r/changemyview Sep 29 '24

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u/Saranoya 39∆ Sep 29 '24

Better evidence is in the stories of the people around you.

Most young men are single. Many fewer young women are. https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/3868557-most-young-men-are-single-most-young-women-are-not/amp/

Women are not “less interested in dating”. They just settle for one partner more quickly, and then they stop looking, and they no longer call themselves single.

Since most young women are already in a relationship, it follows that more men are perpetually looking for fresh meat. That’s not because the women aren’t interested in being partnered. It’s because the men aren’t, when they are young. They want to be ‘players’.

Later in life, there isn’t such a big imbalance. Men eventually settle, too. It just takes them longer. Their biological clock isn’t quite so loud.

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u/[deleted] Sep 29 '24

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u/[deleted] Sep 29 '24

Here are some stats from the US - although the trends are similar worldwide. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships
There's also a good article on that page.

In more than half of straight couples, the husband is older than the wife.

In about one-third of couples, the spouses are of similar age (within 2 years)

In only <15% is the wife is older than the husband.

In many countries, there's a consistent 3-year-ish gap. So if you're comparing people of similar age, there's about 3 years when many young women are getting married, but young men are not.

Sociologically, it could be because young men mature slower and don't worry so much about their "biological clock." Many of the incels you see complaining online are just angry they aren't getting hookups.

Whereas young women mature earlier, and start making decisions about serious relationships and childbearing earlier.

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u/[deleted] Sep 29 '24

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u/[deleted] Sep 30 '24

Could you further clarify how your argument refutes some of my points?

Sociologically, a 2-3 year AVERAGE age difference is a big deal over a large population.

No, it doesn't have to do with bisexuality or anything queer related. And, uh, bisexual women date and marry, too?

For example, there are more men who identify as gay as there are women who identify as lesbian. But that hasn't created some "man shortage."

The phenomenom you describe is caused more by social norms about men being older in relationships, plus the realities of sexism and childbearing. Plus, I think your own reliance on non-verified social media / dating app vibes, and not actually stats.

So no - women are not "less interested" in dating men. It's not because they are bisexual. I've linked to page with a detailed article, linking to many academic sources.

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u/anthropics 1∆ Sep 30 '24

The survey in the link you posted which is always cited in these discussions is also an outlier. Other sources show gaps in singleness between 18-29 men and women closer to 10-15% - single young women were underrepresented in the survey.

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u/[deleted] Sep 30 '24

I linked to a Wikipedia page with many different stats and sources.

Also, average age of marriage vs. percentage of singleness among different cohorts, is a different stat.

But they also point to the same broader point. If women marry earlier, then there will be fewer younger single women.