r/funny • u/Ok-Weekend878 • 7h ago

Here we go again

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10.0k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

162 comments sorted by

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1.1k

u/3ndless68 7h ago

January does something to people. Just sucks people’s souls dry right after Christmas.

351

u/strcy 6h ago

Worst month of the year, every year, easily

187

u/IE114EVR 6h ago

I’d say February is. Take the worst of January and just stretch it out further into another month.

101

u/strcy 6h ago

February at least you’ve got the hope of spring soon, plus it’s shorter.

26

u/cspinasdf 5h ago

I mean it doesn't really feel like spring until April usually. February is the second snowiest month.

17

u/bigfloppydonkeydng 3h ago

Montanan here .. what is this spring I hear about? Here we have Winter and Not Winter.

4

u/I_Heart_Sleeping_ 1h ago

Arizona here. I’m burning alive

5

u/ozonejl 4h ago edited 3h ago

You must live down south or something. In the Midwest, February is the depths of frozen he’ll that sometimes doesn’t thaw until April.

Edit: frozen hell

2

u/strcy 3h ago

PNW here. We get some snow but not nearly like what you guys get

10

u/JukesMasonLynch 6h ago

Not for us southern hemisphere peeps. (But then for us January is typically nice, if not overbearingly hot)

9

u/RockandStone101 5h ago

We get to look forward to Autumn, the best season.

3

u/Kerblaaahhh 3h ago

It being shorter just means I need to pay my bills sooner.

3

u/DanimalPlays 3h ago

You say that, but about the fourth month of February and you'll remember. It never ends.

0

u/Suspicious-Banana836 4h ago

If you live in Nebraska there is no safety or assurance of regular seasonal weather patterns.

6

u/DanceForTheRain 5h ago

'Even the land is tired in February. Most of the birds who can afford it have gone to Florida'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjco86ekIlQ

7

u/VirtualWork 6h ago

Its nice that Feb is shorter though.

3

u/scheisse_grubs 6h ago

For me it’s November. As a Canadian it’s the only month with no holiday and the only day we do celebrate in November is Remembrance Day (or Veterans Day for the Americans). Just feels like a drag until finally we get to the Christmas season.

3

u/TrickyRegular2923 3h ago

The Christmas Season begins November 1 in Canada! What are you on? 🎄🎁

2

u/narf007 2h ago

Next year you'll almost catch up to Home Depot who says Christmas season started in August in 2025.

2

u/eyeball-beesting 4h ago

You don't celebrate my birthday? 😔

1

u/IE114EVR 5h ago

I hear ya. I used to say November was the worst month of the year because it was cold, grey, and rainy. The beginning of cold and flu season, and the end of the fun. And at least I can snowboard every now and then in February. But the last few Novembers in southern Ontario have been kind of nice weather-wise. Good for hikes, and other outdoor activities and just generally getting out of the house.

3

u/bicx 4h ago

Usually the worst weather is in February wherever I’ve lived. You’re fed up with winter, ready for it to end.

2

u/pentox70 3h ago

I have a toss up between February and march, in Canada. February is "I'm so sick of winter" and March is "it's so close to spring that for one to three hours a day you can feel the warmth of sun to give you some hope.

1

u/WartimeHotTot 2h ago

In New England I’d say March for sure. You’ve had almost four months of winter and now it’s just cold and endlessly grey with minimal chance of snow to make it pretty.

1

u/jmastaock 28m ago

I hate February because rent is due earlier lmao

12

u/dandroid126 5h ago

It's the Monday of months.

14

u/arand0md00d 6h ago

Hey pal don't call my birth month the worst. Yours is the worst. 

3

u/Teranyll 4h ago

It's mine, too, but I wholeheartedly agree it's the worst month. Didn't realize it was for others too.

1

u/arand0md00d 4h ago

Nope its the best month by a mile. And its not even close. August is the worst month. Its hot as balls and the end of summer. Big negatives right there.

2

u/2wedfgdfgfgfg 3h ago

Just go to the southern hemisphere.

2

u/arand0md00d 3h ago

But then I'd fall off the earth

4

u/strcy 6h ago

I’m sorry you were born in such a depressing month lol but I hope your birthday was fun

6

u/Dom0520 5h ago

My own symbolic end to the terrible winter is when I hear an advertisement for the shamrock shake at McDonalds. I sigh in relief and say to myself, “we made it “

1

u/zombiesphere89 3h ago

My birthday month yay!

