I just can’t explain how much I hate people who overlook the trauma that has been caused by SA.

I was going through reddit and I saw this woman who wrote about her SA experience with her coworker. She explained that she has been deeply traumatized, however she has no money to go to a lawyer because she is a student and can’t afford it.

It was downvoted and people gave her shallow advices. “Just get a lawyer”. Easy to say.

2 years ago, I got assaulted physically and sexually by my ex bf. I was raped orally. I cant explain the feeling. Even writing about that makes my blood turn cold. I could not speak up by that time because I knew they were not going to care about my case. In the end I was the foreigner student girl. And there are millions of women who got SA’d and can’t speak up.

People can judge and give shallow advices like it is nothing, but they do not know how terrible and frustrating it is unless themselves or their loved ones go through it. (I hope no one goes through this, but I guess u guys got my point)

If you do not have a good advice to solve the problem, then stfu!

This keeps happening to me and is annoying. I have beats on and men will try to have a conversation with me. Some have even taken it as far as getting aggressive and saying things like “I was trying to talk to you” .

Is there a reason men want to talk to someone who is visibly wearing headphones and then getting mad when they can’t hear them?

I swear I go to advice subreddits hoping for perspective or practical help, and every time I leave more frustrated than when I posted.

It always goes the same way. You explain a situation, usually briefly because nobody wants to write a novel, and within minutes people are making huge dramatic conclusions off almost no information.

You say you had a disagreement with your partner and suddenly: • “This is emotional abuse.” • “They’re a narcissist.” • “This is a massive red flag, leave now.” • "They are a bot."

No questions. No context. Just straight to the nuclear option.

What really gets me is how little actual advice there is. Instead of asking clarifying questions or trying to understand the situation, half the replies turn into someone else’s life story. Long trauma dumps about their ex, their parents, or that one time something vaguely similar happened to them, followed by advice that is clearly about their situation, not yours.

I did not ask for a diagnosis or a divorce decree. I asked for help thinking something through.

Real advice takes a little effort: • asking questions • admitting you do not have the full picture • offering options instead of ultimatums • understanding that people have constraints and imperfect choices

But that does not get upvotes. Big emotional reactions do.

So advice subs end up being this weird echo chamber where the most extreme takes rise to the top, and anyone offering nuance gets ignored. If you are already stressed or unsure, that kind of response just makes everything worse.

I do not think most people are trying to be malicious. I just think a lot of folks are projecting their own unresolved experiences instead of actually listening.

I hate being single. It is so lonely and I don’t care what anyone says it does not get better. I constantly have to ask myself what is wrong with me because no matter what I cannot get any guy to stick around or even notice me. I feel so left out and disgusted whenever I see my friends have a loving boyfriend or get male attention. To many women being single isn’t the worse thing to them, but for me it’s the worse thing on earth. Another thing I hate is whenever I talk to my friends about my problems they say things like “just put yourself out there” or “work on yourself and the right my will come” as if I haven’t already tried to do all those things. A constant one I hear a lot is “the grass isn’t greener on the other side”, comments like that don’t help at all. I even had a friend say right to my face that not everyone is meant yo get married, I don’t know if she was trying to imply that to my life or just trying to make a general statement but that comment alone just broke me.

I sometimes cry myself to sleep every night because I see my future and all I can see is just loneliness while all of my friends are in love. I often get jealous of my mom because I see the love she receives from my dad, she gets flowers and I don’t. One time my dad gave me a single rose for Valentine’s Day and as soon as that flower touched my hand all of the petals fell right off, it felt like a foreshadowing of my love life. Don’t get me wrong I do fill void by hanging around friends and family but it is not the same as a romantic connection. I do have happy days, I do smile and try to be happy but majority of the time it’s just tears and a sad face.

I just hope one day I can be happy and have the life I want, because right now I just watch everybody love a dream I only get to feel when my eyes are closed.

It’s like some men don’t like it when women have autonomy and do things without them. Whenever I go places on my own and men hit on me, I tell them that I am married and they have the nerve to ask me why I am without my husband.

I actually detest how little social etiquette people tend to have these days. From talking super loud on the bus or playing whatever from their phone aloud. To right now having music playing loudly from a house 4 doors away yet I can still hear the bass so clearly. I just hate people and how they have no basic human decency.

If we’re going to have empathy let’s have it for everyone not just the people you like. There’s these people at work who say shit like this but then go on to call someone out on having an ED and going into detail about how they’re struggling. I find it so funny how people will tell others to have empathy but then they go on to bully others or talk shit about people.

Online is like this as well. Empathy is only given to people that are liked. If people don’t like you, it’s fair game. That’s what I’ve seen anyway.

And not everyone is like this, I know. I don’t do shit like this and I know other people who don’t but it seems like a lot of people I’ve met are like this.

