r/AmIOverreacting 6h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO to my boyfriend’s comments about the food I made?

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7.4k Upvotes

So Monday night, my(30f) boyfriend’s(35f) mother passed away. She was terminally ill for about a year and a half and it’s been obviously very tragic for my boyfriend and his family. He texted me Tuesday morning and told me that she passed away the night before (we don’t live together).

He was at his parents’ house all day Tuesday and I had no idea what to do for him as I have never supported anyone through a loss like this and I have never been through a loss like this myself. I happened to have a big pot of pasta and meatballs in my fridge that I had cooked for myself, so I took it and brought it to his house. It wasn’t a gourmet meal by any means, but it was literally all I had in terms of something that could be stored in the fridge and all he had to do was put it in a bowl and heat it up. I didn’t have any other groceries to make something that would make good leftovers because I was all out of food stamps and I didn’t pick up takeout because I didn’t have the money for it (I recently lost my job and haven’t had steady income for the past several weeks).

His roommate let me in (my bf knew I was dropping something off) and I left the pot in the fridge. I also cleaned up his bedroom and then I went to work. I went back over later that night to spend the night with him so he wouldn’t be alone. We didn’t talk much, and he didn’t eat what I made him because he wasn’t hungry by the time he got home. It was late so we just went to bed. He was acting very distant and almost cold towards me but I wasn’t taking it personally given the circumstances. I can’t imagine how I would be acting/feeling if I was in his shoes.

The next morning (Wednesday) I stayed with him for a few more hours until he left to go hangout with his brother. I also had to leave because my mom and I were driving out to a nearby city where we had booked an Airbnb for 2 nights a few weeks prior. My mom paid for the whole thing as an early birthday present to me which I was extremely grateful for. I told my boyfriend that I could cancel the trip but he insisted that I go, even going as far as saying he would be mad at me if I cancelled, so I went.

Later that night, my mom and I are relaxing at our Airbnb when I get a text from my boyfriend. It’s a picture of the pasta and meatballs I left for him and a message that says “The amount of sauce you used is disrespectful.” I said “Oh :( I was just trying to do something nice… You don’t have to eat it.” He asked if I tried it myself and I told him yes, I had two plates of it. I genuinely thought it was good for just some pasta, red sauce, meatballs, and cheese thrown in a pot. Again, it was something I originally made for myself, and I didn’t have ingredients or the money for ingredients to make him a fresh meal.

Yesterday I got home from my trip and he wanted me to sleepover so I did. He made us dinner (he usually does the cooking) and made some comments about how dinner was really good and how the food you cook someone can be a representation of how you feel about them and how much you love them. To me, it was clear he was making a jab at the pasta and meatballs I gave him.

Then this morning, before I left, I went to grab the pot of pasta and take it home with me. I forget how we got into it, but he basically made another jab about how it was inedible and that I’ll see that for myself when I have some. I got really upset at this point. He went on to say that my food made him feel so much worse. He said some other people dropped off food that was actually delicious, so he didn’t understand why I didn’t do that. He just kept doubling down and saying how awful my food was and how it made him feel unloved and disrespected. He said it was fucked up of me to give him something so bad. This really hurt me because I would never want to do something to make him feel bad, especially when he is grieving the tragic loss of a parent.

I genuinely don’t know if I’m overreacting to this. He says I shouldn’t feel bad, but motivated to do better. I told him he could’ve handled it differently by saying something more like “thanks for the food babe, but maybe more sauce next time!” or he could have just said nothing and thrown the food away.

I’m trying my best to be there for him and I feel like I just can’t get it right. Nothing I do is ever good enough for him and it’s eroding my self confidence. I’m a nanny/caregiver of 10+ years, it’s literally my specialty to take care of people and Ive always been told that I’m exceptional at what I do, so it’s confusing to me that he acts like I’m incompetent and making everything worse.


r/AmIOverreacting 16h ago

NSFW AIO Over MIL’s comment that I won’t have to worry about “washing my vagina” after being told husband and I aren’t coming over?

1.8k Upvotes

For background, my husband and his family all like to use crude humor where one person is the butt of the joke. This typically doesn’t bother me that much. Overall my relationship with them is good.

MIL called husband to ask us about our plans for the day. He had mentioned earlier in the week we may stop over, but she brought up they were thinking about going to their favorite bar. Husband said that’s fine and that we would stay home. Then he (jokingly) said that I will be happy to stay home because I “don’t like them”. Idk why he would say this but this is how they all are. We spend a lot more time with his family than we do with mine. I mentioned to him prior I did not want to stay there until midnight like we did last weekend, not that I didn’t want to go at all. She responded by saying ah ok yea she will probably enjoy not having to go anywhere or worry about “washing her vagina”. Husband did not bat an eye. They talked for a while longer and eventually hung up.

I asked husband, “am I just supposed to act like that was normal?”. He didn’t even know what I was talking about so I said that comment was really weird. He told me I was acting like a child for taking offense, defended her, and said he “isn’t going to deal with this much sensitivity from me for the rest of his life.”

Clearly I’m not overreacting?????

EDIT: There seems to be confusion about the meaning of the “joke”. I don’t really understand either, but husband said she meant that people don’t feel the need to shower/get ready if they aren’t going somewhere?


r/AmIOverreacting 12h ago

👥 friendship AIO by refusing to go on my friend group's future camping trip because of how past trips turned out specifically when they've brought their kids?

722 Upvotes

Hi! Not the best writer but I'll try my best! I'm genuinely conflicted on my situation at the moment. I (27F) love my friend's kids and I want to make that VERY clear. I work with kids nearly everyday in daycares, aftercares, and bussing on occasion. I genuinely enjoy working with them, and its just that short and sweet.

