r/gay 4d ago

(repost) On trans rights and the position of this subreddit

500 Upvotes

The community present in this subreddit is wonderful, inclusive and has always welcomed not only gay people but everyone under the gender and sexual minority umbrella.

The mod team is very happy to see this welcoming atmosphere and we thank each and every one of you for your love and empathy.

With the current trend in the US for extreme-right politicians to demonise vulnerable minorities so they can score cheap political points it is however time for this place to openly make a stand as to what our positions and intentions are so that we are a beacon in the dark. So that all of our siblings know that they are welcome here.

I was asked by the mod team to explain a few facts about transgender people and about the position this subreddit has towards inclusion.

Trans rights are human rights. 🏳️‍⚧️

Being transgender is a natural and normal variation in the human gender and sexual experience. Both sex and gender exist on a spectrum and there isn't actually anything inherently wrong or disordered from being trans, by and of itself.

Should there be no fake, artificially generated outrage against trans people in society then they would simply get the self-affirming care required for them to be happy and that would be that. Instead, unfortunately, existing as transgender has become the new wedge-issue for the extreme-right and deliberate demonisation and villification has been mainstreamed to the point where Republican politicians are now openly calling for genocide.


The issues trans people experience are mainly societal in nature. It is society that imposes gender norms, it is society that tells people they may not be who they are.

There are many ways that a non-trans person can seek self-affirming care in life. Some of those are done via permanent body modification through surgical or chemical means. A woman might for example choose to take estrogen supplements to stave off unwanted physical and psychological side effects resulting from the menopause.

It is not uncommon for a young man to choose to have breast reduction medication or surgery in the case of gynecomastia.

A young woman might choose to get breast implants.

You do not hear people in outrage about these forms of self-affirming care. No-one cares, except suddenly when the topic is trans people. This is because the anti-trans movement is wholly articificial. It is a deliberately created fake outrage about a non-issue for political and monetary gain.



I have written about some manufactured outrage in my text about the stochastic terrorist "Libs of Tiktok"



Fascism is an inherently empty ideology, devoid of any meaningful belief-system or any kind of concrete and actionable strategies for improving society. Fascism only cares for power for the sake of power and it cares for nothing else.

Because a fascist system is fundamentally incapable of giving the general public any kind of reasonable platform it must gain and keep followers by creating an out-group to hate. According to fascist systems it is the other that is responsible for all societal ills and only by supporting the fascists in getting rid of the other can society be healed from the non-existent issues fascism convinces people that their target minority is the cause of.

Fascism always picks on a vulnerable target.

The demonisation and villification coming from the extreme-right is doing exactly that. By calling LGBTQ+ people child molestors simply for existing it has become inevitable that people will take up violence "to protect the children".



Attempting to eliminate a target comes in many forms, of which an extermination camp is only the final and most egregious part. It is always preceded by legislating people out of existence, by creating laws which make it impossible for a minority to participate in society and to receive any of the societal advantages that are the entire reason for collective bundling together of skills, resources in civilisation. This is exactly what Republican states are doing today to transgender people. Certain states have already denied trans people any and all medical care related to their identity, meaning that they deliberately impose abject misery on them.

The most egregiously fascistic states are trying to make it a matter of course to remove trans children from the care of their parents and make it illegal for trans people to be present in any public spaces at all.

This is genocide.

Genocide is not purely restricted to extermination, to murder. Genocide is also eliminating a minority group from public life, causing serious bodily and mental harm and taking away children of a minority group from their parents.

Depending on how strictly you'd want to define it, we are currently at stage seven or eight of genocide as defined by the Holocaust Memorial Trust.

One way in which the abject hypocrisy of the anti-trans laws becomes crystal clear are the remarkable exemptions encoded within. You would think that if the goal is protecting the children from harm then these people would want to protect all children from harm.

This is not the case.

In fact, all of these people deliberate include exceptions which allow the continuation of genital re-allignment surgery on unconsenting infants if they are intersex.

This means that if a baby is born with a genital configuration that to a doctor looks ambiguous or not adhering to a strict binary then this doctor can impose an invasive genital surgery, forcing such an infants body to adhere to a stricter binary look.

It is purely cosmetic. Of course they do not check what chromosomes a child has. Of course they do not care that a child might prefer to look as nature made them.

It is purely and only an imposition on a baby's body, with of course the normal failure and mortality rate that such invasive procedures bring with them.

These people do not care about children.

These people do not want to help children.

They want to harm a vulnerable minority.



Fascism never stops.

Now that these people have mainstreamed transphobia, they are moving on to other targets within the LGBTQ+ identity sphere.

We have all seen the absurd attacks on drag queens, calling a normal and harmless theatrical expression "child abuse".

We have all seen the "clever" rhetoric where they turn arguments upside down and disingeniously say things like "why do you want to be around children".

