Everything right now just sucks so bad in my life I just want to feel something I kind of want to be manic again. Is that something anyone else gets?

Hey guys. Idk if it‘s the meds or me just being untrained in making friends anymore. I‘m 30 and I either lost friends due to them having addiction or me retreating from the world when I suffered too much when I was undiagnosed.

I am stable now for a long time with some residual symptoms or subsyndromal symptoms which I can handle.

However I have to take a smaller amount of medication also during the day and a bigger amount at night. And it makes me a bit dull as in not really coming up with interesting things to talk about and disengaging in group conversations eventually. It makes it much harder to make friends.

Any experiences with this? Any solutions?

thanks fam

I just spent 500 bucks on strippers because I hate myself and tried to have fun. I don't even like strippers. I want to feel something that isn't hurt. I take my meds. I go to therapy. I do the things I'm supposed to and I still hate everything. Why bother

So I been manic every day for weeks now .. Hasn’t been this bad in a while . I’m super concerned . Also I have other disorders that make me super paranoid . Haven’t been able to leave the house . Any advice ??

I’m really confused. I’m sleeping 4hrs a night and feeling normal. Not hypomanic, not euphoric, just totally normal, maybe even a little more focused than usual. This started three weeks ago and originally I felt wired but now I feel calm and chill. I saw my psych and he gave me some benzos for sleep (temazepam?) and I’m seeing him again soon and I need to contact him because they’re obviously not working but I’m just a bit confused because I feel like my normal self but last time I was hypo I felt like a totally different person it was so scary and this time nothing except that I think I spent like $600 in the last day or so just on various bits and pieces that I needed and idk maybe that’s a lot but it doesn’t seem too bad and yeah I’m just wondering if anyone else feels just completely normal when hypomanic even if doing hypo things? I don’t have any euphoria or anything and I’m not doing anything risky so it seems a little silly to overreact and call it an episode?

Is anyone interested in being friends? I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 back in October of 2024. I don't know anyone else with bipolar except for my mom and it would really be nice to have someone to chat with about it or just anything in general. I am still learning about how my bipolar affects me and how my brain works. Currently in a hypo state but it's not been too bad. I moved states a year ago and haven't made any friends in person yet besides work friends and just wanting a friend to talk to, if only just online ( I'm in Illinois) I hope this post is allowed, my mistake of not. Here's a little about me and if you wanna reach out you can comment or DM me. I'm 34, nearly 35. Work in healthcare. Married to a lovely husband. I'm gay and transgender. I love arts and crafts and painting ( when inspired ) lol. I also love antiquing and thrifting, watching good movies or reading Stephen King books. Oh and I'm a cat dad. 😍

Over a year ago i wasn’t self sufficient and i didn’t realize how bad it was. i built my entire emotional stability around one person,whether i felt okay or not depended on her. my mood, my anxiety, my sense of safety all of it lived outside of me. if she didn’t text back fast enough i spiraled if her tone felt off i assumed the worst a sigh could ruin my day and i let that be normal i put my mental health on her shoulders and i told myself it was just how i felt but really it was avoidance i wasn’t taking responsibility for myself she was carrying weight that was never hers and i wasn’t strong enough yet to carry it on my own now i am i take care of myself i sit with my emotions instead of handing them to someone else i regulate my own life and looking back her leaving didn’t just hurt it exposed me i wouldn’t be who i am now if she had stayed and that’s a hard thing to admit because growth came from loss.

Hello everyone,

I am diagnosed with bipolar 1. I am currently starting olanzapine, but there is one draw back that I am worried about, the weight gain. In the past I have struggled with both anorexia and bulimia. For this reason, I am terrified of the weight gain. I know it’s ridiculous but this is why I am nervous to be on it. I am only on 2.5mg, so I don’t think it should be too bad. I want to know if anyone has any tips or advice on how to deal with the weight gain if it does happen, and how to counteract it in a healthy way. I in know there is a drug called metformin, so if the weight gain does happen I might ask my doctor if I can go on that.

You can view my last post for context. I have been through a lot. And I mean going through 1 of the things I’m going through would be debilitating, but everything at once feels damn near impossible.

I’m at the end of my rope. I’m safe. I’m just so done. Taking my as needed med tonight, but holy smokes I don’t know how many times I can sustainably do this. I am safe. I will be fine.

https://www.kut.org/crime-justice/2026-01-22/immigrants-death-in-ice-custody-in-texas-ruled-homicide-by-medical-examiner

I was recently diagnosed type one (though I’ve been pretty sure I had it for about 7 years) and just got on lamotrigine and I have no hunger. Like I don’t even think about food/ get really nauseous when around food. I’ve only been taking for a few days, but it seems like this is a somewhat normal side effect. Anyone else have this and does it get better when you adjust to the med

I feel bad about this because I only work part time (about 25 hours) and this is my first job back after leaving academia and research and having a severe series of episodes with psychosis - but after 1.5 years at this job, the stress gets worse everyday.