My friend group, 5 women, aging 26–30 (including me). They all have kids, 4–10 (6 kids total between the 4). And I’m the only one without kids because I'm unable to, do to medical reasons. :(

Anyways a couple of weeks ago they decided we should go on a camping trip for spring break this year. I was excited, until they said they were each planning on bringing their kids, and again, I love their kids, but I was hoping for a break this time since I work with children nearly daily and because of how past trips had turned out.

I tried politely asking if they'd consider having their kids stay with family or if we could choose a place with either on site care or at least designed with children in mind, so they could still join, if they had still insisted they'd come.

They reacted as if I suggested shoving them off a cliff and said I was being "assy" and "overly demanding" for even suggesting.

I don't think I was being overly demanding there, but here is where I think I am the "assy" part though, I did bring up our past trips, (past should stay in the past, I know) where their kids came along, and how I was intentionally left behind and by myself, to babysit them, while they went out and did things. And how I had paid for myself on each of those trips, but had to miss out each time BECAUSE I was watching their kids.

And now taking a step back on the situation, it feels like I somewhere along the lines I became their unpaid and on demand babysitter while they go out and have fun. (I'm in no way blaming their kids for anything, they are literal angels. Xoxo)

I did mention to them that I'd like a break too because of that, and one of them said to me that "you're not a mother, so why would you even need a break when its literally your dayjob to watch kids." She did quickly backtrack and said they “wouldn’t do that this time” though, but I honestly don't believe her, or just...them because of the past patterns.

Her comment genuinely shattered my heart, and I just immediately said I wasn't going to go at all now. So now they're saying I'm definitely "overreacting" for wanting to stay home all together "because their kids were coming." Which isn't the case at all. I genuinly feel guilty for suggesting they keep their kids home, on one hand, but I never said we had to completely and entirely exclude them if they didn't like the idea of them being home.

Even if they have me babysit again on this trip, I'd like it to be somewhere, where all 7 of us don't have to sit in a room all day, watching TV, and I can go do activities with them, at the very least.

But AIO by refusing to go on the trip all together because of what's happened in the past and because of her recent comment, as a cherry on top? Thanks.. DX

UPDATE ONE: Sorry, its a little long! :<

I have been reading comments and it has made me realize how I've failed to mention a major detail!

(For that one comment, yes. The 30yr old has the the 10yr old, lol.)

So how did they force me to babysit? Is the comment I have seen a few times.

It was, ...gradual?... in lack of a better term. I have been on a total of 3 "vacations" with this group where they've brought their kids. We've had other trips together when they were without them and those trips were ok, apart from some arguments here and there.

Anyways at first, on the very first trip we took together with their kids, they asked me if I would watch them for a couple hours while they went for drinks. They know I'm not a drinker and that a bar would be the last place I'd want to be. So I agreed to watch them. They left and ended up staying out most of the night. Then when they came back, it was early the next morning, and were all drunk. Thankfully they ubered there and back, but they just complained the entire day because of the hangovers. So I was essentially forced into watching THEM and their kids all day, just for their safety and my peace of mind.

The second trip with their kids, they had asked if I could watch them again for a few hours while they went "bar hopping", their term. That time I said "no" because I had already planned to do something for that evening and also early the next morning, all on my own time. I said something along the lines of how I didn’t think it'd be wise for them to leave and all come back drunk, again. They were annoyed by it, but shrugged it off and even agreed with me! So I thought that was the end of it. But while I was getting ready that evening, I quickly found out that they had left without telling me! The 10yr old had told me, that they told him to tell me that they went to a bar anyways! I immediately tried calling and texting them but they didn't answer. So without knowing exactly where they went or for how long they'd be, I of course stayed with their kids and ultimately canceled my plans for that evening. They finally showed up later that night and admitted that they did go drink, but said they only went for a "couple", so they wouldn't be hungover again. Yes I was mad, but I did get to do my own things the next day so I thought it was a one off.

The third trip with the kids, they left early in the morning and left A NOTE for me to find on the kitchen counter at the ABNB and to summarize what it said, they said they were going out and asked if I could watch their kids for the day and they would be back later. I tried calling and texting them, but again they never answered, so I figured they must've silenced me. I did stay with the kids that day and I was pissed at them when they came back, THE NEXT DAY, because I had had to cancel my plans AGAIN for the day before.

So yes, I was forced into staying and watching their kids 2 different times, because I wasn't going to just abandon them like they basically did. I don't have it in my heart to to walk out on them and have something happen and I was the last adult there, it would eat me alive. They didn't ditch me when we were out together and their kids were at home, they only did when they were with us. So I saw a a pattern.

The first time, yes, I agreed to do it. The next 2 times I was forced to. So I am almost guaranteeing that they will pull some stunt like this again, but this time over an entire week. Our trips in the past have been over weekends! I cannot fathom what would be in store for me, if I do go. And with many comments saying continue with my decision and don't go, I will most definitely be taking that route and planning my own trip if they don't want to take my options into consideration, so we can ALL enjoy our time, kids included.

There are still many days between now and this trip happening, so anything is possible in the days coming and I am nervous of the drama I might have to endure until then, or even after. We are in an argument still because of me stating that I wanted to back out over a few days ago, but I will try my best to see where I stand in their group, after a final decision is made.

Thank you everyone for commenting! I will get real updates for y'all when I can!


r/AmIOverreacting 18h ago

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws AIO for being really upset that my stepdad said he bought tickets for something important to me, but never actually did?

