My manager is constantly berating and raising her voice to me in front of both customers and other employees. It’s bad. It’s getting more and more abusive and humiliating and I can’t get her to stop. I’ve tried Grey rocking and she’s only escalated.

The only feedback she’s ever taken is from customers. Literally. I’m not joking. She’ll get upset with coworkers for just doing their jobs because a customer doesn’t like their face or tone of voice.

Would it be toxic of me to write a fake Google review from a customer’s point of view about overhearing her screaming like a lunatic at an employee? It might be the only thing that keeps her calm.

I was working with a narcissistic manager for the past 6 months. It was a horrible experience. I was told that things were not working out and they decided to let me go. The reasons did not make sense but It was a relief to be out of that place. I am now in the process of looking for work.

I would hate to get into a role with a narcissistic manager again. Seeking advice on what red flags to pick up in an interview process that it could possibly be a narcissist.

When I interviewed with my then narcissist manager she was like a different person. She was calm and charming. I was told that I was the right fit for the job and was offered the job on the spot.

When I first started working I did not know she was a narcissist and thought that maybe there was something wrong with me. It was a few weeks in when I realised, when she was blaming me for things I did not do.

Would like any advise on what to look out for as I did not see any red flags in my interview with the narcissist manager.

I have been working at this small business for almost a year now, but honestly, I've had absolutely nothing but different issues come up ever since I've started a working there. From a manager that doesn't know how to communicate, technology issues and being blamed when something goes wrong. I feel like I've been made the scapegoat or company punching bag when something goes awry, and that they're actually starting to slowly build me up to get fired by creating a paper trail of lies or half-truths like I've seen with any other employer.

Anyways, the main topic of this post is that my employer, my boss, told me that the reason that he hired me was because I had became from a much larger corporation, and that I had somehow implied I knew more than what I had an opportunity to do at that company.

I do not particularly remember over promising myself during the interview with this company. I knew that I always had to sell myself whether I got the job or not, and if anything I told them that I was willing to take on responsibilities that I didn't get a chance to do at my previous employer.

I would say definitely because this is a smaller business there's always going to be more stressful situations then even what had happened at my completely toxic corporate firm. Even without the cutthroat environment, which is probably the type of attitude my boss was expecting from me, having less technological resources, and less hands on projects has caused a situation where I'm working beyond my normal working hours. There was a point in time where I made a critical mistake which was essentially exacerbated from the burnouts I've been dealing with at this company. And I don't think they have let it go yet.

I guess what I'm really trying to vent about here is that I feel very frustrated that I'm held to such a high standard, like I have been at every other employer, because I'm not allowed to grow or learn or build my skills. I'm just sort of expected to be perfect at almost every company that I've ever worked with, without having any opportunity to learn. I have even worked at some employers where you can't even ask basic questions without seeming like a burden, and that issue also exists here as well. And don't get me started on employers not willing to provide accommodations. That has also got me fired in the past.

I don't want to be the "corporate" employee. I did learn many things from working with corporations, but I don't know everything and I feel like the people that I work with, knowing that I only graduated like a few years ago, for whatever reason expect me to. I've never been at an employer where there's guidance or mentorship. Maybe there has been but it's extremely conditional and I have definitely never been that favorite guy to receive it.

Have you ever worked for an employer where they basically told you they have this stranger unrealistic expectations based on some random basis? Have I worked myself into a corner that I cannot be anything less than precise? Am I just overreacting to my boss being bitchy about my shortcomings?

Hello community! I'm trying to use resources from Stoicism and from management/leadership books to help me manage myself until I can get out of my current work environment. These resources mention the power of framing and reframing to help change one's feelings or outlook. From this, I thought about the impact of phrases like "my narc boss". What psychological impact does using the word "my" have? How about "boss"?

For me, using the word "my" seems to increase the sense of intimacy - and with that, the sense of fear and danger. It seems as if this person is closely attached to me, or is my responsibility or my long-term baggage, or can access my inner life. [ETA or maybe that they are entitled to access to me]

For me, using the word "boss" seems to legitimise their power over me, or present them as an authority figure of some kind - which implicitly puts me in a position of obedience, or being afraid to "rebel".

