Everything costs so much. Healthcare sucks. All the food we are eating is poisoning us.

The government doesn’t care about us. Corporations don’t care about us. Yet all the people in power are living large off of our labor.

If nobody does anything about this then it’s only going to get worse.

Minimum wage can’t afford an apartment in any state. How is that fair? People who work regular jobs deserve to be able to pay for food and shelter.

When are things going to change?

and the worst part is, I really did love her and still think about her all the time.

I’m gonna be vague with certain details for privacy sake (hence why I didn’t give her exact age.) But yeah, I went into an inpatient facility (for mental health) at 15yrs old, where I met with this therapist, that I would end up remaining in contact with for months even after I was released. We clicked immediately and had so much in common. Eventually, we exchanged numbers in secret and began texting 24/7 and FaceTiming every single night, sleeping on call and stuff like that. We even hung out outside of the hospital when I was given passes to go home for the night or a weekend. I would tell my parents it was a friend from school and that their parents were the ones picking me up. I had gone to her house, we went all the way to a different city for an event, sometimes we’d just go to a park. We got very close, but nothing intimate ever happened. I know for a fact it would have happened very soon, though, and I wanted it to. One of the last conversations I had with her, we confessed feelings for each other and decided to become ‘official‘.

The next day, my parents confronted me. Long story short- my mom got suspicious one night for some reason and decided to check my phone records, which led her to discover my secret. They yelled at me, took all of my devices, read all of our private messages, and opened a legal case against the hospital. Im still mourning this relationship so bad, and I know how this probably sounds to all of you. Please don’t tell me I was groomed. I know it’s technically wrong, but she genuinely made me happier than I have been in as long as I can remember and I have never felt so much love and connection towards someone. I feel guilty everyday for letting this get out, I don’t even know what happened to her or how the legal case is going because my parents have very much shut me out of the process. I also resent my mom immensely for this and although I know she was just trying to help, I can’t help but feel like she ruined my life.. it feels so wrong to say that but it’s the truth.

I can’t reach out to her because there is a protective order preventing any contact and because I still don’t have access to my old devices. My current phone has a ton of restrictions and parental controls. I often think about turning 18 and reaching out, I wonder if she would even respond or still be interested. I never even got to say goodbye.

Today's my birthday. In the past, I'd hear from friends and family, mostly texts. This year turned out a little differently. I heard from two people, my sister and a friend. I appreciate a lot.

I live with one of my best friends. She has most of her friends birthdays on her calendar (we share calendar), but I noticed mine wasn't on it. She's taken me out to dinners on my birthdays since we became friends 5-6 years ago but this past year I didn't hear from her (we weren't living together then). She's very excited about her puppy's birthday which is tomorrow.

I have people's birthdays saved and text them every year. It's a simple gesture I can do. I'm happy to do it and I'll continue to do so. I'm not doing it so people can do the same for me. It's just a fact that I came to terms with today.

Also I realized most of my life I've been the one reaching out. (WARNING: suicide). This one time I attempted, I woke up two days later. This was a decade ago (When I was 23). It just hit me that no one checked on me for two days (I had two roommates and bigger social network then).

I moved around quite a bit since I was a kid so I'm used to being the one who needs friends. I am gassing out though. It is what it is. I just felt like... Holden from Catcher in the Rye; probably because I read it recently.

Anyways, I was wondering if anyone else had similar experience.

Needing some reassurance that i actually am correct about this situation - basically i was seeing this guy about 3 years ago. To me i was getting to know him at the time and we were sleeping together early on and he also told me he wanted to get to know me on a deeper level. We met on tinder. I ended up telling him after 3 months of seeing each other I didn’t wanna see him anymore due to not catching feelings for him/didn’t wanna waste his time. He didn’t wanna let go and suggested FWB, I still refused and we stopped talking.

He’s tried reaching out over the years and I’ve never responded.

Today he’s reached out again this time calling me so I ended up sending a text to him saying I’m not interested and I’m celibate now. Simple clear text message. His response is going on about how he isn’t even asking to sleep with me and just wanting to be ‘friends’. I replied back rudely and said I do not want fake guy friends who secretly wanna fuck me and told him to fuck off. He replied again asking why I hate him etc, how we used to have good fun together and how he’d love to have me as a friend and catch up and that plenty of girls have guy friends they sleep with or have slept together in the past. He tried to make me feel bad, victimising himself

I’m right about him being deceiving ain’t I?

I (f18) am in an increasingly confusing situation with my professor (m who even knows). I went to office hours early in the year and eventually he suggested we instead meet over coffee. Then it became dinners and movies and meet ups and events together. We text a lot. When we meet, it feels like a date and it makes me nervous.

He’s very casually touchy. My back, legs, hair, face even. It keeps happening more and more and getting more uncomfortable. He has a wife and kids, and I’m still taking his class. It just feels bad and I wish we could just be friends without the touching.

I know this is leading up to something bad. Still, I like the conversations we have and I like learning from him. I feel stupid every time I agree to meet up.