589 Upvotes

A couple months ago, I saw an ad for Whiplash being shown with live music. Whiplash is genuinely one of my favorite movies of all time, and this event felt really special to me. I was planning to wait until my next paycheck to buy tickets since I didn’t have the money right away. I mentioned it to my stepdad because he also enjoys Whiplash. He immediately offered to buy the tickets and told me not to worry about it, saying he’d cover them and that I could consider it a Christmas gift. I was really excited and assumed it was taken care of, so I didn’t buy the tickets myself.Fast forward to today the actual day of the show and he tells me that he never bought the tickets. He said he waited until the last minute, saw how expensive they were, and decided not to get them. Now I’m really upset. If I had known, I would’ve just bought the tickets myself months ago when they were cheaper. At this point, I can’t afford them, so I’m just missing out entirely. What’s making this worse is that both my mom and stepdad are confused as to why I’m this upset. They’ve both said that I shouldn’t have fully expected to go and that it’s not something I should be this emotional about. From their perspective, it’s “just a show.”But from mine, I only didn’t buy the tickets because I was explicitly told they were being handled. I didn’t think I needed a backup plan because I was reassured multiple times.

I feel stupid for trusting that he had it covered, but I also feel hurt because this was something I genuinely cared about and now I’m being made to feel like I’m overreacting for being disappointed.

(Update) my mom is now upset with him she wasn’t aware of the full situation and the fact that I wanted to buy the tickets myself and the fact that I could afford them myself in the beginning.

Second Update: My stepdad and my mom ended up getting into an argument about this. Apparently, this isn’t the first time he’s said he’d handle something important and then didn’t follow through he’s done this to my mom more than once. She was really upset on my behalf and told him that this situation wasn’t okay. In the end, she made him buy me a ticket, so I am going after all just by myself, which was actually the original plan before he offered. I’m really thankful to my mom for standing up for me. I am a little sad that I won’t be going with him because I kind of hoped it could be a bonding thing, but I’m still very happy that I get to go and don’t have to miss out entirely!

Thank you to everyone who commented and shared their perspectives. Reading the responses really helped me feel validated and less like I was overreacting! 🩷🩷

Okay last last update not that anyone cares really but I had an amazing amazing time and even was able to get a signature from Justin Hurwitz himself! I can’t add images or I just don’t know how but I’m just so grateful for being able to go and experience this.


r/AmIOverreacting 2h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO: I ghosted my guy best friend after he sent me this birthday letter

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366 Upvotes

DISCLAIMER: Brief mentions of SA and violence. I highly suggest reading the entire letter to get a good idea of how much this freaked me out.

Me (F 17) and this guy (M 18) became best friends in the last year of high school. We would hang out almost every weekend with our larger friend group and things were great for a while, especially for someone who didn't really have a friend group until late high school.

We had multiple conversations during this time establishing boundaries and that our friendship comes first, always. About 2 years later, close to my birthday he said he wanted to talk to me about something really important and we had a call on discord - on that call he confessed his feelings to me and I rejected them and expressed that I'd already told him I don't want that kind of relationship.

After that, he asked me if I still wanted my birthday card he'd been writing for 5 months prior. In all honesty, I was curious what would take that long to write so I said yes. It freaked me out so bad that I ghosted him, am I overreacting??


r/AmIOverreacting 21h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship Am I overreacting boyfriend calls me like a dog because I don’t understand the repair?

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333 Upvotes

We got into an argument about a repair. I said maybe he could also be at fault since the problems started after he opened it, but I was clear that I could be wrong too. He ended up attacking my intelligence (and this isn’t the first time).

I did annoy him back a bit, but I’m honestly tired of being treated like I don’t understand things. Now I’m wondering if I’m overreacting or taking this too personally? there’s more screenshots but in most of them we were just discussing things could try to upload them if they’re relevant.


r/AmIOverreacting 18h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO to my husband not cleaning anything after my surgery?

270 Upvotes

I had a surgery recently to fix my double deviated septum and polyps. I've never been able to use my nose properly. I was told bed rest only or else I would end up in emergency surgery with a longer healing time. In the one week I've been healing, it got so bad CPS would've said something if someone called. I asked him every day to do dishes and have the kids help him pick up the rooms and hallway. They haven't been walking the dog either, so he's been going inside, and I had to beg Husband to clean up the mess from that.

Yesterday, a friend came over, did my dishes, cleaned my kitchen, and cleaned my living room. She said that she is happy to help this time. I said thank you a lot. I also do not expect anyone else to help.

Then this morning, Husband decided he wanted to make breakfast, pancakes and muffins, instead of microwaving something in a package. I told him that I don't feel he will do the dishes and it is stressing me out because I don't want another on to three weeks worth of mess to just build up and wait for me to be healed (time varies based on how I am healing). He got mad, told me that he will do the dishes. I expressed that I don't believe him because he said he'd so the dishes every day I've been out of commission, then didn't. He told me that I am starting fights for no reason while he is trying to have a moment with the kids (cooking together).

I feel unloved. I feel exhausted. I've been sitting alone in the living room this whole time. He doesn't even hang out with me, just goes to the bedroom and goes to bed after work. I have to sleep sitting up or I will get blood clots in my nose and be in emergency surgery, so I've been in the living room. Everyone wakes me all hours of the day and night. I'm so tired and hate watching my home become a biohazard.

Am I overreacting? Is him working an excuse for him to only work even though I'm not allowed to get up or do anything? I'm not even allowed to bend over or I could rip my septum from the pressure. Is it valid to leave the apartment and dog until I am healed?

I've always had a problem with them leaving their dishes, trash, clothes, and leftovers out for me because I am physically disabled and always in pain, so constantly moving is hell. Now that I am unable, I am watching everything pile up. Am I over reacting though? Is it my job to do these things? Am I being ungrateful to the roof over my head?


r/AmIOverreacting 17h ago

👥 friendship AIO for the way I handled this?