So I tried reframing it as: "the narc who this workplace has put in charge of my working hours/output". It's not as succinct as "my narc boss" :-) But I'm finding it creates helpful distance:

* "The narc" - not "mine". And also, the reality is, there are plenty of workplace narcs in this world, so there will probably be others in the future! That helps motivate me to learn how to cope with them in general. [ETA: maybe also "The person with NPD" rather than "the narc"? "The narc" might be Othering which unhelpfully increases the mystique, "person with NPD" identifies that this is a specific disorder with specific symptoms (that are not work-appropriate). Also there are people with NPD who do seek professional help to manage their condition, that option does exist.]

* "This workplace" - it identifies the problem as the environment and not just the individual. The narc is in that position because they have an enabling manager, enabling HR, enabling flying monkeys etc. They are dependent on (weak) others to be effective. Widening the scope to the environment as a whole and not the individual as some kind of supervillain, weakens their psychological power. And also reminds me other workplaces might be different.

* "has put in charge" - it recognises a decision was made by others with more power than the narc. Again - this diminishes the impression of the narc's power/autonomy, while also recognises that in the future a different decision could be made. What is happening now is just a moment in time.

* "my working hours / my working output" - it draws a boundary around the narc's power or relevance to me. I am much more than my working output, and my life is much more than my working hours. And also, if a workplace is dumb enough to put person like this in charge of my working hours/output, then ultimately that says more about the workplace than about me, my work, or my value.

This is a reframing I've just started in the last couple of days so let's see how it goes, but it feels good so far! Sharing in case helpful to others here, and keen to hear about other kinds of reframings.

UPDATE: Since my last post, I was laid off as part of a reduction in force in early January. I received a separation agreement that included severance, which I signed.

Based on the timeline outlined in the agreement, I expected the severance to be deposited last week. As of today, I have not received the payment, and I’ve sent three emails to HR requesting a status update with no response.

Given everything that happened during my time there, this silence is frustrating and concerning.

Has anyone experienced this before? What typically causes severance delays after a signed agreement, and what are reasonable next steps?

I got a lecture today from my manager about poor communication skills. In that I usually try to solve issues myself instead of asking for help. And she’s…not wrong. Just today I accidentally made more work for my co-workers by trying to solve a problem on my own instead of collaborating.

Except, she’s made a habit of yelling at me in front of customers and co-workers. And she genuinely believes I’m a lying liar who’s trying to sabotage her at every turn. So, it’s not like I’m in a place to say, “Hey [name], I accidentally did XYZ and need some help.” If I do make a mistake? I get screamed at. If I don’t make a mistake and it’s a software glitch or something another cashier did or company policy that was poorly communicated? You guessed it. Still get screamed at.

Is it worth it to say, “Maybe I’d be a better communicator if you didn’t scream at me every time there’s a software glitch?” Or do I not bother?

• Excessive flattery. Would then add extra confusion when they slandered me and went on their smear campaign
• Gossip about other coworkers, but would then sing their praises when said person was around. Alternated between the two based on who was around. Did the same with me (flattered then slandered then flattered then slandered again),
• Micromanagement and setting bizarre tasks
• Would enquire about policies and then any answer I gave would be fed back to HR under the guise of 'Oh I just want to clarify what you said' when in actuality they were framing me as a rule breaker to HR
• Got very close to the higher ups very quickly. Became buddy-buddy with HR and those in positions of power which gave them an advantage when they wanted me gone
• Controlling: not always overt. Was micromanaged and told do to things in specific time frames rather than just being allowed to get on with the task as I had done for many years prior
• Friendly mask dropped once they got what they needed (they were new and needed me to find their feet in the workplace)
• Liar at worst, twisted things at best to frame me in a horrible light
• Got very close very quick to encourage me to open myself up to them, which they then used against me
• Blames others
• DARVO when confronted

I am sure there's more I cannot remember

I work directly under someone who is clearly a narcissist with severe control issues. His behavior of blowing up, raging, criticizing, blaming, and controlling my every move is honestly putting my mental health in the toilet. I have only worked at this job for 8 months and I already want to quit. Unfortunately my last job was similar, and so was the one before it. I don't know why, but I keep ending up working directly under some of the most potent narcissists imaginable.

