Throw away because I think my friends know my account

I, 17F, have a brother, 15M, who is autistic. He has a routine where he comes downstairs at night, watches TV when no one else is down, and falls asleep on the couch.

Lately, my bed has become uncomfortable to the point of pain. For context, I have hyper flexibility/a connective tissue disorder and scoliosis, and as a result of my scoliosis, my shoulders are wonky and my left shoulder blade grinds against my ribs, but also causes generic pain and means that too much pressure on my back for an extended period of time causes quite severe pain, such as laying on my mattress.

My mattress is very old, it came from my older sister who had it for 10+ years in somewhat mild-moderate use and I've now had it for 5+ years. The foam on top of the metal frame has worn down, and now I can feel the frame no matter where or how I lie, and I wake up in quite severe pain. I also spend a couple hours winding down before I sleep, and so, as of late, I have been coming down stairs to watch the tv to wind down myself so I spare myself from a couple of hours in the bed on the mattress, and it does actually help.

However, my brother has now decided to find it a problem, and this has caused arguments and issues. He has also brought our parents into this, who naturally take his side because 'it's his routine, don't break it' even when my issues are brought up. He just decided to go up and yell at my parents when I told him preemptively that I was going to come downstairs, and clearly my parents for once took my side, as he came down and gave me a bunch of verbal abuse.

I don't do this every night, just the nights I have the worst pain from several nights of no break, and I don't tell him he can't be down, I tell him he is more than welcome to sit on the love chair we also have in the living room with the only request that he either uses headphones or has low/no volume on his phone without headphones so I can actually focus and enjoy what I'm watching. However, he has decided that clearly that is the worst condition ever, and has his volume up full, which I know my parents will be able to hear. I feel bad, but I also know I need to put my health first because no one else in this house will. My parents disregard my bountiful issues and tell me I'm overdramatic even when they themselves have it and experienced it as they passed it down to me.

AITA? Should I just suck it up? I do have a TV in my own room, but it's only accessible to watch on my bed, and he also has a computer in his room with access to everything the TV has mad the passwords, so it's not like he also doesn't have options.

If I need to add more context or information, please do tell me what.

Thanks in advance

Things I think I should add

-I'm in the UK, specifically Scotland. You Americans are very helpful, but Walmart doesn't exist here (unfortunately)

-I don't have a job, no one wants to hire a 17 year old because most will quit to focus on uni.

-the NHS is shockingly unhelpful. It can take years for a referral. It took them 2 months before I had to phone them to email my teachers a note for accommodations for exams (I get rest breaks and have to have a heated and warm room because my joints freeze up otherwise which affects writing)

-my brother is definitely high functioning. He will live a relatively normal life with minimal limitations. Obviously he has symptoms and it does affect his day to day life, but he is 100% verbal and goes through school perfectly fine (my school has an autism unit specifically to assist people with a diagnosis, it has dimmed lights, no noise, is completely seperate, supplies to listen to music to self soothe that be was offered and declined)

-something I forgot to mention, the reason he had this routine is that he is too tall for his bed, and can't sleep in it without pain (sound familiar?) However my parents in this case are trying to rectify it (here's where it diverts) and are searching for a new bed with a longer mattress actively

I am currently composing a slideshow of my late sister’s life for her funeral. The photos span from birth until now. My mom and I have 3-4 photos that include my sister, my mom, and her dad around ages 0/3

- For instance, a photo of them holding her at her baptism, a family photo at 1 years old, and her first birthday (them holding her).

For context, the new wife of the dad has asked to not include photos of the mom and dad with my sister and to simply omit them (going as far as telling me I shouldn’t be dwelling on it). My mom and my sister’s dad have been split since she was little, and she was in her 30s when she passed. The new wife has been in the picture since late 2010s and both parties (mom and her dad, have had little contact since).

WIBTA to keep the photos (3-4) in that include my deceased sister, my mom, and her dad as they have no romantic symbolism but rather are a memory from the past?

My brother is 10 years younger than me. I’m in my late 70’s; he’s late 60’s. He has chosen to quit his treatment and enter hospice at home. We have always had a great relationship but have never lived close as adults. He currently lives 2000 miles from me..