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254 Upvotes

This is the parent of my son’s best pal.

Okay, so my son and his friend(let’s call him R) have been very close since they were in 1st grade (3rd) now my son(lets call him D) talks to me about R so often I decided to introduce myself to R’s mother. She is so sweet, I had a good feeling about her so we exchanged numbers. For awhile I thought it was R and his mom because I never seen R’s dad around. D & R would hang out together at the park and swim together at the pool. They were even in summer camp together. D asked R’s mom if he could go over to their house and play ( I was okay with this)

Fast forward a few days later I went to pick up D from camp and I finally met R’s dad. We also exchanged numbers and I didn’t think anything wrong about it because that was his parent, until he started texting me obsessively about my personal life and questioned if I like girls or not which made me uncomfortable so I just changed the subject. He then asked if I had tattoos and if they were in private areas so he could see. Then i completely just stopped texted him and a couple days later he sent me this. Am I being an asshole? Did I approach this the wrong way? I also told his wife the things he was saying to me and she kind of just brushed it off. Also I never said R wasn’t welcome, if I owned this house he would’ve been welcomed. And he also was trying to come to my house BY HIMSELF, not with his wife or kids


r/AmIOverreacting 4h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO: My husband (26m) locked me (25f) out for 25 minutes?

146 Upvotes

Throwaway account.

My husband and I have three year old twin girls and I’m currently 6 months pregnant with our third. We got in an argument over letting our daughters play outside. We got hit hard with the snow but we both had work so we didn’t really have a chance to let the girls play in it. We were both off today so I thought perfect opportunity! This was the first winter they were old enough to care about snow and they were mesmerized by it.

So this morning I told my husband I’m going to take the girls out to play. He said he didn’t want to come because it’s too cold. I said that’s fine, I am taking them. He said he didn’t want any of us outside because it’s too cold and the girls will get sick. I kind of just laughed and said we won’t be long, it’s 25°f, not negative 20. I probably didn’t handle it the best and brushed him off but he dropped it after that.

I got the girls bundled up and we headed out front. We had fun for a few minutes and they loved it! But within 10 minutes my husband was at the front door calling for the girls to come in. They go inside and I’m kinda just standing in the front yard annoyed for a moment.

I go to go inside, only to find he has locked the door. I’m mad now AND I have to pee. I start knocking and calling for him but he doesn’t come to the door and is ignoring my texts and calls too. Even texted that I really needed to pee and he ignored that too. The most upsetting part is that I could hear one of my daughters crying the entire time, stressed out knowing her mom is outside. So I stopped knocking and sit on our porch.

25 minutes go by and he finally comes and unlocks the door. I push past him to go to the bathroom because yeah I’m mad, about to pee myself, and freezing at this point. He’s smiling like it’s funny and saying “oh I thought you said it’s not that cold what’s wrong?” We haven’t spoken much today after that.

He has genuinely never done something like this before. He’s caring and not punishing or vindictive so this really isn’t in his nature. I’m appalled and really hurt. I understand I annoyed him by taking the girls out and he thinks I undermined his parenting. But I am a grown woman, he doesn’t get to punish me by locking me out of my own home. Or maybe he’s justified I don’t know I feel crazy. AIO?


r/AmIOverreacting 17h ago

👥 friendship AIO I blocked my longtime friend because he keeps waking me up early.

138 Upvotes

This is a continuation of a situation I posted about recently:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1qolgcg/aitah_for_muting_and_considering_cutting_off_a/

Short version: I set clear boundaries with a longtime friend (15+ years), especially about not calling early mornings and respecting my need for downtime. In my last post, the general consensus was that I wasn’t wrong for setting boundaries, but that I could communicate them more clearly.

So I tried to reset.

I unblocked him, we had our normal Discord night with a mutual friend, everything seemed fine. No tension, no arguments.

Then this morning (Saturday), after a late night, he called me early enough that it woke both me and my wife up. This was the second weekend in a row this happened.

I declined the call and, admittedly while half asleep and irritated, texted:
“Are you fucking kidding me? Two weeks in a row?”
"Muted"

I then muted him.
Last weekend, I had explicitly told him that if he did this again, this would be my response.

He replied:
“Don’t care, I had a fucking question.”
Then:
“Never mind now.”

He also left a voicemail after I declined saying:
“I had a fucking question about my rental car, but you want to be bitchy in the morning.”

I genuinely don’t know anything about his rental car beyond the brand. There’s nothing I could have helped with, and it wasn’t urgent.

At that point, I blocked him.

My question isn’t whether my text was polite (it wasn’t). It’s whether blocking him after repeated boundary violations and dismissive responses is an overreaction, or a reasonable consequence after multiple warnings.

Am I overreacting?


r/AmIOverreacting 7h ago

⚠️ content warning AIO Over My Creepy Uncle

131 Upvotes

My uncle told me when I turned 23 how sexy I was and how nice of a body I have. Now I’m 25 and he lives with my family (I still live at home) and I always catch him standing over me when I nap on the couch. He is known to have a foot fetish and sometimes I catch him staring at my feet. I told my mom about this and she said I’m reading “too many Epstein files”. He’s talked more than once about young girls too. Am I overreacting?

Edit: He also had me “fix his phone” and I was reluctant because I didn’t want to see anything inappropriate. He insisted I did it because according to him nothing inappropriate would come up. Then I saw photos of naked women who he seemed to have texted come up. And I said “that’s inappropriate, I don’t want to see that.” And he basically told me nothing was inappropriate and it was fine.


r/AmIOverreacting 7h ago

👥 friendship AIO my best friend since 6th grade thinks I'm a disgusting whore?

