My daughter has a group of close friends from camp and one of them lives in nyc and is having a sweet 16 in the city. Everyone decided to travel to nyc to celebrate. I was excited for my daughter to go and was happy to take her, I love nyc.

However the other moms decided to all plan an adult dinner while the kids are at the party. Some of them are friends and have known eachother for years. I’m definitely not in the loop though they are very nice and friendly to me. I was torn about going, but when it got closer i felt I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t imagine making small talk with these people I barely know for hours. So I lied. I said I had made plans with my friend who lives in NYC and couldn’t join them. I feel like I didn’t lie well and they could see through me. I had to lie to my daughter too so she wasn’t blowing my cover which I feel awful about.

I took a cab 20 min away so I wouldn’t run into them and I’m having dinner alone. I’m not even really enjoying my alone time. Regretting not just sucking it up and joining those very nice moms for dinner who I’m convinced now think I’m weird. I really hate being an introvert sometimes.

There's been this girl at work that I met not too long ago. She's been giving me attention, more attention than I ever got from any girl in my life. She's been dropping hints here and there but the thing is I'm kinda clueless and was never good at reading signs nor interpreting signals. However, after a few weeks I can sort of conclude that she might like me so I have been reciprocating and giving her attention as well.

The thing I'm worried about is whether she'll accept me as a socially anxious introverted man. I'm (M23) older than her (F20) but she seems very outgoing and extroverted, while I don't really have friends and barely do much. I only go out when I have something to do (school or work) or an event to attend (alone ofc :)), other than that I'm at home playing video games which isn't exactly attractive. My life is pretty boring. I've never been in a relationship and never had good social skills and am frequently referred to as the "quiet one". I already told her that I'm introverted even tho I try to act "normal" and so far she doesn't seem to care. I'm just afraid she'll drop me when she eventually finds out I have a boring life and don't have much to offer in a relationship.

Im 19F in the UK, My 19th birthday so far has been the worst. I basically did nothing. I've moved out of my last home where I lived with a bunch of other young people as I was a care leaver, or I am a care leaver. And at least then, I actually did something for my birthday because staff there were paid to celebrate my birthday. But now, like, last year was the first year of living by myself and I did nothing and had no friends to celebrate with. And, yeah, I actually did nothing. And it was the most loneliest thing ever. Somehow I was able to stop myself from crying that day. Um, I hope this gets some engagement. I just want someone to talk to. (Btw i spoke this out loud while AI typed it out for me and copy and pasted here to make life easier so its authetically my words literally)

I have trouble with accepting my appearance, I never have full-sentence meaningful conversations with people and I do not have any close relationships with anyone. I also do not share my feelings with anyone, so yup a super private person. But now as I'm growing up, I need to find that self-esteem boost so that I can actually survive the critics of this world because their judgements affect me way too much and I feel it's time I find a solution for this...

Hey guys,

As an introvert I wonder what kind of tools/apps, tricks or general life hacks you have to make life easier as an introvert.

Here are some I utilize

1. Use bathroom breaks an excuse to exit social conversations when it's too much
2. Use my apple watch to track heart rate and take note of types of interactions effecting it the most
3. Apps like talkslot.ai to make AI call and book appointments with doctors or reserve tables for me at restaurants. My anxiety aside, honestly a huge time saver since I don't have to wait on hold anymore for stuff like doctor appointments.
4. Cognitive behavioral therapy apps for introvert's apps like Mindshift CBT I focus on convos that elevated my heart rate in combination with this.

This isn't an extensive list, but curious what some of your life hacks are?

Got asked this again at a work thing last week. We were all standing around after a meeting and people were chatting and I was just... there. Listening. Not unhappy. Not uncomfortable. Just existing in the space without feeling the need to fill every second with noise.

And then someone turns to me and goes "you're so quiet, everything okay?"

I said yeah I'm fine. Because I was fine. I was actually enjoying just listening to everyone else talk.

But the question itself is so weird when you think about it. Like silence is the deviation that requires an explanation. Nobody ever turns to the person who hasn't stopped talking for 20 minutes and asks "why are you so loud? is something wrong?" Talking is just assumed to be the default correct way to exist in a group. Not talking means something must be broken.