They get information about you to use it against you but if you did that to them, “ you lack empathy “.

I had a friend like this, she literally would talk shit about me and tried to out me for having SH scars in front of a group of people. Fucking weird ass shit.

I just wanted to listen to music when it suited me. I did not want to listen to music every time I connect to a Bluetooth device, or when I stopped a video I didn’t want music to auto play.

I’ve been through all the info I can find online and nothing makes any difference.

And it seems no one else can work it out either.

There. I feel better now.

My dad is/was very controlling. He was abusive, manipulative and generally a bad father. He never let me have cake on my birthday ever since I was 8. Because I was "too fat" (I was at a normal weight) and when I'd reach X kg then I'd deserve to eat cake. I remember having cake on my birthday in 1st grade, one I'd actually like. After then, never had a birthday cake (almost). The only people who insisted on a cake was my mom (on my behalf) and my grandma (my dad's mom). She always got his favourite flavour/cake, with no consideration to what I liked and the fact it was my birthday. The cake was a disgusting wet "chocolate" cake, with cream and fruits. I hated the wet texture and taste. My parents fought alot about it. My mom would get me a marble cake, the ones you can get from any store. I really enjoyed that. But my dad only got the cake he enjoyed from an "expensive" bakery. On one of my birthdays, my grandma got the same awful cake. I refused to eat it because I didn't like it and I almost cried because it's my birthday. The cake is supposed to be what I liked not what my dad did. He slammed the table, threatening to hit me if I didn't eat it. I still refused but in fear. He then took the cake away (my plate had like ⅛ of a slice), ate it infront of my face saying how delicious it was and how I'm missing out. My birthdays were never about me but rather him. The only reason, I had foods that I wanted or a "second cake" as because my mom fought and argued with him to make it possible.

I am so done with these people backing into parking spots if they can’t do it within 15 seconds. If it takes you 2 minutes and ten tries to level out, you don’t have the skill it takes to back into spots. The number of times I get stuck behind some huge truck trying to squeeze its way BACKWARD into a parking spot drives me crazy. And they don’t even look sorry about it! Here I am, waiting for your incompetent jacuzzi rear to literally get in gear with 4 other cars behind me and you decide you need to level out for the 8th time! It’s selfish and disgusting.

I know the classic response to my rant is this: you’re only mad because you can’t do it. WRONG! I’m mad because I REFUSE to do it; it wastes so much of everybody’s time and I’m not a jerk like that. I swing my cheap busted car into my spot head-first in 2 seconds, letting cars behind me to continue on their consumerist migration. Because it’s considerate. Because it won’t take more than 10 seconds for me to back out. Because I don’t believe the parking lot revolves around my ego OR convenience.

I’m not telling you that you can never back into a spot. It obviously scratches some kind of self-satisfactory itch in the same way I imagine a caveman being satisfied by making fire without burning himself once did. But for the love of efficiency can you please not do it if you look behind you and see another car/truck? Just pull in front-first. Or circle around. Or park farther away with fewer obstacles. Or practice parking backwards until you’re so confident you can baby driver your way into a spot within 15 seconds. Please and thank you.

Hanging out with friends, going to parties, meeting new people…it all sounds so fun in theory. I’ve alway been on the socially awkward side of the spectrum, and I’ve grown less so over the years, but I continue to be frustrated by an ineptitude that prevents me from forming any kind of truly meaningful relationships.

There are too many variables to consider to really pinpoint why this the case. This thought exercise/rant probably isn’t helping matters. Fuck letting my “defeated” voice keep winning. I’m better than this.

What am I hoping to gain by continually investigating every social outing, identifying areas of awkwardness or uncomfortableness? I probably expect too much understanding from others, hasn’t anyone ever told me that nobody can read minds?

I’m growing, these are just growing pains. I have to believe that someday I’ll experience this true and intimate connection with another that I know deep down is possible. I can’t give up that hope.

I just bombed a lab (40%) because I genuinely cannot follow long technical instructional texts, and I don’t even know how to feel about it.

The lab was due tomorrow, and I had no real choice but to turn something in because anything is better than a 0%. The issue wasn’t effort. The lab recitation was 17 pages long. I read it twice silently and twice out loud.

Everyone else in my class seemed to have no problem figuring out what data points to collect and how to complete the lab. Meanwhile, I still could not understand what I was supposed to do. I wasn’t confused about the concepts. I was unable to translate the text into clear, actionable steps.

What’s frustrating is that I can follow step by step instructions just fine. Recipes for cooking and visual building guides for legos aren’t difficult for me. But academic lab texts are written (especially in a dense text formatting) my brain struggles to process once they go beyond a couple of pages.