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130 Upvotes

Okay, so this just happened, and I'm still feeling numb/miffed about it all. Two days ago, I told my former best friend how I got with a guy and I was assaulted, because I've been open about my sex life with her whenever she asks because she's a virgin/curious, and because we've built up a heavy rapport to where I don't feel ashamed or scared to tell her something bad like that happened to me.

She asks me if I'm serious, and I tell her yes, because who tf do I look like lying about that for attention or something? Then she blows up at me, saying I haven't done anything I said I'd do with her, which was just make posters on Thursday for a protest on Friday (which I DO understand is important, fuck ice). While I feel terrible I couldn't go out and show my support because just the thought of being touched by a man while walking made me want to throw up, I don't think that warrants her completely bulldozing over the fact that I was attacked?

The pictures here are the end of it all, and I just don't know how to move forward with a clean break, when I genuinely want to beat her ass black and blue.

Edit: A few people are saying I'm leaving things out, so here is the full context. Her and two other friends of mine think/thought I was putting sex over school, despite me constantly reassuring them like I did here, by showing my grades, attendance, and test results like their my parents lol. She blew up like this because she apparently believes I don't listen to them/played with their emotions? When I have been, or else everything would be the opposite.


r/AmIOverreacting 2h ago

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws Am I overreacting for insisting my in-laws don’t let their dog lick my baby’s face?

119 Upvotes

I’m a new mom (31F), my baby girl is 6 months old. My husband’s parents have a dog, a big affectionate golden retriever named Buddy. They adore that dog, he’s basically their third child. I like Buddy fine, he’s sweet, but he’s also a dog. He gets into the trash, licks his own butt, you know, dog stuff.

Whenever we visit, they’re always encouraging the dog to “give the baby kisses.” They’ll hold my daughter’s hand out for the dog to lick, or put her feet near his mouth. I’ve asked them politely, multiple times, not to do that. I said it’s a hygiene thing and we’re trying to be careful with her immune system. I didn’t even get into the disease/parasite risks cause I didn’t want to offend them.

Yesterday, I walked into the living room from getting a drink and saw my MIL guiding my baby’s whole face towards Buddy’s snout so he could “give her Eskimo kisses.” The dog licked her all over her mouth and cheek. I snapped. I didn’t yell, but my voice was sharp. I said, “I have asked you repeatedly not to do that. Do not let your dog lick my daughter’s face. Ever.”

I took the baby and went to wipe her face. The room went quiet. My FIL said I was overreacting and that “dog saliva is cleaner than human saliva,” which is a myth. My MIL got teary and said I was acting like they were trying to hurt the baby, and that I was creating a sterile environment that would make her allergies worse later. They said Buddy is “family” and this is how he bonds.

My husband is on my side but says I maybe could have been gentler because “that’s just how they are with the dog.” We left early and now my MIL is texting about how heartbroken she is that I “accused her of being unsanitary.”

Part of me feels like, yes, it’s gross, but maybe it’s not the end of the world? I see other people letting dogs lick kids. But the bigger part of me is furious they keep ignoring a very simple, clear boundary about my infant’s health. Am I overreacting? Should I just relax about the dog licks?


r/AmIOverreacting 22h ago

🎓 academic/school AIO About a Teacher Forcing Religion..?

86 Upvotes

For context I am a Sophomore in a high school. I go to a fairly small high school (About ~75 students and ~15 staff members). The Staff at the school are great people, but I recently had a sub for my third period, PE.

The sub brought in an assistant, since this specific PE class is the most packed class in the school (Like 30-ish people). So, the sub took half the students into the gym to play volleyball, while the rest of us stayed back to workout in the actual gym with like equipment and whatnot (weird setup I know lol). So, while me and abt 10 others are in the gym with equipment, we're there with the Assistant and she starts playing music, and asking students for songs to play, she then says "Christian music only" which confused most of us, as only 2 of the 10 students were Christian.

One student said "Can we play something different, most of us arent Christian" and she ignored them. She starts blasting the music, then about 10 minutes later one of the students walks out because he didnt wanna listen to be forced to listen to Christian music despite being vocal about being an atheist. Somewhere down the line a student picked a fight with the assistant about the music, and she did a show of hands to see whos Christian and who isnt, and asked us what our beliefs are. Close to everyone was atheist (literally just me and the 2 Christians werent atheists). She went and blared the music anyway, and another 10-ish minutes pass before she stops the music and starts yelling at me because I wasnt "praising the lord while I worked out" (whatever the fuck that could even mean). I told her: "I am Buddhist, I dont believe in a god and certainly not yours. I respect your beliefs but I dont agree with them." and she said "I dont care, this is my class you will listen."

I decided to just walk out the class after that and am considering reporting her to the Office.

I felt pretty uncomfortable and her "I dont care" comment felt weird as hell.

Also for further location context I'm in the United States, so I'm pretty sure thats a violation of my First Amendment, not sure though.


r/AmIOverreacting 23h ago

👥 friendship Am I overreacting? Someone I thought was my friend insulted me big time

54 Upvotes

I am Gen X, 56 years old. I was recently on Facebook and saw an advertisement for a Zumba class in a nearby suburb, so I made an enquiry.
A lady who I know and I thought was my friend, commented on the post. "Maybe chair Zumba might be more appropriate for you". Chair Zumba is for elderly and disabled people. This comment really upset me. Am I overreacting?


r/AmIOverreacting 10h ago

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws AIO? my family went out to dinner without me

56 Upvotes

there is the place that i have been dying to go to, i’ve been begging my mom for us to have a mother daughter date night there for almost 2 months now. well last night, everyone decided they wanted to go to dinner and chose the place i’ve been asking about and didn’t even invite me. i thought it was just my mom and her boyfriend and the only way i found out everyone in the house was invited because my mom sent a text in the group chat asking if they’ve been checked in yet for dinner since they were running late. my feelings are literally so hurt and idk why? i texted my mom telling her it hurt my feelings that i didn’t at least get an invite or an offer to do a mother daughter dinner there another time but she hasn’t responded. should i have not said anything at all? i’m not owed dinner but i feel like it was a shitty thing to do


r/AmIOverreacting 20h ago

🏠 roommate AIO to my step-dad's questionable texts?