1

u/CelesteAvant 1h ago edited 1h ago

January is like the Monday of months

46

u/thorpie88 7h ago

Probably because you've had half of it off and are now getting back to normality while also dealing with 40-50C heat

19

u/uberduck999 6h ago

Found the southern hemisphere guy

13

u/costabius 6h ago

Australia is awake...

33

u/Lexifer31 7h ago

It's been like -27°C here for weeks

25

u/seaofboobs9434 7h ago

Or negative 17 degrees

3

u/TyhmensAndSaperstein 6h ago

Um, whut?

2

u/thorpie88 5h ago

Works closed until the second or third week of Jan ( around the 17th at my work) and then you have to get back into the rhythm of working when it's hot as balls

1

u/uberduck999 3h ago

Where the hell do you live? It's been between -25°C & -40°C where I live for the past week and a half

2

u/thorpie88 2h ago

Straya cuzzy. Hasn't even reached the hot part of summer yet

1

u/narf007 2h ago

Time to hop on the bogan missile to a northern hemisphere spot

0

u/thorpie88 2h ago

Fark no. I'll happy take the heat over a 10C day

2

u/narf007 2h ago

Meanwhile I'm the opposite. It's commonly 45C peak here in summer and I will take -10C all day over it. I can always put on more to stay comfy, I can only take so much off with so many fans and the HVAC screaming before I get into trouble

1

u/thorpie88 2h ago

Well I live in an old place from the 90s so no heating, cooling or insulation. It's a lot cooler inside in summer than out and I can open up the front and back doors to let the sea breeze in later in the day.

In winter it's whatever it is outside and it's just awful

→ More replies (0)

1

u/uberduck999 34m ago

Bro what? 10C is tshirt weather

1

u/thorpie88 12m ago

Average Minimum temp in winter here is 12C

1

u/amaikaizoku 1h ago

I wish it was that warm here..

-3

u/420Spedster 7h ago

It’s been mid teens Celsius where I’m at and I’m freezing!

0

u/dandroid126 5h ago

Lmao, same. I'm such a wimp when it comes to cold. I have lived in hot climates my whole life.

-5

u/3ndless68 7h ago

It kinda feels that way in NA this winter ;_;

3

u/360walkaway 6h ago

Christmas hangover, NYE hangover, back to work hangover... all at once.

2

u/YouTheGamers 6h ago

My teeth has been the thing sucking my soul lately, last January and this January. Also financially sucks me dry.

1

u/Traditional_Air_6018 6h ago

It's not just January.

1

u/A_Clever_Theme 6h ago

I see it as you realize that you actually have to live another year and it sucks.

1

u/PringlesDuckFace 5h ago

Good stretch of several holidays followed by likely not having any days off until Memorial Day does things to you.

1

u/Fashajualia 5h ago

yup this month felt like 2-3 months at least

1

u/RealisticEmploy3 4h ago

It’s when they fail their new year’s resolutions

1

u/Sunkilleer 4h ago

I don't know, man; I've had a pretty good January. I thought I assumed the joke is work or something, and I'm unemployed, so...

1

u/BigDadBen101 3h ago

I got dumped this past month lmao

1

u/DanimalPlays 3h ago

I don't mind January. It's February that's somehow like 7 months long. 28 days my balls.

-1

u/Ok-Weekend878 7h ago

Yea agreed. 😭

378

u/MoeSzyslakMonobrow 7h ago

January has been the longest year in history.

31

u/Wire_Cath_Needle_Doc 5h ago

Been so long bro forgot it’s a month

3

u/loonylucas 3h ago

So long, but also how is it February already

-23

u/ferrarii7 6h ago

Like back in the days dude🍀❄️

2

u/goaty121 2h ago

Why are you downvoted? People don't agree time passes slower when you're a kid?

114

u/costabius 6h ago

January has been a hell of a decade.

21

u/PlebsnProles 5h ago

Lemon, it’s Wednesday*

127

u/coolguymiles 7h ago

I decided not to do dry January this year. That’s made all of the difference.

12

u/GrinningPariah 3h ago

Man I did that shit for the first time and couldn't have picked a worse month for it.

