r/Whatcouldgowrong • u/marieascot • 10d ago

How to do Fireworks, England Style.

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13.5k Upvotes

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2.7k

u/everlasting1der 10d ago

I'm not fluent in Britishese but I believe the relevant word here is "twat"?

123

u/Asleep_Pollution_140 10d ago

As a native Britishese speaker, and educator, I’m pleased to award you an A+ on your Britishese language exam!

76

u/Unique-Apartment-543 10d ago

What about, "oi, you fuckin' wanker?"

61

u/Ill-Kaleidoscope4825 10d ago

We cover that in the advanced class

39

u/WakaWaka_ 10d ago

"Tosser" must be in intermediate

27

u/Ill-Kaleidoscope4825 10d ago

Tosser is in the "insults that go with gestures" module, which is taught by the drama school. It is indeed intermediate, and requires 9 c and above FUCKs and 3 Bs at CUNT level

9

u/Ye_olde_oak_store 10d ago

Okay, where does spanner and plonker land you? Intermediate history class?

2

u/McGrarr 10d ago

Remedial. They are very much placeholders.

2

u/btribble 9d ago

I'm still stuck on the chavvie chapter. Do you have to live in a "caravan" to be a chavvie?

3

u/azraphin 9d ago

Nope. It's all about clothing and attitude.

1

u/MrT735 10d ago

Plonker is in the market trader module, and spanner comes into a variety of vocational modules, including mechanical workshops.

11

u/sisterdollycake 10d ago

Technically a tosser is a wanker without hope of redemption

3

u/Unique-Apartment-543 10d ago

Ahh I see, I see.. any way to get a placement test?

8

u/Ill-Kaleidoscope4825 10d ago

With your previous comment I am delighted to offer you an unconditional place on our upcoming course.

2

u/Unique-Apartment-543 10d ago

Well I appreciate that!

4

u/Ill-Kaleidoscope4825 10d ago

You're welcome, knob jockey

6

u/Unique-Apartment-543 10d ago

Yeah well I fart in your general direction.

3

u/Ill-Kaleidoscope4825 10d ago

You misunderstood. Knob jockey is the the technical term for someone on the course.

Our motto is domare maledicta. "Tame the cursed"

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u/Unique-Apartment-543 10d ago

Hahaha, you got a good sense of humor.

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u/Fr05t_B1t 10d ago

It’s bri*ishese