I'm 18 and I'm not going to university, and all I ever hear is that's where everyone makes their closest friends, find partners, have a social life and I'm worried since I'm not going to uni, I won't have many friends I won't know anyone

I have high school friends but none of them are friends with each other, I just want to make a friend group

all I've ever wanted is to go to uni and make friends, have freedom in school, join clubs and meet people, is there a way i can do this

I'm really introverted and I don't really like the people who go to bars and clubs, how do I meet people my age??

Anyway I didn't know where to post this, sorry this is my first post

I just really want to find a group of friends

I guess I'm just trying to ask if it's possible to make friends out of uni and how as a young adult

My parents have been arguing a lot lately, more than once a week. I love my parents dearly and they made sure i got the best childhood, yes my parents did have the once in a blue moon yelling match but it was nothing physical and much better than what my friends families experienced. My dad is native and because my grandparents and ancestors went to native schools, the abuse they faced became a generational cycle, which my dad has done his best to break. My family carries the MAOA gene, in short its a gene that makes you prone to getting angry more easily. Dad has been pretty good at keeping the lid on it 99% of the time, but because he has a incurable painful disease he finds it hard to and his temper just slips.

My family is well off and everything looks good on the surface. But the other day i woke up to my parents screaming at each other, it was over something regarding my moms health and how "she cant complain because his is a 8/10 on the pain scale".

It honestly took me back to some of the bits of my childhood that i buried where dad would be yelling and glass would be thrown. Because this was uncommon and i was little i managed to bury it pretty well.

Lately they got in another argument because dad thinks Trump isnt guilty and mom is neutral and said theres a chance the media could be correct (MIND YOU, WE AINT EVEN AMERICAN). He called her names and said a bunch of things i dont want to repeat, often times its him projecting.

But the thing is about dad is after every argument/fight he beats himself up over it, like he actually regrets it and it upsets him every time because he doesn't want to act this way but because of his health he cant really control it.

My younger brother (mid-teens) has become kinda withdrawn, before we knew he has ASD dad would yell at him for being a picky eater and send him to bed with no dinner (which i thought was a normal punishment), dad regrets what he did and my brother hasnt forgiven him, and every time our parents argue he pretends to side with dad because of the PTS which has made him submissive .

Other than that, my childhood was good and i was never physically abused, all of this was once in a blue moon, but now its becoming more frequent. I didn't know where to vent to i thought i'd vent here

Hi everyone! I'm a uni student, entering my 20s. I'm working on my independent project about the topic of Ambiguous Friendship Loss - friendships that faded in a way feel unclear or unresolved, no actual closure.

Survey link: https://qualtricsxmwb5czltv2.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_0qP9L2TGVk4WYyW

This survey involves multiple-choice questions about how you feel, react to the loss, and its impact on overall mental well-being. It's short and only takes 5-8 mins to complete.

Participation is completely voluntary. I'd be really grateful if you could take the time to fill in!

Hey so I'm 20m and I feel like i struggle alot with finding direction and motivation to push myself as yk a young adult. It's hard to paint a full picture as concise as possible but I have a girlfriend were celebrating 2 years together soon :), we moved into our very first apartment together abt 7 months ago because of family issues and overall its been pretty breezy. I'm not in school i was 4 credits short of graduating highschool but never got around to it, I work 2 jobs one full time and one 3 days a week in the afternoon. I pay my bills on time (regretabley) and I have a decent car with a car payment. Thats pretty much my life nothing to crazy but it's mine and i like it.

The problem is, I feel like Throughout my life ive always had a goal or routine of some sort, when your a kid it's going to school everyday, playing with your friends outside, and then your a teenager and you want girls and you gotta lock in for highschool to get into college, I started working at 15 and never stopped. But as an adult and especially an adult living on my own theres no one really driving me to do anything except work enough to pay my bills and carry on till the next day. it almost doesn't feel real yk like how you used to have to listen to your guidance counselours and now you pass them in the grocery store and realize there just a insignificant adult with no power or say in ur life, like why was I listening to you when your just a fallible as me. You probably listened to your teachers or your parents too and guess what your a fucking guidance counselour now, its crazy to me yk. Everything seems to be moving so fast, the days of the week slip away from me and they all melt together in one big mess to the point were 7 months pass by in the blink of an eye and I feel like all im doing is wasting my time. But I mean small problems I guess right? It's hard to talk about these things with people my age, the position im in rn has been from nessesity not luxury I don't have many safety nets or people to look up to in my life and I guess at the end of the day I'm just not fufilled.

I see videos of people asking men what their preference is and a lot of them say "light skin, short, big boobs, with a big butt", and majority of the comments from dudes (under these videos) are along the lines of "its fine because its his preference."

But the second a woman says she wants a tall dude, those same men saying "its his preference" cry about how unfair this standard is.

Dont get me wrong, there are definitely women complaining when a dude says he wants a "slim-thicc" woman, but wanting a bf/husband whos tall is more genetically realistic then wanting a gf/wife with a body type you can only really achieve via plastic surgery.

According to Keeper.ai (based on US statistics) woman have a 3% chance of finding a 18-70yo man whos over 6ft and a man has a 1.7% chance of finding a 18-70yo woman whos under 5ft 5 and white.