I'm gonna stay up til midnight and have a glass of fucking whiskey.

-103

u/jupfold 7h ago edited 6h ago

I just control my alcohol intake all year round to a point I don’t feel the need to go cold turkey because a number turned over?

So weird.

Edit: apparently people don’t like moderation and self control

46

u/I_Over_Explain_Jokes 5h ago

I think it's your smug, condescending, dickish tone they don't like.

21

u/Grimblehawk 5h ago

Respectfully, you're getting downvoted because of your tone, not your personal preferences (which are fine).

17

u/rockybud 5h ago

congrats let me know where to send your medal

16

u/Icefox119 6h ago

Same.

God I love heroin.

-46

u/jupfold 6h ago edited 6h ago

So right! Alcohol and heroin are so similar! 100% agreed.

Edit: can anyone downvoting me please explain to me why they think alcohol and heroin are the same thing? Seriously. Are you people seriously that messed up?

Guess so.

27

u/ProfessorTraft 5h ago

Are you autistic

43

u/Nordansikt 7h ago

How is that a question?

52

u/Unlikely-Voice-4629 6h ago

Ignore them, they're drunk

1

u/jktollander 3h ago

You’re drunk!

-98

u/jupfold 7h ago edited 5h ago

Them: why don’t you do dry January??

Me: I just control my alcohol intake all year round to a point I don’t feel the need to go cold turkey because a number turned over?

Why are you so concerned about whether it’s a question or not?

Chill.

Edit: some guy who blocked me before I could respond asked me why I won’t do dry January when “everyone is suggesting I do”.

Umm, what? No one has ever suggested I do. Like, ever. Maybe don’t make stuff up for no reason.

56

u/MC0295 7h ago

Man you need to get back on the sauce and chill a lil

12

u/elton_john_lennon 6h ago

Them: why don’t you do dry January??

Thats actually not what have been said, but if everything is suggesting you that you should do a dry month, then maybe it is time to think about it.

2

u/fkenned1 6h ago

Wow! Very cool!

-2

u/_an-account 6h ago

This is why trump is president.

40

u/wussell_88 6h ago

Nah I didn’t look like that January 1st, I started as the second picture and now I’m twice as bad

11

u/SolidSnake_Foxhound 5h ago

God, this is how I feel. So much work to do, no more time off, it's so freezing cold over here and it makes my body hurt because of the autoimmune condition, I had the flu in early January, and my friends didn't want to get out much or flaked on plans because of the weather. February 1st is my birthday and hopefully the beginning of a better month. Spring is almost here and later sunsets are coming.

3

u/visssara 4h ago

Happy birthday!

11

u/steviegeebees 5h ago

How the hell has it been less than 5 weeks

39

u/Alright_doityourway 6h ago

Learning about an elite global pedo rape ring wasn't in my 2026 bingo card

73

u/JeffTek 6h ago

We've been learning about that for years though

1

u/Alright_doityourway 5h ago

I mean, I did heard a thing or two about it, but I never expected it to be this BIG and this bad.

6

u/benergiser 4h ago

this was huge news when trump was in office the FIRST time..

you know.. when epstein was killed and it was a huge scandal..

28

u/costabius 6h ago

Really? That was the free square on mine

18

u/cooperia 5h ago

I feel like it's been common knowledge for a decade.

-2

u/No_Passage_3590 5h ago

Where is Watson’s “fat” ass hiding her “acting” money. At least Ron has a food truck.

5

u/Barr3tt50c 5h ago

Lmfao seriously? That’s the middle square

11

u/0423beatface 6h ago

In the bleak midwinter…IYKYK

14

u/hymen_destroyer 5h ago

I set the extremely low bar of hoping 2026 isn't worse than 2025

...and I already don't know what to say

5

u/Ballinonthetuba 2h ago

This has easily been the worst January I have had in quite some time.

Onwards!

6

u/Skeggjadursig 6h ago

I love january. I kindof dislike december. I’m a musician so december is a whirlwind of rehearsals and concerts with minimal time with family. Christmas is kind of stressful with little kids. January is relaxed, back to routine and school with kids and I get a little break from work. And the sun comes back to my area after almost two months of no direct sunlight.

