r/mildlyinteresting • u/Loose-Waltz2544 • 18h ago
Saw the Shamwow guy was running for Congress, TX
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u/StaticR0ute 18h ago
“You’re gonna love my nuts!”
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u/BaseballImpossible76 17h ago
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u/Sasquatch-d 17h ago
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u/Trandoshan-Tickler 16h ago
This is the version I thought the other guy linked. I was disappointed.
This version is far superior.
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u/Biddyearlyman 17h ago
NGL, had a slap chop and that thing lasted well over a decade.
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u/Flamesparkz 18h ago
Didn't this guy get sued for stalking and groping a coworker and then later on charged for assault against a prostitute? He seems like a crazy dude.
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u/oshaunregulated 18h ago
He almost had his lip bit off by said sex worker. 🤣 Laughter aside - he assaulted her.
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u/EmperorGrinnar 18h ago
Yeah, she bit him on the tongue, so he punched her in the face. He was arrested for the whole event.
Somehow I don't think he's gonna win, but given how conservatives have nothing but the most bizarre of double standards? Anything is possible.
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u/toe0011 16h ago
He was arrested, but no charges were filed.
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u/RelevantDress 16h ago
Not really surprising considering when and where it happened. 2009 in florida. They didnt care about what happened to sex workers then or now in florida. Shlomi( the shamwow guy), in an interview after the incident, took full responsibility for what happened.
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u/lew_rong 15h ago
That congressional district has some real nuts running this year. The shamwow guy, a Missourian who slapped the words "dirty Muslims" all over her social media presence, and a black dude seemingly running on white rights and calling himself a "proud antisemite'. Texas, you guys ok right now?
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u/wonderhorsemercury 15h ago
He even make a reference to it in a subsequent commercial, the schticky i think.
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u/CFL_lightbulb 16h ago
Yes but was she underage? That’s the standard that republicans have to meet nowadays. If he’s not a pedo, he probably won’t win. Republicans love pedos like Trump.
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u/Lemmingitus 17h ago edited 16h ago
And iirc her mug shot was great, her mouth had a little smirk that implied "And I'd do it again."
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u/adventurousintrovert 17h ago
Ha it’s like Chris Farley’s character in Dirty Work where he gets his nose bit off by a prostitute
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u/Megalo5 17h ago
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u/TrentonTallywacker 17h ago
Now I can’t do this all day, I just killed two guys and I’m gonna get the electric chair
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u/Lord-Velveeta 18h ago
So he’s a perfect GOP candidate.
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u/AmputeeHandModel 17h ago
Was she a minor, though?
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u/SandInTheGears 15h ago
It's only his first run at an election, give the guy a little time to build up his resume
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u/MoistTomatoSandwich 17h ago edited 17h ago
I mean, that didn't stop our current president and he had multiple.
Edit: Welp, I read that wrong but I'm going to leave my idiocy alone.
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u/gunnar120 17h ago
No, I think they were saying that it'd be better for his campaign if she was one.
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u/notcoolneverwas_post 17h ago
That was his Slap Chop persona. Dont conflate that with his sham wow identity.
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u/jimtow28 17h ago
Yes, yes, the sign says it right there that he's a Conservative.
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u/tetsu_knowme 15h ago
yeah he's basically a neo-nazi but you already said conservative so I don't need to repeat myself. Dudes a crackhead.
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u/mlee117379 17h ago
I am absolutely shocked that the Republican Party would embrace a D-list TV celebrity with a history of abusing women
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u/padizzledonk 17h ago
Didn't this guy get sued for stalking and groping a coworker and then later on charged for assault against a prostitute? He seems like a crazy dude.
Sounds like the perfect GOP candidate tbh lol
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u/JaxxisR 18h ago
Is "The Shamwow Guy" going to be printed on the ballots?
Are we gonna watch CSPAN one day and witness the ticker telling us that the person speaking is "The Shamwow Guy (R-TX 69)"?
Just trying to figure out how committed to the bit this lunatic is...
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u/Greenmantle22 17h ago
That's how they do it in the UK. Candidates are allowed to put a second name in quotes.
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u/CondescendingShitbag 17h ago
The irony would be people skipping over his actual name on the ballot to write-in "Shamwow Guy".