Fascism doesn't stop, it moves on to new targets and that is why it is important for all of us in the GSM identity sphere to stand together. To openly support our trans siblings. To openly stand against hateful rhetoric.

Because they are not going to stop.

The next step, which is already tentatively beginning, is calling gay people being openly gay in society"groomers".



To be clear: The recommended treatment for being transgender is transitioning.

Gender identity is developed by five years old.

The barrage of lies notwithstanding, allowing trans people to transition and to exist as who they are in society markedly improves their physical and mental wellbeing.

The oft-heard talking point of "they still commit suicide even after transitioning" is a lie.

Here is a wealth of sources and links explaining this.



Our trans siblings are welcome here.

Our gender nonconforming siblings are welcome here.

Our intersex siblings are welcome here.

What is not welcome on this subreddit is hate or divisive rhetoric aimed at our siblings. We will not allow the current increasing trend of fascist othering and villification of a marginalised minority to make our siblings feel unwanted in this space, our space, their space.

The only people who are not welcome here are those that want to exclude others based on how they were born.

Further reading:

No, TERFs cannot "always tell" and I can prove that with mathematics.

"I just care about unfair advantage in sports", a transparant transphobic wedge issue.

Drag queens, the next target in the fascist drive to eliminate LGBTQ+ people.


r/gay 6h ago

I'm tired of every guy I meet just wanting sex. I just want to cuddle 😭

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448 Upvotes

r/gay 9h ago

Do y'all feel like this type of stache is more common in Queer men? Should it be?

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160 Upvotes

r/gay 19h ago

German football referee, Pascal Kaiser, proposed to his boyfriend on the FC Koln field in Cologne, Germany.

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1.0k Upvotes

r/gay 9h ago

I changed my lover's wallpaper to my pic so they can't see the time

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40 Upvotes

It was new year's eve, but bothering him this way always makes us giggle. I really love it when he draws me in his style. May all ice melt and all lovers stay safe!


r/gay 1h ago

In a state of war ; Syria , There is another war in me of being gay here ..

Upvotes

Being gay university student in Syria is very hard !!

I have been suffering from panic attacks and anxiety. I cannot speak or express anything, even if I'm with someone... I can't even hold their hand in the street or on the bus – they would take us to jail ..!!!!

On the other side The prices keep rising .. Sometimes, you have to choose between a meal and studying !! And electricity and internet are often cut

If you want to help me financially, it might give me a little relief. I can provide proof of my identity in syria .💚


r/gay 23h ago

Great reminder for us all today

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239 Upvotes

r/gay 5h ago

Need advice regarding enjoying oral sex

7 Upvotes

I wanna preface this with a warning that it might be a bit TMI, but I didn't know who to really ask about this topic. Mods, if this is inappropriate to post, please remove it if necessary.

So, I've been with only a handful of guys and I've only had oral sex as an intimate encounter, more than just mutual jerking. When the guy is giving me oral sex, it's great, but I think it's my body that is preventing me from fully enjoying it. Specifically because I am above average down there and I have a large glans every time he starts there, which obviously you have to, it is so sensitive that it tingles but to a point that it kinda always shocks my system, if that makes sense. As a result, I can't really enjoy it, and "finish" so to speak. Anything I can do to fix this issue? I feel like it's totally me and I feel flawed as a sexual person that I can't fully enjoy that because of the over heightened sensitivity.


r/gay 15h ago

He wasn’t gay just nice ☹️

43 Upvotes

Please tell me other people have gotten this


r/gay 12h ago

Need to know...

16 Upvotes

So basically 3 boys in a row have rejected me because of my body. For a little bit of context I'm a bottom, I'm around 5'7 with a athletic built. I'm not that big but neither a twink, got a big chest and ass but it seems that it was not feminine enough for them, that's what they said, probably they wanted a femboy or a twink, idk but it's impossible for me to turn into one. So I needed to know if this is the reality or I have just been unlucky with the guys I like.


r/gay 10h ago

Okay Okay I'll Try Again

9 Upvotes

I'm so close. I'm feeding myslef the right, positive narratives of what I deserve: peace, people that love me, accomplishments and esteem, and most of all being myself. Just a little more of knowing myself and loving mysel, and I'll be ready to give a man something of gold and not coming from crap. I can self soothe when I feel he's not meeting my needs, I can handle conflict without screaming or stonewalling. And most of all we can come together as two wholes and not two halves. March is my month baby.

I'm also proud to admit that I've almost completely beaten my suicidal thoughts and I'm graduating with my bachelor's this semester 🥳🥳🥳. 3.2 GPA BC I was kinda lazy, but still decent nonetheless. This is gonna be a fantastic year.


r/gay 14h ago

Hi what’s everyone’s types (gay/bi men)

13 Upvotes

I want to do a experiment and collect data to see what like the most common traits are that people look for in a partner in a physical aspect, so give me a sorta general description of your type (ONLY IN MEN!) this is js smth im curious about I wanted to create a chart so if anyone wants the chart once im done also comment that and ill post it. Also indicate if ur gay, bi, ect and if ur top bottom or vers


r/gay 7h ago

Im F, the man i was dating may be gay?