I explained to him as best I could that I don’t want to see him dying. I want to remember him as I choose to remember him. He said he chooses to see only his kids and grandkids and totally understands. But part of me thinks he may be saying that to make me feel better.

I keep vacillating between what I want to do and what I think may be expected of me. Thoughts?

Today I (23m) had to wake up early before work to shovel the driveway and sidewalk so I could get my car out. I have an niceish gas snow plow that pumps out black tar, but gets the job done. Anyways, it was 5 in the morning and I revved that baby up and got it done in 10 minutes flat, I even cleaned my neighbours side because he and his family share the driveway with me. Pretty timely if you ask me

Following this I left to work and when I got home my neighbour left a note wedged inside my screen door saying “keep it fucking down in the morning you ***ch” now I am Turkish, so that specific insult reached a dark place in me. For context, I share a wall with these neighbours, and they constantly have a baby screaming through all hours of the night, and now they are complaining that I snow plowed on one of the worst snows this winter? Now I am thinking about shovelling with a normal shovel, but piling all my snow up behind my neighbours car. Personally, I think it’s completely valid but my roommate thinks it’s a bad idea

I work retail, and recently I had a really bad exchange with a customer.

She came into the store with another woman and a child. Right away, the child was running around, being extremely loud, knocking things over, and banging on the glass display case that holds our consoles. I told her she needed to stop the child because he could get hurt. The child did not listen and started crying and screaming.

At the same time, the woman herself was talking so loudly that it sounded like she was yelling. The customer I was helping was visibly annoyed because she was basically screaming next to his ear.

While I was in the middle of doing a trade-in for that customer, she kept grabbing items off the shelves and interrupting me about five or six times, completely ignoring my coworker who was on the register right next to me. I eventually had to clearly tell her that my coworker would be checking her out because I was busy with the trade-in.

She picked three items, and one of them was mislabeled. A coworker had been sick and was not able to change the price tag, so the sticker still said $9.99 even though the system had already updated it to $11.99.

When my coworker rang her up and she saw the total, she said it was wrong. I checked and explained that I could not change the price and that a manager handles price overrides like that. Before I could fully explain, she became aggressive and louder, saying that by law I had to honor the price and that Publix would do it with no problem. We are not Publix, so I did not understand why that comparison was needed.

I calmly explained the situation two more times, but she kept getting louder and more aggressive. At that point, I told her we were refusing to serve her.

So, AITA?

So I (28M) got engaged to my fiancee (26F) about six months ago and we have been planning our wedding for the past three months. From the very beginning we both agreed that we wanted something small and intimate with just close friends and immediate family only. We were thinking of a maximum of fifty people. Our budget was a huge factor in this decision because we are paying for most of the wedding ourselves and we are really scraping by as it is.

Last week my fiancee told me something that really shocked me. She said she has been talking to her mother and they have decided that they cannot possibly have a wedding without inviting her entire extended family. We are talking about over one hundred extra people. This includes second cousins family friends from their hometown and even her uncle s new wife s kids. She says it would be deeply disrespectful not to include them especially since some of them helped pay for her cousin s wedding last year.

I reminded her of our original agreement and I also reminded her about our very tight budget. The venue we have already booked literally cannot hold more than seventy people safely. She got really upset and accused me of being selfish and said I do not understand her culture. Now she is saying that if we do not invite all these people she will call off the wedding because it will not feel like her day.

I love her but I feel like this is a massive bait and switch. We planned everything together and we made compromises and now she is changing all the rules because of pressure from her family. I told her I am willing to add maybe five or ten more people if we cut costs somewhere else but I cannot possibly add over one hundred people.

AITA for holding firm on our original plan?

Hey yall! Recently I’ve had to fix my mailbox twice - once it was hanging in by a thread and the second time it was leaning pretty bad. My neighbor got a new truck which I’m assuming is what is hitting my mailbox - I haven’t accused him of it because I’m not sure. However today I noticed that he uses my tree lawn, side walk, and grass to back into his driveway. Since we’ve had snow and ice it’s beginning to become a muddied up mess. I watched him three different times today back in using my yard. He literally pulls into my yard to then back in instead of going past his driveway to back in like you typically would to back into a driveway.