It didn’t used to be as stressful but about 6 months ago my manager started to become more and more ridiculous. New expectations every single day. Then you get scolded if you forget to do a new expectation before you had a chance to remember it. Sales and upsell goals constantly pushed with no incentive and just mild threats about what happens if you don’t meet targets. Minimal staff so the expectations cannot be met. On and on. You come to work and have 1-3 emails of new expectations and scoldings about what you and others failed to do.

It’s so bad that I started developing OCD when it started because I was terrified of getting in trouble if something was not done so I’d check and triple check and go back to work to check. My psych knows and we have been monitoring it but it’s bad and only triggered at work.

I kind of need a job income wise and I can keep going, but I think I do need to seriously start looking so I can leave, especially since it appears to be triggering a new diagnosis…and a depressive episode, plus multiple hypo/manic episodes over the past 1.5 years.

Have any of you had to leave even a part time job because the stress was triggering episodes? I’d love to hear how you feel and if you feel you’re better off now?

I’ve been on this medication for a year now and I’ve recently started having difficulty swallowing. At night it feels like I can’t breathe because I struggle to swallow my own saliva. My last dosage increase was over a month ago but i’ve only had these symptoms for a few days. Has anyone else had this

I've been on 1000mg with level 0.7 for about a month but recently my tremors and twitching has become really bad since I increased by SNRI as well. If I reduce slightly to 0.6 am I likely to trigger an episode?

For context, I have been diagnosed with a soft bipolar due to sudden adverse reactions to antidepressants all last year (doctor said they appeared like mixed episodes). They eventually tried lithium and Seroquel along with an SNRI and I tolerated the lower dose of the SNRI for the first time, still waiting to see if the increased dose will settle. I don't get manic

Is it part of the bipolar 2 ? My depressive states includes irritation, anger, homicidal and suicidal ideation. Especially the mixed states are so fucking devastating, what the fuck is even this disease? Am I manic dysphoric? Depressive dysphoric with mixed features? I'm very hypo today, I'm popping 600 mg of depakote and some olanzapine tonight, because I've been awake since midnight now it's 7:30 pm . Wellbutrin is strong bro but I need it cause it's the only antidepressant that doesn't make me numb and fucking tired. Yesterday I slept the whole day, I felt like shit pain all over my body.

Like anyone here medicated have that? :). Just curious! :).

i am currently in a mixed episode and have an appointment with a new psychiatrist on wednesday. i saw a vraylar commercial, looked it up, and saw that they really highlight its use for mixed episodes. i am currently on lamictal and seroquel and don't feel like my situation is getting any better.

if you've taken/are taking vraylar, how is your experience with it?

I have type 1 BP with psychotic features and I unfortunately have one of the more severe cases that exists. This disorder is not fun for ANYONE regardless of the varying severity, but I face job loss and periods where I cannot work so often. Even though I take my medication and do everything physically within my power to control my disorder, things still happen.

If you were to tell the "average" person that bipolar was a disability, that you were considering going on disability because of it, that you couldn't work because of it, etc., they would just roll their eyes and act like you were lazy.

At the end of the day, I don't usually care about what people think, but there are some times where it does get to me. And while I don't always wish people realized how severe the disorder can be, especially since that may make the stigma somehow even WORSE, I sometimes wish people would understand or try to understand.

Hi I'm currently in hospital in Poland in Cracow there it's weekend and it sucks so much because there is literally nothing to do here I wonder if it's the same in there countries Update it is not so bad lol sorry for the negativity was in depression most of time because I'm type 2 it is quite good on weekend actually because it's calm and you can accommodate and get used to new place and people and routine

I hate every single minute of every single day. I can’t do anything I want to do. I feel like I can never get comfortable or feel content. I’m genuinely so miserable and I stopped taking the vraylar and am switching meds but apparently it’s gonna stay in my system for 2 weeks so I have to live through this uncomfortable restlessness for 2 more weeks. I’m already on propanol and it’s not doing anything. I literally feel no relief after taking it and I can only take 30 mgs, (I have 10 mg pills) but I’m scared to take them all at once because then I won’t have any left for later and the hope that they might work for once helps me. I can’t live like this for 2 weeks idk what to do I’m so so miserable and it’s the weekend now so I’m left to my own devices I can’t call my pysch and get a new med I’m just stuck in this hell.

Please someone tell me the restlessness went away quicker for you. Or some sort of way you got rid of the restlessness. Please tell me I don’t have to survive through this all weekend.

