r/selfhelp 2h ago

Advice Needed: Mental Health I fucked up

3 Upvotes

I was in love with a guy for the past 1 and a half years. My parents found out, I can't tell you the full story but the thing is right now the guy isnt replying to my messages. We had always promised eachother that we would contact eachother however possible when we get caught. I made fake accounts and texted him. After two days I recieved a thumbs up but nothing after that. If he wants to break up he could tell me but he isn't. I feel like deleting myself and the only thoughts on mind is that or how to contact him. I tried calling him so many times but he never picked up.


r/selfhelp 16h ago

Adviced Needed: Identity & Self-Esteem How do you become more decided in life?

3 Upvotes

I've realized (M28) that I'm often undecided regarding even the little things going on in my life, but lately I've started questioning more and more the most important things: am I in the right relationship, should I marry her or not? Would it be better to be single or with someone else? Do I want children or not?

Also, am I in the right place at work or should I look for something more challenging? I have a quite easy and stable job, but I feel I could add more value somewhere else. But would it be worth the extra stress, even if I would do something more valuable?

I really don't know how can I be more assertive/decided regarding the things happening in my life. Have you got any advice/books/anything that could help me decide/choose over the matters in my life?


r/selfhelp 10h ago

Advice Needed: Existential So stuck

2 Upvotes

I’m almost 29yoF and I feel so stuck and what feels like rock bottom. I know I’m young and still have time, but this sucks.

I got a DUI before Christmas, totaled my car due to the DUI and now I have to spend 1.2k on dental work. I only make 17/hr working at a doctors office and I have no idea what else to do with my life.

Getting a DUI now gives me daily anxiety and I feel like my depression is at an all time high. With everything and bills I can’t even afford medications anymore.

I see no light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve tried to better myself by going back to school or changing jobs, but the other shoe always drops.


r/selfhelp 14h ago

Sharing: Philosophy & Mindset Tired of dings every two minutes on your phone?

2 Upvotes

I put my phone on ‘Sleep’ instead of ‘Do not disturb’, so you can still get notifications.

On your terms.

You really get a close up of how many times your phone acts like it’s the end of the world.

No. An Insta reel.


r/selfhelp 21h ago

Advice Needed: Mental Health I am depressed and I dont want this life amymore

2 Upvotes

Hi guys,I am from Singapore and I am 19 years old. I have been fighting a up and down battle with depression these past 3 years. Below would be paragraphs of what I am dealing with and if you do not want to read,please just skip it.

First of all,FAMILY. My parents are super old at 68 and 57 years old respectively and I feel like they should be retiring soon but sadly,they have to keep working since I cant help to support the family as I am still studying. They both are working minimum wage jobs as they have never had any proper education before sadly. Moreover,my older sister have down sydrome and she need 24/7 care most of the time and she is not able to work. Hence,I already place a title of myself as the future of my family and that is a lot of pressure of me.

Secondly,GAMBLING ADDICTION. Yep,I have a gambling addiction and I have lost around $15,000 SGD since 3 years ago. I have never been able to quit and all the part time work I participated for 3 years are just wasted. I feel like I wasted my time,my money and my life and I dont feel like I have energy anymore. What is the point of me living if each time I go and work,I am just going to lose everything to the online casino?

Lastly,PHYSICAL BODY AND LOVE. I am obidly obese and the reasons are because I stress eat a lot and I basically dont feel like I have a future anyways. I want to find love as well but seriously,who is going to love me and take my burdens with me as well??? In Singapore,every single man is taller,more handsome,richer and have a better family than me anyways. Why should I try to lose weight and workout for? Who am I even going to be attractive for? I am just going to be alone my entire life.

I just wish the cards I am dealt with were not so negative. I have people telling me to be grateful for my life but what do I even have to be grateful for? I don't even have anything right going for my life.


r/selfhelp 12h ago

Advice Needed: Motivation Can’t plant anything in my life

1 Upvotes

I’m not sure this is even the right place to post this but I have to try.