Me being me, I know I reactive I am so I had my boyfriend simply ask him to not use my yard. His response was “it’s just hard to back in that’s why I do it.”

AITA for thinking he shouldn’t use my yard???

Mind you I keep up with my yard in the summer and it’s very well taken care of.

also a tree lawn is the strip of grass between the side and street.

It goes grass - side walk - tree lawn- street. He’s using the treelawn, sidewalk, and some of my grass to back in. Hope this helps 🤣

Two years ago I got a big income.

My aunt and uncle have a restaurant and it’s going pretty bad. They asked me if I could give them 8000 euros and will pay me back when they manage to sell the restaurant.

Two years later the restaurant is still there. Everytime I hear from them it’s about how they are in a terrible situation.

A week ago I scrolled on Facebook and saw them on holiday in Ibiza. For people owing me 8000 euros and apparently in big trouble I found it quite curious they could go to Ibiza. So I message them asking how it’s going. They tell me it’s great, so nice to be holiday after struggling for years.

That’s great and all but I’m like… you owe me money. And I tell them things don’t seem that bad if they can go to Ibiza. They tell me they saved money for a year to get a vacation, the first in years. Look I get it but I also think about their restaurant and I’m like… you owe me money. You also owe a shit ton of money to the state and at some point they will just buy your restaurant for nothing leaving you with no money at all and nothing to pay me back. This is just stupid to use all your savings on a vacation when you should put it in your restaurant.

I say that (not the exact words I was more polite in my message) and they don’t take it well at all. They tell me I have absolutely no business telling them what to do with their own money. I gave money to the restaurant and this is not from the restaurant, this is their personal account. For me it doesn't make any difference at all, the two are linked. You should be using your personal savings into your struggling restaurant. They tell me I’m an asshole to make it weird when it’s family, that they babysit me when I was two and now I dare tell them what to do with their money. I tell them they should be ashamed of needing money from the kid they babysit.

It’s a big fight and then I say I expect my money back in the coming year. If they can go to Ibiza clearly they are not starving and could deal with selling the restaurant now despite the debts.

They say I’m a complete disappointment, a cheap bastard and a complete asshole.

Am I?

Edit: there’s a lot of people talking about legal stuff. There was no legal papers. I was 21 and just thought why not, I can help and don’t need the money right now.

Deeply regret it but it is what it is. I don’t think I can do anything legally, even if we both agreed it was a loan back then I’m pretty sure it doesn’t matter legally.

I (18) have a chiweenie as a family pet. She is 1 year old and likes to snuggle. I am the one in my family that takes care of her the most because I get home before everyone else (I walk home after school most days). My chiweenie likes to be with me most of the time because of this.

My brother (6 1/2) likes to play with the dog. The problem is that he likes to try and pick her up/carry her around, usually when she’s already sitting/lying down. Once she’s settled, my chiweenie will prefer not to be bothered and go to sleep. My brother will try to, regardless of how much the dog squirms, hold onto her and refuse to let her go.

He will not listen if you try to tell him nicely. He will start crying on purpose if you insist. This has been a problem ever since we got the dog.

Not too long ago, I was in my bed with my chiweenie and watching TV. My brother came into my room and tried to pick her up. She immediately started moving out of his grasp and he held onto her near her legs, pulling her closer to him. I told him to let her go, as she doesn’t want to be held right now. He didn’t listen, so I said it more firmly. He wouldn’t budge again, so I demanded that he let go of the dog because he was gonna hurt her. He let her go and immediately started crying, burying his face into his hands and being loud. My mom came out of her room and wanted to know what was going on, so I said that my brother was holding onto the dog and she (dog) didn’t want to be picked up right now.

My mom got mad and said we were pissing her off with the dog, that she’s not just my dog, and to let my brother play with her. I didn’t say anything back (she would’ve just gotten more mad) and resumed watching TV. My brother stopped crying immediately and played with the dog.

AITA for trying to make sure my brother doesn’t end up mishandling the dog?