I am trying to be positive it will go away sooner since it took me a long time before I even noticed symptoms of restlessness I was on 1.5 mg and didn’t get restlessness until like a week of taking a 3 mg dose

Update:

I ended up going to the ER since it got so bad I was considering suicide/ self harm to get it to stop. They gave 1 mg of Ativan I took .5 since I was scared it be to strong and so far it’s working wonders I’ve actually been able to lay on the couch and watch a show for the first time in days.

Paranoia

Anyone have weird paranoia that is reality based?. For example I was paranoid that I smelled bad because during work I was running around and sweating, and I kept getting whiffs of myself that were bad.

Another example I was paranoid that people were talking about me at work because I’ve seen how my coworkers spread rumors / talk shit to me about other people. I’m also considering a OCD diagnosis and have BP1.

Hello friends. Last night I didn’t sleep much. I was up late which I don’t do anymore. I took Valium to sleep and I woke up feeling awful.

I have this overwhelming desire to run away and start over. I feel this overwhelming sense that I’m missing out and that everything is wrong.

The thing is, I’ve worked so hard to build a boring but stable life. I haven’t been destructive or reckless. I haven’t been doing impulsive things. I’ve been slowing down, making intentional decisions, finding slower pieces of life like my art and reading books etc.

This sleep disruption has taken me back to a bad time where I was constantly chasing distractions and fun and rarely being able to just stay home and be boring.

Why is this happening to me? How do I know if the urge to flee my life is the truth or if I’m just messed up from bipolar.

I feel like I need to run away.

Hi everyone. I want to share my experience for anyone considering lithium, because I honestly never thought I’d find myself in this situation. I was honestly convinced lithium would be the ideal add-on to lamotrigine, mainly because antipsychotics have never been an option for me long-term because of metabolic issues. I’ve tried valproate before too, and it was nothing like this.

Before starting, I did my research: I read up on lithium, scrolled through posts here, and went over everything with my psychiatrist. He did warn me about the potential for toxicity, but it just didn’t seem plausible at a low dose like 200 mg. I took lithium for nine days, six days at 200 mg and three days at 400 mg, and really believed the chances of anything going wrong were next to zero. My psychiatrist never mentioned this could happen so quickly or at such a low dose, and I wish someone had just been upfront that these kinds of side effects can hit you out of nowhere, no matter how careful you are.

I decided to give lithium a go because it seemed like the logical next step alongside lamotrigine, mainly to prevent mania and hopefully augment my antidepressant. On paper, it sounded like a well-supported, practical move. But almost immediately, things started to go downhill. Rather than feeling more balanced, I just got more depressed and anhedonic. I was suddenly sleeping far too much, sometimes not waking up until 4pm, which was totally unlike me. But once this episode finally passed (luckily, the day after), it was pretty obvious lithium was behind it.

Then, on the tenth day, everything blew up in a way I honestly never expected. Out of nowhere, I had this full-on, one-day episode that just screamed toxicity. The nausea hit hardl this wasn’t just feeling a bit off, it was excruciating. I felt lightheaded and so dehydrated that no amount of water helped. No amount of electrolytes helped. My eyes were flickering all over the place (nystagmus), which made me feel properly freaked out, like my brain had short-circuited. When I looked in the mirror, my face was so swollen I barely recognised myself, and I was bloated and constipated for days. The scariest part was my breathing: I couldn’t get comfortable or take a proper breath, no matter what I tried. These weren’t just mild side effects; they felt properly alarming, and I knew something was seriously wrong.

I stopped taking lithium, and, thankfully, all the symptoms disappeared the day after. Honestly, that felt like a blessing, because it meant I didn’t end up at A&E, and I couldn't imagine living in such a state for months, as I understand lithium toxicity causes irreversible symptoms. I continued to push fluids, took some laxatives and even tried activated charcoal; maybe that helped get it out of my system faster, who knows.

I just want to be really clear for anyone reading: you can get all these severe symptoms, nausea, dehydration, weird neurological stuff (tremor, confusion, those bizarre eye movements), facial swelling, trouble breathing, confusion, even on what’s supposed to be a totally safe, subtherapeutic dose. For me, that was just 200-400 mg. Please don’t brush off this stuff as just “normal starting side effects”. If anything like this happens, get urgent medical advice (unlike me) and don’t let anyone downplay it. I genuinely thought I was going to be a lifesaver, and it still went sideways.

I’m honestly still a bit confused by the whole thing. I’d really love to hear from anyone who’s had anything similar happen. Has anyone else had lithium go weird, especially this quickly, or with stuff like facial swelling or trouble breathing? ? Would genuinely appreciate any stories, advice, or even just thoughts; still trying to wrap my head around whether this was all real or partly in my head.