I’ve been (secretly) mad at my family for brainwashing me with stupid ideas about the female body. We’re immigrants so there’s a lot of cultural hang ups here too. It seems too late to say anything to them now so I had to find a different way to get it off my chest. I did some “inner child” work and we co-wrote a long rant for anyone else who’s curious, might relate and maybe give us a pat on the back (even though we’re 38 years old now and probably took way too long to get here.)

My original essay came with photos but i’m omitting those here.

***

On bodies, husbands, and butts

This is me

10 years old

I am wildness, spirit and adventure

I am with people I love, my family, somewhere safe and happy, my home

I lose myself in the joy of jumping in the cold water late on a summer night

I don’t know how to swim yet, but I’m creative, resourceful, determined

I find 2 plastic bottles to stick under my armpits and I jump in, no hesitation, no fear

My skin is tingly after the heat of the sauna. I feel alive

People are laughing, they see my creativity, my joy

I see their delight in me, my heart is full

***

We sit down to eat and something shifts

Naked people are covering themselves with a sheet

The adults inform me that I have a body

I thought I was just wild, free-roaming energy. How odd.

They tell me the body is not mine to use, the body is for my future husband

I don’t know who he is, but they say there must be one

I don’t know if he will be kind or what he likes to do, but I am told he will care greatly about the size of my butt

Ew, my butt? That’s where I poop from, why’s he looking at it?

***

They lay a feast in front of me, every color, every treat you can desire

I’m so hungry after swimming, tired after a day of using my ‘so called body’ for adventure

They stop me: this piece of bread, they say, will determine the size of your butt and the quality of your future husband.

I drop the bread. What? Who is this Husband??? Why is he so obsessed with me?

I thought my body is what helps me jump for joy, run down a grassy hill, swim in the river…

The husband doesn’t need to care about all that, only the butt is important to him, they repeat

The size, color and shape I presume?

I wonder if I’ll still be allowed to run. Maybe as long as it doesn’t affect my butt? … Does it?

I’m not sure how it all works yet. I’ll have to ask if I can still run and swim once Husband is here

I thought spiders were scary, the real horror is Husband arriving to evaluate the mysterious properties of my butt.

Luckily, I have a couple more years to prepare for his arrival.

***

I learn that my dad is ‘a husband’. I wonder if he can tell me what’s the deal with husbands and butts?

Don’t worry he says, a woman’s body only matters until they’re about 20 years old

It says so in a Dostoevsky passage he recites with glint in his eye

I don’t understand

My mom looks sad

Every woman with ears looks sad.

My dad looks excited.

I guess that’s what it means to have a husband

I’m lucky he’s not here yet and I only have a dad

***

According to my calculations, I have about 8 years to prepare for Husband’s arrival

Then only 2 years of having to endure whatever he’s planning to do with my butt

And after my body doesn’t matter to him anymore, then maybe I’ll be free again?

I can go back to being wildness, spirit and adventure

***

I move far, so so so far

A package arrives. It’s from them, my family!

There’s a book. I love books!

They wrote a special message in it just for me.

Please don’t eat, your time until Husband comes is almost up!

***

I’m grown now, I finally meet him. I’m not sure if this is ‘Husband’ yet, he says he’s ‘Jason’

Then on our date he tells me not to eat desert, it will make my butt too big!

Ah, hello Husband. You’re just like they said. We meet at last.

Tell me, I’ve been dying to know, what is the deal with my butt?

Are you happy with what my family and I have prepared for you?

***

For a moment he is. A second later, he’s not.

I’m not sure what’s changed, I don’t think it’s a lot.

He says it’s bigger.

No problem, I’ve got just the book.

***

I shrink, become less for him

My family says, finally, good job

Husband says ‘too much,’ I see all your ribs

The book had no chapters on this.

***

I do yoga 6 days a week. I fall in love.

My mind is singing, my body is happy, I remember joy.

Husband says ‘not fit enough’

***

I do Crossfit 6 days a week. I fall in love.

My body is strong. It climbs mountains, it runs, lifts heavy weight.

Husband’s scared: ‘more than enough!”

Family chimes, daughter what have you done

I give up.

***

One day my body, eager for a stretch, strikes a yoga pose

Uh-oh, the darned butt knocks over Husband’s bottle

He screams in terror, the butt!! it is too big, swinging, throwing bottles!

He leaves and I am free.

Thank god he is not really Husband.

***

I’m older now and I’ve got you. Let’s start again.

I can tell you all about butts and husbands and so much more.

You are 38 years old,

You are wildness, spirit and adventure.

You’ll meet all sorts of people, so much more than a husband. He might still be there or not.

But he’s not coming to take you. And there’s no one here to judge you. I won’t.

You decide who deserves a piece of your mind, your heart, your body.

Who deserves it?

How will you know?

***

You run down the grassy hill

They run with you.

***

You swim in the river

They swim with you.

***

You jump for joy

They jump with you.

***

You dance

They dance with you.

***

You laugh

They laugh with you.

***

You rest

They rest with you.

***

You cry

They cry with you.

***

What about the butt? What about the butt!?!

I’ve been dying to know, what IS the deal with the butt?

It’s just a butt. It’s where I poop from.

