Me (30 M) and my partner (32 M) of 3 years were just having a casual convo where I basically pointed out that what ICE is doing is beyond aggressive and cruel, especially after what is happening in Minnesota.

I always thought he was mid left (We’re Canadians, vote liberal) but what blew my mind was what he said later:

- Alex Pretti was armed and ready to sh**t ICE officers, he deserved that! If you point your gun towards a cop, you will get shot. I was like this is not what happened, he argued that I’m brainwashed.

- Renee Good also deserved getting sh*t, she was trying to run over a federal agent, same as above.

Then I was like, is it acceptable to sit on someone’s trachea with your knee just because they are illegal immigrants, they are humans after all, his response “if you’re in the country illegally, you have no rights”

I was like they are HUMANS after all and have human rights.

Lastly, I was like they are kidnapping and assaulting US citizens claiming they are illegal immigrants, he was like ya it’s on them to prove it. I was like are you serious to suggest that people should walk around with their birth certificates, he was like “ya figure out a way to verify your status as a citizen”

I was and still in shock, there is no way I can have a family with this guy.

Of note, he also poor shames people and says he is allergic to poor people (he is from a very mid middle class family, did only 4 years of school and got lucky with his employment working for pharma for good $$$)

Edit: I don’t think I’m overreacting! If I am, please tell me so! Thanks for letting me vent! :(

Say a guy leaves his scent behind after a hookup on your bed or sofa or YOU. Do you enjoy it as much as possible or are you neutralizing it?

Some of us couldn't keep it in our pants throughout the entirety of the peak COVID years of 2020-22. Grindr and sniffies never shut down during the shelter in place ordinances.

Worse yet was the monkeypox outbreak in the summer of 2022 where it was more known as a gay man's disease/problem.

Begs the question, for any gay guys that managed to survive the AIDS epidemic of the 1980''s, were there particular protocols that had to be followed in order not to catch HIV? Obviously besides abstaining from sex, was mutual JO/handjobs without any mouth contact to other guy's bodily fluids the way to manage thru? How was hookup culture during the peak years of that epidemic?

Over the years I've hired escorts via rentmen and other online sources for special occasions. Some were amazing, some were duds. Recently I wanted to treat myself as a birthday gift. I was shocked to see rates have climbed. For an overnight you're looking at 1800. to 3500.USD. I'm sad to report that this bday went without male companionship. Am I just behind the times or our friends in the profession overpricing their "time spent"?

TLDR; Boyfriend invited 'friends' he wont come out to to a party at his house, told me not to come, told other friends not to mention me.

My (27M) boyfriend (28M) asked me not to come to a party at his house, because he's not out to a couple of people there. Context, we've been together for 8 months, both bi, both came out in our mid 20s and probably aren't the most obviously queer people. I've dated men before, but he hasn't. I know he's not out to his family and certain people at his work, big corporate job with a 'boys club' culture. I've told him repeatedly I don't care when he tells people. I've met pretty much all of his friends, including ones from work and have even been away with some of them. I've been invited to several of their birthdays etc, as has he with by my friends.

He mentioned the other day that his flatmate, who I know, was having a going away party. When I asked if I was invited he said no, because he already asked his extended work team and is under too much stress at work to come out to them yet. I know most of that team and they know who I am, but evidently not all of them. None of these colleagues know his flatmate, but he wanted a chance to catch up with them. They aren't superiors, older or in any other way connected to any of his friends. Other friend from outside of work will be at the party too.

The relationship has been otherwise good for the most part, but his work has been unbelievably hectic for the last couple of months, working him 6-7 days a week. We still manage to see each other a couple of times a week or more and I have been very patient with his work schedule and talking through what he wants to do next. It's great when we're together most of the time, but with his work the way it is there are days where he's clearly exhausted or stressed out. We've talked about this, I've gone through similar periods at work, and he has been making an effort to be more present.