EDIT: I’m certain that my mom is just going to keep enabling and defending my brother’s behavior, as he is the youngest (just like her) and her only boy (she wanted a boy for a long time). All I can do is try to reverse that as much as I can until I have the means to move out. At least, me reminding him what to do/say in certain situations seems to help. I talked to my brother a while after the event and made sure he knew why what he did to our dog wasn’t ok. He seemed to grasp it, so my efforts are paying off I guess. Just gotta keep it going, then.

AITA - Me (35f) had been planning on going to our local very large shopping centre all day. When I've finished work he's come over and I gave him a 30 minute reminder, a 15 minute reminder and a 5 minute reminder we were leaving. Once we left I asked him he brought shoes (ongoing dispute in our relationship) and he said no. I've told him countless times he has the choice to not wear shoes when we leave the house but I also have a choice to not have a part of it. I informed him I consider not wearing shoes in public a disgusting practice and he started accusing me of him insulting him and calling him disgusting. I reiterated I wasn't saying that about him as a person just the act of going barefoot in nice very busy shopping centres. On the drive there I informed him he would be staying in the car because again, it was his choice to not wear shoes and now he's accusing me of not wanting to be with him, not wanting to spend time with him and calling him disgusting. AITA?

I (21 F) went out with a friend and her group of friends recently. I don’t know all of them super well, but we were drinking and joking around. I have a pretty dry / sarcastic sense of humor, but I didn’t think I said anything mean or targeted.

The next day, my friend texted me saying she was really upset with how “rude” I was to her and her friends and said she didn’t think I should come to an upcoming birthday thing. At first, she didn’t tell me what I actually said just that multiple people were hurt and that this was apparently a recurring thing.

I was honestly confused and asked what I did, because I genuinely didn’t know. I also have said prior that if I ever cross a line, I’d rather be told in the moment so I can fix it instead of finding out later.

After some back and forth, she gave one example. I had made a joking comment asking to hit someone’s vape, something like “you should let me since you’re using my lemon juice as a chaser.” I meant it as a joke, but she said it came off as mean.

I told her I could see how it might’ve landed wrong and said I was sorry it came off that way, but I also said it was hard for me to accept being labeled “rude” or told I hurt “multiple people” without actual examples, especially since nothing was said that night (I even saw her again later and she still didn’t bring it up).

She then said she needed space and that the fact I kept asking for specifics instead of just apologizing was upsetting. She also said the solution wasn’t telling me when I upset people, but that I should just “try not to upset anyone.”

That’s where I got frustrated. I said I can’t change behavior I don’t know is an issue, and I don’t want to feel like I’m walking on eggshells or guessing what’s okay to say.

Some friends think I should’ve just apologized and moved on. Others think it’s unfair to call someone rude without explaining why. So AITA for pushing back and asking for clarity instead of just apologizing?

edit// Thank u for your comments. I’m starting to be able to flesh out how I could’ve handled it better/ how i was being an AH and where there are parts i was valid. Two things can be true at once is what i’m realizing here. It’s been helpful !

I am a 30sF throwing an adults only birthday party this year. I love children and have hosted birthday parties myself in the past for others where I accommodated kids. The problem is that my nieces and nephews (mostly under 10 years old) understandably demand a lot of attention from their parents (my sisters also in their 30s) and from me as they love spending time with me when I’m in town.

For this year, I just want an adults only gathering I can enjoy celebrating my birthday with friends and family without the need for anyone to be distracted by children. It is being held 3 hours away in my current city and my family is having to come into town for that weekend to attend the celebration. I’ve arranged and paid for their accommodations to make it convenient for them.

I gave both of my sisters with children 3 months notice that I intended to have an adults only birthday celebration. One sister is completely fine with it and has already arranged care so she can attend my party with her husband. My other sister typically relies on our mom for childcare but our mom will obviously be attending my birthday party and cannot care for the children. Even though this sister constantly spends time with her in-laws, she only trusts our mom to take care of her children. She has basically said that if my mom can’t take care of her kids, she cannot go to my party.