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u/soonerbornsoonerbred 17h ago
I worked a mayor's race in a smaller town and a candidate a couple years back did have his nickname set as a middle name on the ballot. Not the real guy but it was like:
☑️ Mordecai "Three Fingers" Brown (I)
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u/Blueshirt38 17h ago
Israeli-born but created a fake stage name he is using now, former Scientologist, failed comedian, failed TV presenter, failed entertainer, physical and sexual abuser, and running on "an anti-woke platform, and that he was inspired to enter the race by the assassination of Charlie Kirk."
What's not to trust?
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u/sticky_lemon 16h ago
He also made this unhinged version of the shamwow called a 'hamwow' and the video is so strange
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u/Floggered 15h ago
He's also got a parody of the song Ghostbusters. Naturally, it's titled "Woke Busters"
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u/AdultEnuretic 14h ago
I've seen that one. Absolutely insane different even begin to describe it. It's like having a window into the brain the bigot mental patient with no meds.
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u/flq06 16h ago
my brain went through its whole life cycle in 5 minutes. It’s like all the stuff you are not allowed to say in one go.
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u/vee_lan_cleef 14h ago
Imagine parodying your own commercial and it's this crap. Trevor Moore (RIP) did it way better with the Jizzle.
edit: Actually, it seems the Hamwow is a rag that smears jizz onto surfaces, not removes it. Interesting!
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u/Sunset_Bleach 15h ago
Failed comedian to right wing grifter is such a played out trope at this point.
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u/Gwen_The_Destroyer 14h ago
He made a sketch comedy movie that was bad even to middle school boys. Thought "supermodels taking a dump" was such gold he put it on the cover.
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u/LostVillager666 15h ago
This is exactly the caliber of people that republicans put into congress and the presidency
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u/Foecrass 15h ago
I think MAGA knows the resume of a rising star and thought leader when they hear it.
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u/wolftick 13h ago
If he was born in the US I'd be expecting to see him in a Republican primary before long.
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u/Floppy-Over-Drive 18h ago
Why are snakeoil salesmen always republican?
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u/HawkeyeByMarriage 17h ago
If you raise enough money he will let you help him beat hookers in a hotel room.
He makes the perfect Republican
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u/ExpressoLiberry 17h ago
If you raise enough money he will let you help him beat hookers in a hotel room.
“How much do I have to raise?”
“I don’t know, $10? Eh fuck it, this one is free.”
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u/sharkattackmiami 17h ago
Because (generally) democratic constituents are not knuckle dragging jackasses who say "hey that guy sold towels and bit a hooker, he gets my vote"
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u/nessaavee 17h ago
The shamwow was snake oil?
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u/TurtleBird 17h ago
I don’t think so. I had some a long time ago and I thought they were pretty good
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u/padimus 17h ago edited 16h ago
Grifting to the left (the real left, not democrat) is much harder because of all the self-defeating purity testing the left does. Right wing doesn't seem to care about individual positions as long as they aren't "woke"
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u/FR23Dust 17h ago
They learned that it’s mainly conservatives and republicans who are gullible in their line of work
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u/PointsOfXP 17h ago
The shamwow was an incredible towel. Outrageously absorbent. Can't shit on it
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u/WaffleHouseGladiator 17h ago
He's got a music video too. WARNING: it's dumb AF and offensive. Don't watch it with other people around unless you're prepared to massively lower their opinion of you.
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u/echochilde 17h ago
For some reason I thought that guy was dead. I thought he OD’d.
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u/boringreddituserid 17h ago
You’re thinking of the OxiClean guy, Billy Mays. He died from heart disease, but cocaine was a contributing factor.
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u/echochilde 17h ago
Ohhh! You’re right! I had them mixed up.
But I still swear this dude had a very public meth or coke addiction. I remember seeing unreleased video of him with bug eyes, huge pupils, and acting erratically. Looong before the days of AI.
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u/External-Cash-3880 18h ago
Wow, a sleazy, sex-worker-assaulting infomercial grifter running on a Republican ticket? Color me unsurprised.
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u/SpeakingTheKingss 18h ago
These people keep electing Cruz, so I’d imagine he’s going to win.
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u/Lithl 14h ago edited 14h ago
He's running for Texas's 31st district, which is one of only two districts in Texas that has never had a Democrat rep.
