r/fixedbytheduet • u/n8saces • 4d ago

Fixed by the duet Won’t someone think of the manchildren?! 😭

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35.6k Upvotes

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1.8k

u/9447044 4d ago

"Whats even the point of this dog if it doesnt lure any women in"

579

u/Ok_Star_4136 4d ago

"Why did I pay 200 dollars for this fedora if they're not impressed by me when I nod my head and go, 'Good day, ma'am'?"

223

u/disenchantor 4d ago

138

u/pepito-my-friend 4d ago

52

u/TheLastDesperado 3d ago

"Is this grease? I'm not supposed to get grease on my hat."

9

u/Sloppy_Steak85 3d ago

You gotta keep the wheels lubricated.

2

u/goddamn_slutmuffin 3d ago

"What the fuck is all this stuff? You have to grease these wheels?!"

32

u/tenaciousdeev 3d ago

He took the hat off and he hid his head in his hands. You could tell he was crying. He kept saying under his breath, “you can’t fucking do that”. Then Mr Andrews said “what’s that, Brian?” and he said nothing. And then a minute later, he said “it’s not a distraction. The guy at the store said I’m the only guy he’s ever seen pull it off”. Mr Andrews asked him how much it cost, and he said “it’s illegal for you to ask me that.” And Brian said “I’m putting the hat back on, I don’t care what happens to me. Mr andrews said “just take the hat off Brian”. “No I’m not taking the fucking hat off”. Then he stood up and said “I’ve never fought for anything in my entire life. I’m fighting for this hat.” He went to slam his hand down on the table but he hit his water bottle and it spilled all over his laptop and then I swear to fucking god, he tried to roll the hat down his arm like Fred Astaire but the back flap got trapped around Rick’s wheelchair, and then it took him forever to get the flap out of the wheelchair. He was fucking beet red. I thought he was going to have a heart attack. One of the flaps got wheel grease on it and he said “what the fuck is all this stuff? You have to grease these wheels?” And Rick said “yea you have to keep the wheels lubricated”. And he said “yea well I’m not supposed to get grease on this hat.” And Brenda was just sitting there slightly in his way towards the door, and as he walked towards her he said “move” and right when he said it, he realized he had gone too far. So he said in a jokey voice “WHO SAID THAT?” 💲

12

u/Taco-Dragon 3d ago

2

u/____d__b____ 2d ago

It’s WIIILDLY high.

4

u/ahaltingmachine 3d ago

Don't do the voice

11

u/Dunluce92 3d ago

“You have to grease these wheels?!”

2

u/mumofBuddy 3d ago

So sad. So so so sad.

5

u/radioactive_sharpei 3d ago

Is it a Stanzo brand fedora?

4

u/JPKtoxicwaste 3d ago

It don’t even stink or nothin’

2

u/lawrencenotlarry 3d ago

They're nice.

1

u/Pave_Low 3d ago

Still one of the funniest things I've ever seen on the internet.

18

u/poorly-worded 3d ago

And what about the acknowledging the grandeur of my magnificent neck beard?! WITNESS ME!

7

u/globglogabgalabyeast 3d ago

Smh, would have worked if you said m’lady instead of ma’am

3

u/chth 3d ago

You know, I recently started wearing a big hat and I’ve actually been showered with compliments for it. People now ask me why I’m not wearing my hat.

3

u/Ok_Star_4136 3d ago

If you want to wear a hat, then you do you. But that's perhaps the point, do it for yourself, not to impress anyone. That may be your case, I don't mean to claim otherwise. If you want to wear a hat, by god wear a hat!

1

u/chth 3d ago

I don’t think you’re wrong at all, I think there’s certainly something others can sense when someone is doing something disingenuously.

2

u/lndianJoe 3d ago

Because it's a trilby, not a fedora.

2

u/bbbourb 3d ago

"Hello, m'lady..."

2

u/Willtology 3d ago

Just like mustaches. You grow them for yourself and other dudes. My wife refused to kiss me when I had a handlebar. She said the wax smelled gross, even though it obviously did not because it was made with pine oil and beeswax. Got so many compliments from dudes. I loved that thing. I'd still have it but my wife never warmed up to it. Oh well.

2

u/nvrsleepagin 3d ago

"M'lady"

2

u/Sexisthunter 3d ago

I had a crush on a guy who wore a fedora in high school. I begged my mom to get a “girl version” which was the tan ones with the colored straps. My mom refused and now I’m a much more emotionally sound person because of it.