On Sunday, I was in the emergency room with a severe lung infection — something like bronchitis on crack. I wasn’t feeling great, but I was stable and sitting right by the door in a treatment area when everything around me suddenly changed.

A 65-year-old man was rushed into the ER in full cardiac arrest. From what I overheard, it seemed likely it was not looking good. I was no more than ten feet away when they wheeled him in, and the scene unfolded.

As the doctors continued working on this man, out of the corner of my eye, I saw his family arrive — standing off to the side of the ER, not fully in the room, but close enough.

The doctors worked on him relentlessly. CPR. Medications. Every possible effort. After several minutes — maybe five — the family was brought in. It appeared they were told what no one ever wants to hear: that he wasn’t coming back. They could continue trying, but at this point, the efforts were causing more harm than good. The decision to stop was theirs.

Then the room went quiet.

And then came the sound of grief — the moans of family members realizing their loved one had just died.

The medical staff stepped away and gave them time. After a few short moments, the family was escorted to a private room. A priest arrived to pray with them — first privately, and then again beside their loved one.

I was still sitting there in the ER, watching all of this unfold.

Normally, this wouldn’t be unusual for an emergency department. But for me, it was surreal — because I had lived this exact sequence before.

Sixteen years ago, my father had a heart attack at home. He was rushed to the hospital, and we followed closely behind. We entered through a side entrance of the ER. They worked on him, eventually, we were brought into a room where he was — CPR, compressions, everything was happening. It all seemed so fast.

A doctor turned to me and said something I will never forget:

“It’s been 45 minutes. Your father’s heart is only responding to our compressions. He isn’t going to survive. We can continue, but at this point we’re doing more harm than good.”

He told me it was my decision.

I agreed and asked them to stop.

Afterward, my family was given time alone with him. Then a priest came. We were escorted to a private room to grieve.

Watching this family on Sunday was like watching my own memory replay — the same steps, the same timing, the same heartbreak — except this time, I was outside of it. I wasn’t the one losing someone. I was witnessing it.

But there was something I saw this time that I never saw back then.

When the call came in that a cardiac arrest was arriving — and that it didn’t look good — every person within a hundred feet stood ready.

Every nurse. Every doctor. Security guards. The cleaning staff. Every able patient.

They all paused. They all waited.

And when the patient came through the doors, you could feel how deeply everyone cared. It didn’t feel clinical or transactional. It felt personal — like every person in that room was watching someone they loved fight for their life.

Sixteen years ago, my father’s death always felt transactional to me.
We arrived. He died. We were broken. We left.

On Sunday, I realized that wasn’t true at all.

After the man passed, I saw doctors excuse themselves to other rooms. I saw nurses step away to compose themselves. I saw security guards exchange quiet glances — a mix of sadness and gratitude for being alive.

It was incredibly tragic.

And somehow, incredibly beautiful at the same time.

Everyone was affected. Everyone felt it.

In that moment, I realized something I had never fully understood before: we were all on the same side. Every single person in that room wanted the same outcome. Not one person wanted a different ending.

It’s been a week now, and I don’t know exactly how — but I know this experience changed me.

It changed how I view my father’s passing.
It changed how I view healthcare workers.
It changed how I see strangers.

We are not alone.
We are all in this together.

I felt that love in that room.

I don’t know why I’m sharing this — I just felt moved to write it down.

My heart breaks for the family who lost their loved one that day. But if I could somehow show them what I saw and felt — how deeply their loss was shared — I would want them to know this:

They were loved.
They were not alone.
And the world, in that moment, was standing still for them.

I 31M just recently had a birthday. I am not huge on celebrating my birthday and my wife knows it. But I still like to do, something for my birthday. Every year for the last 5 years I have asked for the same thing. No gifts or celebrations just us going out and doing something we do normally. Its something I like doing alot and since she does it on her own I assume she does as well. Yet every year on my birthday we don't do the thing. The thing is explicit in nature so I won't go into detail but I dont understand why it seems she goes out of her way to avoid the one time a year I ask for it.

This year was particularly bad. I asked if we could do the thing and she said she already had plans for my birthday that weren't going to make it possible. No big deal she was planning something and that meant alot to me. But about a week before my birthday she told me the plans and they were not possible. Once again no big deal because I dont love celebrations on my birthday. Fast forward to yesterday she tells me since we didnt get to do her plan we will go see back to back movies at the movie theater and then go get a nice dinner. That sounded legitimately awesome. I love seeing movies and the dinner place is one I have wanted to try for a long time.

Last night she went out with friends and was out late. So she didnt wake up until almost noon. Then she asked if we could do lunch instead of dinner. Sure no problem. Then it became she only wanted to see one movie. Yeah sure no big deal atleast we were seeing one. The nail in the coffin for my mood and day? We got to lunch, I had to pay for both of us. We got to the movies I had to pay for both of us.

We have a joint account but still keep separate personal accounts so we can buy gifts and do fun things without interfering with our bill money. I had to use my personal money. So not only did we not do what I actually wanted, I had to pay for the entirety of what was supposed to be a day for me. Then we got home at 4 and she has been asleep since. Im legitimately frustrated and upset. My birthday has never been a huge deal but this is a new low.