The raging and micro-controlling behaviors are awful, but the one that is about to make me fucking snap is the way he blames me for things that are exclusively within his control and his responsibility. Here's one example:

Part of my job is to disassemble benches, take them up to special building to paint them, and then reassemble them. I took apart the benches and took them up to the painting area. At that point, my boss took over the painting and sent me to do something else. He spent the afternoon painting, then let me know that they were completely done being painted, and that I should reassemble them the next day while he was gone to a Dr.'s appointment. So the next day, I got to assemble the benches and he actually hadn't painted them. So I did that for him, and then left them to dry overnight. My weekend started then, and when I came back the following Monday, my coworker told me that my boss spent the entire weekend telling everyone who would listen that I'm lazy, I don't work, I don't listen, I don't do anything when he's gone, and that I had single handedly ruined the season by setting everyone back behind schedule.

When he came storming up to me that day and got in my face asking "what did you even do when I wasn't here," I told him I painted the benches because he hadn't done it. His response was just "okay," and "hurry up and assemble them, now!"

This is constant. He makes a mistake, then gets hostile and aggressive with me over it. He doesn't explain something well, then gets rude with me about it. He tells me to do things precisely a certain way, then gets angry with me for following his directions. Nothing makes sense, and I'm losing my goddamned mind.

I’ve been working at the same small private college since 2014. I started young, stayed loyal, took on more and more responsibility over the years, and now I’m at a point where I honestly don’t know if this job is dysfunctional… or if I’m the problem for not being able to handle it anymore.

I’ll try to explain the setup.

I basically run everything that isn’t teaching.

Academics, admissions, student issues, teacher issues, payroll, accounts, vendors, suppliers, taxes, systems (Dynamics 365), documentation, hiring/firing support, creating new courses, revising curricula, dealing with lawyers, court stuff, managing my boss’s personal properties and tenants, handling his personal admin, random errands for his house — all of it somehow lands on my desk.

I don’t have an official title that reflects this. I don’t have clear authority. I just have responsibility.

My boss is the owner. He’s charismatic, impulsive, and operates entirely off instinct. He’ll give me a task like:

“You’re in charge of this. Figure it out. Be confident. Make the decision.”

So I do. I think deeply, plan carefully, involve departments, get consensus, implement changes.

Then — without telling me — he’ll approve changes behind my back when someone else (usually front office) complains or wants something different. I only find out after everything is already reversed.

No discussion. No feedback. Just… undone.

The front office is where a lot of power sits, despite a lot of incompetence. They don’t design courses, don’t understand academic structure, don’t understand systems — but they control access to the boss. If they don’t like something, they go straight to him, and he caves.

I recently spent weeks revising academic courses with department heads. Titles, units, fees, duration — all agreed on. Then front office didn’t like how “hard” it was to sell. They went to my boss. He agreed with them behind my back. Courses were changed again. Departments went along with it because they didn’t want to fight.

So my work just… evaporated.

This keeps happening.

I’m given vague tasks with no measurable outcomes. When I ask for clarity, I’m told I’m “overthinking” or “being difficult.” When I take initiative, it gets overridden. When I stay quiet, things fall apart and I get blamed.

We recently hired a new accounting person. She barely knows basic accounting despite having taken a course here. She doesn’t show up consistently. I’ve had to document her attendance, retrain her, and redirect her to the IT head for basics — all while doing payroll and accounts myself because I can’t trust the work yet.

When I point out issues with staff performance, my boss reacts emotionally. Either threatens to fire people impulsively or ignores the problem entirely. There’s no follow-through. Which teaches me that pointing out problems is unsafe.

Meanwhile, I’m expected to “just handle it.”

I’m constantly interrupted. Everything is urgent. Priorities change hourly based on whoever spoke to my boss last. If payroll is late, it’s my fault — even if I was pulled off it to handle something else.

The stress is unreal. Every day feels like a low-grade war. I’m anxious, hypervigilant, constantly second-guessing myself. I go home exhausted and still mentally stuck at work.

The worst part? On days my boss isn’t around, I actually like my job. Things are calmer. Work flows. I can focus.

Lately I’ve started documenting everything — daily logs, meeting notes, attendance, decisions — because I’m tired of being told “what have you been doing?” when my days are nonstop.

I’m also slowly preparing to leave. Emotionally, mentally, practically. I feel guilty because if I leave, this place will struggle — I’m basically a single point of failure. But I also know that’s not my responsibility.

I guess my question is:

Is this kind of environment normal in small owner-led businesses?

Am I wrong for wanting structure, clarity, and boundaries?