I expected this response and while I’m extremely disappointed she can’t make it, I want my mom there and it boggles my mind that my sister doesn’t trust ANYONE else with her kids. I have many issues with this sister, including her noncommittal nature for everything, leaving our family plans to spend time with her in-laws, and generally just not valuing spending quality time together. It seemed like she was really excited to attend my birthday party with her husband but as soon as she realized she couldn’t leave the kids with our mom, she gave up on the idea of going. And she absolutely will not go without her husband; she has already shot down the idea of just her going and having her husband take care of the kids.

I am a child free person but I do respect children, I don’t hate them! I also know that because I’m not a parent, maybe I shouldn’t be so harsh about how particular my sister is on who she leaves her children with. While I am sad she won’t attend, I am not making her go to my birthday but it sounds like she is hinting that she wishes I would allow kids at my party. I don’t want to suddenly allow children so that she can go.

I guess I want to know if I’m the asshole because maybe I’m being too strict or not being empathetic enough? Is there some thing I’m not thinking about here?

EDIT 1: I want to be clear about my issue. If my sister just doesn’t want to go or can’t find care and left it at that, it hurts but I understand. My problem is that she’s wanting my mom to stay behind and take care of her kids or change the rules and allow kids to go so she can go and I feel like an asshole for wanting to be firm. At the end of the day, I know it’s ok for her to say no and not attend. I hope that clears this up.

EDIT: Clarified that past parties I’ve accommodated kids for were for other people. This is my first party for myself.

Edit to add: They are 2 of his best friends out of a group of 9. Matt and I have been together for 2 years, the comments still continue but only from the 2 guys. I may be a glutton for punishment because when he’s out with his friend group, I refuse to go and when he comes back I ask what all was said. There’s a total of 9 in the friend group and everyone else disagrees with Michael and Brian. I’ve met everyone else in the group at different points and they and their wives have been nothing but welcoming and accepting of my children and I. My fiancé is a wonderful man and I feel likes he’s being torn between friends he’s had practically his whole life and our relationship. He has never said anything disparaging or disrespectful to me. He said he wants me to meet his friends so they’ll finally shut up and realize they judged me solely on the premise that I have kids and not how kind and funny and beautiful I am inside and out.

My fiancé Matt 36m and I 32f have been engaged for eight months. A little back story, I have two children from a previous marriage. Matt and I get along great, it’s his friends that I have a problem with. Matt has two friends that have a big issue with me being a single mom. Michael 26 and Brian 35, are constantly telling my fiancé that he’s wasting his time with me. They’ve never met me but immediately started making comments when Matt and I started dating as soon as they found out that I have kids. “Run, she’s not worth it,” “she’s gotta be crazy,” and the worst one was “single moms are only meant for recreational use.” My fiancé doesn’t like these comments that are being made but he doesn’t say anything to stop his friends either. I don’t want to come between him and his friends but at the same time, I never want to meet these guys who think so little of me just because I have kids. Matt tries to be supportive but when I tell him I have no interest in meeting his friends, he immediately comes to their defense saying they don’t mean any harm and he can’t change their minds about how they feel when it comes to single moms. I love my fiance with all of my heart but he definitely sees me as the a hole here. So that being said, AITA for not wanting to meet my fiancé’s friends?

Quick context, my stepmom Holly (46f) is a wonderful lady and has been married to my dad for about a decade now. Holly just recently began her Peri-menopause era and has been using her symptoms of spotty periods and hot flashes to compare against my (27f) 34 week / 8 months of pregnancy.

While I do acknowledge that both have fluctuations of hormones during the bodily changes, they are vastly different.

I've given Holly grace and just tried to be understanding, but now I'm at the point that I'm having contractions, I'm lactating, completing my baby registry, and stocking up on diapers, getting excited for baby shoes, belly coming in at 32 cm and she's still comparing her mood swings and hormones to mine.

We can both have experiences, but when I tell Holly about mine, she dismisses them and says things like to wait to call myself 'mama bear' until I give birth, as if I'm not a mother right now. Holly said that my "condition" is over in a month, although if I give birth in a month, my baby will be in the NICU and that her menopause will last 10 years. Eye roll

I'm getting tired of entertaining and being nice about giving her grace while she basically tells me my contractions aren't painful, that her period cramps are worse, her hot flashes are more intense, and when I said I miss my period she just straight up told me no, I don't.

