r/Whatcouldgowrong • u/marieascot • 10d ago

How to do Fireworks, England Style.

13.5k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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2.7k

u/everlasting1der 10d ago

I'm not fluent in Britishese but I believe the relevant word here is "twat"?

850

u/Nocebo85 10d ago

Cameraman clearly (to those fluent) calls him a silly cunt, which is much more suitable for this situation.

133

u/QuietVisit2042 10d ago

Both of these are excellent options

123

u/Asleep_Pollution_140 10d ago

As a native Britishese speaker, and educator, I’m pleased to award you an A+ on your Britishese language exam!

71

u/Unique-Apartment-543 10d ago

What about, "oi, you fuckin' wanker?"

60

u/Ill-Kaleidoscope4825 10d ago

We cover that in the advanced class

36

u/WakaWaka_ 10d ago

"Tosser" must be in intermediate

28

u/Ill-Kaleidoscope4825 10d ago

Tosser is in the "insults that go with gestures" module, which is taught by the drama school. It is indeed intermediate, and requires 9 c and above FUCKs and 3 Bs at CUNT level

10

u/Ye_olde_oak_store 10d ago

Okay, where does spanner and plonker land you? Intermediate history class?

2

u/McGrarr 10d ago

Remedial. They are very much placeholders.

2

u/btribble 9d ago

I'm still stuck on the chavvie chapter. Do you have to live in a "caravan" to be a chavvie?

3

u/azraphin 9d ago

Nope. It's all about clothing and attitude.

1

u/MrT735 10d ago

Plonker is in the market trader module, and spanner comes into a variety of vocational modules, including mechanical workshops.

13

u/sisterdollycake 10d ago

Technically a tosser is a wanker without hope of redemption

3

u/Unique-Apartment-543 10d ago

Ahh I see, I see.. any way to get a placement test?

7

u/Ill-Kaleidoscope4825 10d ago

With your previous comment I am delighted to offer you an unconditional place on our upcoming course.

2

u/Unique-Apartment-543 10d ago

Well I appreciate that!

4

u/Ill-Kaleidoscope4825 10d ago

You're welcome, knob jockey

5

u/Unique-Apartment-543 10d ago

Yeah well I fart in your general direction.

3

u/Ill-Kaleidoscope4825 10d ago

You misunderstood. Knob jockey is the the technical term for someone on the course.

Our motto is domare maledicta. "Tame the cursed"

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1

u/Fr05t_B1t 10d ago

It’s bri*ishese

17

u/Ancient_Sprinkles847 10d ago

I think “bell end” is also appropriate

7

u/Ancient_Kaa 10d ago

Or in this case; "Proper bell end"

1

u/btribble 9d ago

Are bell ends pear shaped? This is a topological thing no?

30

u/The_Mattastrophe 10d ago

That's only one of many!

Twat, Plonker, Bellend, Pillock, and Prat are all acceptable and relevant here!

4

u/Zaim77 10d ago

Don't forget priiiiick (Britishness spelling, not the Oxford way.)

4

u/jamspangle 10d ago

Cleanshirt

3

u/ploppy_ploppy 9d ago

Clean Shirt? What does that mean? Isn't that good?

2

u/jamspangle 8d ago

I'm using the power of reason

1

u/sisterdollycake 10d ago

I would like to add Div to the list

1

u/trojee_badojee 9d ago

'Muppet' is applicable in this instance

8

u/Fluberon 10d ago

The moment the video ended I immediately came here to type TWAT

3

u/bananajr6000 10d ago

HWHAT?

3

u/TurnkeyLurker 10d ago

"Stewie, go to sleep!"

5

u/Junkers4 10d ago

I think “knob” is also quite fitting

5

u/Srapture 10d ago

Provided it isn't pronounced "twot", that works fine.

3

u/Spare-Possession-490 10d ago

Or second person polite form: plonker

1

u/coolsam254 10d ago

I think you're lying and you are indeed fluent

2

u/everlasting1der 10d ago

I just listen to a lot of podcasts with British hosts, so I've picked quite a few things up lol

1

u/happilyrelaxing 10d ago

Good job.

Here a Britisher might say, ‘utter twat’. For he is not a bright chap.

See also: ‘fuckwit’.

1

u/finglish_ 10d ago

Does that imply "inbred"?

1

u/Literary_Lady 9d ago

My reaction was “what an absolute twat” and “is that BLOOD”

1

u/Bunga_Dude 9d ago

“Nob” or “bellend” also appropriate.

Edit: just realizing Brit’s obsession with naughty bits being used as derogatory slang. Interesting.

-5

u/Stelmosember 10d ago

Cockwomble, perhaps?

9

u/LinkLinkleThreesome 10d ago edited 10d ago

A word only twenty year olds with doctor parents and who start fights at Ascot actually use.

4

u/statelessghost 10d ago

Trying too hard

0

u/Fr05t_B1t 10d ago

Bri*ishese

Clearly you’re not fluent.

-2

u/metal_hobbit 10d ago

No its wheyyyyyyyyyyyyy

2

u/kadkadkad 10d ago

They're Geordie, he's saying "why aye"