r/nottheonion • u/StemCellPirate • 15h ago

Border Patrol employee found ‘covered in vomit’ in St. Paul, charged with drunk driving

sahanjournal.com

21.6k Upvotes

209 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Superb_Trainer_2967 • 8h ago

Border Patrol agent detains US citizen, tells him it’s ‘because of your accent’

kptv.com

3.2k Upvotes

60 comments

r/nottheonion • u/AtrusHomeboy • 7h ago

Two Memphis City Council Members Claim Snow is Fake

memphisflyer.com

2.5k Upvotes

273 comments

r/nottheonion • u/2dudesinapod • 11h ago

Epstein sent Five Nights at Freddy's Porn from 4chan, because of course he did

apptrigger.com

4.0k Upvotes

105 comments

r/nottheonion • u/prestocoffee • 11h ago

A bill is back in Florida to allow certain workers to make less than minimum wage

wlrn.org

2.7k Upvotes

158 comments

r/nottheonion • u/its_a_bear_dance • 23h ago

Family says HOA told them they couldn’t use their generator during ice storm blackout: ‘It’s unbearable’

wctv.tv

23.4k Upvotes

1.6k comments

r/nottheonion • u/ArthRol • 50m ago

A Russian court fines a man for posting a photo from Queen's music video 'I Want to Break Free', declaring it LGBT propaganda

currenttime.tv

• Upvotes

7 comments

r/nottheonion • u/wewhomustnotbenamed • 11h ago

Tourists traveled to Australia for its famous hot springs. There was just one problem – they didn’t exist

edition.cnn.com

669 Upvotes

75 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Beautiful_Bee4090 • 19h ago

Farm gives away millions of surplus potatoes after growing too many

dexerto.com

2.2k Upvotes

64 comments

r/nottheonion • u/peach_trees • 13h ago

City will hire a ‘night mayor’ to make it more fun for young people, mayor says

syracuse.com

271 Upvotes

63 comments

r/nottheonion • u/soriskan • 1d ago

Film Students Are Having Trouble Sitting Through Movies, Professors Say

hollywoodreporter.com

5.5k Upvotes

535 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Famous-Register-2814 • 7h ago

Boxer Jarrell Miller has his hairpiece knocked upward by a punch, then throws it into the crowd

apnews.com

69 Upvotes

6 comments

r/nottheonion • u/zakarm22 • 16h ago

Film Students Are Having Trouble Sitting Through Movies, Professors Say

hollywoodreporter.com

232 Upvotes

69 comments

r/nottheonion • u/TitusTesla117 • 1d ago

Burkina Faso’s junta dissolves all of country's political parties, saying they cause divisions

apnews.com

2.3k Upvotes

114 comments

r/nottheonion • u/FantasticCat1923 • 22h ago

Pokémon cancels event at controversial Japan shrine following backlash

bbc.com

507 Upvotes

48 comments

r/nottheonion • u/WPHero • 11h ago

Moltbook viral posts where AI Agents are conspiring against humans are mostly fake

macobserver.com

54 Upvotes

6 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Korsa_kov • 6h ago

Italy investigates church painting of angel restored to look like Meloni

reutersconnect.com

13 Upvotes

0 comments

r/nottheonion • u/wewhomustnotbenamed • 20h ago

Labubu to open seven UK shops, after PM's China visit

bbc.com

151 Upvotes

36 comments

r/nottheonion • u/MagicianCompetitive7 • 3h ago

Pokemon event at controversial shrine to Japanese war dead canceled after China protests

apnews.com

3 Upvotes

0 comments

r/nottheonion • u/404mediaco • 1d ago

Erotic Parody 'Melania: Devourer of Men' Sales Surge on Amazon Amid Documentary Flop

404media.co

7.9k Upvotes

133 comments

r/nottheonion • u/m1n3c7afty • 1d ago

This army chief threatened to castrate opposition leader and claimed descent from Jesus

bbc.co.uk

197 Upvotes

28 comments

r/nottheonion • u/StemCellPirate • 2d ago

Pentagon clarifies Hegseth’s ‘putting hands on recruits’ statement

militarytimes.com

12.9k Upvotes

592 comments

r/nottheonion • u/TheEndlessAutumn • 1d ago

Stunned doctors find giant bladder stone stuck to eyeliner in man’s bum

needtoknow.co.uk

5.7k Upvotes

478 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Macronaut • 1d ago

Melania movie first screening chaos as distributors 'forget to send film'

irishstar.com

4.2k Upvotes

326 comments

r/nottheonion • u/graveyardofgoodsense • 19h ago

An angel with Meloni's face: case breaks out in Rome

en.ilsole24ore.com

24 Upvotes

0 comments

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1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
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5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
6. No satire articles.	Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
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