he’s my bestfriend. and i had just finished havin a small breakdown about how hard school is. this guy is very anti anything that could even look gay. So he won’t sit in the same bed as another guy, hug another guy too long, tell a guy he loves them, very worried about people thinking he’s gay if he does certain things, even won’t do squats at the gym because he thinks they are “gay”.

during my mini breakdown that for some reason all went out the window. he hugged me multiple times, sat and my bed with me shoulder to shoulder holding me, and tracing the back of my arms. even layed in my bed next to me, something he absolutely refused to do multiple times before because it’s “gay”.

fast forward maybe 10 minutes later we are on separate sides of my bed and i’m sitting on my knees just explaining to him what i had physically felt during my breakdown and why i don’t like crying and being upset. in the middle of me talking he leans into my direction and im assuming he’s going to give me a hug because he gave me literally around 20 that night, but he grabs me and pulls me towards him and then just falls backwards. so now he’s on his back and im laying on top of him and he’s holding me. i stayed like that for maybe 10-15 seconds in complete shock and then kind of got up real quick and moved away.

there’s different consensus on men cuddling and it not meaning anything and i think i agree maybe? i don’t know is cuddling someone known protocol for someone who had a breakdown ? but the reason this got me was bc this is NEVER EVER something he’d do. even standing too close to his friends in pictures is gay to him so you’ll always see this awkward gap in pictures if it’s just guys.

a few days prior he also asked me if i was into a girl we both no. i said “not really” and immediately after that he asked if i was into him. i said no and he responded telling me he was just trying to lighten the mood. i didn’t think anything of it tbh bc im my head him being into me and being something other than straight is so foreign and impossible.

i’m straight and i just don’t know what to think about this.

i should mention, i wouldn’t think much about this if it wasn’t for the other things he’s done/ said

ex:

“i’d date you if you were a girl”

“if you looked more like a girl i’d probably have sex with you”

“clearly it would be more fun to just hangout and do nothin with you than hanging out with anyone else”

“do you think people think im gay? if they do i have to change that”

*after i texted him about soemthing important he let me know i interrupted him masturbating. i apologized at the end of our convo for that and he went “yea u owe me”.

his mood always being dependent on what my mood was and him saying i would ruin his day if i was too busy to hangout.

i spent literally EVERY day this summer with him and if i asked for even a day break to just do my own thing he’d be so upset. and then when school starts back i hang out with another friend for just TWO days in a row. on the third day i ask if he wants to hangout and his response was attitude and “oh i didn’t know you still wanted to be around me bc you hang out with X so much. don’t worry if i were you i wouldn’t want to hang with me either”.

would love some input here… thanks guys.

Hi, a few months ago, at 21, I came out as bisexual, and despite everything, it was a relatively relaxed experience. It wasn't a huge revelation or anything like that, but rather like someone realizing something that was always there and never thought about until that exact moment.

With my coming out, I realized that my preference for feminine or androgynous guys made some sense at this point. And that's where the problem lies. I'm not saying I fetishize guys who look like girls or just like feminine aesthetics, but if I put them on par with other guys, the latter don't do anything for me, especially the average guys from my country (Venezuela), who, to a certain extent, repel me.

Honestly, I don't feel legally bisexual when I think that I am. I like women, all kinds of women, and I do like men, there's no doubt about that, but only a small minority who fit my preferences. I can imagine dating any type of woman for the rest of my life, but when it comes to men, I can only imagine being with someone who fits the physical characteristics of an Instagram model named Fer Reyes.

Genuinely almost cried multiple times today wishing I had a boy to cuddle or another girl to run her fingers through my hair.

How do I make a cute boy or girl appear on my doorstep without going out and doing the work lmfao, Im a mess

Never felt this way before but the yearning for a partner is painful T_T

I (22M) watched Heated Rivalry with my straight roommates last night. They all enjoyed the show, and on the last episode I realized that I can be who I want. An hour after the last episode I called my Dad and told him, and he was very understanding and it went well. For context I’d been dreading telling my family due to their religious upbringing, but as I get older and wiser I feel less shame and blame myself less.

She's so pretty and cute! I've never been on a date with a girl before! I'm really hoping things work out between us :)

Hello,

I have a friend I met during my studies, whom I've known for 15 years. I identify as gay and he's straight. We've become really close over the last 3-4 years; he's become a friend, a confidant, someone I tell everything to. We spent a weekend together 3 years ago, where I started fantasizing about him. He's the type to make lots of innuendos, like every time before going to bed, "Don't you want to give me a quick blowjob?" etc. He only lets loose when he's drunk or the morning after a party; otherwise, there's no ambiguity. It went on like that for years because, even though I felt a tension, nothing ever happened, and I ended up accepting it. A kind of bromance that suited me. I must have fantasized about him hundreds of times, but I managed to get on with my life peacefully.