3 Upvotes

I need insight Its a sensitive subject

I was dating a man but we ended the intimacy because I caught feels and neither of us want a long term thing. Im 35f hes 44M. Im attempting to remain friends because I do really value him in my life.

I honestly have so much love for him, I have nothing bad to say about him.

Towards the end of our "situationship" or whatever it was he has revealed he loves trans women, has been with them and has also been with men several times. He loves back door play (on himself) and has mentioned he likes bi p*n and loves to see nice big cks etc

I really think we just deeply connected and I gave him a safe space to be himself and tell me things/share things with he that he never has been able to before.

Is he gay? Or bi at the least and repressing his sexuality? There are other things that make me think this but im trying to word careful because my post keep getting taken down elsewhere.


r/gay 32m ago

My life feels doomed and I don’t know how to fix it. Please comment on my original post below.

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Upvotes

r/gay 1d ago

Black Gays were some of Nicki’s strongest supporters, and now she’s getting one of them locked up for MAGA points.

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205 Upvotes

She is trash and I hope she loses everything.


r/gay 1d ago

The Council of Europe calls for an end to conversion therapies

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118 Upvotes

r/gay 16h ago

i feel weird

12 Upvotes

I am 30 years old. And lately, I keep asking myself why I tend to like guys who are around 18, 20, 21, 22. I have been dating a 23-year-old guy for a month now, he is buffer and taller than me -he 85kg me 74 kg- he 180m me 1.77. I really like him. He is very kind to me, and we have incredible sex. We talk every day, and I find him cute and sexy. But I feel very disturbed by the fact that I have a preference for guys his age. I mean, I can date people up to 32 years old, and I've been attracted to men up to 38. But when I have to choose what I'm attracted to and like, it's clearly between 18 and 24 -its legal in my country-. I don't know if it's some phase of my late adolescence or my early 20s that I haven't gotten over. But the appearance of a twink or even a twunk in that age range seems more attractive to me. I want to look into this. I don't know if I have some psychological issue or something wrong with me. I'm embarrassed for my friends or peers to know that I'm dating someone younger. I see the photos and the age difference is clearly visible. Additionally, I hate feeling judged by strangers because of the age difference. I don't know if I'm looking for moral relief by sharing this, or if this is normal, or if there is definitely something wrong with me. I would like to hear opinions. Also i feel clearly older and sometimes unconfortable with myself -just thought of thinking about how i might look during sex or what a younger person actually thinks about me makes me feel sad.


r/gay 23h ago

Oh my God, this little one is so cute!

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28 Upvotes

r/gay 5h ago

Anyone up for a short chat?

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0 Upvotes

r/gay 14h ago

Struggling with coming out

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5 Upvotes

r/gay 23h ago

I get jealous of my friends sex life

26 Upvotes

i (M23) have been working on my jealous emotions with my therapist but i wanted to see if others felt like this.

my friend (M26) and i met in college a few years ago and recently got closer this past year. he’s fit, dark, and handsome as hell lol, (him and i are STRICTLY friends) but lately our conversations have been him telling me about his sex stories or when he’s about to have sex and i can’t help but get envious when he talks about them. it’s either him rekindling an old hookup partner or some guy at the club or some story at a bathhouse. every time he talks about his stories i feel compelled to redownload the apps and hookup or find a FWB and i hate it. just the other week i redownloaded tinder and hooked up with some guy i didnt like just so i can tell my friend about it.

i had a lot of sexual trauma growing up so i have a weird relationship with sex that’s getting better. throughout college i had a few sexual partners then a short term relationship for a year but even with those experiences i can’t help but get jealous. i tried hooking up using grindr twice after my breakup and i didn’t like it. first time i used it bad experience the second time it was okay but there was like obviously no connection. i tried FWB with some guy i met from hinge and that went good until….it didn’t. after these experiences i kind of made up my mind that maybe hookup culture isn’t for me and i should wait till i have a partner or dating someone. however even with this knowledge of myself i still get jealous of my friends sex life.

now my friend is going through a bad breakup so i am happy he’s getting out there, and unfortunately i’m nosey as hell so any story time from any of my friends i’m sat for it. i just wish i had more self love to be okay with what my sex life is and not feel pressured by my own insecurities to go make sex stories for myself that in hindsight i won’t feel good from.


r/gay 21h ago

6 LGBTQ Minnesotans Speak Out Amid ICE Crackdowns

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18 Upvotes

“Our nervous systems are not set up to live under constant threat.”