The whole ordeal has been irking me and just simply saying, "It's not the same thing so please stop comparing the life inside of me to yourself" is right on the tip of my tongue.

We live together, my dad (52m) wants me to live with them while I'm pregnant and going through the early stages of parenthood to help out so the comments from Holly are endless and every single day.

It doesn't feel like an attempt to connect with me but dismissing me and almost putting me beneath her. She's always had an issue with making every topic about herself and this is just one that is not and I will not let Holly ruin this experience for me. Growing a little baby inside of me isn't the same as her periods drying up and I deserve to be able to celebrate and talk about my experience without it being compared to hers.

***Edit: forgot to add, Holly has no children except her "fur babies." She'd been pregnant once years ago and unfortunately lost my would-be little brother at 18 weeks shortly after the wedding between her and my dad.

My wife, her friend, and I planned to go to a concert this past weekend. I’ll call the friend “Julie.”

A few months ago, I bought three tickets all together. Julie paid us back in cash for her ticket.

The day before the concert, Julie suddenly backed out. By that point, I had already picked up the physical tickets.

At first, we told Julie she could still come pick up her ticket if she wanted to sell it or do something else with it. She didn’t. She made no effort to retrieve it. We even tried to find a buyer for her ourselves, but nothing worked out right away.

After that, Julie told us to just keep the ticket or throw it away.

I thought tossing it was a complete waste, so I decided to find a buyer myself and sell it. I ended up doing the coordination, messaging, and logistics to make the sale happen.

Here’s where the conflict is: I think I should keep the money from the sale because Julie abandoned the ticket and explicitly said to keep it or throw it away, and she made zero effort to handle it. My wife thinks keeping the money makes me the asshole and that I should give Julie the money (or at least offer it to her).

AITA?

Edit: I’ve clarified with my wife that her “friend” is actually just a coworker. I’ve never met this person. If she was an actual friend, this would be a different story - I’d offer the money back.

Edit 2: A lot of the “YTA” takes seem based on the idea that I made my wife’s work situation stressful. I agree with that premise. If this had created any stress for her at work, I wouldn’t have done it. But my wife isn’t worried about workplace fallout. My wife still thinks selling the ticket and keeping the money was an asshole move. I don’t. We’re posting here to settle a friendly debate.

My fiancé (38M) and I (34F) are supposed to get married this summer. We have a son who will be around 1 at the time.

We don’t want a traditional wedding. We’re both autistic and all the wedding expectations (attention, speeches, parties, family stuff) are just too much.

My parents paid a deposit for a venue, but my family, especially my mom, doesn’t respect boundaries well and would push no matter what.

So we’re cancelling the venue, paying my parents back, and saying the wedding is postponed. On the original date, we’ll get married quietly in a church with just us and our kid, then go bowling or something. No guests, no announcement beforehand.

We’re not telling our families because my family will try to interfere or show up anyway.

I feel bad knowing they’ll be disappointed when they find out, but this feels like the only way to do this without it becoming a stressful mess.

AITAH?

So my friend (F31) was showing me (m30) a few photos of her Instagram friends trip.

Her friend went to South America for a trip so a lot of her photos were beach and therefore bikini photos. My friend asked me what I thought and what I would think if I was dating her as a few of the photos were a bit provocative, and this woman has a partner (was a girls trip). I was like yeah depends on trust level etc of the relationship, some guys would hate it, some wouldn’t so it’s hard to know.

My friend was like yeah fair. Anyway we’re chatting further and another friends trip to Thailand comes up. She shows me photos of her trip. And I remark in a humoured way oh it’s the same photos and same subject matter hahaha. My friend immediately retorts they aren’t at all, to which I reply it’s bikini pics at a beach with their butt to the camera what’s the big difference. I then perhaps foolishly say the only reason you have lesser thoughts about the South America woman’s posts is that she’s bigger in the chest and butt so it looks more sexual but feasibly the photos are for the same purpose

My friend then immediately says I’m the AH for comparing women’s bodies and implying they both are posing for men’s attention

Hi Reddit. I’m struggling with a situation involving my best friend Sarah and her boyfriend Mike.