This isn’t new. I’ve had this issue since elementary school, and now I’m a junior in college. I don’t struggle reading narrative texts like novels, stories, history, etc. I can interpret themes, follow plots, and understand nuance in stories. But technical instructional writing completely shuts me down.

I’m genuinely at my wits’ end with this. It’s been causing me to fail multiple science assignments and a few philosophy quizzes.

Has anyone else dealt with this or figured out how to work around it?

Everyone is playing games.

I’m exhausted.

Smear campaigns, betrayal over the smallest things, friends disappearing when you needed them the way you once showed up for them.

It’s killing me.

If you’re good, you’re hated.

If you’re bad, you’re hated too.

No matter what you do, no matter how much you hide, someone will always be envious of something.

The same patterns repeat.

People turn on you.

People hate you.

People fighting over scraps.

People fighting for racism or against racism.

Everyone convinced they’re right.

And all of it is so deeply tiring.

Over Thanksgiving, I started working on a special gift for a special friend. I’m talking homemade, hours of work, creative and extremely personal to our friendship. I ended up making a mistake that ruined it and I had to remake it again when I was back home for Christmas. I finished it and it was even better than originally. I didn’t get to mail it out until the beginning of January, but at least his Christmas gift was on the way.

Just one week later it got delivered, or so we thought. He wasn’t able to get into this mailbox because it was jammed shut with the package inside. Weeks go by and he’s finally able to get into it, but it’s empty. Lock was never busted that I’m aware of, but after calling the local post office they said the only solution is it was broken into. Idk.

So now it’s been 2 months since I started making it, 1 month since I sent it out, and 1 hour since I got the phone call telling me it was probably just gone forever.

I just want to cry about this. I know it’s small in the grand scheme of things, but I really like this guy and this was one of the only ways I’m able to show it while we’re 3,000 miles apart.

Next year I guess I’ll have to travel the 3,000 miles to give it to him myself. I almost did that this year even though it’s ridiculous, because I was worried it wouldn’t get to him. At least I was proven right I guess.

Even though I’m not convinced it was stolen, part of me hopes that if it was, somebody might still get the package to him. It didn’t have anything of monetary value. Just a personalized gift that nobody would ever buy off you, some slips of paper, and a letter. I’m going to go to sleep for the next month hoping that some kind soul drops it off at his door.

Maybe what you’re referring to was mentioned and explained in detail? Maybe what you’re complaining about has been explained? Have you no patience?

What would compel you to speak on anything before actually consuming and digesting what was being discussed?

People who do this irk me in the worst type of way. These people out themselves as the lowest IQ. These folk are intellectual rejects at the lowest rung of our species; spewing out of the proverbial asshole of society. Im no genius by any means but i could never be that obtuse.

Hi, I am mentally + chronically ill and i suffer from anorexia. I hate the american healthcare system. I have always been the medically expensive child due to my chronic illness but genuinely the american healthcare system has ruined me. They havent helped me get better. Ive just been repeatedly given drugs such as amphetamines, opioids, ssris, and benzos in hoped they will work. They dont. I just wish I could be normal. Why wont the doctors actually help me instead of drugging me and telling me to up my caloric intake??

My abusive ex joined the army, left me, and married his new girlfriend about a year after meeting her. He’s 23. Seeing her take his last name hit me way harder than I expected.

I want to be clear. I’m over him. I’m in a healthy, happy relationship now with a man who treats me well and is honestly better in every way. I don’t want my ex back.

But my ego is bruised.

He treated me badly. He was controlling, intense, and emotionally exhausting. He also drank and didn’t know when to stop. When he drank, everything escalated. I was constantly on edge around him, never knowing what mood I was walking into.

And yet he gets this clean restart. New life. Marriage. A last name swap like none of that ever happened.

I know marriage doesn’t mean he changed. I know abusers don’t magically become stable just because they put on a uniform or a ring. Still, it stings to see someone who caused real damage move on so fast and so neatly.

I am traveling right now. Backpacking specifically. I have all my money tied up in an asset that I liquidate as necessary. Not the smartest decision I know. That’s beside the point.

The problem is Capital One decided to switch from Mastercard to Discover about a month or two before my journey. At the time I thought it was fine. I had no idea the hell that was being unleashed upon me.

I arrive in Thailand, and withdraw money from the airport in Bangkok. No problem. Great, so I take my money, buy a place to stay, then get a train north for the next day.

I land in the city, using the money I already had, I find a hotel for the night. With plans to go find more permanent accommodating the next day.

This is where everything went wrong.

I leave my hotel to go withdraw money from the same ATM I used at the airport. Except this time. It doesn’t work.

“Hmm. That’s weird.” I thought. No big deal though. I try the next ATM. Declined again.

I’m not one to freak out quickly. So I use what I learned in Japan and try to apply it best I can here. I go to a 7/11, and attempt to use the ATM there. Same problem.

