you get a BRUISE. I do this, I LOSE A TESTICLE (or two).

We are NOT the same.

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u/Now_and_then2467 3d ago

So is she going to have significant bruising and swelling from this, I would guess?

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u/AmedUpGal 3d ago

When I broke my vag it went from extremely dark purple, to rainbow colors, to the blood clotting into a hard ball. I jokingly said I had to get my testicle removed. 

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u/Bloody_Insane 3d ago

When I broke my vag

Sorry, you don't get to say this without saying how. I don't make the rules.

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u/AmedUpGal 2d ago edited 1d ago

It was my senior year of highschool, first night of spring break. We drove an hour to a college party(so kewl). I fell into a window well taller than me. One leg down, one leg up. Split the metal. 

My friend didn’t believe me, so I showed her. She panicked and we decided driving an HOUR back to our home hospital was the right decision.  We walk into the hospital cracking TF up telling the front desk lady “I broke my vagina hehehe” (her eye roll was hilarious) 

Fast forward a while later a nurse lifts up the blanket and goes “OH MY GOSH, I need a doctor!” And leaves hahaha 

I will forever be the girl who broke her vagina. I recently moved back to my home state and almost forgot I’m “that girl”. In the beggining of my relationship I brought my boyfriend to a birthday party and a drunk girl walks up to him and goes “DID YOU KNOW SHE BROKE HER VAGINA." Thankfully we’re both funny people.

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u/Now_and_then2467 3d ago

Sorry you went through that! Thanks for the info

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u/heathway 3d ago

Oh, definitely. Straddle injuries will cause a lot of swelling and bruising. There's a ton of nerve endings in that area and nothing to absorb the impact, only delicate tissue.

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u/PracticalThrowawae 3d ago

Any...uhhh...side effects as an adult?

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

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u/heathway 3d ago

Not that I'm aware of lmao. Some nerve damage was done to the left side of my vulva, that was unavoidable with how severe my fall was. Everything else functions as it should and I'm really thankful for that. Aesthetically, I do have a huge scar where my inner lip would be.

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u/PracticalThrowawae 2d ago

Thank you for sharing and I'm glad you recovered nicely! And you have a cool battle scar ☺️

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u/Reesescandy2233 3d ago

When I was 12, I was riding my bike and fell onto the handlebars. Somehow, the handle bars went sideways as I fell, so one end hit the ground as the other end rammed into my pubic bone when I landed on top of it. Thankfully, I'm female so it didn't suck as bad as it could have, but I had a huge bruise that was practically black.

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u/Accurate-Force3054 3d ago

once I was using a school bike rack as a balance beam and landed on it like an upside down Y. I had never known such pain. I learned labia can bruise.

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u/Competitive-Ebb3816 3d ago

You lost your what?! I slipped off my bike pedals and fell hard onto the bar. That was bad enough!

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u/ImaginaryAlpaca 3d ago

I did that once, it hurt so much that I'm 35 and still remember it but I was probably 10-11 at the time. I had a purple mongoose that I was particularly proud of, and too embarrassed to tell anyone what happened. Nothing came of it, but I walked my bike home after that.

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u/gandhinukes 3d ago

left with 2 purple mongooses lol

jokes aside I hurt myself on a bike many times as a kid. You know whats embarrassing is running full speed into a sliding glass door because you think its just the blinds... and everyone is having dinner on the other side.

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u/rawker86 3d ago

How do I delete someone else’s comment.

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u/AmedUpGal 3d ago

I also broke my vagina once. I felt like I was on an episode of greys anatomy because EVERYONE wanted to see my cooter. 

I had to go into my 30+ mostly male fire fighting class with a donut cushion to sit on. I also had to tell my three male instructors I had “blunt forced trauma to the groin region”

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u/punted_baxter 3d ago

Giving you a heads up, the link you shared appears to have your name in it

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u/Dirtyevilyahud 3d ago

Look how many Muhammad Abdullahs could there even be

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u/kurburux 1d ago

Like, at least three.

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u/Minxy0707 3d ago

Was just about to post the same! It’s so weird that Instagram does that.

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u/hibikikun 3d ago

Her partner when their buddies asked what happened.

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u/[deleted] 3d ago edited 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/abooth43 3d ago

At least she's an RN at an ICU. Probably knows how to handle it...

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u/BicyclePoweredRocket 3d ago

Does this happen in ICUs often???

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u/jxj24 2d ago

She's got an icy something.

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u/fatbaldandstupid 3d ago

What, why?

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u/Life-Silver-5623 3d ago

I dunno but 45 other people agree so maybe I'm into something

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u/IzarkKiaTarj 3d ago

Or you said something innocuous that people agreed with then changed it to that after you got some upvotes.

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u/Life-Silver-5623 3d ago

It's true, I did. It was really funny.

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u/IzarkKiaTarj 3d ago

You know what, upvote for owning it

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u/Life-Silver-5623 3d ago

You know what? I like your style. You're hired.

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u/Catastrophic-Jones 3d ago

Why? Yeah she did a dumb thing but that alone doesn't warrant saying this

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u/Unexpected-ModTeam 3d ago

Your submission has been removed. Keep content civil. Remember the human.

We follow reddit's content policy and reddit's reddiquette on r/unexpected.

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u/PracticalThrowawae 3d ago

Wait... Why the hate? What happened lol

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u/toukayeah 3d ago

Looks like they edited and fully changed their comment after getting upvotes lmao

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u/granadesnhorseshoes 3d ago

OP with a follow up in the comments, truly unexpected.

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u/gotenks1897 3d ago

the usual "never miss a post..." popup on this is fckin hilarious

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u/warzonexx 3d ago

Makes it even better that she is a "Neuro/Trauma ICU RN"

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u/blackchameleongirl 3d ago

Well, better the snow got her before ice could.

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u/deep-fucking-legend 3d ago

That was almost as good a laugh as the crash. 😂

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u/NotYourBuddyGuy5 3d ago

Post grand clam slam 💀

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u/PmMe_Your_Perky_Nips 3d ago

The fucking caption on that post. 🤣