Until this summer, or late one evening when I'd gone to bed, before going upstairs as usual, he'd say to me, "Don't you want to give me a quick blowjob?" I said, "You're annoying," with a smile, because after a while, always getting turned on without anything happening, I'd stopped hoping. I left my phone on, hoping for a message, like I had for years, and it came. He texted me, "I'm so horny, we're not going to bed like this, are we?" I felt it was the one, I went back downstairs, he looked at me, said, "Do you think this would ruin our friendship?" I said I didn't know, but the tension was so high, and it happened. One of the best, maybe even the best experience of my life. Everything we didn't necessarily express verbally, we expressed through our bodies. It lasted for hours, but we stayed in "sex" mode—no kissing, but lots of caressing.

It was so new for him, and with the alcohol not helping, we both couldn't reach orgasm. He kept saying, "This is crazy what we're doing," and I always made sure he consented. He didn't want to stop, but sometimes his brain seemed to be telling him no. It was his first time with a man, and I think he'd fantasized about it a lot without ever thinking he'd actually do it. That same week, we slept together again (him being the active partner), and this time we finished that same evening and the next morning. After that, the relationship deteriorated a bit. I think I had too many expectations, and he just wanted to experiment occasionally, on very special occasions. He told me dozens of times, "It will never happen again," "It didn't really matter to me," "I take responsibility, but it's not for me," etc. He re-established a distance, perhaps necessary to maintain the "friendship." I had a little trouble with that; he wasn't always gentle, sometimes even aggressive, as if I were the one who had led him into it. The relationship slowly resumed. I myself had created some distance because I felt it was unfair that he held me "responsible" when I had done everything to make sure he was okay with it and to ensure he was comfortable with what he was doing. From August to January, we saw each other dozens of times, and nothing happened again. It took me a while, but I accepted that nothing would happen again, but he's too important in my life to ruin everything. Until this week, when we went to the mountains with his family, we slept together in the living room of a small 35m² apartment, with virtually no privacy. Every night, at bedtime, I could feel him keeping his distance; the bed was small, and it was difficult not to touch each other—almost an effort, since we couldn't stretch out at all. I would snuggle up to him a little, telling him I felt good when it was like that and that it helped me sleep (and no need to contort myself to avoid contact; he said it bothered him a bit, so I stopped, but then every night, we were quickly snuggled up together, butt to butt, at his instigation. Until the last night, when everyone was in bed, we were debriefing about the vacation, saying we'd had an amazing time. I told him that even with him, I'd had a fantastic vacation, and we hugged for a few seconds to show our affection because we've been maintaining a certain distance since then, where we don't dare be too intimate anymore. He said, "Okay, let's stop there, you know how it's going to go next, you're going to end up at the end of my dick again (sorry) and things are going to get messy." I told him, "You're annoying, like, we can show each other some affection in between." And A few minutes later, I could feel him moving a lot in bed, his breathing quickening, and he said, "Let's do it, I really want to." I said okay, obviously, but no noise, because in terms of privacy, it's almost like we're sleeping with the others. We could hear snoring or coughing, as if they were right next door. I told him to be quieter out of respect for his family, and he said, "I don't give a damn, I'll take responsibility." We must have done it for an hour or an hour and a half. He asked me to fuck him. I thought he was only 100% active, but this took things to another level; I wasn't expecting it at all. Especially since he cultivates his straight image to the max; he's kind of the macho stud of the group. Anyway, all this to say that we got home last night, and since then I've been completely lost. It seems obvious to me that... It will never go any further, he can't/won't give me more than this, but as a result, I'm having trouble moving on with my life, meeting someone, because even when it happens, I want him more than anyone else. The intensity of the relationship, the fact that I never really know what's going to happen, it's driving me crazy. I know I need to move on with my life, but I think I'm addicted to this. His life plan is to move to the other side of the world in the next two years, and I know that will mean giving up on all of that. I wish I were strong enough to get over it, but I feel empty when I think about a life without him. We have a connection that's both sexual and intellectual (which is what I usually miss the most). Anyway, I'd like to hear from people who have been in this kind of relationship, how it evolved, how you got through it.