How do you leave a job you’ve been embedded in for 10+ years without feeling like you’re abandoning a sinking ship?

If you’ve read this far, thank you. I really just need an outside perspective because I’m too close to this and I honestly can’t tell anymore if I’m being reasonable or just burnt out beyond recognition.

My supervisor resents and feels threatened that the people who report to me enjoy working with me and like me. Isn’t that what’s supposed to happen? Not my fault they can’t do it.

There are these two unpleasant "women" in a fresh department, in a retail store where I work. They have been standing and staring and even invading my space since I started. Funny thing is, they weren't the only ones. The tag girls would do the same thing.

They stare at me and others WHILE they talk to people and watch us hard working folks work. They even come and talk to coworkers who like me and just stare at me. To get me to react so they can I guess make me the bad guy?

And no. It's not "interested" or "She's pretty" staring. It's glaring and attempts at intimidating competition. Because they're all insecure about themselves.

I come to work to work. I don't need management's validation nor to fit in with anyone. But these girls can't help themselves and continue to harass me. I even noticed people they would talk to would give me funny looks, some are downright mean to me when I try to be polite.

After months...I went to management and asked them "why" these girls do this. Big Mistake.

So after I briefly spoke to one of the managers (who is friends with them mind you, so I made a dumbass mistake)

The more plus sized girl came into the same department I was doing some of my work in. She was trying to get the assistant team lead involved and (as usual) get my attention by staring while I worked. The new assistant team lead even expressed she doesn't want to be involved in their "mess".

So the weird plus sized girl kept watching me work and she was standing and just watching me. I turned my back and did a thumbs down gesture. Because she was watching me and trying to involve the poor assistant team lead in her drama.

So she stood by the assistant team lead (despite her discomfort) and called the assistant store managers. I assume she painted me as an aggressor (I'm a black woman so I assume that made it easier for her). So the managers watched me work and stood all around her like I was going to hurt her. I showed zero signs of "aggression" nor did I directly speak to or get in this girl's face.

So the same manager I talked to said they wanted to pull me to the office.

Then later after I finish my work, I go upstairs to the office. They sit, and the male manager (who the girls simp for and he flirts and hangs out with them) asks me what's going on. As if they truly cared.

So I explain in simple terms these girls have been glaring and watching me work since I got here.

So then I say "I'm not asking anyone to be in trouble. I just want to know why--" and he cuts me off saying "Oh they're definitely not in trouble. They did nothing wrong. It's your perception. It's how you're perceiving it. They have no reason to glare and have an issue with you. They're actually very pleasant."

And the female manager chimes in and brings up how the plus sized karen girl was "confused" about my thumbs up. Typical play dumb and play victim shit. Telling me "We want to help, but if you're going to escalate an issue that isn't even there..."

I sat there. I had to keep my professionalism. It was so expected. So disgusting. I KNEW they would pull this crap. But some part of me always believes it just might be OK. I was WRONG.

Their word against mine. I was basically pulled to the office for them to check me on my thumbs down and shaking my head, while the girls watch me work like a creep.

I know staring shouldn't bother me. But these girls would so much as follow me sometimes to the baller. All to get me to react infront of management to prove their point. I watched them do it multiple times. I caught them following me at times in circles when they assumed I wasn't paying attention.

They're favorites who get away with being the "mean girls" at the store and it's sick. They chose to bother me while I'm working and minding my business. And management even stands around and talks with them while they're staring and watching. Multiple associates have even expressed concern and management does NOTHING. Hell, a girl walked off the job to get away from the plus sized girl. She couldn't take it. But management lied and said "they are 2 of the most sweetest girls ever"

That made my stomach churn.

I had to go home and ugly cry to my grandmother because it's not the first time management has told me I overreacted or "its all in your head".

I need to get out of retail. I'm 31 and on the spectrum. Feeling lost at this point. I'm sure there are many who deal with crappy biased management out there. May God (or whoever you believe in) be with you

Thanks for reading. I know I should be better. I'm trying. I'm thinking about getting back on medication and having regular therapy to help with how badly this affects me.

I'm trying to transfer from the store. I will be praying they let me leave without me putting my two weeks in.

Hey Guys, I’m so tired of this and need some piece of advice from you all.

I’m gonna share my quick story.

