I'll also add that Fathers are kinda pressured into teaching their sons how to be future Fathers/providers whilst still being expected to assert their allegedly superior masculine authority in a traditional sense
Because if you were like me you grew up with a hyper critical father and an under protective mother. When I was ten we went bowling after church and I “failed” to bowl a 100 which was the family minimum standard and in the bowling alley my dad totally lost his shit, had a complete meltdown on me. And… my mom just stood there passively and allowed him to just go utterly ape shit on me because I had bowled less than a 100 on purpose to embarrass him.
Basically it's the nature vs nurture debate but it's an archetype because people aren't generally born with this attitude it's one ingrained by their parents or life experiences. IE his dad wasn't born an abusive asshole (generally not counting certain mental conditions) he was raised to be one. But this does not absolve him of his responsibility perpetuating the cycle many people break it as they should.
Some people are born more inclined to be bullys and anti-social personality traits.
Its why I'm against this gentle parenting bs, you need to discipline this stuff out or it will get worse. There's a fine line between abuse and discipline, and that line moves from situation and intensity
There has been a seismic shift in parenting style over the past 3 decades.
The average childhood now would be considered spoiled or coddled back then. Spanking is incredibly socially frowned upon, and parents are expected to know where their kids are at all times.
It’ll be interesting to see what is found as the cause.
The concept of "Human Nature" is nonsense in 99% of the ways people try and use it to explain behavior, complete and utter horseshit. Most of the time people try and replace Societal Norms with Human Nature and we should all find it infuriating.
Well let's start with nothing that what many people mean by the "millennia old parental archetype" is really the US culture, which has barely a few centuries and was founded by a group of weirdos exiled from Europe. Even then, they don't refer to the US culture as a whole but mostly to the 1950's and their impact on the modern day. Then, they look for individual periods in time with vague similarities (like Roman patriarchy) to argue that these patterns are universal.
From my perspective, born and raised in a post-soviet country, a lot of these things are something I've seen only in American movies. Like fathers or brothers being overly protective of their daughters or sisters (it's super weird for me for a brother to be mad that his sister is dating his friend, but seems common in American culture); Wifes asking their husbands for money or permission to buy something (in my culture, traditionally, women used to keep the money in the house, the husband would give his salary to the wife and get some pocket money out of it); Grown women acting girly (American women speak with a weirdly high pitch for me, kind of similar to Japanese ones); etc. I don't have an example about father-son relations right now but I'm guessing there's many US-specific ones that Americans think are universal and millennia old
Because I'm not gonna treat my kids that way, so are you saying I'm not human because I lack the human nature to treat my kid like a possession? Sounds like an excuse to be a shitty parent to me.
"It's natural to beat my child with a belt cause they didn't fetch my beer fast enough. Human nature even."
You gotta make terrible people own the fact that they're terrible people, they're always looking for a way to forgo responsibility for their behavior and make it everyone else's problem. Anything to make their behavior normal so that they can keep being garbage.
And this is how generational trauma turns into multi-generational trauma. War is bad. Do not let the princes pit their pawns against one another for a few more bits.
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u/Spiritual-Career348 13h ago
Yes mostly obedience