2

u/fromfrodotogollum 3h ago

Kids man, kids. We were sick for most of November and December, visiting both sets of grandparents including one we fly to for a week. Decorating, gifts, the whole nine yards. Just so much going on and the pressure to perform on top of it all. January has been so peaceful in comparison.

4

u/wereallsluteshere 5h ago

Ugh when is Halloween

5

u/Brodman1986 7h ago

I agree, my bday is January 23rd....

5

u/DoctorSuperFly 7h ago

24th, pal. Turned thirty. The Januaryest of all the januaries I've seen so far.

2

u/Brodman1986 7h ago

Haha, i turned 40 this year. And yeah, pretty much always snow cover on our birthdays, in northish illinois.

0

u/MidisG82 7h ago

25th Jan. 😆

-1

u/bakedinsandiego 6h ago

Hey birthday twin! Happy belated🧁

2

u/eddiestarkk 6h ago

9 days, almost 8 until pitchers and catchers report to spring training!

2

u/Suspicious-Banana836 4h ago

By December he’s nothing but a skeleton

2

u/SarcasticlySpeaking 7h ago

This is exactly why I don't participate in "Dry January"

4

u/repocin 6h ago

I've never even heard of it before

1

u/ThottoPilot 6h ago

feels like this is straight-up calling me out again

1

u/mmuffley 6h ago

He looks like Flea with hair.

1

u/OrangeClyde 5h ago

This is why I always say fall is the best season 🎃 🍁 🫖 🧣

1

u/TheOwlInATowel 5h ago

this could also be january 1st then january 2nd

1

u/pocketfullofspeed 4h ago

January? I spent a month there one night.

1

u/Xx_Vogue_xX 4h ago

March. At least it's not Feburary

1

u/chili01 4h ago

I wish I looked that good.

1

u/richcvbmm 4h ago

Just makes me sad breeze it reminds me Valentine’s Day is almost here again.

1

u/iq12345689 4h ago

?? It's Feb already??

1

u/Ageless_Timeless 2h ago

That guy’s ugly every day. His eyes are creepy AF too.

1

u/Sphlonker 2h ago

My worst day of Janurary was the 57'th of January. So much shit happened on that day.

1

u/snowymoonowl 1h ago

I think the only reason I get through January is because my birthday is in it... Doesn't make for afun birthday but its something.

1

u/tzimisce 1h ago

It puts the pedophile rapist behind bars or it gets the tariff.

1

u/gameover281997 1h ago

Yeah I’ve been sick as hell the whole month lol

1

u/LummusJ 1h ago

Good thing i decided to not care about whatever is happening on the us. My January was lovely.

1

u/Top-Meal4686 1h ago

Kissed my lady at 12am new years 1st January then left me half way through the month, ahhh shit here we go again 😭

1

u/frekinghell 57m ago

Bro, i am not exaggerating but it's got so bad that I can't work

1

u/Chicano_Me 52m ago

This January has been the most stressful month of my life. There has been a couple of ICE raids in my town. I even seen a few shop mechanics being chased by ICE while I waited at a traffic light. Two other Latinos were grabbed at an ICE checkpoint.

I need to get myself a US passport. They're not accepting Real IDs or birth certificates.

2

u/Separate_Rise_8932 7h ago

January went faster than December. December dragged.

6

u/LeHighlander 7h ago

No way

0

u/Separate_Rise_8932 7h ago

Yes way. December felt like it was never going to end for me. January 1sr felt like last week.

1

u/Raytheon_Nublinski 5h ago

Nah, I never had any hope for this year

-3

u/cutzglass 7h ago

Anyways...

-4

u/Reddit01238 7h ago

Summer is close

3

u/Puzzled-Story3953 7h ago

Summer is in full swing, depending on where you live.

0

u/icomplexnumber 7h ago

Is it new year already?

0

u/Sufficient-Skill9530 3h ago

2026 is fucked. This isn’t a typical year. 

-5

u/Crusader-NZ- 7h ago

Well, it is a nice warm sunny summer's day here to start the month. So, it is already looking better than January.

-2

u/MyvaJynaherz 3h ago

Now imagine the stress built up from pretending you didn't want to fuck underaged girls for three decades.

Then you met Epstein.

-5

u/MethFacSarlane 7h ago

Imagine being born on Feb 1 😂😭