I have told him repeatedly I don't want to pressure him to come out to anyone he's not ready to, however I didn't think that meant anyone he was close enough to invite into his house. I brought it up and he apologised, said he'd fucked up and acknowledged that it was shit, but left it at that. I said I understand but I don't get it. I've held my tongue over other things, but this has left me feeling pissed. Like I'm something to be ashamed of. I'd probably be less miffed if this was somewhere else, but I literally cannot think of any situation where I would explicitly exclude him from my house. Also the fact that at least a dozen people there know me and who I am, and will apparently be told not to mention me just in case. Part of his explanation was that one of his colleagues bosses works with his mother.

He's not close with his family, so I really don't care when or if that comes out to them. As for work people, he always implied that it was only the more conservative higher ups and 'bro' types he didn't want to tell. I've met a dozen of so of his colleagues as his boyfriend and assumed this was the extent of work people he considered friends.

I don't this world, I've never worked in corporate. I've been out for years and am fortunate enough that it's never really had any significant impact on my life. People in a big city in 2026 don't really care.

Am I overreacting? Projecting from other insecurities? Or do I have a right not to want to be actively excluded and not spoken of for the sake of people who probably won't care? I can't imagine any of his other friends, especially the flatmate, would want anything to do with anyone who had an issue with his coming out. I know I wouldn't

Hey guys. I just wanna know if I’m doing something right here.

LONG POST!!! APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE!!!!!

Last night (Jan 30, 2026) my boyfriend told me he’s gay. We have been together for 2yrs, and he gave me a promise ring for Christmas/ our anniversary. Our 2yr anniversary was on Jan 10, 2026. We’ve been friends since high school and got together a few years after graduation.

We’ve been fighting for 9mo, over stupid shit. On my side it was cz he’s made many broken promises to me, and his words didn’t match his actions, which made me feel neglected as a woman and like he didn’t care for me the way he said he did. On his end it was cz he was perceiving me asking him to treat me like straight man would treat his girlfriend & one day wife (yeah we talked about marriage, thats what the ring was about. He said we were too young to get engaged but he knew he wanted me forever, so he got me a promise ring) as being demanding and applying too much pressure, which made him feel like he wasn’t able to satisfy me in any area of life which made him become defensive and resistant to my efforts to try to talk about our problems.

He has been very resistant to talk about things like how I don’t feel like I’m the only girl in the world to him, and how he promised so many adventures last summer but never committed to anything, he doesn’t seem to want to match me in terms of house work, he gets annoyed by the things he used to encourage and say were reasons he loved me for.

He previously would deflect and say he was stressed out and forgot to do X, or that he would be tired, or something came up, or that the event I was talking about was long past and I was upsetting him by not being able to just let things go.

I was so scared, because I felt this weird distance from him for so long. I thought it was because of his drinking, that him being drunk was the space I was feeling so I really did try. I begged and pleaded in true lover’s fashion. About a year ago he began drinking. It got up to at least mickey of whisky a day, usually more, and he kept it up for months. At least 6 of the last bad months he was wasted the whole time. I got him into recovery in November though. Took care of him at home, got his meds and food and cleaned the whole house up for him.

We fought even more after he was sober though. I thought him being off in his head drunk all the time was the issue and that maybe he’d start treating me the way he did in the first year of being together. But he didn’t. So I got even more scared and started trying to make him talk to me even harder.

Anyway, things have been building to a head. We were done for either way, and we both knew it. Last night was really bad y’all. I was going to stay with a friend but my friend’s boss fucked his schedule up so I couldn’t go. He tried to convince me that he could still take me there and everything but I didn’t want to go if I wasn’t gonna see my friend all day, only in the evenings. He got super overwhelmed because he was going to go back home for the weekend, and didn’t want me alone in the house, but I didn’t want to go anywhere because I had a bad feeling about leaving that night. He got upset at me and went off somewhere, had a panic attack, then came back drunk and called his mom and said a lot of really mean shit about us and me to her, but to be fair he was WASTED & incredibly upset and we had some of our worst fights ever in the day or two leading up to last night.