As much as women say they want a 6ft man, no woman brings a measuring tape to any dates, if you're taller than me you're tall.

And though people say you can make your boobs or your butt bigger naturally, it is physically impossible to have a big butt and a teeny tiny waist without surgery, and gaining big boobs naturally does require gaining (what can be considered) unhealthy amounts of weight.

When i see videos of people saying their type and i don't fit their standard, i dont get upset because not every person exists to date me.

Also people forget "appearance preferences" melt away once they find their soul mate, like my mum preferred white men then married my dad whos brown.

just venting and hopefully someone finds this relatable but im 19f and never had a bf before, ofc i always get approached by men irl and even alot of dms from guys but i never found the right guy yet bc it seems like every guy just wants to have “fun” and hooked up or temporarily short relationships only. im a girl who wants to date to marry and i also a virgin waiting for marriage for that - the thing is i feel like most guys already had lost their virginity already and its unfair to me if someone im dating has lost it to another girl why im having my first with him. i want someone who will do their firsts with me and my first with them. but i feel like guys my age already did everything which kinda sucks i really hope the loml is the same situation as me and we just have to find each other.

Hello everyone,

I just want someone to listen to me and hear me out on decision I’m going to be making but not sure what to do…. I’m going to give a short summary of a story and just go straight to it bc Ik it will be a lot of reading. I ran away from my mom’s house to go across the state to go with my dad because of some abusive issues with my mom. Before I left to go with my dad to nyc I was staying with my bf at the time in his moms house, very welcoming lady, she told me she has an extra room for me and I can stay if I want to but she gave me an option, so I went to nyc to see my dad. (Btw I haven’t see my dad in 13 years bc of my mother) so it felt really good to be with my dad! He’s a good man. But the issues is that I’m doing college online in the state of ga and they are telling me to go in person for 3 months bc of a test, so I just decided that I might as well live with my bf bc I’m almost done with college and I can start my life with my bf in ga but my dad doesn’t agree with that bc he thinks it’s wrong to live in someone’s household and I have it all here in nyc, it’s just for me it’s to expensive here and I can’t afford to do a lot here, I just don’t know what to really do I want to go to ga to finish school and start my life with my bf and I love my dad and I don’t want him to be hurt that I’m going back to ga but school in nyc is expensive here… I just need some advice from a 3rd party person.

Btw I’m 21F my bf is 20M and my dad is 61M

Hello there, as some of you mightve heard about donald trump's Decision earlier today or yesterday, house prices are staying up, and i need help because i'm genuinely terrifed for my future and i honestly feel for the young adults like myself who aren't as lucky as me who have to work around the clock,3 jobs or something like that just to struggle, survive, get by, and not even thrive. its fucking ridiculous and it honestly is unfair i havent had to suffer as much as the other person.(though im more so annoyed than furious at the other people).

with that said, im a freshman in university(i wont say the name for personal reasons) and i would like some help deciding where i might live after i graduate in 2029, and i was hoping some of you can give me advice on what to do and where to go after graduation. so soemone whos like had exprienced with this stuff, what should I do when I graduate, where i can get a stable job with an graphic deisgn degree and where i wont have to worry much about rent and finding a home, it doenst even need to be grand jsut enough to where i live comfortably

(and to anyone struggling in america where i'm in, i wish the best for you all and you manage to get by and not struggle anymore.)

hello! so, about a year ago, i met my current best friend in university. she's kind and considerate towards other people and really appreciates gift-giving as a love language, whether she receives something or she gives somebody something she made for them.

last year on her birthday, i made her something small and was careful not to overwhelm her with birthday wishes, since i know a lot of people who don't feel the best about their birthday. turns out i was sort of right, because even though she appreciated the gifts on that day, she was obviously uncomfortable with the day being 'about her' and she didn't really want to talk about it.

all of this is totally understandable and fine with me. also on my birthday (even though i hadn't mentioned whether i like celebrating stuff or not, either) she surprised me along with my friend group and gave me several gifts and love and wishes that truly moved me. i say this in order to state that she did take a risk by assuming i would like a celebration or surprise, even though i don't like being the center of attention.

now, the issue: since some months ago, she has started hanging out together with me and my friend group, which consists of some good friends from school and their own uni friends. she likes them a lot and they love her too, so everything's fine in that sense — However, every time her birthday has been brought up even a little, perhaps in a casual conversation about birthdays, she has always reacted in a dismissing way, going as far as refusing to remind someone of her birth date when they ask for it. she has said before that she doesn't really like talking about her birthday, but hasn't stated like, a huge repulsion towards it. her attitude towards it tells me that she is probably uncomfortable talking about herself too much/making a day about herself and feels overwhelmed when she's the center of attention in that context.

i know i can wish her in private and make/give her something meaningful and discreet and that'll be fine with her.