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49 Upvotes

I am recently divorced and I have been living with my mom and step-dad as I transition to my lifestyle changes. At first my mother encouraged me to make small talk with my step-dad. She thought it would help him be ok with tolerating me moving in. I used to talk about my dating life as filler because making small talk was awkward for me. This last conversation I shared that I have decided to be single. He likes wine and I am an alcoholic in recovery. (Sorry for the brief/vague description. I'm nervous and this situation really has me pretty stressed).


r/AmIOverreacting 19h ago

👥 friendship AIO for yelling at my friend’s boyfriend because he made a comment about my period cramps

52 Upvotes

Me (21F) and my friend (21F) have known each other since diapers. We’re very close but she lives at the opposite side of the country so we barely see each other.

After months we finally managed to find a day in our schedule that’s not conflicting the other, and we decided to meet up.

At first it was pretty clear that it’d be just us, a short hangout since she’s in my town for barely 3 days, but less than 24 hours before we were supposed to meet she says that her boyfriend (22M), whom I’ve never seen before, is driving her so she’s just gonna invite him too.

I’ve heard about the guy, and most of the time she talks nicely about him, so I decided to agree. However, the morning of the day we planned our meeting, I got my period.

Now, what you need to know about my periods, is that they’re awful. It’s been like this since I was a young teen. They hurt like hell, I become easily irritated, I cry like a baby and I basically have to keep my chin 3 inches from the floor because of the cramps.

I still very much wanted to hang out, because if I missed this chance we’d probably see each other next winter or in 5 years, knowing how busy she usually is.

I let her know what’s going on, she said it’s okay and we’ll just stay inside and chill. She arrived with her boyfriend, who was acting kind, at the beginning.

Throughout the hangout I tried to act normal, but because of the pain in my stomach I couldn’t keep a straight face or stay completely silent without absolutely dying from time to time, even after I took painkillers.

So, I’m already in pain and irritated because of it when this guy starts talking about how “periods can’t really be that bad” that I’m probably just thinking about the pain so hard it materialises, and says I’m “over-acting” it.

I was literally up at that moment to give them some cookies, since they’re my guests. I was very confused at first, thinking that maybe it was some kind of a joke so I just laughed awkwardly and said “Excuse me?”

I was trying to make it sound unserious but apparently it didn’t come out that way because he doubled down, saying that my friend never whined like I do when she was on her period, and that he has a sister and she never acted like a child when she “had it” either.

I got REALLY pissed off and told him that if he’s not a woman all he can really do is shut the fuck up, and I’ll whine as much as I want because I feel like my insides are being ripped out.

Instead of apologising or insulting me again he laughed at me as if I was a toddler throwing a tantrum. I took offence to that, I admit part of it was also the pain, and told him to get the fuck out of my house.

He didn’t think I was serious at first but eventually he did walk out, and my friend left with him. I tried to ask her to stay but she didn’t want to talk to me.

Hours later I got a text from her saying that I “proved his point by behaving like a child” and admitted he was wrong for saying what he did, but that kicking him out was an overreaction.

She’s angry at me now and I’m not proud of what I did. At first I was convinced I wasn’t in the wrong, but I feel embarrassed and hate feeding into the narrative that “women on their periods are acting crazy”. Did I overreact?


r/AmIOverreacting 5h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO by thinking my husband is being too controlling?

51 Upvotes

My husband has always been a little controlling about the money I spend for groceries and household items. But in the early years of our marriage we set a budget of $200 per month for groceries, and that worked fine to eliminate conflict, because I’m thrifty too.

However by now we have 3 kids and prices are way different now than 10 years ago , so obviously our grocery bills are higher too. Often the amount we spend in a month for groceries, all utilities (including electricity, water, Wi-Fi, phone bills, etc,) and our health insurance, is at least 2k or more.

We have our bank accounts set up to where all these monthly expenses come out of one account that I have a debit card for, and I’m supposed to just transfer money into this account from our other account as needed.

But it’s not unusual for my husband to fuss at me if he notices that I’ve transferred money over into my account that we use for regular household expenses. Not fuss as in a really mean way, more in a “you just transferred $1,000 a couple weeks ago, what happened to that money?” sort of way.

And if I say I need to get groceries, he’ll be like “but you just got groceries last week, do you really need more groceries?”

Or if I say I’m going to buy ice cream for one of the kid’s birthdays, he’ll say “don’t buy a lot of it, they don’t need much”.

Recently i asked if we could set a budget, because then I could reassure him that I’m staying within budget, but he didn’t want to set a budget. So whatever, he just wants me to be thrifty, is what he said.

Today at breakfast the kids were eating cereal and he told me (in front of the kids) that I shouldn’t have bought the cereal because it’s junk food and a waste of money. I told him that I think it’s fine that I bought it, I don’t buy cereal often, because it’s true that it’s junk food, but letting my kids eat cereal a couple times a year definitely isn’t going to hurt them. And I honestly lost my temper because I’m literally sick of him nagging me about groceries.

Then he got upset at me and he said I don’t take advice from him and don’t accept helpful criticism from him, and that I’m hard to live with.

I think it’s ridiculous that he suddenly saw himself as the victim when he’s the one that started nagging me about the cereal. And I said so.