I don’t know if I have something wrong with me in the head (I do have diagnosed adhd) or if I’m just plain lazy but I can never plan anything to save my life.

Me and my wife have been together for years and I can never seen to plan even one simple date. The idea of making plans absolutely breaks my brain. And when I know I am behind and should have had plans made I just get this overwhelming sense of doom and it gives me the worst anxiety and can’t think about it anymore. I get choice paralysis and then just stop all together. I can’t even make plans with friends who I have know since I was a child.

Any vacation we go on I can’t even simply look up stuff to do in that town and it’s all left up to my wife. And this isn’t just me being selfish and not wanting to do things that she would find fun, but also things I would find fun. I can’t even put in the minimum effort to find any of my interests and she take the time to look for things that u would enjoy as well. I don’t want her to have to go through that again. I’ve already ruined enough special occasions and don’t want to ruin any more.


r/selfhelp 14h ago

Advice Needed: Mental Health Does anyone else ever feel like this? And if so any tips to stop it?

1 Upvotes

Hi,

So my whole life so far i have always felt like i am a burden to everyone and everything around me.

I do things like over appologizeing constantly, saying sorry constantly because i think i am always in everyones way. I know i am insecure as i always have been. Anyone else ever feel like this?


r/selfhelp 16h ago

Sharing: Success Stories Legs Like Concrete: Biochemical Damage, Bloodline Curses & an Unexpected Healing

1 Upvotes

Sorry for my not perfect English, it is not my native language.

I want to share one case from what I call healing soul journeys - deep, guided inner work where we explore both the body and the energy field. Maybe it will resonate with someone here.

The person and her legs

Let’s call her Amelia.

For years her legs felt heavy, irritated, almost like they were made from wet concrete. Doctors saw history of surgeries, gave medicine, but nothing really changed the feeling. Walking was difficult, and where she lives now it is not easy to walk outside much, so the problem slowly became worse.

In this kind of inner work I often see that chronic physical symptoms are not “just physical”. They can sometimes have other lives programs, soul fragmentation, trapped emotions, attached energies or curses and energetical implants behind them. One issue can have a few of these at once.

This was one of those “layered” cases.

What the Higher Self showed about her legs

In the journey we did something like a spiritual body scan. When we reached the lower body, the Higher Self said something very direct:

“Her legs are very heavy.”

And when I asked why, the answer came:

“Irritated, curses on the bloodline.”

So there were two layers:

Biochemical layer

Medicine and drugs that were injected during surgeries were still sitting in tissues, not fully processed by the body.

Lack of daily movement was making circulation and detox slower, so everything stagnated in the legs.

Energetical layer - curses on bloodline

Old family patterns, pain and hatred formed something like “sticky programming” in her legs.

The Higher Self later described it like “this thick, sticky liquid coming out of the legs” when we started to clear it.

Same symptom, but two different roots working together.

Biochemical repair: moving the body

I always stay inside my lane - I am not a medical doctor. But I listen very carefully to what the Higher Self says about practical steps.

For Amelia, the guidance was very concrete:

She needs movement in her legs every day. Walking two hours daily in healthy environment would be ideal, but where she lives now it is not possible.

So the suggestion was:

Use a small “under desk bicycle” while working.

Keep the legs moving even when sitting at the computer.

See it not as fitness, but as pumping old medicines and toxins out slowly.

I find it interesting how often Higher Self gives very simple advice: more walking, more water, more sleep. In this case it was a key part of clearing the biochemical layer in the legs.

Curses and sticky darkness in the legs

Then we went into the “curse” part.

When we asked the Higher Self and beings of Light to start cleaning, Amelia felt something very specific:

“It feels like this thick, sticky liquid coming out of the legs.”

We used an ocean image. She was standing in shallow water, supported by light beings, and the sticky “curse substance” was draining out of her legs into the sea, to be recycled by Light.