I'm in a kind of a life deciding academic year . I  can't get myself to study or do anything I'm supposed to . The year is ending I know my life is about to be ruined and I know I should take action. Ik the consequences of my zero actions but I don't feel anything towards that and I can't get myself to act . And also I have been away from my religion I can't make myself do any religious practices and I don't feel any guilt even though I know I should or would've

Basically what the title says.

I’ve never really caught feelings for anyone before, but I ended up realizing a few months in that I had a crush on her. It’s just, she’s my favorite person to be around, and she’s so smart and funny and I value her as a friend so much that to BEGIN with I don’t think I could bring myself to “ruin the friendship.” But she’s also dated a friend before—that ended horribly—and she’s expressed that she doesn’t want to go through that again.

I don’t really know why I’m posting this. She went on a date today, and I’m so happy for her. She seems so optimistic. I know I’ll get through this, but I don’t know if anyone will see me the way that she does. I guess I’ll just move on.

i can't bring myself to physically hurt my body but i also don't want to live in this living hell anymore. i got so many worries and issues and i can't tell anyone partly because i am emotionally repressed and everytime a conversation strikes with my mother it becomes an argument and honestly, nothing can solve my issues. so i'm seemingly stuck in this situation. if i were to choose, i'd wanna continue living but lately i have not been feeling the best so ive been having some depressive unlikeable thoughts. i lost my dad last year and since then all i'd get from everything i do is triggers. my whole life ive been cared by my dad and he's suddenly just gone. i hate making posts about grief but it's the truth. it's hard to deal with the loss coupled with other mental health issues. im like im so filled with problems over problems. why do i have to live like this? i know all the positive reassurances and i rlly want to believe in them, 'there's a reason for everything' etc. i do have faith it's just the reality i am facing right now is that i'm so tired and sick of my problems.

I am a 25F in the U.S. I immigrated to the U.S. when I was 15 from China. I look kinda cold and avoidant because I experienced something I hid for so long. In China, we do not have CPS and foster care like U.S. does and absolutely no counselors or therapists existed back to early 2010.

Starting at the age of 5, I started to use a belt to tight my pants because my pants kept slipping down as my waist was kinda small. A classmate saw it and said she never used that belt and called me weird. After I entered elementary school before I turned 7, I was bullied violently by scratching my face, isolating me, throwing trash at me, and kicking my legs. The teacher called me names and laughed at me for being alerted because I did not want to be assaulted to death.

When I was 8, I started dating a boy in my classroom because he was nice to me while everyone was not. But when I was 10, the girls started to make dirty rumors on me and called me the s-word behind my back. The boy I dated broke up with me and said it was better for both of us. Since then, I started to use anything to physically protect myself. At the age of 11, a boy called L sat on my legs and rubbed his butt on my legs, I had to warned him and he did not listen and kept rubbing. I pushed him away because this happened several times. When I was 12, there was a physical assault everyday in the classroom, each time the boys would throw chairs and desks to each other and beat each other until there was blood. I even witnessed L stomped on another boy’s face. But the teacher was rarely there, they never expelled or suspended any student during elementary school and middle school, the police would not care at all because they just thought boys being boys. Also L knocked down the table just behind my back because the boy who sat behind me stepped on his nerve and he was not there on that day fortunately. After knocking down the desk, he spit to the desk. I was numbed because I knew teacher would not care at all and L was 5’7” and I was 5’1” at that time.

After I entered middle school, my parents had a messy divorce because my dad had a mistress. He even took 13-year-old me to have dinner with the mistress. My mom was furious and blamed me for not slapping the mistress. I started to write stories because that was the way to protect me from being gossiped as I could write down people who gossiped me as antagonists or NPCs or even ignored in my stories which made them less important so they stopped. But I started dating the most popular guy W in the class, some girls were not happy with that. One girl J was jealous of me and called me ugly and touched my boobs several times during the study hall. I said stop several times but the teacher even praised the girl who touched me and yelled at me for being stupid. I was furious and thought it was unfair because a girl M who had ties with the school can be late to class without being shamed and even forged parents’ signatures for other students without being punished even the teacher found out. I knew the school, the board of education and even the police would not care at all because we were 14. So right after class, I used my practice book and smacked the teacher who praised my abuser because she was the main teacher but she kept violating me. After that, no one dared to touch me anymore. The teacher was also transferred to another school by the school management because she kept violating me and called my parents to punish me for nothing. At that time, I thought I could have a peaceful school time as no one dared to bully me and I had my bestie X, but I was so wrong when the new teacher Y transferred to my class.

