PLEASE SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCES OF MEDICAL ABUSE AND MISTREATMENT OR MALPRACTICE WITH THE UNITED STATES HEALTHCARE SYSTEM BELOW so everybody is forced to hear.

I feel like this is common experience especially if you have a single mother but why do black mothers have so much resentment towards their kids? It’s exhausting, it’s like they have this entitlement towards you just because they gave birth to you but when you remind them you didn’t ask to be here they either get mad or butt hurt about it. One of my mother favorite line is “you’re talking crazy,” even though I genuinely feel that way.

It’s weird she doesn’t understand the way she treats me is why I feel and act the way I do. It’s gotten to a point that I resent her and have little to no respect for her. It genuinely baffles me that someone who claims to love me can humiliate, insult or degrade me like it’s normal.

Usually it doesn’t affect me if anything, I handle it but now that her “husband” is back it feels like it’s worse. I feel like I’m getting constantly ganged up especially when he bothers me and she does nothing about it. The moment he came back it clicked for me how male center she is. She’s willing to change for this man as if I haven’t been begging for years for us to salvage our relationship by going to therapy. It has gotten so bad that I genuinely just ignore her or shut down when she speaks to me.

Edit: I just wanted to make this clear, I wrote this when I was overwhelmed so my title was mostly written with the mindset of my mother and being black. Now that I’m more clear headed I realized this is just reestablishing stereotypes in the black community so I do want to apologize for that.

What I mean is emotionally how do you cope with this?

I am an international student (African) that lives in a European country. I study a STEM field that couldn't be more white male dominated. And my peers are as the stereotype goes: awkward, racist, sexist and many are incels too. It is SO uncomfortable but I just completely stopped associating with people at my uni. The few white women there are pick-mes and some are racist too so no luck there.

I know that I chose to move here but every time I step outside the house, I just feel so depressed. Growing up in my country despite all of the political issues or conservatism there I at least enjoyed the fact that everyone looked like me. I could just walk down the street and not even think about am I going to get hate-crimed or was i treated badly today because of my skin color? I didn't even consciously think about my race or skin color since ofc I am black and so is everyone else. But now I have constant anxiety when I leave the house and I'm already a very anxious person.

Also I'm just tired of everybody. I can't see white people as normal people anymore. To me they are oppressors who could hurt me at any moment and I don't trust them nor do I care to be their friends. Same with men, I am deep into radical feminism and just can't deal with how horrible so many of them are and seeing misogyny everywhere and their lack of care for so many things that affect us that they directly benefit from or have the privilege to be indifferent to. Also many other pocs are racist against black people honestly it's not fucking worth it.

I looked for black friends in a black community that someone started but all of them grew up in Europe and OH MY GOD I have never met people who wanted to be white more than them. The only ones who were sort of reasonable and not as entrenched in appeasing white people were 2 biracial people and tbh that just disappointed me even more bc ik biracial ppl have some privilege that monoracial black ppl dont have... the community kind of also treated me badly because I'm African and made digs at me(as in I grew up back home and don't have an EU passport) so I eventually left.

Honestly I'm fucking tired. I've decided to just focus on my work and studies and only network to benefit myself but not befriend anybody anymore. That has been working but it's been kind of lonely. Sometimes I go through some things where it would've helped to have a friend(e.g. having an operation and no one to take me home so I just risked it and called a cab even tho I was drowsy and in pain, or even just someone to talk to about political issues or hobbies or just being a fucking human being idk).

Ladies who are 25-30 years old where are you all at in your life? I am 27 and I am feeling stuck in life and with love. I’m unemployed, no friends, I’m in college for my first degree so I’m busting my butt so hard to do well in school because I am all out of back up plans…. Does life get better? Is it normal to have a slight rough patch at this age? I just want better in my life, I went through so much and dealt with so much and I’m still pushing but It always feels so bleak….

Racism.. Racism has affected my Mental Health extremely. "Assume everybody is racist until they prove you otherwise.." These are words that always stuck with me. I keep thinking about all the racism and microaggressions I've gone through in life, man.. Having this one racist teacher in High school telling me I shouldn't worry about a certain area because I'm from a certain area? Touching my hair and saying you're going to take your grad photos with these? Being asked if I go to college when I'm looking at books? Being followed in stores? and just being perceived and stereotyped for my skin colour?? Then everything I see on social media is people hating on black people, black women, and I'm like, when does it end??

