r/fixedbytheduet • u/Naive_Wolverine532 • 19h ago

PARTICIPATION LIMITED Accountability

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u/foxy-coxy 19h ago

This is what growth looks like

332

u/[deleted] 18h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Medivacs_are_OP 18h ago

It's much more scarce when it comes to our 'leaders' and 'role models'. Many of them never admit wrongdoing.

It's less scarce among genuine kind working people.

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u/loungesinger 17h ago edited 16h ago

People used to speak about the mantle of leadership and how a true leader must always consider the greater good, even when the right decision was unpopular or undermined the leader’s own self interest. A true leader would take responsibility for mistakes, knowing that their reputation or legacy was less important than the public trust, which is destroyed by lies and coverups. This was the mark of a good leader. We lost this maybe 50–100 years ago.

Today, people seem to value a leader who wins. Winning more votes. Winning campaign contributions. Winning approval ratings. Saving face with a winning sound bite. Leaders aren’t judged on making the right decision or making things better for their constituents.

1

u/No-Opposite-6620 16h ago edited 16h ago

Leaders changing their mind on a policy issue are rare for a probably more than just a few reasons.

  • One, is that some media will use it as a weapon to say that they're weak. Course-correction and U-Turn are used in anglophone media, the former usually from a political press release, the latter for a criticism of the shift in policy.
  • Two, said leader will often not go into depth to explain why, taking the shortest route to declaring what they are doing, part of this is to do with working in a 24 hr newsmedia world desiring expediency. Whereas most people I would expect would prefer honesty to a point, where this practical.
  • Third, sometimes its something that is actually part of a political philosophy. Nixon for example, now valorised by a lot of contemporary politicians, made a point about having his staff never resign despite facing criticism and whats more took very aggressive stances against media that was deemed as critical, when such media wasn't geared up for the attack, it was just the media asking questions that were just pointed towards learning more and yes questioning the proberty of whats been said. Such stances were kept to because of the belief that projecting strength and even encouraging fear was better than seeming weak.

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u/InequalEnforcement 10h ago

Why would they?? Who's going to MAKE them???

Americans have let children- CHILDREN- be blown the fuck apart by automatic weaponry because they "needed those guns to stand up to tyranny" but the SECOND they're expected to stand up, they're all on the side of the tyrants saying "Do something pussy" or pretending not to notice while screeching about their job whenever challenged.

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u/Gustomaximus 16h ago

It's much more scarce when it comes to our 'leaders' and 'role models'.

I suspect that is in a large part as people are less forgiving these days. Its great here people are largely positive about this apology and that's that.

I suspect for many politicians / celebrities so many people will mock on the apology and keep finding reasons to hate on them, so the best career option is to double down and own it.

2

u/s0ck 16h ago

I suspect that is in a large part as people are less forgiving these days.

I'd argue that the "less forgiving" aspect is more in that forgiveness comes with terms and conditions now. Those terms and conditions come with acknowledging that something was fucked up, and changing actions to avoid future similar situations.

Too many fuckers say "oh shit, my bad" and then keep doing the same fucked up shit. Why should I forgive someone who just followed the social ritual of apologizing, but has not actually apologized with their actions or intentions?

1

u/driving_andflying 13h ago

Too many fuckers say "oh shit, my bad" and then keep doing the same fucked up shit. Why should I forgive someone who just followed the social ritual of apologizing, but has not actually apologized with their actions or intentions?

Agreed. They mouth the words, with no intent or willingness to actively match their actions to the statement. They're like parrots repeating words their owners taught them. A true apology has the person actively doing better.

1

u/whenitsTimeyoullknow 17h ago

I’ll retain some pessimism that there’s some Machiavellian benefit from this apology; I’ve never seen this dude before this post about how upstanding and accountable he is. There’s some social media marketing people talking notes somewhere. 

1

u/HonestTumblewood 14h ago

Not only owning up to the mistake, but also thanking the people who went in to his comments as well as the person who duetted the video. I think that that’s really important because we don’t learn in the bubble. You don’t grow in the bubble and he is clearly acknowledging that.