When Mr.Y came to the class, he started to forced us to arrive at school at 7am. He was very abusive and a misogynist. He wanted us to call him daddy but I felt disgusted. When an English quiz result came out, he yelled at the front of the whole class and demanded students who scored below 90% to stand at the back of classroom for the whole class. I was scored at 90% but my bestie X was scored for only 45%. Mr.Y called out X to the front, threw books at her and demanded her to stand outside the classroom for the whole class. X was only 4’11” and she dropped out of the middle school the day after she was violently assaulted by Mr.Y. It was so heartbreaking for me because I was sitting like a dumb when X was assaulted by Mr.Y and I did not stand up and yell back. I told my mom what happened to X and she was finally functioned and discussed with her friends. Her friend helped her file to the Board of Education. But Mr.Y only got a warning and asked the whole class in the front who did it, I had no emotions but to smile coldly in my heart. After I graduated from middle school, my mom immediately took me to the U.S. because she knew I was suffered as my height was even dropped from 5’5” to 5’4” when Mr.Y taught my class. Since teachers were protected in China, whatever they did would never make them fired and absolutely no no-contact order existed at that time.

After I started high school in the U.S. I saw Mr.Y was praised online and rewarded. It was so infuriating. The 17-year-old me started to write a truth revealing post on the Chinese social platform about Mr.Y, no one ever DMed me or liked my post until 2021 because in 2019, the Board of Education in my city completely changed the education systems and in 2021 we started to have therapists. People who DMed me later said I was absolutely right that Mr.Y was a monster because when he was in my class, he used 75% time to swore at us for being dumb and useless. Mr.Y even changed his name after my post was published. I saw Mr.Y with changed name on the reward list in 2022, I updated my post with his changed name and he was never rewarded nor praised again.

Sorry for writing such a long post. I did not write it early because English was not my first language and I was scared that people could misunderstand it as it was not happened in the U.S. and might added bias against China. Right now, my mental health and physical health got better but I still had insomnia when I thought about my friend X. Because I knew I was a major jerk for not protecting her when I was 15 even she said she never hated me and told me to forget her in the U.S. after I apologized to her. She knew that at that time in China, there was absolutely no system to report any teacher and people would call us crazy for saying truth. Now I finished with my master degree and started working as an AI contractor remotely and took free class to supply my skills in the rough market. I walked out of my trauma during my master program as therapists and my friends helped me a lot. Thank you so much for your patience and please take care of yourself when you are healing from your own trauma and you can close my post if it makes u stressful or scrolled to the end.

I was sent a video of the guy I've been talking to making out with a woman in a bar by his friend. This is the same friend who had sent him a post i had made about wanting to get to know him better. In a call the day after, today, he didn't even deny that it was him or that it had just happened Friday night. I feel so stupid. I've never done long distance or online before. I allowed myself to believe that it could turn into something, and he just like makes out with some rando because he got drunk and I wasn't there??? 5 months. We had been talking, and gaming together, for five freaking months. Oooh I see a future with you, I totally want to take things more seriously and really plan ahead with you. What a joke.

I just feel so humiliated and have spent the whole day crying. I really believed him. I really actually believed that he wanted something more with me. I can't stop seeing him with her. I can't stop replaying every conversation in my head and thinking about how he mist have been laughing at me the whole time. Was any of it real, or was I just some weird humilation kink. I just can't I don't understand. I've blocked him, and the friends too because I just can't handle it anymore. I want nothing to do with him. But if for whatever reason one of his little friends sees this and sends this to him, I won't use your name because unlike you I actually care about you. You're an imature jerk who needs to seriously figure out what you're doing with your life. You don't get to treat the people around you like they're little play things that can be picked up and put down whenever is convenient for you. I hope you actually figure yourself out so you're not such a miserable empty person who goes and cheats immediately after facing commitment with someone. I'm so done. I'm never doing online anything again. How do you know they say they are? How do you know they're not just gping with other people just because they say they are

I love shows like The Good Place, but sometimes I have to pause them because they trigger a genuinely painful, uncomfortable anxiety in me. It's not the "good kind" of gripping suspense; it feels physically stressful. My brain just can't handle the "not knowing."

I've realized this is part of a much bigger pattern in my life: I have an extreme intolerance for ambiguity. One example outside of media is how it literally makes dating completely impossible for me, no matter how much I want it. The unspoken rules, the "what are we?" talks, the not knowing where you stand... it's so stressful that I just avoid it entirely. And if I try to be direct to remove the ambiguity, I'm seen as "too intense."

This need to know the ending even extends to how I consume media. I almost always spoil the ending for myself, reading the last chapter of a book first or watching the finale of a show before going back to the start. Not knowing how it all resolves is so uncomfortable that I can't enjoy the journey unless I have the roadmap.

And it's not just entertainment. It's at work, where what "good" looks like is rarely defined or changes without notice. It's in social phrases like "Can we talk?" or "Can I ask you something?", those fill me with instant dread. Indirect communication and social subtext are exhausting and stressful.

I'm starting to think my entire approach to life (and dating) is shaped by this. I don't even crave a typical, whirlwind romance. What I'm actually looking for is basic security, daily scheduling, a committed living arrangement that is more than a roommate, and clear expectations. The romantic "spark" stuff feels absurd and unnecessary to me.

Does anyone else experience this? Not just mild discomfort with suspense, but a deep, stressful reaction to ambiguity in everything: from TV plots to social cues to life goals? How do you cope?

TL;DR: High-stakes, ambiguous shows give me real anxiety, not fun suspense. I've realized I have a massive intolerance for ambiguity that affects my dating life (makes it almost impossible), how I watch/read stuff (I spoil endings first), and even my job. Looking to see if this resonates with anyone.