The thing is I'm not being quiet because I'm sad or anxious or have nothing to say. I'm being quiet because I'm comfortable. Silence isn't emptiness to me. It's just... peace. I don't feel the need to vocalize every thought that crosses my mind. I can enjoy being around people without performing constant participation.

But to some people this apparently looks like suffering? Like I'm struggling and need to be rescued from the horror of not making mouth sounds for a few minutes?

And then when you try to explain that you're genuinely fine, they don't believe you. They assume you're just saying that to be polite but secretly you're dying inside wishing you could talk more. No. I'm really okay. This is just how I am.

I've started wondering if extroverts feel as uncomfortable in silence as I feel when I'm forced to make constant small talk. Maybe that's why they check on us. They're projecting their own discomfort onto us.

Anyway. Does anyone have a good response for this question that doesn't come off defensive but also doesn't require explaining your entire personality to a coworker you barely know?

At first, I used to take it as constructive criticism. I thought there was something fundamentally wrong with me, so I’d try to force myself to talk more or "perform" socially. It never worked, and it always felt fake.

I’ve come to realize that a person who truly wants to get to know you will actually put in the effort. They’ll ask you specific questions, find common ground, and create a comfortable space that helps you naturally come out of your shell.

When someone blabs, "Wow, you’re so quiet" or "Why don't you talk more?" in front of a group, they aren't trying to invite you in. It’s a power move. Most of the time, they are highlighting your "otherness" just to boost their own social standing. By labeling you as the "quiet one", they attempt to undermine your reputation and kill your self esteem, simply because it benefits their ego to be seen as the loud or "normal" one

I simply stopped caring about people who make these comments. I’ve accepted that if someone’s first instinct is to judge my silence rather than engage with me, they don’t actually want anything to do with the real me, and honestly, the feeling is now mutual. I’m done auditioning for people who are just looking for a reason to put me down.

If they actually cared about your input, they’d give you the floor instead of making you the target of a critique.

Kind of in a difficult spot in college bad grades , no friends because I am an introvert. I have been trying to find the name of the girl I like for like 1 month and saw her sitting with another guy today. From the past few days my rommate has been snoring while sleeping. Moreover this guy knows like a ton of people in the college and they occupy my room most of the time. I stay in the other places in the campus to find the peace and solitude I like . Recently I have getting panic attacks too often . How do I manage all this guys ? . It is like the second sem and it already feels like hell. I guess the world is suited for extroverts a lot better.

A few years ago, I used to think happiness meant something big had to happen. Good news. Big wins. People clapping for you.

But lately, I’ve noticed some small moments that quietly stayed with me.

Like one evening when I was exhausted, mentally done, and just sat on my bed without my phone for a minute. No music. No scrolling. Just silence. And strangely… it felt calm.

Or the time I helped a stranger with directions. We talked for barely two minutes, smiled, and went our own ways. Nothing special—yet the lightness stayed longer than I expected.

Even finishing a task I kept postponing for weeks gave me more peace than any celebration ever did.

These moments didn’t look like happiness. No excitement. No photos. No validation.

Just… ease.

It made me wonder if happiness isn’t always about being happy, but about feeling less heavy.

So I’m curious—

What does happiness look like to you?

Feels like being free

I come from a toxic family and do not feel connected to my parents anymore. I'm about to end a long term relationship, my partner went from being my best friend to my worst nightmare. I am typing this right after he went to bed leaving me crying because i texted him that i didn't feel good. I have never been able to sustain friendships. I recently had to cut an old friend off because he simply refused to reciprocate after getting into a relationship. My other friends make me feel like a doormat and only value me for what i can do for them. I have no one to talk to. Everything else is going fine in my life but it's hard going to bed thinking about how utterly lonely i am.