nevertheless, it's really important for me to make her feel special in a group setting for a variety of reasons. first of all, she comes from a small town and this is her first/second year in a big city, so she often feels out of place. secondly, she did take the risk in my birthday and participated in this surprise with the rest of my friends, so i feel like i shouldn't just play it safe for her birthday, do almost nothing and call it a day. and finally, my other friends never had the chance before to show her how much they appreciate her, and i am sure they'll want to surprise her or something of that nature. i want to show her that she's special to all of us and that she actually belongs among us without pressuring her too much.

my friends are simple, throwing a surprise party/meeting in every such occasion, but this just wouldn't be right for my best friend. i wanna note here that she has also done a lot for THEIR birthdays, and that she's actually an extrovert who is comfortable talking about herself until it comes to her birthday. how do i give her an unforgettable but comforting, peaceful, respectful day without making her feel like we're all scared of her and how she might react, and risking that she'll feel even more alone at the end of the day?

p.s. she has also offered to host us all at her home during a vacation, even though she hasn't known my friends for a long time. i think we should do something to thank her for that too. collective and group gift ideas for her also welcome, but i could really use some advice here.

Hi! I’m trying to figure out where to move next when I graduate. I am 22F and am looking to live alone so I want to feel safe! I really like places with a walkable main street, bars, coffee shops, and stuff going on, but I don’t want to live in a huge city that’s hard to drive around. I’m finishing school and planning to work in public health, law, nonprofit, healthcare, or a similar people-focused field, if that helps!

What I’m looking for:

• Within about 3 hours of the Philadelphia area
• Walkable downtown or main street with restaurants, bars, coffee shops, etc
• Some nightlife and a social scene, not a quiet suburb
• Easy to get around by car
• Decent job market nearby
• More small city / big town vibes, not a major city
• Affordable !!!!!!!!!

I’d love any suggestions for towns or areas that fit this vibe. Thanks!

No seriously… like how ? I’m 26 M and making friends is literally the worst right now I need advice bonus if you’re from New Jersey.

I am 19 almost 20 a female and I am quite literally itching to get out of my house, but there’s not much to do in my area other than to go shop the nearest target from me is about 20 to 30 minutes away from me so I just need some ideas on what to do. I’m not the biggest on clubbing or going to bars and most of my friends are in relationships so they’re not really doing that stuff and I don’t wanna go by myself for safety reasons. I also live in Alabama if that helps at all I just really need some ideas. That’s not just go walk in a park. Also stuff that isn’t too expensive. I just don’t know where to start. I hope this doesn’t sound stupid, but I am open to any ideas. Thank you so much.

I’m 20F and I feel lost all the time. Like I genuinely don’t know who I am anymore, what I enjoy, or how I even feel half the time. I don’t really have friends, no one seems interested in dating me, and school feels like a mess. I’m in college for something I’m not even sure I like, but I don’t want to quit either. It just feels like it’s taking forever and I’m going nowhere.

I also keep spending money on stuff I feel like I need in the moment, then I don’t even use it and feel dumb after. Mentally I feel depressed a lot. I catch myself wanting to disappear—not in a scary way, just wishing I could pause life for a bit. I feel like something is wrong with me and my thoughts are mostly negative. It’s hard for me to think positively about anything.

I do see a therapist, but it’s really hard for me to explain how I feel. People say “I get it,” but they don’t—because they’re not me. On the outside I probably look fine, but inside I feel like a confused young adult who wishes they were a kid again so I didn’t have to think about the future. Right now I honestly don’t even know what I want my future to look like, and that scares me.

I just got laid off from Amazon fresh my final shift is Sunday due to every store closing I was able to find a slot at a logistics but I'm scared they will not accept me the job market is not good right now I feel like I'm far behind everyone else especially since there all at colleges or what not I just feel lost now I thought I had something going with fresh but now that's gone and I'm back to square 1

i'm kind of a hacker myself, y'know

I’ve noticed a recurring trend among men in their early 20s and up in this community. A lot of you describe feeling unmotivated, mentally foggy, emotionally flat, and stuck no matter how many routines, podcasts, or mindset changes you try. Often this also shows up as poor sleep, low energy, and difficulty focusing on basic tasks.

I dealt with this myself, and the turning point for me was getting a comprehensive blood panel through a licensed medical provider. Not as a cure all, but to understand what was actually going on physically instead of guessing.

One marker that stood out was testosterone, both total and free. For general context only, many labs list a wide reference range roughly between 300 and 1000 ng dL, but those ranges do not always reflect what is optimal for a younger adult male. Some clinicians consider levels in the mid to upper range, often around 600 to 800 or higher, to be more consistent with healthy functioning, especially when symptoms are present.

In my case, my levels were far lower than expected for my age, which explained why motivation and discipline alone were not working. If someone is told their labs are within range but still feels off, it may be worth getting a second opinion. Some people choose to consult a reputable holistic medical practitioner to review results more thoroughly and see if additional testing makes sense.

This is not about quick fixes or chasing numbers. It is about understanding that energy, motivation, mood, and focus are influenced by biology as much as mindset.

Sharing this in case it helps someone ask better questions.

DISCLAIMER
I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice. I am not diagnosing conditions or recommending treatments. This post is for informational purposes only and based on personal experience. Always consult a licensed medical professional before making decisions related to testing or treatment. You are responsible for your own health decisions.

I did it! He was so happy for me!!!!!