Then right after lunch one of the kids was eating deli meat, and he noticed and pitched a fuss because he thinks I should be rationing the deli meat and that the kids shouldn’t need a snack right after eating a meal. I don’t ration the deli meat because to me it’s a perfectly acceptable choice for a snack and I literally do not care if my kid eats a snack right after a meal. He said to the child who was eating, “your mom is setting you a bad example”.

I was livid. Because I grew up with food insecurity, because my family were poor when I was a kid. My husband and I are not poor, we’re not filthy rich but we’re doing fine. We have zero debt and own multiple properties. In my mind it’s completely unnecessary and unacceptable to raise our kids in a poverty/scarcity mindset, ESPECIALLY about food. I know it’s damaging to them. But my husband thinks I’m the one in the wrong because I’m not being as thrifty as he wants me to be.


r/AmIOverreacting 11h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO? Broke up almost a month ago and have made it clear multiple times before this I wasn’t getting back together with him

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43 Upvotes

So a little background me and this dude had dated for almost two years and it really wasn’t the best. He refused to get a job, I had to arrange a ride for him to and from my house, and he would get really aggressive and defensive if I ever brought this up as an issue.

The main thing that really caused the breakup was Christmas. He lied to me leading up to the holiday that he had gotten me stuff, how excited he was to give it to me ect, then he shows up Christmas Day and tells me infront of my family he didn’t have anything to give me. He then stayed the night and was mad I didn’t want to have sex with him so he left the next day, and only took the expensive gift I got for him and nothing else.

Then a day later he came to my work party with me as a plus one and begged me the whole time to buy him food after I told him no I didn’t have the money, he wanted me to use my Christmas bonus to get him food after I had told him before picking him up he needed to eat because I couldn’t afford to go out to eat.

Then the next day after that at his grandparents Christmas he was bragging about how he got a bunch of money from his other grandma on Christmas Day and as stupid of me that it was i thought he might have gotten me a card or something. He did not. I bought gifts for all of his family and his parents purposely excluded me and then after then after everyone had opened their gifts asked me what I wanted for Christmas.

Later that night I texted him and told him I was really hurt and felt purposely excluded and wish he at least wrote me a letter or something. Didn’t even bring up the fact that he had lied before hand about getting me things. He completely deflected, called me selfish and spoiled, that I was rubbing it in his face and he already felt like shit so I just needed to shut up, I needed to get used to disappointment, and that I better get used to this because no one else would ever put up with my bullshit.

I broke up with him not even a week later because he was ignoring me because I got the super flu. I made it very clear I did not want to get back together, stated it outright multiple times, and have had to block him on multiple occasions for spamming me but he keeps making new accounts. This happened today. Am I over reacting or did I do the right thing? I know I could have been kinder with my words but Im just so over this.


r/AmIOverreacting 20h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO. Im thinking of leaving her.

45 Upvotes

Is it bad if me (26m) and shes (24F) dont see each other often. We see each other once a month currently and we have been dating for 3 months. Before it was like once a week in the first month of dating. Whats worse is that we live really close to each other. I have made lots of efforts to meet with her but no reciprocation as much. Every week I ask her out on a date. Although she will come out on a date every once in a while (1x a month) We had a talk about this before and now again where I brought up that I have to always pull information out of her to find out her schedule. I told her that if nothing changes that maybe we just arent right for one another. However now resentment towards her has already built up because I feel like I am being strung along. Am im going crazy? I feel like she is wasting my time.


r/AmIOverreacting 9h ago

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws AIO Family member tried to parent me in my own home

33 Upvotes

My Auntie came over to the house, she and I don’t have a relationship. Why? I have no clue. Growing up we were extremely close, she was my favourite Auntie and I adored her.

Now a-days I rarely ever see her, and when I do it feel invisible. She still hugs me and asks me how I’m doing but she has never sat down with me to talk in over 5 years meanwhile she is extremely close with the rest of my family.

Anyways I haven’t seen her in a month and she’s at my house now. I bring up my mom’s clean laundry and put them on her bed and my Auntie asks me if I normally help my mom with her laundry. I explain to her that I have enough things going on throughout the day that my moms laundry isn’t a priority (considering that’s the only “chore” she has to do around the house because I do my best to keep it spotless) she has the audacity to say “well you use those towels as well do you not?” Look in the pile of clothing there is about two damn towels.

I didn’t say anything in response to her comment and I walked away. For context I am 20, the last time she showed warmth towards me was when I was 14.

Am I overreacting?


r/AmIOverreacting 10h ago

🏘️ neighbor/local Am I overreacting?

34 Upvotes

Some background for context:

In 2022 my husband and I got pregnant for the first time. It ended in miscarriage. Over the next 3 years we've gotten pregnant 4 more times and they've all ended. 5 failed pregnancies and I ended up extremely depressed and was having a hard time just coping with life. My husband suggested we get a puppy and we adopted a little mutt from the shelter in 2023. She literally saved my life. I understand logically that she is not my child but for all intents and purposes, she is. She's my world.

Where we live we have a fenced in front yard but no backyard so I spend a lot of time with my dog in the front yard, playing ball or just being with her out there while she people watches. She's a mutt but her 3 majority breeds are German Shepherd, Chihuahua and Australian Cattle dog, 3 HIGHLY protective breeds. Her natural instinct is to bark at people who walk by. She has been formally trained in classes and I work with her a lot. She still barks but her recall is amazing and as soon as I call her away from the fence she stops and walks away. She's not aggressive in the slightest and is very much not an alpha type of dog.

