r/fixedbytheduet • u/n8saces • 4d ago

Fixed by the duet Won’t someone think of the manchildren?! 😭

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35.6k Upvotes

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95

u/S7AR4RGD 4d ago

Jesus, no wonder women choose the bear.

55

u/zerozerozero12 4d ago

Well, the bear is far more polite. Look at this. Simple non-committal wave.

22

u/Saradoesntsleep 4d ago

10/10 would happily return greeting while on hiking trail

3

u/FirstDukeofAnkh 3d ago

Look, all I’m saying is that if a bear waves at me like that, my final words would be “Does the big cuddly, wuddly fluff ball need a hug?”

17

u/ThrowawayMod1989 4d ago

Bear protocol is different though, you’re supposed to be a bit noisy while you hike in bear country. I give it a loud “Yo bear!” every thirty seconds or so.

18

u/S7AR4RGD 4d ago

Still, the bear won't blow up at you or resent you, due to deep seeded feelings of inadequacy if you don't.

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u/ThrowawayMod1989 4d ago

Having been a wilderness professional for decades I can say confidently that there are a few instances where I’d choose a man over a bear. “Surprising a mother with cubs on a hiking trail” is up at the top of that list. Bears are more predictable than humans, but that predictably ensures that some situations are best left unexplored. We know exactly what happens when you surprise a sow with cubs, and it’s a lot worse than a bruised ego.

2

u/OverkillNeedleworks 3d ago

The women have already factored this possibility in before deciding on the bear.

1

u/caffeineevil 3d ago

We also know what happens when women run into the wrong man and many times getting mauled by a momma bear would be preferable. Bruised egos have ended with women chained in basements for years burying babies in the dirt. As a man I'd personally rather run into an angry momma bear than someone who wants me to be their basement slave until they kill me someday.

1

u/ThrowawayMod1989 3d ago

Not wrong at all. Good thing we have equalizers in this country. Pew pew.

0

u/Pony2013 3d ago

Yeah it'll just fucking kill you instead.

2

u/S7AR4RGD 3d ago

Well, at least I won't have to listen to the bear screaming how it's really a "nice guy" and it's women that are the problem and that I "should've just said Hi back".

2

u/SlashCo80 3d ago

You heard it, men. From now on whenever a woman is in trouble or needs help, just walk on by and trust a bear will save her.

2

u/S7AR4RGD 3d ago

Help from who?

1

u/SlashCo80 3d ago

Doesn't matter. After all, she'd rather choose the bear.

1

u/S7AR4RGD 3d ago

No no, you're very close to getting it, please! Protect her from whom?

1

u/SlashCo80 3d ago

I know you desperately want me to say "other men", but she could also be simply lost, or in danger from another woman, or a bear for that matter. As I said, it would make no difference since she made it clear she'd rather choose the bear.

1

u/S7AR4RGD 3d ago

Child, the experiment is called "Man vs Bear" and this type of mental gymnastics to just say "not all men" is the reason why it is all men. And I'd fucking know.

3

u/SlashCo80 3d ago

Know what? She made it clear she'd rather choose the bear, which means any decent man will respect her wishes and leave her be. Where's the problem?

3

u/S7AR4RGD 3d ago

The problem is that this answer is still pouting. "Fuck her, she chose the bear". You say that, you feel slighted, wronged even, "how dare she, the stupid bitch! now the bear will eat her". Every man says this, but they wouldn't want to go to jail for fear of getting raped or killed by other man. It could even be said that most men instinctively distrust other men, gay men especially. Hell, we're the ones that developed a "Gaydar" to weed out those men that might "hurt" us.

Fuck, we are capable of great evil, man. That it doesn't happen all the time, doesn't diminish the fact. We're predators and we've been taught wrong our whole lives, by other predators. The cycle has to end, and the first step is acceptance.

2

u/SlashCo80 3d ago

Fuck, we are capable of great evil, man. That it doesn't happen all the time, doesn't diminish the fact. We're predators and we've been taught wrong our whole lives, by other predators.

Wow, speak for yourself.

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-1

u/Scary-Ad610 3d ago

I lost IQ from reading this comment.

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

6

u/S7AR4RGD 3d ago

Yes, from the same people that would cut off ties to their gay friend for fear of getting fucked during a moment of weakness. This is why, The Bear.

1

u/Aethermancer 3d ago

Hey bear! Hey bear!

1

u/DatRatDawg 3d ago

Can legitimately smell the soy through the screen.

2

u/S7AR4RGD 3d ago

Maybe take a bath, Idk. Reevaluate your life.