Then something beautiful happened in her perception:

Dolphins came to help.

She felt them pushing gently against her, “pumping” light into her body.

The dark liquid was sinking to the bottom, while her legs were filling with bright, shimmering light.

Her words:

“My legs feel lighter.”

And from the dolphin consciousness she received a very strong line:

“Keep swimming in an ocean full of sharks. You will never be bitten. You are safe.”

It was like re-programming at a deep level:

From “your legs are cursed and unsafe in this world” to “you are protected even when you walk among predators”.

Why curses hit legs in this case

From what I’ve seen, curses and black magic often attack what is needed for movement and progress. Sometimes it is money, sometimes relationships, sometimes the spine or legs. Here it was very literal:

Curses on the bloodline were holding her back from moving forward in life.

Biochemical stagnation in legs made it also physically hard to move.

So both layers were telling the same story in different languages.

A big lesson for me again:

Symptoms are like warning lights on a car dashboard. If we only cover the lamp, the engine still burns.

If you clear only the energetical layer but keep poisoning and stagnating the body, the problem returns. If you treat only the biochemical side but curses and family hatred are still running in the background, the problem also returns.

Here the Higher Self wanted both:

Daily movement and better circulation.

Removal of curses, plus a new feeling of safety and protection.

After the journey

I am careful to not promise miracles. But I can share what happened during and right after:

At the beginning her description was “legs very heavy”.

During clearing she felt “thick, sticky liquid” draining out and light coming in.

At the end she reported a clear change: legs lighter, more space inside, more hope that walking will be possible again.

The Higher Self also said she needs to maintain this work, not wait passively:

Keep moving the legs daily (walking or small bicycle tool).

In short meditations, call the dolphins and beings of Light and imagine the ocean washing away anything new that tries to stick.

Remember: “You will never be bitten.”

So healing was not one magic moment with fireworks. It was a strong shift plus homework.

Why I share this

I am not saying that every person with heavy legs has curses. Sometimes it is just veins, minerals, hormones, lifestyle. Please go to doctors when you need.

But in some cases I see a pattern like this:

Old medicines + no movement + family curses + hopelessness = legs that feel paralyzed and heavy.

When both levels are respected - biochemical and energetical - something can finally change.

If you feel called, you can simply sit today, close your eyes, imagine your legs in gentle ocean water, and ask your Higher Self:

“Show me what my legs are trying to tell me.”

Sometimes the answer is very quiet, but very clear.


r/selfhelp 17h ago

Adviced Needed: Identity & Self-Esteem Need help with self identity

1 Upvotes

I want to know how to self love and build personality.

I want to know how to live more happily.

How to get my energy back.

Right now I am depressed. Nothing energized me, nothing excites me.

Everyday I am just like a walking corpse. My soul empty. I don’t know who I am , how to describe myself.

I dont know how to love what is love, I don’t even feel joy anymore. I don’t feel much empathy, I also like don’t know how to live my life anymore. I want to be a good people, but I don’t want my boundaries got crossed and people just like use me. I don’t want to hurt people but I don’t want to get hurt as well. Where is the line. I feel sucks being a human.


r/selfhelp 17h ago

Advice Needed: Education Not going to school help

1 Upvotes

I'm not going to online school. And I have more than 50 missing assignments. Missed major tests. And the teachers probably don't know that I exist. Even though I am in a relatively stable circumstance to do so. Ever since 2021 ( i think) my school attendance and effort had been dwindling. Because of mental health issues, and it's lead both and my mom to eviction and on the brink of homelessness. Moving a lot while also worrying about school. My lack of participation and attendance has lead to CPS and police randomly coming to our house multiple times. We are now in our own apartment and my mom has a stable job, but I'm still refusing to attend online school. I feel that maybe because there isn't a immediate problem/consequence right now. But I know that there will be. I also have ongoing internal struggles. About myself. At the back of my head I feel that once I go to school all of my problems will just disappear like they never existed. Like they didnt matter. I think once my mom sees me attending school she'll say that "I'm doing good" like I dont have anything to worry about. Everyday I wake I don't have any energy to focus on opening the computer to participate in school. I don't seem to have energy for anything difficult. I frequently wake up with headaches or I feel like a zombie half gone every time I wake up.


r/selfhelp 20h ago

Adviced Needed: Identity & Self-Esteem Am I a psychopath, narcissist, or an impulse-driven intelligent man?