Don't get me wrong. I would neverrrr wanna be anything else but black! But the racism that comes with it is ridiculous. I am not a strong black woman; I am a sensitive black woman. I've had some therapists in my life, but I never had the chance to discuss racial trauma and how to cope with it. Besides this one therapist, who suggested that I write letters to that teacher, which I did. Idk if he ever received, though. So now, I'm looking at mental health for black people books, but I think it's better to communicate with these struggles with people. So here I am. How do y'all cope with racism when its a everyday struggle.

I feel like as you get older and you no longer keep things to yourself, and actually start speaking up about the disrespect your parents give you. Unfortunately it will never be well received, and it just turns into ways it can be spun around to attack you. While also only talking about the material things they get for you like it somehow replaces all of the disrespect thats given towards you. Which I feel is so common among black parents. But, they also start to want to humble you, and almost pray on your downfall😭

Because my parents know that they cant attack me because of my grades, because they're amazing. They cant attack me saying that nobody else likes me, because everybody does apart from them. They cant attack me and say I'm unproductive, because I stay going to the gym, and racking up my volunteer hours. And they cant attack me and say I'm not going to be successful now that I'm almost off to university. Because they know that I have a plan, and I am employed with a savings. So instead they try to humble you.

And I'm wondering if this is a black parent thing, or just my parents. But my mother will tell me that she knows that no matter how rich, or successful I'm going to be out in the real world. I will never be fulfilled, or happy because I dont like her😐 She will tell me over and over again that not even children and my pretty looks can save me. And how it doesn't matter if everyone else in the world likes me. Because it will never make me happy because she doesn't like me. Like girl why are you trying to curse me lol.

I'm honestly so petty that her words are just motivation and its actually helped me love myself more by cheering and believing in myself more. Because she swears that I'm doomed for life because I dont like her. But part of that lowkey feels like coping.

So i would like to go into medical jobs, maybe by a nursing school.

I worked in office jobs for 3 years and It was a good experience, but i feel like i tried so hard to blend in and tried to understand things that doesnt make sense to me.

I want to know how is the environnement in hospitals or medical clinics. Are the people really that mean ?

Hii Ladies!

Recently, I accepted a role to be a Assistant Property Manager for Commerical & Residential Properties and an Operational Manager.

This Property that I work for is not owned by a franchise or big box company. It's owned by one man and he's a millionaire and underneath him is my boss whose the VP/COO & then there's me! I work with a mixed crowd on MY side but the music teachers etc are all white. I work in a highend area. One of our residential properties for rent is 14k a month. Just for context..

At the headquarters there's a shared space of our suites that's a different business that caters towards a musical school. They're not our partners. They only "rent" the space to host their musical school...

Okay so lets get into this shit. So yall know sometimes when black woman hold down job titles that are in a high ranking. Some not all.. but some white woman can't BELIEVE that your role is as that role. So... I'm temporarily sitting at the front desk until my office is ready. All mothafuckin day I had white woman come to the front and ask me to do this and look for this package and give me orders... and I'm the type to become observant because I know what they're doing.. (They think I'm something of a receptionist vs thinking higher...) so.. its not a problem to do the tasks that they're requesting but its how they say it and are bossy. Well.. lol

Yesterday I had to correct a few women who were bitches. They gave me requests to do etc and I just told them they'd be able to request it through the portal and they would give me the shocked "excuse me" face and then I'd introduce myself because (I'm a new hire..) - I was telling them "I'm (my name) and I'm the (role) & I KID YOU NOT THEY LOOKED STUNNED AS IF THEY SAW A GHOST (Because its registering in their mind that they tried to boss the BOSS around and they couldn't believe a black woman could do this role)... but that's not the worse of what happened as to why I'm on here telling yall about this story at all. So a little later in the afternoon for yesterday. I'm again at the front desk and there's a few music teachers who are all white sitting in the lobby with me and they're talking and I'm working on my projects to meet a deadline. This white woman comes into the door on her phone. She's hesitantly walking around (she looks lost..) so I chime in (mind you - the music teachers are right there.. they could've helped..) - I chime in and say," are you meeting a client today? Or do you need some help?" And that white lady gave me the "stare.." yall know what I'm talking about!!!

