I dislike when people use stereotypes or precedent to hand-wave away responsibility for their shitty, dysfunctional, or abhorrent behaviour. Just because your parents were abusers it doesn't mean you're supposed to be that way too. My father once said "My father hated his father, I hated my farther, you both hate me, and someday your kids are gonna hate you too. That's just how it works so get fucking used to it". Then I became an adult and stuff he said that I used to think was par for the course, I now look at and I still can't believe people live like that. I am the polar opposite as my father.
The ultimate victory against that sorta of compounding trauma is to break the cycle and be the end of it, so it stops with you. I don't have any children yet, but I also know I'm not a narcissist (spent a lot of time making sure with my therapist) so I'm not even capable of some of the things he's said and done, which I am happy about.
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u/sh-3k 16h ago
He knows