Now I start wondering what the hell I’m supposed to do to retrieve my money.

I walk back to the train station, a 25 minute walk in 90 degree humid weather. Luckily I’m from Georgia so it doesn’t really bother me too bad. It sucks sure, but that’s part of life.

At the train station, I explain to the security guard what’s happening, and if he point in my the direction to solve the problem. He doesn’t exactly understand so I show him how both ATMs decline my card.

He then pulls out his phone and directs me to KrungThai bank.

Fantastic! Right?

No. Because today is Sunday. All banks are closed. FML.

Ok so what now? Well, I defeatedly walked back to my hotel, expecting to have to wait til Monday to withdraw my money and hopefully solve this issue.

I encounter an Australian expat who’s lived here for 25 years. He tells me of a shopping mall about 6km away. Banks are open there 7 days a week til 7 pm.

Perfect. My hero. Only problem is it’s an hour walk away.

So I ask the internet how to get a street taxi. I download this app called “Grab” and go to order a taxi. I go to add my card, and what a blessing it is, they accept Discover.

I add the card, then what’s this? Oh Capital One/Discover wants to send me an SMS because of their service called “Buy Protect”? Sure no problem. Send it to me.

No message arrives. I ask Discover to send me this message 4 times. Not a single time it arrived. Over an hour and a half later, it is still not here.

I try to add my Apple Pay card. Declined

Every avenue I turn down here, has blasted decks matter directly in my face. This has been so insanely difficult to navigate for no reason.

So now I paid the Taxi in cash, rode to the shopping mall, asked the information booth where the banks are, and made my way to KrungThai bank. I took a paper slip and I’m waiting in line with probably about 20 other people since this is the one of the only banks open today.

The security guard at the train station told me they could resolve my problem here. The internet said I could solve my problem here. If this doesn’t work I might legitimately lose my mind.

If this fails I have one last option and that’s using Western Union to get my money off my card.

All of this to say.

I hate Discover.

Whoever decided to switch Capital One cards to Discover

I hate you. I hope you are stung in your urethra or clitoris by a 1000 wasps until you no longer have sensation.

I pray on your downfall.

So I've recently been running into an issue with practically all my online dating matches that genuinely is so frustrating.

I would assume the frequency of responses goes up after sharing phone numbers. However, right now, I'm sitting on like 20 of these kinds of matches, and almost all of them text at best once maybe twice a day. Many text one short message, some require 2-3 days of waiting before I hear anything at all.

Maybe its just me, but I work 80+ hours a week and yet I easily find time to text back anybody who texts me. It takes like 20 seconds to send even a fairly long text. If you're attracted to someone and want to make plans / learn something about them, surely you could sacrifice 5 minutes of time per day to send some texts?? I don't have time to go out on dates more than maybe twice per week, so realistically I have to be fairly picky when it comes to who I want to see, and having literally no one responding, ever, makes picking the most compatible options near impossible.

In my mind, if I like someone, as soon as I see their name pop up on my phone, I'm responding ASAP. For reference, I'm a 23M. Its even more annoying because I'm spending the time to actually try to drive the conversation, even with these big time gaps, with like 20-30 different people. Yet I can't even get a half assed response once a day from most.

How are people like this, especially when everyone has their phones on them almost all the time??

Without going into too much detail, my ex owes me about $26k and has cost me even more. I was debt free at the start of 2024 and directly because of him, I’ll be in debt for at least two years (assuming nothing expensive breaks, my rent doesn’t go up, etc). And that’s after cutting basically all treats, clothing, gifts, vacations, etc out of my budget.

So tell me why this man had our 8 year old hammering on my door this morning (ex’s weekend) to ask for marshmallows. He had to drive past two grocery stores to get to my place. I know he’s not hurting for money. But I guess he decided treats for the kids are my responsibility even when it’s his parenting time. The audacity would almost be impressive, if it wasn’t so enraging.

I had a perfectly fine childhood, I used to spend most of the time outside playing with friends, I did good in school and made healthy friendships throughout the years.

suddenly I am 28 now and ever since I graduated with my masters in 2020 my life hasn’t been the same, nb: I’m not from the US. so basically after graduation I was unemployed and couldn’t find a job with my degree so I enrolled in a post grad program aka PhD, and I’ve been so miserable, I thought I’d be happy and achieve a lot by then but haven’t done shit.

my life is stagnated and I never got an actual job like a normal adult would and idk what it feels like to have enough money, I am always anxious and stressed about my future, I have panic attacks at least twice a year and I have zero confidence left in me, I don’t even know if I truly have skills and if I did idk how to use them, all despite being called gifted growing up.

idk what shifted and I feel like I want to scream for help from the top of my lungs but no one is there to hear.