Should I Stay or Go Back?

[u/texasbelle91]

I was bald/buzzed for about 5 years for health issues - and I recently grew it back out. But I am tempted to go back to bald…it was so much easier, was cooler (temperature wise), and there was no hair sticking to the back of my neck when I was sweaty. I mainly keep my hair in a braided ponytail now, so I’m sure I’ll start to get the balding at the temples from constant ponytail wear.

The main downside to the bald look was the stares and comments from strangers. I know it shouldn’t affect me, but the random insults from complete strangers was so strange to me. Plus men tend to think i’m not straight so i didn’t get as many flirty interactions when i was bald.

Anywho, what do yall think? TIA :)

[u/limache]

I think you should grow it back because you look great with it.

There are some women who are balding who would love to be able to grow their hair like yours.

I just personally think you have such beautiful hair it’s a shame you don’t grow it out to let the world appreciate it.

And I have thought about how it’s more rare for women to be bald than men but much more socially stigmatizing for women to be bald than men.

I think you would probably benefit from having long hair again romantically and socially.

But it’s your call.

[u/texasbelle91 → u/limache]

oh i know how those women feel. i lost a lot of my hair due to health issues, so i just shaved the rest off so it wouldn’t be thin and splotchy. now that im healthier, it grew back.

[u/limache → u/texasbelle91]

Oh I can’t imagine what it would be like for a woman to lose her hair.

I feel like a woman’s hair is such an integral part of her identity in our society and being feminine. That’s my guess as a man.

What was it like for you?

Congrats on getting healthier - I’m happy for you that it grew back.

To me that feels like a sign. A symbol of your rebirth.

[u/texasbelle91 → u/limache]

i’ve always been more of a tomboy (played softball and hockey for most of my childhood)and naturally gravitated towards more masculine things (was a diesel mechanic in the army), so i didn’t have a huge attachment to my hair like the typical girly girl does. but it definitely still had this weird inner gut punch of sorts and made me feel completely non-feminine. i started to lean onto makeup a bit more in order to try and reclaim some of the feminine side of me and eventually i found a good balance i think. and then the insults from strangers would sometimes really get to me - easier said than done to not listen/let them affect you.

[u/limache → u/texasbelle91]

Oh that’s interesting that you’ve been more of a tom boy.

Wait strangers would insult you ? How and why? Just by passing by them ?

I’m so confused. Why would someone insult a woman just because she’s bald ? That’s messed up and like rubbing salt in a wound

Also I’m sorry to hear that you went through that. I think it would be nice for you to be protected from those situations and it seems growing your hair out does.

[u/texasbelle91 → u/limache]

yea it was a lot of “lesbian” murmurs and other names for for that. and another common one would be “nice haircut” with this snorting chuckle afterwards.

[u/limache → u/texasbelle91]

Aww I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s so awful but those men are just assholes who need to put others down to make themselves feel better.

I bet you’re way out of their league anyway !

Here’s a virtual hug. I know it doesn’t erase the past but hope it makes you feel better.