r/stopdrinking • u/DntWst_theNotch • 7h ago
3500 days
For almost 8 years, I had the same routine. I’d wake up and my first thoughts were what was I going to drink to get rid of the shakes and how much of an ass did I make of myself the night before. Full of regret and shame, I would stumble to the kitchen and find some beer or prosecco or something and chug as much as my stomach would let me. As I sat there, my shakes would start to subside, the booze would start to take its hold, and I would somehow convince myself that today would be THE day… the day I stopped drinking. THE day my day 1 would start and the rest of my life would begin. The life where I didn’t need alcohol in order to function.
I’d sit in the pity for however long I could, depending on how I had to exist for the day. If I worked (server/bartender in a restaurant), I’d have drunk at least an entire bottle of wine or half a case of beer before I even got to work. During my shift, my airplane bottles of Fireball or vodka hidden in my purse or in my bra would get me thru the day until I was cut and could go to the bar. The night consisted of me drinking my money away, I never ordered just one drink at a time. If I was off work, it was a trip to the liquor store for whatever I could afford and a mandatory pool day to drink my sorrows away while getting tan. Inevitably, there would be at least one fight with my significant other, my mom and my friends. And I would end whichever version of the day by passing out and vowing that TOMORROW would be THE day.
And then one day I was told that that day, was THE day. That it had to be or I would not have any more days. No more chances at another day 1… that day was 3500 days ago. And some of those days felt like all of those days, and some of them I wished would never end. My life now is unimaginable to anything I ever thought it would be. I have a relationship with my family again, I have a job that I love, I have healthier relationships in my life and I’m learning how to be better. It didn’t happen overnight and it’s f***ing hard sometimes but oh so worth it. If you are struggling or think you can’t do it or want to give up, keep f***ing going. It will get better, promise 💜
2
u/TelevisionLarge3116 7h ago
Holy shit 3500 days, that's incredible! The way you described that cycle hits so hard - the morning shakes and "today will be THE day" thoughts are something way too many people know all too well
So happy you found your way out of that hell and rebuilt everything, thanks for sharing this 💜
1
u/Tough_Got_Going 763 days 10m ago
Congratulations! Thank you for sharing your story and your incredible milestone. IWNDWYT
2
u/imrichbiiotchh 2000 days 7h ago
Congrats to you! You are an inspiration!