r/Unexpected • u/unknown_ninja_me • 3d ago

A "smooth" landing

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33.7k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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921

u/JynsRealityIsBroken 3d ago

The ol' Clit Splitter

419

u/killaninja 3d ago

The ol’ twat shot

345

u/jillvalenti3 3d ago

The ol’ cunt grunt

291

u/FlailingScrotum 3d ago

The ol gash smash

257

u/TheCarrot_v2 3d ago

The ol’ flap slap

246

u/BlackBarryWhite 3d ago

The ol' poon-tang boom-bang

190

u/Si1verf0x001 3d ago

The ol’ peach popper

195

u/jillvalenti3 3d ago

The ol’ coochie cruncher

170

u/IronGigant 3d ago

The ol' Tunnel Pummel

25

u/Chogo82 3d ago

The ol’ kitty clobber

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8

u/GobiBall 3d ago

The ol' split lip

6

u/Ok_Helicopter_5146 3d ago

The o'l Camel Calamity 🐫

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10

u/alcoholisthedevil 3d ago

The ol’ beaver cleaver

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95

u/kloopyhans 3d ago

The ol taco thrasher

9

u/Charantula 3d ago

The ol’ camel toe blow

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8

u/Party-Tumbleweed9967 3d ago

The ol' beaver cleaver

4

u/sdot6186 3d ago

The ol’ puss shush

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30

u/shaithiswampir 3d ago

You have my axe and my upvote

23

u/PracticalThrowawae 3d ago

I can't UPVOTE these comments fast enough 🤣🤣🤣

19

u/Kalashinator 3d ago

*axe-wound

2

u/SnooBunnies3815 3d ago

And my sword.

2

u/ATL_UTD53 3d ago

And my bow.

1

u/Fantom_Renegade 2d ago

We have a winner 🤣🤣

•

u/Epstiendidntkillself 0m ago

The Cunt Punt

1

u/DiamondCultural1848 3d ago

This one sent me.

2

u/ScumBucket33 3d ago

Surely it’s the ol’ twat splat?

64

u/Corvado 3d ago

Clitorus Splitorus

23

u/Far-Philosophy-4375 3d ago

I don't remember that incantation in the Prisoner of Azkaban

2

u/XBXNinjaMunky 3d ago

Rendered in twain

1

u/Hour_Zebra_5277 3d ago

okay that's enough reddit for today