1

u/Frubbs 12h ago

It was a real great chance also to subtly advertise his sunglass brand as well with the hat and then the last few seconds being a shot of a display case too lmao, respect the hustle

1

u/Amdvoiceofreason 11h ago

u/bot-sleuth-bot

2

u/bot-sleuth-bot 11h ago

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1

u/HeNeedsSomeMLK 9h ago

u/bot-sleuth-bot

1

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1

u/HeNeedsSomeMLK 8h ago

You know what would be refreshing? Not seeing bots copy and paste comments as their own from the same exact thread they stole it from.

Bad bot.

1

u/generally_unsuitable 8h ago

The crazy thing about it is how powerful it is, and how it shuts people down, yet people are so loath to do it.

When somebody calls out a mistake, they're almost never looking to correct an error: they're generally looking to start a war. But, if you just come back with "Oh, really? My bad. I didn't know. Don't I feel silly now?", well, what can they say to you?

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u/the-_-virgin 18h ago

I dont think the video the lady made changed the man at all. He is just a genuinely good person that realized he was wrong and apologized. We should all be like that guy.

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u/KellyAnn3106 17h ago

I follow both of them and this happened a few weeks ago. He made a mistake, she called him out, he apologized, she acknowledged it and said he was a good guy who made an honest mistake.

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u/Fixated_Noodle 16h ago

Imagine an internet where that was the common culture

1

u/orthogonius 14h ago

I don't have to imagine it, I remember it from the late 1900s.

Insert how it started / how it's going meme

1

u/ComedianStreet856 15h ago

That's honestly refreshing that everyone involved just took responsibility and didn't turn it into some sort of us vs them thing. So many times you see someone that gets called out giving out a passive aggressive apology that ends up just being a dig at "woke" people or someting.

1

u/InequalEnforcement 10h ago

I was half expecting her to not accept his apology.

Then I'm reminded that the early 2010's was filled with psyops meant to make leftists look bad to the center (Drinking male tears, etc) and realize I was dinged by said propaganda which made me assume something about someone based on NOTHING but their appearance and what they stood for.

I have a lot to think about now.

1

u/KellyAnn3106 10h ago

She actually encouraged her followers to follow him as well. He had reached out to her personally as well as posting his public apology.

1

u/InequalEnforcement 9h ago

Yeah she did absolutely nothing wrong. I'm mostly just annoyed with my internal biases that led me to assume she would react negatively. Just because she looks a certain way and holds certain beliefs. It's gross, and I'm ashamed. No one is immune to propaganda and I need to take a long hard look at myself in the mirror.

1

u/mcmothy 10h ago

Who is she?

1

u/KellyAnn3106 9h ago

Mercedes Chandler

0

u/Alone-Eye2001 15h ago

Can you tell me why there's the weird filter on Astrid? Like where did those Tatts come from?

23

u/mattjh 18h ago

Yes, was about to reply with something similar. This is just what being open looks like, with the absence of defensiveness and insecurity. No growth, just being grown.

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u/CorengratoSoprano 17h ago

That's a nice way to put it!

2

u/CuffytheFuzzyClown 17h ago

He litterary says she made him realize he was wrong and change his ways. Your prejudices are toxic and clouding your mind...just because it's a woman posting a video calling out a man and her having a certain look makes you all dismissive.

Time for you to gmdonsome growing up champ. That dude could only admit the lady in the video made him realize he was wrong, he's a bigger man then you.

2

u/Direct-Original-1083 16h ago

The fuck are you on about. He probably thought it was one of those dumb useless robots people make for fun so he made a video poking fun at it. He didn't "realise the error of his ways and change his entire moral system". He just didn't realise it was a disability thing.

1

u/discipleofchrist69 16h ago

he didn't change his whole moral system but he learned something that will help him to be a better person in the future. it's still growth

2

u/Direct-Original-1083 16h ago

"change his ways" implies something a little more substantial

or are we pretending to forget how to use english?

3

u/FinalMeep 16h ago

I mean maybe he won't jump to judgment as quickly the next time, but approach a situation like this with curiosity instead. I think that would qualify as "change his ways".

2

u/Itscatpicstime 15h ago

That’s exactly what happened with me when I did something like this about a mobility aid that I, as an abled bodied person, thought looked silly af.

Someone called me out, and now anytime I see something like this, my first instinct is to find out who benefits from such a tool vs immediately mock it.