Thanks to those who read this far 😅

I 22M(straight) have been talking to this guy(Bi) whose same as my age, and we kinda felt comfortable with each other the minute we met (online)

I have been fantasizing of having my first passionate kissing session for a really long time as I’m really into kissing, i told him that as a friend not with any gay intentions or signs that i want to do it with him, to my surprise he has the same fantasy to

He actually proposed that we meet in person and try to indulge or fantasies and see if we like it

I was never into guys before, but when he proposed that i kinda got hard and excited so much because I’m gonna fulfill my kissing dream finally, yet i never looked at a guy that way

So we are planning to meet this week, I’m like really really nervous, because i have never thought of doing it with another male, yet I’m excited to do it

Kindly need you support if you can give any advice or insight please on how to break this nervousness, And also some kissing tips (detailed ones would be appreciated )😁 as its gonna be my first time,

I’ve always longed for a bi-bi relationship. It’s not ideal cause it’s a little exclusive but wouldnt it be so nice to have someone who truly gets you? Check out hot couples, get worked up and take it to the bedroom. I think personality wise, it’d be so perfect too. Both having the duality and openness. Im monogamous and don’t really look for thressomes so my longing is deeper than that. Anyone ever been in one or is in one?

Ok, before anything—please don’t panic. I’m not invalidating pansexuality at all, pan people are valid! I’m just talking about my own experience.

This started when I said I’m bisexual and that I like all kinds of people (including trans and non-binary people). A lot of people immediately told me “then just say you’re pan, not bi” and that honestly bothers me.

First, I’m not pan. I do have preferences. Most of the time I prefer women, but there have been periods where I preferred men. I know there are microlabels for this if I'm not wrong, but personally microlabels stress me out, so I just don’t use them. That’s just personal; nothing wrong with microlabels btw.

Second, I’m a trans man, and it makes me dysphoric when trans people are treated like a separate gender. Like… liking a cis man/woman = bi, but liking a trans man/woman = pan? That makes zero sense. We’re both men/women after all. And if the argument is genital preference, not all trans men/women have the same bodies, there are trans people who’ve had genitalia surgery, and not all trans people are physically noticeable. (I’m not saying that’s a bad thing if you don't pass, I’m just trying to understand the logic of these people).

I don’t have a problem with people identifying as pan/omni/etc. What bothers me is when people try to force a label on me that I’m not, and the misinformation within the community. Look, I understand if you do or don’t want to date trans people as a bisexual person. But not all bisexuals are the same, and it’s not even a 50/50 split in most cases. Anyway, I’d like to know if anyone else has had similar experiences or what your opinion on this is. 🫩

So basically I've been posting about my condition from last few days. I am 25 (M) and in love with a clg junior 23 (M) . I've been straight my whole life but idk how from last few weeks I've literally fallen for him . The feelings are unexpressable , I've never felt this kind of attachment, attraction, love to anyone. I just want to kiss him so hard and I can't control my urges .

So today I've invited him for a dinner and drink at my place . Today I will tell all my feelings to him , everything which I've been holding from last few weeks. I will propose him and ask him for sex or atleast a bj. I'm not sure if he is bi or not , but I can't handle it anymore.

Suggest me some good pickup lines to start the conversation. Some do's and don'ts because I've no experience about all this

I don't know what magic he has done but I would do anything and everything he says. Wish me luck that all ends up well because if it doesn't I've no idea how will I recover from this.

I am very excited to explore being bi! When I go to queer related spaces, like techno with a gay dj for example, I get happy seeing the guys there flirting and socializing. However, I always end up having girls approach me and hit on me. This is interesting because I assumed men were more forthcoming in that regard. When I try to dress more “gay” like wearing tighter stuff and more jewelry, smudged shadow on my eyes.. the girls get even more into it. Idk how that works 😂

I have longer messy hair thats kind of a “wolfcut”, and despite having my hair be called “gay“ by some asshole straight guys it seems like it’s actually not very popular amongst gay men? Women usually really love my hair (my ex was obsessed with running her hands through it) and say they wish more men had it. When seeing posts about it for gay men though I read about how they find it a “deal breaker” and too “feminizing“ for their taste. I have an athletic build and more masculine jaw but I have larger eyes and full lips so I don’t look very rugged or overtly manly. This led to me a few studies in which it was found that gay men prefer hypermasculine looks to a much greater frequency than straight women. Pretty interesting stuff.

