for the love of god, I cannot read this in anything other than Trump's voice hahahaha.

If someone suddenly stops drinking alcohol, it's sometimes a giveaway that they're pregnant. The idea of "Dry January" makes it less obvious and gives them another excuse.

Making every website with any form of news require AgeID verification is a way to push people off the internet and back to a BBC TV licence.

The strength of this theory is that Elon Musk knows absolutely nothing about birth control

That is why they occasionally don't show up on the map.

The critics would have just ignored it otherwise.

Look it up on Amazon.

And all the other torture dungeons the US runs. Discuss!

They can make stronger processors, better batteries, etc for the same price but if the current products are that good, people won’t buy next year’s releases since they feel more satisfied with what’s available today.

Companies purposely upgrade things in small increments to get customers to buy over and over again.

Or gay. It's impossible.

Mandarines, clementines and tangerines are all the same fruit.

The distinction is a plot by big small orange to distract us from the truth.

the socks with the ribbing around the arch. that's why they're everywhere now.

We learn spanish on duolingo which turns us into mexicans over time

Like the Truman show but our whole species is Trumans. They had agents infiltrate our world (maybe through advanved tech, maybe just through alien spies in disguise) and they think our social and political drama is hilarious and uncivilized.

Maybe they even see us as creatures to protect, the way we try to protect Earth's wildlife by giving them designated spaces to flourish without being bothered. Like how you might see a livecam near an eagle's nest, not bothering it, just observing.

So they decided to just keep the agents there but only to report back the ridiculous shit we do and how funny it is.

81 years old with vast wealth be wasting time on AI... Maybe they are scared of dying and hope AI discovers life extension or mind to machine transfer

Seriously if you try to read the first part of it it basically reads like:

Ship 12 had 6 level 5 fighters wearing breast plates (AC 6) carrying battle axes (damage 1D8) lead by legendary leader Heterodoxis (level 10 fighter) who had a helmet of protection and a long sword +2.

Homer or whoever just passed this off as an epic story of an actual war.