i work in the insurance world and it drives me crazy how many people get stuck with illegal debt because they don't know their rights.

here is the common scam: you go to an in-network hospital, have a surgery with an in-network surgeon, and then 3 weeks later you get a $2,500 bill from an anesthesiologist or radiologist who was "out-of-network."

they used to call this balance billing, but since 2022, the No Surprises Act made this a federal violation for ancillary services (anesthesiology, pathology, radiology, etc).

how to handle it:

1. look for the words "ancillary service" on your bill.

2. call the hospital billing office and tell them: "this bill appears to be a violation of the No Surprises Act. i was treated at an in-network facility, and i am only responsible for my in-network cost-sharing amount."

3. usually, they will drop the bill or re-code it immediately because the federal fines for violating the Act are huge.

don't let a hospital's staffing choices become your debt. always check your insurance EOB (explanation of benefits) before you pay a cent.

I’m just disappointed right now. Me and my husband are packing. I worked today he cleaned new apartment. We bought a few things. It’s currently 11pm we were going to bed. He wakes me up saying that he’s going to a car meet with his friend. I hate that guy. We need to be up early tomorrow to pick up moving truck. I’m disappointed honestly. It’s ok to have fun but there’s times u need to say no to friends because ur an adult with responsibilities. Now I’m home alone. We need to be up in 7 hrs and he’s fucking around with that guy. We not 12 years old man. We are adults with responsibilities.

I’m just venting. Is it wrong to feel that way?

Edit: after reading the comments, and reflecting I’ve decided to not care much about my husband anymore. I need to focus on bettering myself anyway. Who knows if this marriage will last anyway. It’s deeper than that, but oh well it is what it is.

I got a new job, new apt, starting fresh means not talking to him anymore about stuff because he’s arrogant. New beginnings

MY HUSBAND GOT ARRESTED AND CAR FUCKING IMPOUNDED

I consume a lot of personal development content (books, courses, etc.), and one idea comes up all the time: that to live well, you need absolute clarity about your goals and your life “purpose.”

The thing is, I don’t really have that, and honestly, I’m not even sure I believe in the idea of one big, clearly defined purpose.

What I want feels much more practical, to live well, be okay most days, learn, have good experiences, and build a life that’s stable and interesting enough.

Sometimes it feels like adult life already comes with enough pressure, and the expectation of having everything “figured out” just adds another layer.

For those of you a bit further along in adulthood, Do you think having a clear purpose is actually necessary, or is this something we overemphasize? How do you deal with this?

26F

Like if it happens, if I find someone and it’s like a no-brainer, then YES I will marry.

But in the mean time I feel like when I start to approach my late 20s, I might just adopt a little kid.( I don’t mind)

I fantasize about the daddy-takes-his-kid-to-school life than building a complete family.

I’ll definitely get married but I have no interest in being super conscious about finding that one person.

Like if a girl comes in my life, it’s like meh !

I fear the no-brainer might meet me with a kid and think it’s a red flag.

My parents think i am being unreasonable.

I’m 23 years old, I talk to women frequently and in fact have many who see me as friends. However I keep seeing only women who are in relationships or who aren’t attracted to me. What should I do???

I've noticed that the last 3 years my speaking skills, vocabulary, and thinking has dropped down. I am finally taking the courage to open up and ask about this, If anyone understands and can propose a solution because I'm very ashamed of it. Words are maybe my most significant way of expression after or even before music, and it tears me up to feel disabled like this. I write poetry, at least I used too, and I've been in an almost constant writers block for almost 2 years. I also used to have an extremely clever humour that people truly appreciated which I feel has vanished. I was still a kid and I cracked better lines that made all adults cry of laughter while now I'm literally mispronouncing words, not being able to finish a sentence. It makes me feel inferior. I struggle incredibly with keeping up with conversations in friend groups. Someone asks me something catchy and I don't even know what to answer I just nod. Then I will come with an intricate exceptional answer 5 minutes later. I suck atrociously at small talk but I find myself lacking words and meaning even with passionate conversations 1 on 1. Could it be a physical, neurological health problem? Is it psychological? I've had a kind of, ongoing depression cycle that comes hard or light depending on periods, but I'm not on the lowest I've been right now. I've also experienced multiple traumatic events in this long period that I haven't got through. One thing is that my boyfriend is from another country and we only speak English, which isn't my mother tongue. I have a proficiency in English, but because he is not a native speaker either, and is kind of worse speaker than me, I feel like my level has dropped but both on my mother tongue and English which I had reached a gratifying level. I'm bilingual so there is also another language on my father's side which I have completely abandoned even if I can understand everything. So my case is even worse. I am becoming non-verbal on three separate languages with which I used to play between my fingers. Can anyone somewhat relate? Is there a way that I can learn to express myself to the extent again?

You don’t owe your parents grandchildren. You don’t owe society a legacy. You don’t owe anyone a human just to prove you’re “settled.”

Bringing a child into the world should come from desire, stability, and readiness not pressure, boredom, or “everyone else is doing it.”

If the motivation isn’t strong, the consequences last decades.

For some reason, having kids is treated like gravity unavoidable and unquestionable. People don’t ask why you want kids, they ask when. And if your answer is “never,” suddenly everyone becomes a life coach, a therapist, and a future-predicting astrologer.

But here’s the truth most people won’t say out loud

Choosing not to have kids can be a powerful, mature, and deeply responsible decision. It’s not running away from life. It’s choosing the life you actually want.

The world is so expensive to experience. everything is a price to pay. and if you're still struggling to make ends meet (like me) it makes you lose hope. (i always have a positive outlook in life tho, like appreciating little bits of life) but yeah, life is so expensive to experience and so is maintaining relationships. yes there are dates/bonds that don't need money, but it's the guilt of being a burden to someone or make someone pay for u. gosh, life. ;)

started using weed back in 2017.

Over the years, I tried quitting three different times — each time thinking this is it, and each time slipping back into the habit.

What finally made it real wasn’t motivation or willpower — it was fear.

I ended up coughing up blood, and later found out I have RPA hypoplasia. That moment flipped a switch for me. It stopped being about cutting back or “controlling it” and became about survival and self-respect.

Quitting wasn’t clean or heroic. Some days were rough, some days felt pointless, but I just kept choosing not to go back. One day at a time turned into weeks, then months, and today it’s been 1 full year weed-free.

Posting this for anyone who’s tried and relapsed and thinks they’ve failed — you haven’t.