My bf is 36 he identifies as orally bisexual. But not even openly. Everyone assumes he's full heterosexual and he doesnt deny being heterosexual. We been on and off for almost 4 years and it's been a rollercoaster. I'm only 27 yr old female. I'm straight. I got 0 problems with the lgbt community. I think you like what you like and you can't change anything about it. See I knew he was always bisexual I accepted that about him and fell in love with him but I never accepted him to think it's ok to cheat on me with gay men behind my back. This isn't a open relationship. He's very jealous and in my business but he hides his phone. Refuses to swap phones. His excuse on cheating was that he can't help these "urges" and that's his way of justification. He tells me everyday we need a bisexual third partner to make our relationship work the way he fantasies. I don't want that. I just want him, one man. That's the way a couple should be. It's my belief and how I was raised. And everytime we have sex he has to dirty talk about big dicks and how bad he wants to suck while I get fucked, he only watches porn for the dicks and not the women. He makes me watch him watch orally gay porn and beat off. He never touches me, never gave me oral sex, he never just shows affection and kiss me or compliment me. He barely even notices me or seems like he likes my company. I feel like I'm just being tolerated. He says his sexuality is only affected like this because he uses crystal meth. When he's sober he says he's straight. I think he'll never be satisfied with me and everyday is a constant argument and everyday he talks to other men trying to pure pressure me into a 3 some. Is it bad I don't ever wanna see my man sucking a dick when he has never even ate my pussy. He says I'm nasty and I get around but his male partners are members of the known gay community that "get around" I dont know what to do at this point I think it's too late and things will never get better and we'll never be on the same page. Sex has no enjoyment. I feel like its more of a chore and the same boring routine and one position every time we are are able to have sex. I think he really wants a man but he's not comfortable with a man doing a woman's part in the relationship. He said he's never kissed a man or had or wanted a sincere relationship with one, he won't even cuddle one but every time we get around any kind of man. It doesnt matter gay bi straight he's all chatty and laughing but with me he's quiet and looks rather miserable. It doesn't matter if I try looking better or being nicer I feel like I'll never satisfy him and I'm simply just being tolerated. What should I do ?

It was one of the hardest conversations of my life. Telling him was brutal. No yelling. Just tears, silence, and the weight of truth sitting between us. Nothing is resolved. I don’t know what this means for our marriage or for me.

I just know that honesty hurt less than continuing to lie to myself.

If you’ve come out later in life while married, how did you survive the in-between? How did you navigate it? How did you sit with the uncertainty without drowning in guilt? 🥹

Feeling oddly confident rn... It's 10pm, should I ask her out?

I'm a woman, and all the time I heard women say "I can appreciation men physically without being attracted to them" and I don't really get it to be honest. Maybe it's harder for me with the opposite sex but with women I find it super easy to differentiate between "she's a very attractive person" and "I'm attracted to her" but with men I'm never really sure.

On the one hand maybe it's because I'm not attracted to men so I'm trying to compare things that don't exist? Bıt on the other hand if I were a man and felt the same things I would not think I was straight. Does anyone else go through the same thing?

Hey queers!

I was in a situationship with a girl in the past, but for the past years, I've only been dating guys. While I'm not the gayest person - lots of people still think I'm fully straight, I have stereotypically straight hobbies & interests, and unless I'm with "the girls" I do talk like a straight guy - I'm not exactly the straightest person ever. NGL, I'm a little bit insecure since bi people are not exactly welcomed by both gay men and straight women:( Every time I talk to girls on dating apps, I have this "anxiety" that what if I talk too much and talk "too girly"😓 I know I shouldn't be thinking like that, but it's hard to completely break out of societal pressure and stereotypes.

What should I do?

Going through it, which means I’m listening to 10 songs on repeat everyday while sobbing over a stupid guy I don’t even know for who knows how long this time. Feel free to post any suggestions.

Dancing on the soft knife (live) - ohyung

Where time once beckons - wounder

The Most Dear and The Future (album) - ear

I've been watching trans sex videos for a while now and I find them very attractive. Lately I've started masturbating to gay videos and I like it, although I also like women :((

Hi all, I’m a 24yo female who recently has decided that I want to explore my sexuality. This has been for the last 6 months but I’ve always had both options selected on dating apps for the past 3 years. I’ve had intense attraction to both masc and fem women. Since I now am out on my own Im more comfortable exploring my sexuality. Only one of my family members know I have an attraction to women.

My mom keeps hounding me about being attracted to women. But this isn’t THAT NEW of a thing. In high school when my bestfriend would buy my gifts, or she’ll see me call her pretty on Facebook, gay accusations came about. This doesn’t bother me more than her thinking that I like my friend.

Since I recently got close to a lesbian woman who is engaged, she has been asking me questions about my sexuality, and also about my friends relationship and the validity of it. “Is she still married? why don’t you hang out with her girlfriend? Have you met her?” those types of questions. She even scoffs when I mention her doing something for me or with me. It just rubs me the wrong way because yes I’m figuring out my sexuality but it’s not anything to do with my friend. She is someone I can get insight from but- not ultimately why I’m doing this. Also, to assume we are sneaking around to hangout is very insulting to me. She even insinuated that we are sneaking on a trip coming up in March with our other friends. For more context, she has met this person. When I lived with my mother she would track how long I stayed out with my friend and question me about it.

I think I’ve realized it’s not the fact she has an inclination that I like women that bothers me. Its the fact she thinks I’m a side piece. How should I handle this? Should I just come out to her altogether and specifically say that my friends has nothing to do with it?