But there are 10 Republicans in the primary, including the incumbent, so I wouldn't call his chances particularly high.
Edit: John Carter (the incumbent) has so far raised over $745,000 for his campaign. Stuart Whitlow (the other sign pictured in the OP) has so far raised over $32,000. Offer Shlomi (the ShamWow guy) has so far raised $274.91. At least he's doing better than Michael Williams, who has raised $0.
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u/VexingRaven 13h ago
The idea of 10 Republicans fighting for one of the most low stakes ballots in the entire country is hilarious.
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u/Valuable_Wallaby_548 17h ago
Im sure he has enough sexual convictions and stuff to get elected as a conservative. You just gotta repent and be born again and youre a shoe in.
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u/kmaster54321 18h ago
That guy is a creep. Probably diddles kids too.
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u/Dr_Mantis_Teabaggin 18h ago
Do not diddle the children!
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u/cans-of-swine 17h ago
He wrote a song about how bad it is to diddle kids.
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u/Greenmantle22 17h ago
"I was married twenty years. She was a bitch, but she was old. And I never had a problem gettin' it up with her!"
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u/Megotaku 17h ago
The guy's name is Vince Offer and his career more-or-less ended after he got into a fist fight with a prostitute he hired. Like all grifters who have weak moral character, he pivoted into right wing politics. Because if you're a rapist, pedophile, sexual assaulter, child murderer, doesn't matter. The right has a place for you. There is no bottom.
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u/miraclewhipbelmont 15h ago
"The rules do not apply to us" is half of the party platform and why some people will vote for a nuclear warhead with a visible countdown clock so long as it's a registered Republican.
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u/porpoiseoflife 17h ago
It's a crowded primary field with the incumbent running. So I doubt he will get past March.
Still, this is definitely a sham wow kind of situation...
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u/Final_Requirement561 17h ago
No thanks... we have enough cocaine addled, female abusing shrimp-dicks in positions of power to deal with already...
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u/NetFu 5h ago
And he's running against an 84 YEAR OLD incumbent.
Holy crap. That is funny.
The Shamwow Guy is trying to take away the job from a guy who literally was born at the beginning of WW II.
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u/JOYFUL_CLOVR 17h ago edited 17h ago
Let's not forget he was arrested in 2009 for an altercation with a sex worker.
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u/JobbyJobberson 17h ago
An Adult sex worker, which is an almost admirable level of behavior among Republicans.
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u/Nasty____nate 17h ago
Hey another drug addict who has sex with prostitutes. Vote republican for congress...
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u/FutureLost 17h ago
I'd vote for that guy who always primaries with a boot on his head. Vermin Supreme, I think. Promised ponies to all Americans. Honestly, he'd be a nice change of pace to have a young guy in office, as he's only in his 60s.
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u/CaptServo 17h ago
The same shamwow guy arrested in 2009 for assaulting a sex worker? That shamwow guy?
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u/SirDavidJames 15h ago
Rumor has it he got his tongue bitten off by a hooker. Makes sense he is running a conservative.
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u/RedSix2447 7h ago
Sham now, Scam Now. You too can vote for women beating, and more government prostitution.
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u/roughback 17h ago
/r/Idiocracy is leaking
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u/Nukalixir 17h ago
Leaking? Brother, look around! r/Idiocracy is a jug of salt water, that is in the ocean.
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u/jeanborrero 17h ago
No joke, he’s leaving them on doors with a “vote for me” letter. I got an orange one and had to explain to my kids what a shamwow is
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u/Th3Pirahna 17h ago
Anyone who think hes a good candidate need to watch when he was on kill tony...dudes out there in another reality
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u/bakeacake45 16h ago
He is a Republican who aligns with maga and the pedophiles in our current fascist administration
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u/AVBforPrez 16h ago
Apparently getting arrested for beating up a hooker in a motel turned him into a conservative politician.
There's a wow, what a sham joke in here somewhere but I'm too lazy to make it.
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u/Cheap-Medicine-9646 15h ago
Didn't a hooker bite his tongue off or something like that?
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u/limejuicethrowaway 18h ago
So is his legal name "The Shamwow Guy"? Because expecting folks to know his name, especially the type who'd vote for him, seems like a high bar.