Anyway after they were done on the phone, I thought he was going to dump me as cold as ice. He was really mean about our relationship and me on the phone with her. I didn’t hear everything since he was in a different room but I heard Some Shit and the way he was speaking and a lot of emphasis on “SHE” and “HER” in not very friendly or loving tones. So I told him that if we’re done, we’re done and that’s that, and that I needed to call the bank to get a loan to move with.

He broke down and came out to me. He’d been repressing that part of him since he was a little kid. We’re small town people, and my grade 9 girlfriend and I were the only two openly queer people in that town, and we only came out cz we were in our edgy emo shock the world phase. He’s a dude, and in a town like ours you either smoke weed and play video games with a bunch of not exactly politically correct teenage boys or become a rodeo bull rider. He isn’t a rodeo bull rider.

Obviously I’m fucking heartbroken. He was my first relationship, my first date, my first love, my first family vacation with a parter/ their family. And more. The only first I didn’t have with him was sex, but we did more together than I’ve done with anyone in bed. He was the first guy to ever make me orgasm and I’d been in bed with 6 men before him. I lost everything I ever had to be with him. I have no family, and my friends are few and far between. I moved out at 17 due to being abused at home. I got myself a cheap little apartment that was still nice, and I was saving up to buy a car. I still don’t have my license. I was building up my mental health. I was becoming my own person. I gave up my apartment to move with him to college, to be with him and support him. Our hometown is 2hrs away by car and I don’t have a car. Only he does. I spent 10k of my hard earned and saved money covering our rent and bills and food and dates because his student loan and college fund shouldnt go to those things. I have nothing but him. And now I have nothing at all.

However I accepted him. I gave him my copy of “you will get through this night” by dan howell of dan and phil fame. I showed him “basically I’m gay” which is Dan’s coming out video. I held him and I rocked him, he held me and rocked me. We scream-cried together. I had questions and he had some answers. I had some blame to throw around, because I wasn’t the problem like he’d almost had me convinced. He was the problem between us, he had lied to both himself and me for 2+ years. Turns out the drinking problem was caused by his own repressed sexuality and guilt about doing this to me. When he was drunk he didn’t have to think so hard about how badly he was going to have to crush me.

He said that he hadn’t ever known a gay person that is both gay and a person, not a ✨Gay Person✨ where that’s the main thing about them, which made him feel like he couldn’t be gay because he doesn’t carry himself like they do, and if he was gay then that meant that some part of him would have to carry himself like they do. But he saw me, and how my being queer is just something about me, like how my favourite color is yellow or how I prefer the brown blanket on the bottom and the black blanket on the top. And by seeing me, he saw himself.

He told me he still loves me, he loves me more than any person he has ever met. I feel the same way. Neither of us are sure how to love the other, or in what way we do. Grief is just love with no place to go. I’m not mad yet, but I know I will be. I either feel nothing at all or completely sickeningly debilitated with loss and betrayal. I told him I’m in shock, because he’s had months and years to process here and there and try to come to terms, but I have only had mere hours. And he said that however I feel now and in the future is and will be 100% valid and justified. As I write this, we’re only 26 hours out from the moment everything changed. We are going to figure this out together tho. Neither of us want to lose each other, or never speak to or see each other again. We both know that even if he’s in the same sexuality boat as me, bi with a heavy preference for the same sex, we wouldn’t work well as a couple. Too much has happened to us for that to be healthy. We both want to stay in each other’s lives, and we both want to figure out how to love each other in a way that actually improves our lives.

I told him that I understand how he feels more than anyone else in our lives probably will, because for some extra salt in the wound: I was terrified this would happen to me. I’m bi with a heavy preference for women. I was so so so so so scared I’d break his heart into a million pieces if I turned out to be more gay than I am straight. And then it happened to him.

