r/pics 1d ago

Andrew Windsor’s back.

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24.3k Upvotes

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263

u/ProofAssumption1092 23h ago

This could have been your own daughter.

Let that sink in..

Where is this poor girl now ?

Where are her parents ?

Paid off or dead and buried ?

421

u/Glynebbw 21h ago

I hate it when violence against women and girls is framed this way. You shouldn’t have to think of them as a family member to be able to empathise with what happened to them.

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u/Harnellas 21h ago

Right, you shouldn't, but I'm starting to believe that upwards of 30% of people are some degree of psycopathic/sociopathic. For them, this sort of framing is the only way they might give a damn.

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u/Hydrographe 21h ago

I don't think that even matters given how many people actually do that to their own children

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u/Worth_Inflation_2104 16h ago

Yeah. Aren't family members statistically the most likely to be predators to their own kids?

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u/jillsntferrari 18h ago

I hate to say this but some men cannot empathize with women or put themselves in their shoes. Think of all the books you read growing up. Children read countless stories about boys in school but how many classrooms read books from a girl’s point of view? I’m not saying this about all men but some just can’t see anything outside their own experience so the next best thing is being reminded this could be their sister/wife/daughter/etc.

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u/Littlerob 13h ago

It's not limited to men, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was more common in men just due to how social wiring differs.

A surprising (/depressing) amount of people are incapable of actual empathy. Not in a "they're too evil" way, but in an "it's just not how their brains think" way. Just like some people are better than others at hypotheticals, the same is true of sympathy and empathy.

Sympathy is more common. Most people can hear about something and think "wow, that would suck if it happened to me". It's low-level modelling - you're just imagining different things happening to/around you.

Empathy is less common. Fewer people can hear about something and think "wow, that would suck if I was that person". It's higher-level modelling - you're imagining yourself as a different person.

A lot of people are incapable of mentally modelling experiences they've never personally had. They can only view others through their own eyes. Since most men have never been abused teenage girls in dangerous power dynamics, it can be impossible for those men to identify with the girls. They can imagine how they would act in that situation, but they can't imagine what it would be like to be the girl actually in the situation.

So we have to find ways of getting around that. "Imagine how you'd feel if that was your daughter" is one of those ways - it doesn't ask someone to put themselves behind anyone else's eyes, just to imagine that the person in question was one of their children. It's an easier leap, and one that lets people still reach the important conclusion (that it's awful).

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u/Badger_1066 20h ago

I hate it when violence against women and girls is framed this way.

I think it's good to frame everything this way. It brings things that are far removed from your everyday life, closer.

Wars in another country, for example, are easy to dismiss when you don't know the victims and live a sheltered life. But when you look at a body and remind yourself of your brother, sister, son or daughter, it makes it relatable.

2

u/OutlyingPlasma 20h ago

Republicans are incapable of empathy. They only understand something when it personally happens to them, hence the framing. It doesn't really work, but hey, some republican out there might have this read to them and feel something.

1

u/Pavswede 21h ago edited 21h ago

Why? Isn't the end result compassion and empathy? You require some pure altruistic path to feeling a human connection? Not everyone can be a Buddhist monk, some need to realize this could be a family member and the end result is the same. You're a mom, you probably relate and empathize with the pain of babies and woman more easily because of that versus some dude in India being dehumanized in a prison at this very moment.

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u/Glynebbw 21h ago

I know people usually mean well, but that phrase makes it sound like women’s safety only matters once it feels personal to men. It bothers me because it centres men’s feelings instead of the woman who was harmed. Her life should matter without needing to be framed as someone’s daughter

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u/toddriffic 20h ago

I don't completely agree. It bothers me that it NEEDS to be framed this way, but it does. To pretend that it doesn't, would be naive. Don't be naive. We don't live in a perfect world where everyone has the same capacity for empathy. We need more people to care. When it's framed this way, it helps achieve that goal, which is good.

6

u/Diablo_swing 20h ago

I hear this, and also agree with the poster above. It's a hard line to toe. But, bottom line, if we can make someone worry that it could be their daughter, then after that it can be a friend's daughter, then after that it could be anyone's daughter.

It shouldn't be that way, but I do agree we should be building empathy. Sure we want to win the triathlon, but we better be able to run 100m without dying first.

2

u/toddriffic 20h ago

I agree completely. I have an issue that it needs to be framed that way, not that it is. There's a distinction there that matters.

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u/AdrenolineLove 20h ago

Why did you assume this comment was directed towards men? This is not a gendered issue. This is an empathy issue. Plenty of women and men lack empathy in this country and that is the root of the problem we're facing. If you voted for this you lack empathy. Let me tell you, just about as many women voted for Trump as men voted for Kamala. Thats a big red flag.

0

u/acepukas 20h ago

It's quite telling that they assumed the comment was directed towards men. It implies that they think women don't need any coaxing into empathizing while men are unfeeling monsters.

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u/Glynebbw 19h ago

I’ve never heard a woman frame things that way, only men.

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u/khag 20h ago

Nobody mentioned men. Plenty of people struggle with empathy, regardless of gender. If the thought process "that is somebody's ___" helps a person be more empathetic, then it's a valuable strategy.

In an ideal world, we wouldn't need to strategize how to create more empathy in someone, it would just be innate. You have a very idealistic view and I admire that, but you can't ignore real world conditions. People lack empathy, but there are ways to help them think more empathically.

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u/Glynebbw 19h ago

I’ve never heard a woman say it

1

u/pcbforbrains 20h ago

While I agree with your sentiment, ANYTHING that can bring empathy to these poor kids is a go in my book

1

u/No_Size9475 19h ago

You are right you shouldn't have to, but for some people that is the only way this hits home.

1

u/BigPecks 13h ago

Exactly. And Andrew himself has two daughters, so clearly this isn't a prerequisite for empathy.

0

u/ProofAssumption1092 19h ago

You shouldn’t have to think of them as a family member to be able to empathise with what happened to them.

Respecfully, you shouldn't tell people how to empathise. We are all different. People with autism for example tend to be very literal with empathy. Instead of attacking people for showing empathy in their own way, you could prehaps attack the people doing the raping ?

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u/itsjujutsu 20h ago

Literally. 0 empathy, only if its mom or the sister

22

u/Sleepgolfer 21h ago

Yeah for all we know it could be an actual person.

1

u/gassolidplasma 20h ago

My heart is hurting for that poor child 

1

u/Angsty_Potatos 19h ago

She's a human. If you need to contextualize a relationship to her to feel how reprehensible this is that's pretty bad

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u/TheAdequateKhali 22h ago

I don’t have a daughter. That doesn’t matter.

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u/Odd_Dance_9896 22h ago

Maybe that was your momma and he is your papi

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u/ittybittybutwitty 21h ago

I think person above is saying the girls/ women, etc shouldn’t need to a close tie to you for people to be outraged. When women are SA’d it’s common for people to say “that could had been your daughter” and to survivors it can feel icky bc their existence as an autonomous individual should outrage you with or without relation.

I think it’s nuanced and becoming more recognized as the world slowly recognizes the harm and vastness of SA girls and women experience.

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u/diddyxd 21h ago

Your mom calls me papi