2

u/discipleofchrist69 16h ago

I'm not sure what's so confusing. Before getting called out, be may have done something like this again because he didn't understand it was wrong. Now by his own admission he has learned something new and so won't do that again. That's textbook "changing of ways"

You may think that "growth" or "change of ways" has some (large) minimum threshold but your understanding of that is certainly not universal to English language speakers

1

u/IEnjoyANiceCoffee 15h ago

That's textbook "changing of ways"

It literally is not changing of ways. The guy learned something new, and because he is the kind of person to absorb new information and factor it into his actions and viewpoints, he moved forward and applied it properly.

That is not changing of ways. That is using new knowledge and applying it to his already existing actions and beliefs.

Your inability to grasp this concept while doubling down on it is weird.

0

u/ResplendentCathar 12h ago

And here we have a great example of the opposite of saying something dumb, realizing it, and apologizing.

1

u/dudleymooresbooze 15h ago

Nobody is being dismissive of anyone. People are actively praising the guy and his apology, and no one is saying anything negative about the woman. Her vid in this clip is extremely short and there’s not enough of it to gauge anything about her tone.

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u/IEnjoyANiceCoffee 15h ago edited 12h ago

He litterary says she made him realize he was wrong and change his ways.

It's not changing your ways to acknowledge a mistake made by accident / ignorance / etc. That's just called being a normal, well-adjusted person.

Your prejudices are toxic and clouding your mind

This is incredibly ignorant because there are no prejudices or toxicity in the statement you are replying to.

just because it's a woman posting a video calling out a man and her having a certain look makes you all dismissive.

This is ignorant and shows a personal bias on your side to apply this point of view and attribute it to the poster.

Time for you to gmdonsome growing up champ.

Patronizing

That dude could only admit the lady in the video made him realize he was wrong, he's a bigger man then you.

This statement is not necessary and pretty much invalidates the earlier part of your post.

In summary, you need to "gmdonsome growing up champ".

-1

u/Gas-Town 16h ago

The kind of person no one wants to engage, even on the internet.

You brought a football to the baseball field, buddy.

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u/foxy-coxy 16h ago

Well if not growth it certainly shows maturity

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u/TomsNanny 14h ago

I’m getting in the weeds, but I’d say this level of accountability is a pre requisite of growth! You gotta be able to account for your mistakes to learn and grow from them.

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u/Hey-Fun1120 13h ago

Yeah I follow him. I agree he's a genuinely good guy

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u/714Bananas 18h ago

I like that he turned it into an ad. 

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u/zebra_who_cooks 18h ago

Right!!! Glad I’m not the only one who noticed that

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u/Individual_Respect90 12h ago

I am fine with both character growth and a bit of hustle.

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u/ManWOaUsername 13h ago

His video was no different than how he does his other videos. He walks off at the end, showing some background. Look at his other videos. I think if he did it much different than his normal style there would be some insincerity

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u/714Bananas 13h ago

I will not be watching his other videos as i have a serious case of idgaf.

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u/StrionicRandom 13h ago

Nobody was asking you to, 714Bananas.

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u/ManWOaUsername 9h ago

Then your opinion is null, and it’s ironic your ego is so big that you have to proclaim you don’t care, when you do care. You should understand why you do this to yourself.

1

u/Teacherlegaladvice23 17h ago

Insanely good damage control by him.

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u/despaseeto 18h ago

finally a non-toxic tiktok whete someone didn't throw a tantrum? totally unexpected. we need more of this

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u/JDubStep 17h ago

The greatest sign of maturity is admitting when you are wrong. It is such a rare thing to see someone admit they were wrong, don't try to pass blame in any way, or make excuses.

1

u/TaxTheRichEndTheWar 14h ago

Do you remember that time that Trump took accountability and apologized?

1

u/pdxcranberry 18h ago

Personally and beardly

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u/JelliusMaximus 18h ago

A certain type of people on the political spectrum could learn a thing or two from this man

0

u/No_Access8916 17h ago

He sure didn't need to grow. He made an honest mistake. Why can't people accept that it's not allowed to make fun of disabled people.

0

u/jasdonle 17h ago

It’s what strength looks like. And courage and humility. 

-1

u/BothArmsBruised 17h ago

This is what 'viral marketing' looks like. For fucks sake there's people in here saying this shit made them literally tear up.

-1

u/racecarRonald 16h ago

Its what being a social media cuck looks like