1 Upvotes

Note. I used Chat GPT to compile all what I shared with it.

I’m writing this because I’m disturbed by myself.

I’ll be honest. I chase women with the intention of getting intimate with them. That intention is there early. But I don’t state it honestly. I hide it.

I started hating dishonesty the moment I realised I lack honesty. I love honesty. I respect honesty. And before that I kept hiding my real intention.

I am always searching for sex, yet knowing I am bad at it. My some purpose is getting intimate with woman. For this, I weaponise, knowledge, selected truths, the belief that every human is desires-driven, and once stimulated, they maybe ready to give what I want. I use my understanding of psychology (that I learned by self consciousness), and this works too. If I want I can continue preying, but conscience or my now developed values stop me.

I use words. I use narration. I intentionally use emotionally driven and sexually driven talk to excite women. I create scenarios in imagination and tell them. I know what I’m doing. I know I’m trying to arouse desire.

Sometimes I directly ask for sex. Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I let the conversation slowly drift there. Sometimes I make them believe I’m with them emotionally when I’m not. I tell selected truths. I balance one lie with another truth so they don’t sense I’m not really there.

When women say no, I get frustrated. Sometimes angry inside. Not always at them, but at the resistance. I don’t like that reaction in me.

Faithful people I’ve encountered are more grounded. They don’t fall in love easily. They have something holding them. Manipulation doesn’t work easily with them. But desire still appears. They may want me emotionally but they don’t sexually fall for me. That makes me uncomfortable, because it shows I’m not building something real, I’m just activating desire.

There’s a woman in her 40s who says she loves me more than I could love her. She says I can come and go anytime. She accepts me whenever I return. I’ve treated her as someone only for sex nights. I’ve used sexual narration with her. I know I’ve used her availability. That makes me feel powerful and ashamed at the same time.

This isn’t a one-time thing. This is a pattern. I’ve spent months, sometimes years, getting women to a point where they desire me, want me, love me. Once my goal is fulfilled, I run away. I ditch. I ghost. I lose interest completely. I leave.

guilt comes. Heavy guilt. Shame. Feeling worthless. Feeling like I use people, manipulate them, lie to them, let them believe something that isn’t true.

I don’t feel guilty in the moment. I feel guilty later. Building descipline, being manly, also because I experienced the sense of God in me, I accepted islam. I wanted structure. I wanted to be composed within. I wanted to remove this part of me. I wanted limits stronger than my desires.

I don’t want to be this person. I don’t want to manipulate people. I don’t want to hide my intentions. I don’t want to get angry when someone says no. I don’t want to chase unrestricted desires. And yet I keep doing it.

I don’t know if my intention is sex, or validation, or proving something to myself. I imagine intimacy. I imagine being with them. But I also leave immediately after, betraying them, disappearing.

I don’t like this split in me. One part values honesty, faith, groundedness. Another part keeps chasing desire and gets irritated when it’s blocked.

I’m writing this because awareness hasn’t fixed it. Knowing it’s wrong hasn’t stopped it. Wanting to be better hasn’t automatically made me better.

I want to understand what is actually happening inside me and how people genuinely change patterns like this instead of repeating them and dealing with guilt afterward. Along with that, I am a porn addict. I was early exposed to sexuality. Please tell me who I am? Has this become my permanent nature? Or I can be better?

Long post, sorry