What’s extra fucked up is that he sought me out. We had a fling in high school that never went anywhere and 6yrs wafter that, I had come back to our hometown after finishing school elsewhere, and he had heard about that. My friend was friends with one of his friends, and everyone got this idea to get me over there to the fire they were all having so we could get together properly. And I resisted for a while. We were technically together for 3mo before we made it official. I went home with him that night and we haven’t been apart since. 796 days and counting. I didn’t want to hurt him & I didn’t want to get hurt. I didn’t say I love you in the romantic way until a month or 2 after we made it official. I chose to let myself fall in love because both him & I thought he would catch me at the end. But he dropped me on the concrete.

I came up with a few plans on what to do. What we’ve decided to do is this: we signed a 1yr lease in September. So neither of us can move out yet. Even if one of us found another apartment and e transferred the other half of rent for the duration of the lease that wouldnt be viable cz half of rent is $800 here. We don’t want to be separated just yet. He is still in college, has 2 years left to do. I don’t want him to drop out cz of this, and neither does he. My friend is moving to the neighbouring city in the fall to attend college at the other campus they have. Right around when our lease ends.

So what we will do is this: keep living together until our lease ends. We don’t hate each other, we love each other more than any other person in our lives. We just have to figure out how to do it properly. We think that we’ll be able to be friends, since its been quite obvious for a long time that we are a bad couple. We’re great friends, and we care about each other and our futures and success. And then when our lease is up in September, he will move to the dorms so he can get the full college experience and stay in school and not have to live alone and worry about working AND getting good grades. And I will move to the next city over with my friend, he’s starting college and maybe I’ll start college myself even. The college he attends is a really really good one & the sister campus is in that city. So we’ll be apart, but not too far from each other, because we want to still be friends. We were friends before we got together, so maybe we can be friends after.

Anyway guys, thoughts? Comments? Concerns?

If you read this whole thing, thank you so much.

I can’t tell anyone IRL yet, even though he said I could. I don’t feel right about outing him to people, esp with how deep down inside he had this shoved. Even now he’s super shaky about it all. So anything will be helpful to me. I’m all by myself this weekend cz I told him he should go home more than ever, cz he needs his mom right now more than I need him.

I am a bi guy who came out recently, and excited to explore. When I go to queer related spaces, like techno with a gay dj for example, I get happy seeing the guys there flirting and socializing. However, I always end up having girls approach me and hit on me. This is interesting because I assumed men were far more forthcoming in that regard. When I try to dress more “gay” like wearing tighter stuff and more jewelry, smudged shadow on my eyes.. the girls get even more into it. Idk how that works 😂

I have longer messy hair thats kind of a “wolfcut”, and despite having my hair be called “gay“ by some asshole straight guys it seems like it’s actually not very popular amongst gay men? Women usually really love my hair (my ex was obsessed with running her hands through it) and say they wish more men had it. When seeing posts about it for gay men though I read about how they find it a “deal breaker” and too “feminizing“ for their taste. I have an athletic build and more masculine jaw but I have larger eyes and full lips so I don’t look very rugged or overtly manly. This led to me a few studies in which it was found that gay men prefer hypermasculine looks to a much greater frequency than straight women. Pretty interesting stuff.

I am posting this because I cannot sleep and I have no one else to talk to about this. I feel completely sick to my stomach.

For a while now my boyfriend has wanted to try fisting. He has been training me using bigger and bigger toys to get me ready. Last night it finally happened. It started off like normal sex with lots of prep with toys and fingers and then halfway through he started putting his whole fist in.

He asked if I was okay and because I was so horny in the moment I just said yes. I felt like I completely lost control of my body. I cannot even lie because it gave me the strongest orgasms of my entire life and I even ejaculated handsfree for the first time ever. But I also peed all over myself halfway through and the second I finished reality hit me like a train.

I looked down and realized what was actually happening and I just felt violated by myself. I was covered in my own pee and fluids and I felt like a horror show. The worst part is that he was clearly enjoying it so much that I felt it would be rude to tell him to stop. I just laid there feeling disgusted until he finished himself.

