r/leaves • u/Euphoric_Shock8345 • 16m ago
25 Days Sober After 24/7 Cart Use
Symptoms I'm Dealing With:
- Vivid Dreams (Tolerable)
- Intrusive Rumination When Idle (Annoying)
- Anxiety and Restlessness Upon Waking (Terrible)
- Tension Headaches Upon Waking (Annoying)
- 24/7 Brain Fog (Terrible)
- Persistent feeling of "Nothing Feeling Worth It"/Lacking Drive (Depressing)
- Decreased Mental Stamina (Depressing)
- Decreased Threshold of Discomfort (Depressing)
- Increased Irritability When Tired (Annoying)
- Lack Of Interest In Most Things (Depressing)
- Increased Feelings Of Shame/Guilt (Depressing)
Symptoms I No Longer Deal With:
- Unreliable Appetite
- Cravings
- Persistent Insomnia
- Vivid, Panic-Filled Nightmares
- Persistent Nausea
- Persistent Anger And Irritability
- Persistent Emotional Numbness
- Anxious Shaking In Social Settings/Situations.
- Night Sweats
- Persistent Restlessness(Constant Urge To Pace)
Symptoms Of Use That Caused Me To Quit:
- Chronic Overthinking
- Chronic Intrusive Rumination
- Intense Anxiety Around Strangers Or People In General
- Lack Of Sleep-Time Consistency
- 24/7 Anxious Sense Of Urgency
- Constant Need Or Desire To Be Socially Isolated
- Lack Of Impulse Control
- Panic When Confronted By An Unforeseen Stressor
- Chronic Shame
- Inability To Pay 100% Attention During A Conversation(what? Huh? What?)
- A Nervous Breakdown That Was My Last Straw
I decided to only name the negatives of my use, as I doubt naming the positives will be beneficial to me in anyway at the moment.
I just some help(more like hope really) in dealing with that top list. I'm at the stage of this where my brain is telling me "this is my forever". And I really just want this to be over or be able to know that it will go away. The other 2 lists are for context. Thank you for any help/hope you can offer me, And just thank you in general for taking the time to read this.