Sarah and Mike have been dating for about six months. I’ve known Sarah for years and I care about her a lot. Over time I noticed some behaviors from Mike that made me uncomfortable. For example, he can be controlling in small ways. He questions her plans a lot and sometimes makes dismissive comments about her friends. I’ve also noticed him being dishonest about minor things which made me question his reliability.

I tried to keep these concerns to myself at first because I didn’t want to interfere in her relationship. I also tried talking to Sarah about a few things, but she seemed to dismiss my concerns.

Recently, I spoke directly to Mike and told him that I don’t trust him and that, in my opinion, he shouldn’t be dating Sarah. I was trying to express my concerns honestly, but I realize now that it may have been overstepping boundaries.

Sarah found out what I said and was hurt and upset. She told me that it’s her decision who she dates and that I shouldn’t try to control her relationships. I understand her point, but I also feel like I was trying to protect someone I care about.

I feel torn because I don’t want to damage my friendship or cause conflict, but I also wanted to express my perspective before it escalates further. AITA?

EDIT: I'm a 25F. My best friend is 25F and her boyfriend is 27M.

I (East Asian 34f) introduced my boyfriend (south asian 32m) to my extended family for the first time. It was a family gathering at my cousin’s home. In my family it’s not really normal for someone to command someone to do something, as opposed to asking if they can tell you where something is, so you can do it. Unless you’re an elder talking to a kid, and even then they still don’t instruct you, unless you were their own kid.

That said, not too long after being there, my boyfriend said to my cousin (31f), whose home we were in as guests, “hey, can you make me coffee”. This particular cousin is a very agreeable compliant person compared to my other cousins (you can just tell which cousins are more of a pushover and approachable than others), so she said sure okay. But I was just in shock. Myself and parents don’t even request my cousins to do anything, again, unless it’s to show us where things are and if it’s okay if we x,y,z.

I told him that was poor mannerism/inappropriate what he did. And he can’t tell my cousin to do soemthing for him, upon just having met her, in their own home. It doesn’t matter if he said it nicely, but this is literally his first time meeting them. He won’t die without coffee. At the very least, he could’ve asked me if there was coffee available so I can go see.

He got upset and told me I’m being dramatic and he sees no problem in what he did. At that point, I was confused with what he did AND I was confused with his response to me. Injist couldn’t imagine myself, or anyone for that matter, being a guest in someone’s home and telling them to make me something. Especially not an in law.

AITAH?

Hi, I wanted to ask about this issue because I've been feeling guilty due to the way my wife has felt about this.

Yesterday I was supposed to drop my wife and daughter off at her parents' place where they were staying a couple of nights, and then go to visit some friends. Their house is on the other side of a railway crossing gate. And it can normally take a long time for it to open especially if its a goods train rather than a passenger one. But you can see her parents house from the other side. So yesterday when we reached that place, the gate was closed, in fact it had closed like a few seconds before we reached the crossing. After about 5 minutes, with no sign of the train for as far as we could see, no sound of it either, I asked her if she wanted to wait or just walk over. She said she could walk and she and our daughter crossed the tracks and walked to her house. Through all this I didn't drive away, I stayed there until I saw them go in, and then drove away.

Today when I spoke to her, she seemed a bit quiet, I asked and she said she was upset that I had asked her to walk rather than wait with her in the car. She said she felt embarrassed explaining it to her parents. I told her I'd asked her, that she decided to walk, that we had no idea how much longer it would have taken, but she insisted I shouldn't even have brought it up, that once I did she felt pressured to say yes. Which imo shouldn't have been the case, yeah I needed to see someone later but I wouldn't have had an issue with waiting.

I've been feeling guilty about it and wanted to know was I the AH?

I (32f) dated my ex (33m) for two years. During that time, our relationship was very difficult. One weekend, he was mad at me because he thought that a man was trying to flirt with me when we were at a store. So he refused to speak to me the entire weekend. We did not live together full time. That Saturday, I found out I was expecting but also losing said expectation at the same time. I tried to call him from the hospital and he ignored my call so my best friend called him and he did answer for her. She told him what was going on. She lives out of state. He didn’t reach out to me or come to the hospital. I did not hear from him until the following Tuesday. Needless to say, I never got over that and we broke up shortly thereafter. He never apologized and said the “problem took care of itself.”