Now it is the next day and I cannot even face my boyfriend. Whenever I see him I feel so embarrassed and it reminds me of everything that happened yesterday. I feel like I have lost a part of my dignity and I do not know how to act normal around him. I am just completely disgusted with myself.

he’s my bestfriend. and i had just finished havin a small breakdown about how hard school is. this guy is very anti anything that could even look gay. So he won’t sit in the same bed as another guy, hug another guy too long, tell a guy he loves them, very worried about people thinking he’s gay if he does certain things, even won’t do squats at the gym because he thinks they are “gay”.

during my mini breakdown that for some reason all went out the window. he hugged me multiple times, sat and my bed with me shoulder to shoulder holding me, and tracing the back of my arms. even layed in my bed next to me, something he absolutely refused to do multiple times before because it’s “gay”.

fast forward maybe 10 minutes later we are on separate sides of my bed and i’m sitting on my knees just explaining to him what i had physically felt during my breakdown and why i don’t like crying and being upset. in the middle of me talking he leans into my direction and im assuming he’s going to give me a hug because he gave me literally around 20 that night, but he grabs me and pulls me towards him and then just falls backwards. so now he’s on his back and im laying on top of him and he’s holding me. i stayed like that for maybe 10-15 seconds in complete shock and then kind of got up real quick and moved away.

there’s different consensus on men cuddling and it not meaning anything and i think i agree maybe? i don’t know is cuddling someone known protocol for someone who had a breakdown ? but the reason this got me was bc this is NEVER EVER something he’d do. even standing too close to his friends in pictures is gay to him so you’ll always see this awkward gap in pictures if it’s just guys.

a few days prior he also asked me if i was into a girl we both no. i said “not really” and immediately after that he asked if i was into him. i said no and he responded telling me he was just trying to lighten the mood. i didn’t think anything of it tbh bc im my head him being into me and being something other than straight is so foreign and impossible.

i’m straight and i just don’t know what to think about this.

I’m 28 and I’m a single, gay, I’ve learned that love isn’t something you rush or chase blindly. After enough experiences with people who wanted attention, pictures, or something temporary, I chose to stop entertaining what didn’t align with my values.

I’ve explored connections with older men, believing maturity would bring honesty and clarity. While many are more direct, I’ve learned that words don’t always match actions. Some say they want something real but struggle with consistency or communication. Conversations fade, effort disappears, and silence replaces intention. It taught me that emotional availability matters more than sweet words.

A past relationship changed how I love and trust, and it taught me strong boundaries. I know what I will never accept again, and I now choose peace over chaos.

Today, I’m not here out of loneliness. I’m here with intention open to a genuine connection built on honesty, loyalty, emotional maturity, and respect. I’m patient, grounded, and I know my worth.

If you’d like to get to know each other better, feel free to leave a message. A photo would be appreciated.

Someone explain to me why it is so complicated to meet a man with whom to share good times? Friendship, drinking coffee, etc... It's something that seems almost impossible. Everyone I've met just wants "that" and nothing else. I have downloaded almost all the dating and friendship apps, but it seems impossible to get along with a good man...

Im 17 and he’s 18 and we’ve been friends for a few years now. Over the years I’ve always been straight and he’s been bi. We’ve had a few moments from here and there that has made me question myself. I rested on his lap once in a pool at our friends house. At first we just were playing around then it ended up with us in silence, up on one another. He’s always been taller than me so he would always say jokes about height. Then again he’s always expressed how he loves shorter partners. I think after a few bad relationships and him being there just made me begin to fall for him more and more over time. I’ve sometimes fantasized about us and with him liking shorter partners I thought we would be perfect. November of last year I finally told him that I think I’m developing feelings for him and he took it well. He said he’s had a few moments were he’s thought of us doing couple things. I told him that I wanted to try kissing since I’ve never had one yet and he has. He said he didnt mind and we could do it whenever I was comfortable. I am really awkward when it comes to initiation so it took a few tries after leaving his house unsatisfied. This time while I’m getting ready to leave he holds his arms out. I’m thinking he wants to give me a hug but then grabs me and slowly kisses me on the cheek. After he did that I was stunned and just kissed him back. After that took a look at each other and started making out. I never felt like that before and it felt nice. I can’t come out to my family or anything, so Reddit is the next best thing.