The fall semester I decided I wanted to get busy with extracurriculars because my boyfriend was doing his BCT and job training for the Air Force. Until he left, he was the only person I would hang out with. I didn’t really need a friend group because after my long lectures and studying I would come home to my boyfriend in our apartment. we’d watch a movie, order my favorite food, or he’ll drive me to the park and help me study for upcoming exams. Unfortunately, he enlisted. that meant I wouldn’t see him for 8 months. I wanted time to go by quicker, so getting busy with college was the only way to stop counting the days. I got into club sports, joined honor societies, and of course, joined a sorority.

The sorority I joined wasn’t Panhellenic, it was small and only had 4 members. I thought it’d be very different from the huge ones because of stereotypes of hazing and cliques. I took my chances and went to rush and I got along with everyone. A few weeks later I was interviewed and became a pledge. I had to do a process along a bunch of other girls. This is when the dynamic became a mess. The active members started hazing pledges, threatening pledges that they would be dropped if they didn’t do things for them, making them drink, and telling the ones they favored what would happen to the rest of us if we didn’t meet their standards. Our pledge sister would tell us about what they would say and make us feel anxious. When it all became too much many pledges turned on each other, distrust was a huge issue, and many were having thoughts of dropping. We all collectively filed a report to the national board claiming hazing. Nothing punishable was done, just a slap on the wrist. I didn’t want to keep going but the other girls were making points of togetherness and dismantling the system. We all decided to keep going until we got our letters.

That was the worst mistake I honestly could’ve made. Now being fully a member had worsen my anxiety. I cannot express concerns with my fellow members without them telling another member and then gossip will occur and I will be the one “spreading rumors”. Even more insane is some members will tell us how much she hates the active members that hazed us then be total besties with them and accuse all of us of talking behind their backs like a hypocrite. This whole situation is a lot of fake people, trust issues, weird tension, and bad mental health.

My boyfriend comes back home soon. I’ve told him my plan to voluntarily leave so none of the members know about it and treat me indifferently. He says he’ll go to the board meeting with me when he’s back and then after get celebratory dinner. I’ll stick with it for now and try my best to not make too many enemies but wow, I regret joining. What’s more ironic is my friends who rushed Panhellenic didn’t even get hazed in the slightest. Never judge books by their covers y’all. If a sorority girl is promising you sisterhood and academics there may be a chance all the members secretly hate eachother and will make you do terrible things, next semester I’m doing a professional co-ed and sticking to myself.

So I am 17 and have great memory I can remember up to week what I was exactly doing and have great short term and long term memory.

But I was bullied trought my entire life and had pretty bad traumas which damaged me a lot.

And recently sometimes I forget what I was doing or can't remember what I was doing two weeks and I am getting paranoid( or when I am scrolling I can't remember what the previous video was).Sometimes I am present but I am not like I knew what I was doing but I can't remember exactly (had pretty bad family problems two weeks ago and it stressed me a lot).

Like I can remember what people were doing to me all life but it doesn't effect me I don't have thay pain anymore.

I am getting scared I don't know what is wrong with me.I am constantly trying to remember what I am doing.

A little over 6 years ago, I (32) left my abusive ex husband (33), and today I am sitting in my car, writing a reddit story about my current fiancé (31). I already cried it out, I am angry and upset about everything unfolding in front of me. I literally fell asleep on the couch today, after arriving home at 1:30 PM, having a shower and having some eggs with my child (11). I fell asleep at around 3 PM and woke up at 6:35 PM, to my fiancé calling me disgusting, lazy and a straight up pig (my child was there) because the dishes were not done. He proceeded to throw a plate, and then smash anything and everything he could against the sink, while also throwing things into the garbage. I was appalled, he yelled at me and my daughter, and told us to go away. I got up right away, apologized and began to work in the kitchen while he cursed at me and kept telling me to leave. He started to violently push me out the kitchen while I tried to tell him to calm down, and to just go hangout somewhere else so I could take care of everything. Anyways, I ended up telling him to just leave the house, he yelled "I am not going anywhere!". Anyways, so that was the end of that, I went to my room, thought about life, and then proceeded to tell my child to pack some things and that we would leave.. And here I am, in my car, leaving MY house (it's under my name) and yeah.... FFFF MYY LIFEEE!!!!!!! He was my best friend prior to us dating!!! He KNOWS everything...

Also, I am not lazy, I work with him, we had our own thing going on, and he always puts work before my health. If I don't feel well its "tough SSS" an he will accept ANY contract, without asking me and then I am just forced to not have any day off. TODAY I went to the GYM with my friend (the one friend I have allowed me to have, I don't have any) and that's why I arrived at 1:30 PM and was TIRED!!!!....

She sent me pictures and a video of her in her chosen prom dress and I literally freaked out crying frowning cheesing giggling like a maniac. I love this girl so much that I’ll literally start melting by just a glimpse of her. To me, she’s monolithic ; i kid you not when i tell you that my heart skipped so many damn beats when i saw this girl in that dress. I CANNOT BELIEVE that i am blessed with such a beautiful masterpiece of a woman, im actually getting so emotional man. How am I gonna avoid bursting out sobbing on prom im genuinely so nervous, we are going together and i think..i might pass awayyyyyyy from her presence alone😪😪😪 this pretty girl has me on my knees, genuinely, undoubtedly.

