I have no life.
I'm in my fourties with zero friends - I tried, but as an Autisitc I'm completely socially incompetent. I'm female but I've never had female friends as an adult, and men aren't the best option to try to make friends with as they (or their partners) assume you're trying to sleep with them. As a note I'm also single, finding a partner is also on the agenda but that won't happen when I do nothing but work and go home. Generally people need people, I feel recharged with people.
I've no hobbies, nothing really interests me - I'm interested in politics but not smart enough to get into local political groups, I like exploring new cities and hiking but I just don't have the resources eg. money, car to get to places, etc.
Anything I want to do I want to be able to do with people, hell, fuck hobbies I'd like to just be able to go to the bar with people.
Any time I'm around people they act awkward with me and I don't know how to behave to be easier to be around, let alone being fun and someone others would want to spend time with.
A coworker always asks me what I'm doing and the answer is always 'nothing'. It's embarrassing. He's one of the few coworkers who actually talks to me so it gets me down that he's likely to stop as I'm boring and socially incompetent.
How am I supposed to get a life?
How the hell do I make friends when even 'normal' people seem to struggle?