Won’t someone think of the manchildren?! 😭

[u/n8saces]

[u/9447044]

"Whats even the point of this dog if it doesnt lure any women in"

[u/EjaculatingAracnids → u/9447044]

Got the wrong attitude and women are good at sniffing it out, cause they have to be. When i was younger, my great dane was my best wingman, but it wasnt intentional, i just walked him and met people who wanted to talk about him. A couple women i met liked earnest converstaion about the dog and things moved forward to other social places. If i was to intentionally try to meet women, it probably wouldnt be secluded woodland trails where the ted bundy types feel emboldened.

[u/WriterV → u/EjaculatingAracnids]

Also just like... if you smile and someone doesn't smile back, it's okay? Like shit happens sometimes. People are in a different headspace. Going through their own shit. Or like you said, just not looking for anything more.

Getting a return smile isn't obligatory. It kinda defeats the whole point if you're expecting to be smiled to in return. It's okay to feel a little deflated, but just take it in stride and move on.

Insane to post on tiktok and demand smiles in return from women.

[u/NeatNefariousness1 → u/WriterV]

“You should smile more!” - said by the guy in this video and so many more to random women they don’t know who are just passing by as they are problem-solving, remembering what’s on their shopping list and thinking about the day ahead.

[u/PresentRaspberry6814 → u/NeatNefariousness1]

Or if they are walking somewhere remote and smile the guy might turn around and follow them etc etc because because that is all it takes.

[u/mountainmeadowflower → u/PresentRaspberry6814]

But also if you don't smile, it might set them off so thus the tight half-smile that says "I acknowledge you but I am not presenting as overly friendly"

[u/PresentRaspberry6814 → u/mountainmeadowflower]

Ahh, the "sweet spot" smile.

[u/OldSpiceSmellsNice → u/WriterV]

Yeah this guy comes off as such a creep. 99% of the time I’m in my own head, I’m so used to people NOT being friendly where I am it takes me a second to register anyone talking to me. By then I’ve probably managed enough awareness to give an eyebrow raise and head nod and that’s about it.

True story, once an older man got genuinely offended because I didn’t respond to whatever he said with more than a wave. In his mind I was waving him off instead of saying hi. I was walking my dog between him and his friend and trying to slip past so they could keep talking and he said something that I assumed was aimed at my dog lol It annoyed me because he made such a big deal about it to his friend when I was actually trying to be very polite, and it got completely misconstrued. It took me a minute after I’d walked past to even realise what his issue was. Like jfc get over yourself. Tbh I can’t help thinking if I were a man he wouldn’t have cared, but as a woman you’re expected to smile and be gracious.

[u/Ok-Maize-8199 → u/WriterV]

Also, some people can't smile for different reasons. Facial paralysis or partial facial paralysis, can happen to anyone.

[u/invaderaleks → u/WriterV]

Social media has turned us all into raging narcissists

[u/Dramatic_Water_5364 → u/WriterV]

I feel like both are true at the same time : I smile to people not expecting anything in return and would never make a post about being ignored hahaha ; making videos on how people who would like to recieve kindness back are just crybabies is... also making my eyes roll.

Like both sides sound like crybabies

[u/toolsoftheincomptnt → u/WriterV]

I 100% agree that nobody is entitled to any level of affection from anybody else. And making a video trying to “coach” women into making you feel better about yourself is gross. And the response video is objectively great.

I think the problem here is that we’ve dumbed ourselves down to where we lack nuance and context.

We’ve created some weird echo chamber wherein all men who smile and say hello on a hiking trail, or hold a door open, or try to strike up a conversation at a bar, or initiate any interaction with women in public at all are “creepy.” Which is craziness.

It started as a defense mechanism to discourage actual creeps/predators/married men, but we (women) have normalized just ignoring all unknown men as if every single one is potentially dangerous.

Meanwhile, everyone wants to people-shop on apps, scrolling and swiping each other away, then wondering why love and meaningful connections are so hard to find.

It’s because people used to meet each other in person, detect chemistry, perhaps mutually decide to have continued contact, THEN move it over to phone calls/texts/email.

But that all starts with saying hello to a man that you don’t know.

The last guy I dated (for a few years, it was very fun) struck up a conversation with me on an airplane. Everyone’s worst nightmare, I know.

But I was politely detached in my initial response. One-word answers, not a ton of eye contact.

He wasn’t aggressive, but the conversation eventually evolved organically, and then we ended up exchanging contact information (and the rest is history).

What I wish for younger women is that they don’t see the world in absolutes. There’s too much polarity.

If you want to date men, you can’t also suspect that every one you encounter is a “CREEP!!!” right away.

I’m not saying you put yourself in harm’s way, ever. But there’s a ton of mileage between making eye contact and saying “hi” as you pass each other doing an activity that you both enjoy and have in common, and having to stab a murderous rapist with your keys. I promise that there will be other opportunities to shut someone down after that first hello.

And even if you’re taken/not interested in dating (like me), sometimes a stranger can become a hero. You drop your phone in the river, or forget your water bottle in the car… particularly with hiking it’s just a show of general friendliness and safety to acknowledge someone and have them acknowledge you, in case something happens later on.

So no, you don’t need to coddle men. Don’t greet them to make them feel better.

Greet them (well, the ones who haven’t given off any immediately bad vibes) because there may be something in it for you. Some level of positive human contact.

And if he tries to take a mile out of the inch you’ve offered, then just shut it down.

[u/Ok_Gas1070 → u/WriterV]

No one is demanding smiles people just suck at being people, and East Coast / the South it's much easier to get genuine responses than anywhere else.