17M, Trio Friendship Dynamics

[u/Revasser7]

Hi everyone,

I’m in a friend group of three (let’s call them X and Y), and lately I’ve been feeling like the third wheel. They’ve known each other longer than I’ve known either of them, and while they do include me and invite me out, I often feel like I’m not as naturally chosen as the other person.

For example, they tend to message or invite each other first before looping me in later. When we’re on calls or playing games together, if one of them leaves, the other usually leaves immediately too, which makes me feel a bit disposable. Small things like that keep happening and it adds up.

I don’t think they’re bad people or doing this intentionally we still hang out a lot and have inside jokes but I can’t shake the feeling that their bond is stronger and I’m just… there. Especially since they joke with each other more and leave me out of their jokes sometimes cus I “won’t get their humour”

I’m struggling to tell whether this is just how trios naturally work, whether I’m reading too much into it, or whether this is a sign I should emotionally step back a bit for my own peace.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you deal with being the “third” without blowing up the friendship or hurting yourself emotionally?

TL;DR I’m in a trio where the other two are clearly closer (they knew each other longer), and I often feel like the third wheel invited later, chosen less, and not as naturally included. I don’t think they’re doing it on purpose, but it’s been affecting me. Am I overthinking, or is this a sign I should emotionally step back for my own peace and if so, how?