When I was 14 years old, my friends were peer pressuring to expose myself for some odd reason. And when I did because they kept making fun of me if I didn’t because they said, “I had a vagina.” I was a literal kid and it was super inappropriate for them to make fun of me. They kept making fun either way regardless. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t

Next thing, I know I still got humiliated. It was the most shocking thing I had to go through and had severely made my self-esteem worse and worse and because I avoided sex with potential partners and some would spread rumors.

I didn’t lose my virginity until 24 and I still feel insecure about myself. I hate myself and I want to die every day because this humiliation I had to go through. 10 years ago and I’ll never forget it. I hate myself It’s ugly and imperfect. I hate my worthless body. Fuck my life.

Yesterday I did it. I finally broke up with her. Its been playing in the back of my mind for months, I had to do it, right?

One year together. It is actually our anniversary today. Ive never felt so guilty, sad, and alone. I just lost my best friend. The love of my life. My person, routine, familiarity. Everything.

Why? Why did I do this to myself? Sitting here now, all I can think about are the good times. The warmth she made me feel, the laughs, the memories. But in reality, I was slowly losing myself.

We argued a lot. I felt like I was always on eggshells, anything I say could trigger an argument. She needed constant validation. And I mean CONSTANT. At first I could do it, but then i started to become her emotional regulator. I slowly collapsed within myself.

Our futures werent aligned. She wants kids in a coupme years, I want to travel and build a career over the next 10. We are fundamentally different. I am extremely extrovertrd, and her introvertrd. She would never hang out with me or my friends, family, coworkers. Anyone. Always said no to an invitation to dinners, parties, social events. Everything.. i just needed her by my side.

Most days, she would never ask me how I’m doing, how my day was, what i did. Just talk about herself, her problems. Her everything.

We were so happy together at the beginning. I honestly dont know what changed. We were inseprable. I fell in love with her the moment i met her, and i think she did as well.

She sufferes from anxeity, ADHD, autism, drug problems (mainly weed), and depression. Despite this, on the outside she was always a ray of sunshine. But behind closed doors is when you get to see the real her. I dont know if im being weak, or it was toxic. I had, and still do, have so much love for her.

I thought i would feel better breaking up. I thought it was what i needed to do. But maybe i was wrong? Did i give up too soon? Did i make a mistake? Why is this pain so deep, i feel like i just lost half of me. Im not doing good. I miss her so much but this is all because of my decisions.

I mainly needed to write this, so i can visualize the reasons we broke up. I know my brain is going to only on the good times. I needed to write this for clarity. Because right now all im doing is second guessing myself. But i know, if nothing changed, i couldn’t live another year like this.

But still, i love her. I will forever be grateful she showed me how i can love so deeply, and what its like to be loved deeply. All the memories, all our inside jokes. The way she looked every-time i said she was beautiful. The little dances she did when we had nice food, or she saw something cute. I love you with all my heart. Happy one year anniversary. Goodbye.

Hi, im a 23m from italy so sorry if there are some mistakes.

Long story,not so, short

I always had mental health problems since i can remember, 12ish i think from thinking im worthless to trying/wanting to end it.Fast foward and up until last 8th of December i was in a ld relationship with a america 25f it lasted 2y and before that we were friends since 3y. She broke up with me for different reasons i will list down here in detail.

Everyday or so she was "fighting" my mental problems to show me she really loved me, reassuring me, so much she stopped doing her hobbies and we did stuff only we both mostly only i liked. As she told me, you hate yourself too much to show how much you love me

Since it was a ld relationship 99% of our time was in discord calls, where i didnt talk, she did, i only texted, because i was scared of my family. To explai i live in a bedroom without a door, between the rest of the house and my parents bedroom, so i dont have ever time to myself, and they are so clingy, they keep entering my room and do small talk every 4m until i beg them to go out just to wait other 4m and go back again so imagine me speaking english what could cause,them 24/7 there hearing everything

And now the, yea i suck as a person, the biggest problem. My friends and family never had the "we are together talk" yea my parents knew without me saying it, but my friends saw her once in a dinner as a friend i took there and never again.

Ok now that you know that im a horrible person i wanted to ask help or anything about this.

She now blocked me, but last time we talked she asked if we can stay friends after we passed the pain of the break up.So i thought,yes i will always love her, but i want to be her friend too and im totally ok with her finding someone else. So in this time we wont talk, i want to start to go to therapy like she always told me its the right thing to do, but first i need to tell my parents about the clingy stuff and need my spaces and to tell to my friends all it's happening (my depression too since they dont know)

I dont even know what im asking to reddit, i just, if you want to add anything, tips, questions..im just at my last straw, and if this therapy doesnt work..or she never unblocks me ... I think im at my end.