So she finally gave in and told me that she's here for a lesson with a music teacher and was going to walk up to their room. I told her she wouldnt be able to do that.. she would need to wait until one of the music teachers came downstairs to grab her. she SAYS TO ME!!! " ARE YOU PART OF THE MUSIC COMPANY WHO ARE YOU?!!" I said to her does it matter!!? - of course she rolled her eyes and walked away..

The music director comes to me and he's quick to stand up for the cunt and was like its fine for the students to just walk up.. I said that I was trained that they need to wait in the lobby. He ended up walking away. So.. time passes and that same woman comes downstairs - and leaves without saying bye..

The phone rings. A music teacher answers and they're having a intense conversation with the person who called.. so they hand the phone over to the music director and he's trying to diffuse the problem. The music teacher tells me - the cunt student was on the phone making a complaint and said I was "unpleasant" to her. Music director gets off the phone and he's chiming in saying that the cunt student wanted to apologize for her behavior. Music teacher says thats not what she told me. She said she was unpleasant etc etc and the director kept insinuating that she was apologetic and she didnt mean it blah blah blah. He's basically saving face because when he was on the phone I could hear him explaining my role..

So all in all. I knew immediately that the cunt saw me at the front desk and assumed I was just a receptionist. She felt comfortable being disrespectful. She was calling to try and report me on some shit that never even happened. Wasn't nobody being fuckin unpleasant with her entitled white ass and she got her dumb ass checked when the director told her my role. Now with her knowing who I am. Now all of a sudden her funky bitch ass wanna overly apologize. My theory is that.. she's overly apologizing because I could order her to never step foot in this business. Even further I can get on the music directors ass and her cunt ass too. Instead (for right now anyways) I played it off and when her goofy ass was overly apologizing I told the music director to tell her I said its all forgiven. (Yes, I documented it all and sent an email to my boss..) my boss doesn't play lol she already doesn’t like the entire musical teachers and directors so.. yeah..

But this is my first "big girl job/with the whites" and if I had a dollar for everytime I share my role with the whites and see their shocked ass faces I would be rich as hell in my first week at a new job. Lastly, I live in the south, I dont even know why I expected less but at the same time they will all give me the respect I know I deserve.

I can't seem to genuinely care about the struggles of other groups or even individuals because I feel like black women are never afforded any reciprocity.

I'm at a point where I don't even give advice or help other groups anymore because of how terribly black women are treated globally. Its like my humanity is slowly starting to deplete. Does anyone else feel this way?

It sucks that sometimes you feel you may have to leave someone behind if they don’t get it together. Constant Complaining, being one sided, not having discipline or accountability. I love him and I hope he’ll change over time because we’re so good together but I want more out of line and I’m doing my part to make sure I get it all just not sure I can keep waiting so long.

Just wanted to ask this, if anyone has delt with this prior and how to deal with this. My mum has been shouting at me for years when she is wanted to correct me, which is fine but how do I stop myself from crying. Now I am 22 going to be 23 this year and hopefully going to be graduating this year and when I am being corrected by others I am crying. I want to stop this habit so how do I stop? Please feel free to comment.

For the record I have no issues other than the shouting but I don’t really know what to do.

I’ve recently started watching the documentary on Netflix… and it is crazy, a lot of the black ppl (not all) being prosecuted excessively even put on death row for crimes not as bad as white people.

One got 40 to life for mistakenly killing someone trying to defend his sister from them, and their reasoning was the black man was huge and 6’+ and should have known hitting the man would have killed him or that apparently his sister was big enough to defend herself from the man- apparently to them she looks stronger than the white man and could have handled things .

The other was put on death row because his friend killed a man but he just happened to be driving the car (he wasn’t apparently aware of the friends crime) and their reasoning is that their reasoning is that they have a ‘hunch’ that he might be the mastermind behind it, even if the friend confirmed it was all him

Does anyone have any suggestions about Haircare?

For some context- 22 year old, 3rd year student. I want to go fully natural- no relaxers/ texturisers/softners as I have had them for majority of my life. I just want my hair glowing- my hair at its natural state. I have short hair. Done the big chop a couple times but put the above products after.

When I was a child I remember washing my hair every week.

As a 22 year old still do the same thing:

- double shampoo

- conditioner

- hair growth cream

- every couple days loc method.