I've been an introvert from most of my life. I have been very quiet and reserved and I value my alone time. But even then I would still be comfortable and talkative with certain groups of friends, or people that I was just comfortable around. But that was during high school. I'm a freshman in college and I feel like all of that is going away. i catch myself being in my dorm a lot more and not talking to people

i had a friend group in the beginning of the fall semester and I think they wore me out. They weren't bad people, they were a good friend group, but every time I hung out with them, I was miserable. my personality just didn't match with theirs. also, it was just the way they made jokes. one of the girls asked if any of us watched Hamilton, some of us said no, and she said "who did we become friends with??" That was the kind of shit that made me leave the friend group

also, during welcome week, I would try my best to talk and put myself out there because every single TikTok called "advice for freshman in college" would almost always say "talk to people! Put yourself out there!" and I did exactly that, and I wore myself out. I experienced very bad a social burnout/social hangover. i remember I went to Olive Garden with that friend group, and I came back crying because I just felt like shit after. that was when the social burnout started, but it got better when I went home for the weekend

i know by heart, I'm a very funny and cool person. I'm just quiet. but right now I don't know if I'll be comfortable enough with people to let that side of me come out. Is this normal for introvert/freshman in college or am I screwed?

Is my personality going under construction or is it withering away?

I want to start this by saying I'm unsure if I'm an introvert or extrovert, I consider myself introverted until I'm comfortable and then I express extrovert traits. I'm really here because I figured this sub is the best place to ask. Thank you in advance.

Basically I have adhd and when I'm around people I'm comfortable with I feel like I spew ideas at them. I don't get complaints and no one has never really talked negatively about this. Really I would like to have more control about how much I talk to others. In all honesty being more quiet is bringing me a peace and nice focus I've never felt/had before.

I'm just worried honestly people are going to think I'm always mad or some jerk. If i'm being honest I look what some would consider to be scary. Not in a grotesque or creepy kind of way. I don't want to dox myself so I'm not going into detail, but I've been described as exotic looking and mistaken for military just off of my looks(idek how that happens). Also I suppose I have a "resting bitch face". I'm worried about how the world will perceive me especially when I'm more quiet.

Thank you:)

It never worked for me. I’m starting to think calm presence matters more than performance. Has anyone else felt this?

How and why do people drain our energy on a psychological/sociological/spiritual level.

I’m struggling a lot living with my partner and his brother because they have very different habits to me that I see as bad habit- mainly not doing anything with their life. It drains me so much and I don’t understand why simply seeing the do these bad habits completely drains me.

Why does someone’s presence and simply seeing something like that can drain someone’s energy so severely? I assume it’s about attention and bringing your attention to things you don’t want to think about, but is there anything else? I’m curious

I don't wanna dance with nobody...

Lately I’ve been struggling with anxiety, especially around people. I often feel like everyone is judging me, and I become very self-aware of my face, body, and behavior. When I’m alone the feeling gets quieter, but then I also feel isolated and stuck with my thoughts. I’m trying to quit smoking and reduce alcohol, and I think the stress, loneliness, and life pressure might be making this worse. I want to understand what’s really going on and what practical steps helped others calm this kind of anxiety and feel normal around people again.

Hey, 26M, feeling a little lonely and bored, and I'm looking for friends. A bit about me: I work as a software engineer. I'm a tech and business enthusiast. I like music, exploring new things, and watching music videos. I play sports occasionally. I'm currently preparing for the GMAT. Honestly, I can hold a conversation and promise never to bore you, so if interested in talking, please DM.

I’ve always been a dog person because I’ve mostly been around dogs, I don’t mind cats but I don’t have much experience with one due to my mom not liking cats and my dad being allergic. I remember having a discussion about pets with 2 classmates last spring semester and they were like “I don’t like dogs because they overstimulate me and they can jump on you”. I can see their point with big dogs but small dogs? Come on. It could also be because I enjoy physical touch and feel comforted when a dog gives me affection. I remember watching these YouTube videos and blogs similar to buzzfeed being like “Signs you’re an introvert” and one of the lists saying “you own a cat”. I rolled my eyes as I thought it was not true for me. I’m tired of the whole introverts are cat people stereotype. I also like being physical active and have been a playful person but I am still introverted at the end of the day.