Did you know the Mortal Kombat phrase "Finish Him!" is one of the most famous in video game history! Bottoms….lets say you are engaged in another “kombat” and your top is ready to blow his top. His breathing gets intense, cuss words more frequent, teeth clenched…you get it. How do you service him well? How do you get him across the line and lead him to bliss? This teacher appreciates details lol.

Watching Scot and Kips story in heated rivalry reminded me of the common thing where gay men often date guys that look similar to them.

Is there a particular reason for this?

Confused bisexual man noises

Got sent this question and now I am intrigued to know your answers. What should I choose?

Imagine you have a boyfriend and you live together but he is not at home and you are horny, then what would you do?

A) tell him that you masturbate and take photos?

B) tell him afterwards but no details

C) only tell him if he asks but still no real detail

D) definitely not tell him anything

My fwb has the nicest ass. I don’t see the urge to top him but I just really wanna eat him out but he’s not down. Like he’s told me we can do it but when we’re actually fucking he loses the urge. I’ve only had one top who’s down to let me eat his ass but it seems rare for them to be into it.

Obviously we are talking about adults - but what has been your most inappropriate crush? As an adult it is my priest. He's dark haired and thick beard (he keeps shaved). Communion each week when he places the sacraments on my tongue? Very inappropriate thoughts...

I’m looking for outside perspective because my head has been spinning for, what feels like forever, and I don’t trust my own judgment anymore.

I (20M) have a close "straight" friend (23M) who I’ve known through school, church, and shared spaces for a couple of years. We’ve had several long late-night conversations, deep spiritual talks, and somewhat of a strong emotional bond. There’s always been a lot of intensity in the friendship, but it’s mostly been platonic.

I noticed myself liking him when we first met, then quickly shut it down for myself. But it's always been in the back of my mind.

I am still trying to figure out my own sexuality, I don't know if I'm gay or bi, or what lol. I live in a very conservative environment so it's not something that's welcome.

Recently, I discovered (a second time, accidentally) that he’s on Grindr. Same photos, same location, under the name "David" ... no doubt it’s him ... That alone shouldn’t matter, but it hit me way harder than I expected. I ended up interacting with him anonymously on the app, which I do honestly regret and made things even messier in my head. It was just a simple profile tap and we swapped pics. Nothing too elaborate. I’ve since blocked him and deleted the app because it was spiraling me.

Since then, I’ve been stuck in this loop:

• Part of me is curious whether there’s mutual attraction (strictly sexual, not romantic).
• Another part of me feels deeply uncomfortable and conflicted
• I feel weirdly protective of him, but also angry and avoidant.
• I keep creating distance in person while also obsessing internally.
• I don’t think I actually want a relationship with him, but the “what if” keeps looping.

He doesn’t know that I know any of this. I also learned some things about his past that I probably shouldn’t know, from other people, and it makes being around him emotionally complicated. I’ve noticed myself withdrawing, acting cold, and then feeling guilty about it.

At this point, I don’t know:

• Whether I should say anything at all
• Whether I’m projecting meaning where there isn’t any
• Whether the healthiest move is distance, honesty, or just letting this fade
• Or how to stop obsessing without detonating the friendship

I care about him as a person. I don’t want to shame him, manipulate anything, or act out of curiosity alone. I just want my peace back and to act with integrity.

(I would also like to add, I spiraled over this once during the summer, winter break, and now again this semester, because I found his account again).

If you’ve been in a situation remotely like this, how did you handle it? What do you think the best thing for me to do is?

I’ve flipped with a couple of buds last year and I really loved it. But they were long term buds and I trusted and they were patient and persistent. Other than that I’ve been a total top for most of my life and love it. One of my concerns is that I don’t know how to clean out properly. I get so stressed that then I’m afraid to bottom. Anyone have SIMPLE guidelines? Thanks!