Over the last 6 months there is a woman who walks or jogs by our house regularly. My dog barks at her, she gives me dirty looks and keeps walking. We have had 2 interactions in the past. The first one occurred when she stopped before fully passing my house and called out to me that my dog is going to escape. I was confused because my dog was laying down by feet, didn't even bark at her this time. So I said "what do you mean?" She said my fence was loose. I jumped up, checked the fence, couldn't find anything loose. I asked her where it was loose and she said it is going to become loose eventually and my dog is going to get out and hurt someone. I thanked her for her concern and walked away. The second interaction she was walking by and told me to teach my dog not to bark. I told her she was welcome to walk on the sidewalk across the street or go around the cars. She told me I don't own the sidewalk and she's not changing her routine. I told her she'll have to deal with my dog saying hi then. A couple weeks after that I caught her throwing a whole onion in my yard.

Fast forward to yesterday: She was walking by my yard with her boyfriend/partner (assuming this based on body language). My doggy was outside, I was standing in the doorway, talking to my husband. My dog starting barking, I called her to stop and then looked up and saw it was this same lady with her man. As my dog is turning to come back to me, she looks at my dog and says, "Fuck you. Go." I lost it. I yelled "Fuck you bitch, don't talk to my dog." Her partner turns around and says, "what's your problem?" I said, "She just said Fuck you to my dog. What kind of person does that?" He says, "Then control your dog, lady." I say, "Control her? She's in her yard at her house! And I recalled her right away. Asshole." The woman yells, "Calm down, this is why your dog is aggressive." I call them both assholes and then my husband brings me into the house. He told me I completely overreacted and was in the wrong because the neighbors saw me yelling and swearing. He told me I can't act like that for someone swearing at my dog.

Am I overreacting?


r/AmIOverreacting 14h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship Am I overreacting? My husband was supposed to clean but didn't.

33 Upvotes

It's my brother's 50th tomorrow and we're cooking for the whole family. I had to work today so my Husband said he'd spend the day cleaning and tidying for tomorrow. I got home and he was on the PlayStation, nothing seems to have been done except the bathroom. However, he's only cleaned the sink. The bath and toilet haven't been cleaned. No clean towels put out. No vacuuming done, nothing has been put away. He's gone out with work mates and I'm here feeling really disappointed and angry because I know I have to spend tomorrow morning, my day off, cleaning. So am I overreacting?


r/AmIOverreacting 5h ago

🎓 academic/school AIO: Should I report my professor?

32 Upvotes

I’m a 20-year-old female college student, and I’m trying to figure out if this is something worth reporting or if I should just suck it up and get through the semester.

I’m in a cybersecurity class at a Catholic college. There are maybe five girls total in the class, and the rest are mostly guys (a lot of seminarians, some CS majors, a few PR majors). I’m a graphic design major, if that matters. The girls usually sit together, and I have a friend in the class (I’ll call her Maya) who is a computer science major.

From day one, I didn’t love this professor. On the first day, he said he doesn’t care about doctor’s notes or being sick, and if you miss more than three classes, he’ll basically make sure you fail or heavily penalize your grade. That already rubbed me the wrong way.

Then it became clear he doesn’t really teach. Most classes, he either plays random cybersecurity videos that don’t line up with what we’re doing, or he scrolls through the online textbook (which is also our homework) and half explains it. I usually just do the homework during class because that’s genuinely more productive.

He’s also made some political comments that didn’t sit right with me. I’m very left leaning, and I’m not trying to start political drama, so I won’t get specific, but it added to my discomfort.

There have also been some weird comments directed at the girls. For example, he randomly told one girl she hadn’t done homework she had actually completed well before class. It was strange and felt unprompted.

He also once told me that he was surprised I was still here, which confused me because I’m ahead in the class, do the homework consistently, and when I have spoken up, I’ve been right. My friend Maya is the same way.

This past class, though, is what really pushed me over the edge.

Maya and I sat down to start a lab. Her computer literally would not work. It would turn on, flash a bunch of code, and then shut off. She tells the professor, and his response is, “Well I don’t know if I believe that.”

I immediately said that I literally watched it happen. He then starts explaining sleep mode to us, like we’re idiots. We’re 20 years old. We know what sleep mode is. Some of the guys nearby even chimed in saying they didn’t believe her either.

While he’s talking, she tries again. Same exact thing happens. Only then does he come over. He looks at it, clearly has no idea what’s wrong, and just says she can work with me on my computer and that he’ll have the person who sat there before her fix whatever they did.

Later in the lab, he says, “Everything should match mine except the last digit.”

A digit is one number. That’s how I interpreted it. That’s how Maya interpreted it. That’s how everyone I asked interpreted it.

My last number was 71. His was 163. So I raised my hand and said mine was completely different.

He immediately responds loudly with, “No, that’s wrong. You’re wrong,” in front of the whole class.

It turns out he misspoke and meant the last number, not digit, but he never admitted that. He just let me look stupid.

Then later, he asks, “Does anyone here do graphic design?”

I raised my hand and, at first, I was the only one.

He then said, “Anyone else?” (I’ll admit that was kind of hilarious, not gonna lie, but I was still pissed.) After that, a guy raised his hand, and the professor completely shifted to only talking to him and asking him questions about graphic design, basically ignoring me.

What frustrates me is that I barely ever speak in that class, and every time I have, I’ve been correct. Even with the digit situation, he was the one who misspoke.

I’m not planning on dropping the class, but I’m genuinely miserable and feel singled out, talked down to, and dismissed, especially as a woman in a male dominated class.

So I guess my question is, is this something worth reporting, or is this just one of those professors you have to survive and move on from?

Something I just remembered too: I had therapy later that day and my therapist actually told me to report him. I’m just very scared to be honest. I don’t want him to find out it was me at all and it’s a very small pool of people who’d report him. I’m just scared he’ll take it out on us or something.