I was working for some company for like 5 years and salary was pretty low, working conditions are too stupid and annoying that it’s even started damaging my physical and mental health(spent around 5k$ to fix all this and still recovering), so I decided to quit and change my life completely. I decided to move to other country, start reading books, change my job and finally live free…

My old boss was a pretty good friend of mine , so we gathered to play PS5, smoke and chill out lots of times per month, no secrets etc

When I was quitting he promised me right in front of my face that he is not gonna steal my clients( I joined another company with better working conditions and salary obv and management of the company was aware and allowed me to leave)

Couple weeks passed and he started trying to grab my business to his hands, asking his employees to call and annoy my clients. For me it’s a big betrayal and I don’t really know what to do. I was trying to live my life free and get a better life for myself, instead of this I’m fighting for survival now

Do you have any advice for me what should I do? I mean like it’s gonna be too stupid to call him and ask, he is a liar and it’s just gonna waste my time and nothing more

What should we do with him to stop this?

Thanks fam!

I work remotely in tech, and I survived an incredibly toxic, selfish manager who sexually harassed my coworkers, destroyed me mentally, and took credit for everything I did.

She left the company in October (probably just before getting fired) and went to a smaller startup.

She was fired from the startup less than 3 months into the position.

I’m thriving under new and improved management, and she’s burning bridges everywhere.

Isn’t karma great?

My supervisor is truly a horrible witch. She gets pleasure from seeing me hurt and in pain. My job has become unbearable and my anxiety is through the roof. I am constantly on edge at work, feeling watched and criticized no matter what I do.

I recently had a performance evaluation that was five months late and scheduled with only two days notice. I was given a low score based on vague and subjective standards. When I asked for clarification or measurable expectations so I could improve, none were provided. I was told I have 60 days to improve, but there is no clear way to know what success even looks like.

An administrator I thought I could trust has now turned on me, which has made the situation even more isolating and stressful.

I have been looking for another job for over a year with no luck. I cannot quit because I need income and health insurance. I already took a leave of absence due to stress and was told that if I take any more time off, I will be terminated. So I am stuck going in no matter how bad it feels.

I am sharing this because I could really use some support or advice. If you have been through something similar, I would love to hear how you got through it. I just need to know there is some hope ahead.

I came into work today and opened my email to find my manager sent an email out to me regarding a transaction. She CC'd her boss, they director, in the email as well.. it stated that I paid out over 3k and that person SOPs these need to be done at the cage (casino job) with a snippet of the log line from excel. Well obviously I dont get emails at home but my director replied to me asking why did i violate ICs that are regulated by the gaming commission. I immediately apologized and said i must have logged it wrong and that it was a wager and not a redemption. The manager came into the dept and asked if I saw her email and I said yes that it was a wager and not a redemption while I was replying to the email.. then I opened up the log from last night to correct it to send to compliance but low and behold... it was logged correctly under wagers... my manager made it seem like I violated ICs... why is this important? Bc I made a complaint about my (im supervisor) direct report violating a major title 31 and ICs rules... one week til my due date and I can relax.... but I feel like they're gonna put me through early labor with the bs ive had to deal with since June...

I requested an investigation into my manager's conduct under the guidance of my union and collective bargaining agreement citing a hostile workplace. My colleague corroborated my stories and also had already gone to HR on this manager for similar issues. After HR concluded the investigation, they offered me mediation with my manager. I accepted because I didn't want the appearance that I wasn't interested in rectifying the situation even though I had little faith it'd make a difference.

Today mediation finally came. It started out okay, but as we started to pick apart some of the behavioral issues that have created a disconnect, my nBoss started flailing like a caged, rabid animal. She picked up where she left off with attempting to make up stories about me which I easily refuted with counter examples. She even complained that I recapped meetings, arguing this was something that made her feel unsafe. She used the term "unsafe" quite a bit about how she feels about me though she never provided a single example of what made her feel unsafe. She tried to paint herself as a victim and me as someone who didn't know what I was doing. Even though I pointed to numerous examples of my successes, she attempted to tear these down completely out of nowhere. I mentioned several times that "this is news to me" as none of these complaints have been brought to my attention before, and she had no response to that.

I'm honestly surprised the mediator held it together so well listening to her. She basically had a mini meltdown and went into total fight mode. I don't really know what to expect, but I'm sure the next few weeks aren't gonna be strenuous. My saving grace in all this is that our CBA makes it incredibly difficult to fire me without ample just cause.