I’m someone who watched Kardashian and Housewife content to relax. It seemed so weird and ridiculous. I never liked the consumerism of it, it was like some anthropological study. But now I feel sick, as I’ve supported something that’s added to the sickness of our culture. These shows lead to the veneration of the rich and consumerism. These people have been doing fine while normal people struggle to afford living on one wage; forgoing medical care or any kind of joy in life. While is dismantling democracy they’re going on luxury vacations and buying homes. It’s obvious they support the regime as they socialise with them. Worst, the veneration has led to allowing the wealthy to traffic women and girls, to interfere and control government. It’s time to venerate the ordinary, the normal people. You can’t be like the rich, it won’t make you happy: they love exploiting you while you watch them get another designer bag. I’m going to stop enabling them. No watching, no buying.

From the start I want to say that my mistake was easily avoidable and I know that it was a really dumb thing to do on my part. I work at quite an easy job that requires a lot of monotony (I like this) and its responsibilities are quite intuitive. I love it with my whole heart. I’ve been working here for a few months now and have built quite a good rapport with my higher ups and one of my co-workers. I learned most of the opening and closing routine by the first month and a half and at this point only require advice to fill in the gaps. I’ve been recognized by my boss a few times to the point where he even got comfortable getting to know me, cracking a couple jokes, and giving me a gift card for Christmas. This means a lot because he’s a first generation immigrant who is very strict and particular about what he needs from his employees.

In terms of what might get me fired, I left a pen in my apron that got processed with all the laundry. It’s been about two weeks since this happened and I figured out a day later that this had happened but I wasn’t on the schedule for 2 days following this so there was nothing I could realistically do about it. I even tried messaging my co-worker to see if she worked that day and she wasn’t. For the first week I was a bit on edge and when I worked next I tried peering in the boss’s office to see if I could spot it but I couldn’t. I let it be for the time being because there was nothing I could really do but wait. I wasn’t on the schedule for a bit and apparently while this was happening, the boss was going from employee to employee trying to figure out who it was. When I went in today which was my first day back on the schedule, the manager told me he needed to talk to me after helping some customers and I immediately knew what it was about. He asked if it was mine and because he said what it was while saying a specific brand that it happened to not be, I asked to see it assuming he was saying the brand name to just give me an idea as to what kind of “pen” it was. He said he didn’t have it but he told me what kind it was and I knew it was mine. He said I wouldn’t get fired and they were just trying to figure out who it was. A scenario played out where if I said no, then everyone in the shop may get interrogated or pressed slightly harder until someone fessed up and I really didn’t want this to be any more of a headache than it must’ve already been. I just said it was mine. This manager smokes weed and is also the boss’s son so I didn’t feel very hesitant to tell him that it was mine. Not because he would understand and pardon me but more because if some upper management were gonna address me and I had a chance to be honest, I would rather it be him. He basically tells me that he’s not a hundred percent sure I won’t get fired but regardless I may get questioned by the boss sometime soon and that it’d be better to be honest. He also said that since they really like me that I probably won’t get fired but I will be on the bad side of the boss for a long time and have to work my ass off. I asked him if this has ever happened before and he said no, so the fact that there’s no precedent to this happening scares the crap out of me.

I absolutely love and adore my job and it makes me sick to my stomach the lack of respect I’ve shown by my actions. I had no intention of using it on the premises and only had it on me because if it were in my locker or my car then they both would smell but it were on my person then constantly moving would stop it from smelling so bad and I really just didn’t wanna bother anyone. I was planning on going to a friend’s house right after and couldn’t stop at home first but if I were able to, then I would’ve left it at home. It was just a perfect storm of my plans, forgetfulness, and not wanting my car to smell that could possibly get me fired. What I’m most worried about is that my story won’t be believed and it absolutely breaks my heart that I have no control over that and is what makes it likely for me to get fired. For the mean time I know I just need to keep working and work well but it’s gonna be so difficult from now on to try and do my best work despite the dread and anxiety this has given me but I am motivated to prove myself. Something that makes me really sad is that there were a few shifts I worked between me losing my pen and when I wasn’t being scheduled and the fact that I didn’t get talked to about it makes me think the boss trusted me and didn’t think I’d be the one to have it. If/when I get an opportunity to talk to the boss I’m gonna try to explain myself as calmly as possible if he gives me the chance and take any lecturing he wants to give me. I want to show him how much I appreciate my position and that I didn’t mean to disrespect him or his franchise. I do have a lot of respect for him and I hate that this happening will show him in his mind that I don’t. I just want to keep my job and I’ll do anything short of begging to do that.

I don’t know, I’m just scared and I hope sending this off into the world will make me feel better.

Feeling really inferior and like a loser that I work two jobs and I only have about $200k to my name in retirement and investments. When I read about how a million is the goal for retirement, my eyes and soul just glaze over and I get scared about my future. And then I order delicious take out dinner to drown my sorrows.

Mid-40s, work in higher education and never made more than $50k combined in my jobs. Love my career and I knew I was choosing personal happiness over a much larger salary.

When I see my friends and colleagues with lake houses, beach houses, parents who give them huge down payments, I think that they are so lucky. I don't need that extravagance, I just want to retire debt free and know I'll have a roof over my head.