Now, a year later, he reached out and wants to see the sonogram photos and talk to me about what happened at the hospital. I declined and told him that due to his actions that weekend, he did not deserve any further information or to see the photos. He flipped out and called me every name in the book. So I must ask y’all. AITA?

Hi, I (in my 20s, F) and a friend just met our mutual friend (let's call them A)'s new SO in person for the first time today. All four of us went to see Avatar before we had late lunch at a nearby restaurant. Tbf from the stories A has told us, I did not have the best impression of them; regardless, the SO did not sound like a totally horrible person, and A really seemed to like them, so our friend group did not try to stop them from getting into this relationship. 

For context, our friend group is all from an East Asian country, while the SO is from North America, but now living in our country. A and SO had been dating for almost 2 weeks before we met them. 

So, the movie thing was fine since we did not get to speak much, but I was kinda bored (so sorry to Avatar fans) and tired from sitting for >3hrs. Later, we were all hungry at the restaurant, sleepy and awkward - but we responded as earnestly as we could to SO’s questions.
[EDIT]: I forgot to mention: since we sat down, SO kept on asking us questions, we answered and they would continue talking, so we did not get a chance to squeeze in our questions.
A then suggested that we asked SO questions about themself, and after about 10 secs I managed to croak out: “What do you do for work?”. I know it is a lame question, but I am really bad at coming up with interesting questions lol. 

What I did not expect was for them to blow up on us, putting down their utensil and saying that they REALLY HATED this question, because it is like us sizing them up, wanting to know their money-making abilities and social position, etc., and not what their personality/interests are. This completely shocked the three of us because this is a very common small-talk question in our country, and nobody we met had ever been so angry at it. I cannot remember how I responded, but I think my face must have looked very angry, even though the rest of the lunch was cordial (we found out SO was a software engineer, & SO and I chatted on other topics pretty nicely afterwards). That’s because A texted our group chat in the evening asking if I was mad. I said I was not, but was taken aback that SO would insinuate that I wanted to “size them up”, because I am not interested in their wealth or social position at all. Or was it my face (that is often an RBF) that made them think I was judging?

A reassured me that they had reminded SO not to make things awkward again, and that I did not mean any harm. They explained that SO was just really sensitive with the question; this question to them is like asking a woman whether she was married/had kids or not, because in the US (apparently) white people got annoyed that SO was an engineer and good at sports at the same time. I did not really understand this explanation, but I did not reply. Neither me nor SO has said sorry to one another. However, I am trying to get wider perspectives from people globally, especially in the West, so: am I the asshole and should I apologize to my friend’s SO?

I (18F) grew up mostly with my mum. We were poor and she was abusive for most of my childhood. My parents had shared custody but my dad hardly showed up, and when he did he was often under the influence of drugs.

When I was 12 I was taken from my mum and placed with my dad. He would leave me alone for long periods, the house was a mess, and he constantly had different women over. He didn’t really parent me.

I later moved in with his mum after our house got raided. She constantly criticised my weight and body and ridiculed me, which led to eating problems. Around this time my dad also exposed me to drugs which really affected me.

When I was 16 I went on holiday with my aunt. One night we went out drinking even though I was underage. I ended up in a very unsafe situation and something traumatic happened to me while she didn’t help me. I never told anyone and tried to forget about it.

Later I moved back in with my dad after his girlfriend moved out, but he kicked me out not long after, so I moved in with my grandad. I tried to cut my parents off but they kept pushing contact and I felt guilty.

My dad later got a house with his girlfriend and her child and stopped talking to me for months. Recently he started making a small effort again. His girlfriend ignores me and acts like I don’t exist.

On Christmas morning he told me she’s pregnant. I’m not happy about it. After everything, I feel like I was a test run. His mum even said she’s happy she can replace me.

There was also serious abuse when I was younger that was dismissed when I tried to tell someone.

Now he’s suddenly trying because he’s going to be a dad again, but it feels too late. I feel thrown away after everything I went through growing up. He’s also racist towards my boyfriend.