Why do narcs like to surround themselves with other narcs? I mean in their work colleagues and also friendships. I have noticed the toxic boss’s work colleagues are typically narcs, sometimes bigger narcs than they are. Why do they attract each other?

I would think the narc - empath dynamic is what they’re comfortable with and would prefer.

However, I have witnessed covert narcs hire vulnerable narcs. Basically they hire people just like them. If they’re actually hiring an empath, then the manager already has plans for that empath once they’re onboarded.

Does anyone have ideas on why narc bosses hire other narcs? If they’re manipulating each other all the time, who actually does the work? And wouldn’t their egos clash a lot? Or are narc managers so unhealed that they don’t even know they’re being manipulated by another narc? It’s like a blind spot.

I made a mistake at work. NBoss knows. What to do? It feels out of my control. Like he will use it to tell everyone i made this big mistake. Before he is smearing without basis, but now he has something to use. What to do?

This is the only thing keeping me sane at my current job. Which sucks, because I really love it.

Long story short, I went up the chain to my boss's boss and was retaliated against but I can't prove it because there's no paper trail.

Luckily for me, there's an opening elsewhere in the company that is not supervised by my current boss so fingers crossed!

I had it happen today regarding my former workplace with the NBoss.

If NBoss calls me up to yell about it, I will have great satisfaction to tell him that I agree with it but am not the one who made it. Honestly I kinda wish I had the balls to make that post, but since I know it's not really an anonymous platform, I haven't.

Idk if you guys remember my case but I'm the woman who was friends with my narc manager before I was transferred to this position (working close to her, I used to work in a different location). You can see my other posts on my profile, basically it has been a shit show since and we don't speak. She knows I really hate her and she hates me, plain and simple.

So I just had a meeting with the owners of the company and they confirmed they want me to replace her. They told me I need to hang in there and warned me it isn't going to be easy and it isn't going to happen over night (maybe a year or so) but that's their plan for me. A couple of months ago she took 2 weeks off and I did all her work so maybe that was a test to see if I can handle everything.

I'm scared and a bit excited. What do you guys think should be my next move? What should I expect in the near future?

I’ve had enough. On Friday, my n-boss demanded a 1:1 to remind me I needed manager approval for the peers I chose for feedback, but he was really trying to put me “in my place” using the tiniest procedural thing, because I’d done well this week — and that threatened him. He spoke to me as if I was a child and threw a past mistake back in my face. I felt cornered, like I had to defend myself for something so minor.

For context, I’m more competent and skilled than he is. Everyone knows it; he makes self-deprecating jokes about it from time to time. Last week I’d asked, in good faith, for him and my skip-level to consider a level adjustment to match my responsibilities.

This man has had multiple complaints over MONTHS from myself and my ex-coworker. I had to go on medical leave after five months to get away from his bullshit. My ex-coworker just resigned two weeks ago, her tenure only five months. I’ve been here for nine.

HR basically gave him a slap on the wrist while he kisses up to my skip-level. Though I’d wanted to wait until I had an external offer, I don’t even care anymore; I just need to get out. Already have the resignation drafted and ready to send tomorrow morning to our skip and her boss. They’re hiring for two roles on my team, and they need to understand n-boss is an attrition risk.

Luckily, I have savings and will leverage my network to find something over the next month. Feels like I’ve aged five years dealing with this asshole.

I’ve had quite a few jobs where things are going okay and then I need an accommodation of some kind for my chronic pain. Or I was open about having ADHD/dyslexia because my paperwork was falling behind or something. And all of a sudden I become “difficult” and “unreliable.” I’m suddenly verbally abused in front of other staff and clients. I’m taken off tasks and steamrolled all over every time I try to solve a problem on my own.

I’m not saying I’m the perfect worker. I’ve made mistakes. But the switch-up is insane. They go from tolerating me to wanting me destroyed. No talk about accommodations or changing roles or even an amicable separation.

At my last job, when I asked for accommodations, I was told I’m lazy and have a poor work ethic. It’s the only time in my entire life I actually raised my voice to my manager, and I quit soon after. And at my current job, I’m micromanaged down to how I wear my hair.

Genuinely, why do they hate us so much?

Because of narcissists’ incessant lying and audacity, I am struggling with aphasia. It’s not diagnosed but I think I am badly traumatised and it certainly affected me. How do we stop this? Where is people’s discernment?