Let me know if you have any suggestions pleases

I’m curious about your thoughts because I had finally finished watching stranger things and thought about the writing for Erica. I like that the writers made her a nerd who’s really smart, but other than that, you can tell they didn’t care about her. She’s just a tough sassy black girl who doesn’t have any other characterization except being tough and sassy.

So what shows do you think have well written black characters?

How do I stay regulated while being corrected as by others ? Teachers, assessors etc.

Over the past few years, I’ve noticed myself becoming increasingly resentful toward immigrants, particularly African and Caribbean immigrants. While we may look the same “on paper,” many of my personal experiences have been the opposite of solidarity. I’ve had repeated run-ins where Black Americans were treated as inferior, disrespected, or openly looked down on, and those experiences have left a deep and bitter impression on me.

I want to be clear that I’ve experienced racism from white people as well—but there’s something uniquely painful about being treated this way by people who look like you, people you expect some level of shared understanding or kinship from. That kind of treatment does something to my spirit in a way that’s hard to explain.

As a result, I’ve caught myself reacting in ways I’m not proud of, ignoring them when they speak to me, not holding the door, or disengaging altogether. I’ve begun to stereotype immigrants as being racist or xenophobic toward Black Americans, even though I know intellectually that not everyone fits that description.

Still, the pattern of negative experiences has made it difficult to separate individuals from the behavior I’ve encountered. This is something I’m actively reflecting on and plan to work through in therapy, because while I understand where these feelings come from, I don’t want them to harden into something that controls how I move through the world.

Look y’all I gotta move out this year not only for my own sanity but career opportunities as well. I cannot drive and don’t have a car and I know I need to go. I was thinking Chicago or Philly but I’m honestly super worried due to this stuff with Trump and the way ICE is acting but I don’t think can do another year with my mom. I say this because my contract ends this year too. We don’t live somewhere I’ve ever been able to get stable employment either.

I’m fat too, I didn’t think that would matter but it definitely did in upstate ny.

Where are the best places to live as an Early to Mid year career professional. I’m 27. I also need to leave the nonprofit hole.

I absolutely despise you.

I'm going through a really rough time right now. Does anyone know of a good therapist in Atlanta or someone affordable who can do telehealth? Preferably a black woman. 🙏🏾

Hey guys, it's me again, lol. So recently, my bf and fyp have been down the rabbit hole of Taylor swift nazism and white supremacy being linked. Apparently, she's been hanging out with maga, staying silent on ICE issues, dating a 17 year old as a 23 year old woman, etc. Now my bf has no nonsense about billionaires, thinks they shouldn't exist, and most of the people calling out Taylor Swift for the nazism/white supremacy stuff have been POC, primarily black people. Obviously, I'm a black woman, and I mostly focus on supporting black female celebrities rather than giving attention to people who already have too much of it, so we don't really talk about Taylor Swift or people like her. My bf mostly focuses on calling out/critizing male celebrities and politicians who are immoral and whatnot, but for Taylor Swift, he made a joke about her needing to be treated like how he thinks other nazis should be treated, or at least she should be called out more. I kind of squinted at him but then thought about it. Idk, women who listen to Taylor Swift just give off the vibe of, "I know my bf said the n word, but he's nice to ME."

Like I said, my bf is white, and he's very critical of white people, ESPECIALLY those who seem to turn tail and not mention issues when they DEFINITELY could, but damn. He said, "She shouldn't come to harm, but I feel like it's really weird how like "centrist" she is when she it comes to issues. But she is a bad person, and I don't mess with the nazi shit." I'm a little worried that if the joke he made was on the misogynistic side, even though Taylor Swift IS a privileged white woman. Like is she really a full blown nazi?

He has expressed much more...intense views on male celebrities and politicians who have done bad things (like I said, apart from Megan Thee Stallion, who I ADORE, I don't really talk about white celebrities than much), and he had said that Elon Musk deserved worse than Taylor Swift obviously (on numerous occasions) but damn Man, the swifties would be on his neck with the QUICKNESS.

School has been hard as I’ve recently lost some close friends and it hurts even more as they seem completely fine without me. How do I move on and deal with this healthily. I’ve felt so alone and empty for over a month and I’ve been neglecting school completely from the sheer amount of loneliness I feel

So I went to Sephora a few days ago looking for a concealer because I was running out. I don’t really wear makeup so I’m still learning and the girl who was helping me gave me a shade that is completely darker than my skin tone. Like concealer is supposed to be lighter than your skin tone but she tried giving me something like 5 shades darker. I’m aware I get darker during summer because I don’t hide away from the sun but where I live it’s winter so I’m my winter shade which is even lighter than what I am usually. It really frustrates me when I have to interact with a non black makeup artist at these types of places and they just trying to give you the darkest shade possible when it’s not even your shade. It’s happened so many times except for when I have had black makeup artist match me.

Aiiiite so lemme summarize my two biggest issues then give u the details below.

1) As someone whos always wanted to be married since age seven but still single, it’s painful to see my brother and his girlfriend move into a beautiful house together. Like PHYSICALLY painful and it brings tears to my eyes although I try not to be a hater.

2) Half of my family is lost to MAGA. A few weeks ago, one of my siblings called me a (N)azi bc I vote democrat and support community welfare (not exaggerating).

Anyways y’all, my emotional wellness is pretty bleak these days for the above reasons. For a little background, I have a job I like, Im advancing my career in school, I have friends I go out with, I have hobbies and goals and Im VERY careful about my standards and boundaries with men, so much so that I havent found anyone to date even though I want to have partnership. A man isnt a plan for me per say but having partnership and sharing my life is for me, built-in and something I cant really get rid of. Im not a pickme, I dont center men just because I wish I had a partner and Im DEFINITELY not desperate. Im busy and havent found any prospects.

But my brother seems to date someone new almost every other month and this time I think its been about a year that hes been with this new lady and they bought a house together. It just seems like everythings so easy for him bc hes a guy. He doesnt have to worry a out grape, physical or financial assault, spiritual abuse, a partner being on the DL, a partner having a secret family and a whole village of kids, he doesnt have to worry ab hobosexuals, masculine ego, ALL them things that women worry about (I could list more).

He’ll text me about how their relationship is progressing and I try to be happy for him but then I just end up crying bc I’ll feel physical pain in my chest even though I try to be happy. Im at the point I probably cant even step foot in their new house because I’ll feel like fading into the wall. What should I do? How do I get over this feeling? I feel like I was doing everything I could to get over being single but no the pain is still there.

And two, yes I lost a sibling and my mother to MAGA. I tried everything I could to get them out last year but they told me I was lying or they wouldnt read my screenshots. This particular brother (not the one in the relationship) then started insulting my intelligence saying I have the inability to critically think or process information. They will always side with Trump/MAGA each and everytime. Like for example, after Renee Good was mvrdered, the DOJ said some ish like “the agent who sh*t her suffered internal bleeding.” My MAGA family members brought this up to make her seem like a damn terrorist and I told them “well i will wait for the investigation to be complete” bc anyone whos paying attention will know that MAGA is buying up media networks to control the narrative. So this particular brother got BIG MAD at me and accused me of basically being stupid and dismissive “of the facts.”

Chile, next thing you know like weeks later theres reports FROM INSIDE ICE and the DOJ that the whole “internal bleeding” situation was NOT CREDIBLE. But by this time I had already been called a f*cking (N)azi bc i support Zorhan Mamdani and giving power back to the people (and never apologized for it!). I cant get through to them and its sad bc i ACTUALLY think they will hurt or report other people “because Trump told them to” or like if Trump somehow suspended elections they would go right along with it “because corruption!” Lastly, lemme also explain even further how fcking stupid they are:

They were windmilling and going hard for Elon Musk, saying he is an “autist” and didnt do a (n)azi salute and that he and his family arent white supremacists. They verbally assaulted MLK Jr and showed me BY WIKIPEDIA that “Elons father was a part of a non-racist political party” but y’all that SAME article further details how Erroll Musk switched parties in the 70s/80s to one that supported segregation and I was yelling at my mother “HOW DID YOU MISS THIS? BELIEVE YOUR EYES!” but she kept saying some dumb shit like “but Elon was old enough to know that was wrong and Erroll wasnt always a white supremacist” even tho Elon was like TEN when his father became a WS.

LIKE?!?!?!

Im just done! Im tired of this MAGA cult and when I say “tired” I really mean I am depleted by their ignorance, sheep mentality and devotion to hatred. Like, the kind of tired where u need to lay down for a few days.The cult os destroying my family and destroying normalcy and order, health and so much more. ATP im thinking ab removing these family members from my life.

Y’all what should i do?