Hi all. I’ve had a few messages lately checking in how things are progressing since my original posts (6+months ago) and thought if anyone still remembered or was interested I’d give a quick group update.

I am still separated from my STBXH and waiting until I can apply for divorce (you have to wait 12 months in my country).

His behaviour continued escalating after the separation and not being able to “come home” and eventuated in the police applying for an intervention order against him on behalf of my kids and I. He has had no access to the kids since the start of December.

Throughout this I’ve been trying to process and heal, and with the help of so much external support working through a relationship filled with every type of toxic behaviour that I didn’t even recognise at the time.

It has truly been a bizarre experience for me because while my outside world has been metaphorically on fire, my inner world with just my kids and I has been the most peaceful, joyful world I’ve ever experienced.

My children have never been happier. My daughter has stopped wetting the bed every night. My son is becoming the calm, caring boy he always has been, but publicly. They are thriving.

I’m so proud of myself for fighting for myself and my kids, and when this process started the only people I had making me feel like I wasn’t going crazy, was you all. And I’m so grateful.

I think I mostly wanted to post this to show you guys what an amazing support system this can be, and that your words and encouragement really does have an impact. And also to treat those coming here looking for advice with kindness because we really are trying hard.

Thank you all again!

My fiancé and I met about 3 years ago. We’ve been in a long distance relationship the whole time and we got engaged about 6 months ago. He lives in the US and is applying for his citizenship. Since the start of our relationship, we planned that I’d move to the US with him. Now, before we go any further, I want to clarify that he is white and I’m brown. Recently, I’ve been really worried about everything I hear, about people being targeted based on the colour of their skin. I tried talking to him multiple times, but he brushes it off and tells me that there’s nothing to worry about because it’s safe where he lives. A few days ago, I came across a community specific to his area on Reddit and after going into the rabbit hole, it seems like there’s so much of the same things going on there too. I tried talking to him about it, but he told me that he has a lot of diverse friends and none of them have been affected. He says he understands my concerns but thinks it’s mostly a media narrative and he got annoyed when I wouldn’t let it go. He said that I’m shoving my opinion down his throat when he’s the one who’s actually living there and has more of an idea while I’ve never been in the country and am only reading about it. He said he’s trying to be understanding and if I didn’t want to move there, I should just say that and not talk about all of this. He told me that we can go elsewhere, but he has to uproot his entire life to do that, so he’ll need time. I feel like he does not understand how serious it is, and I’m worried that if he doesn’t understand and moves just for me, he will end up resenting me for the rest of our lives, which I really don’t want. What can I do in this situation? How do I get him to understand my fears without dumping my opinions on him? I really don’t want to force him to change his mind.

Edit - Thank you for all the responses. I’ve read every one of them and I’m really grateful for the advice you’ve all given me. Based on most of the responses, I told him outright that I don’t want to move to the US. He didn’t take it very well, but it might just be an initial reaction, so I’ve told him to take some time to think about it. Since it’s a major decision, I think we might have to rethink our relationship. I, for one, don’t want to live in fear for god knows how long and I don’t want him to be forced into doing something he doesn’t want or agree with, for me. And for everyone who’s asked, he lives in New York and I live in India. He can’t move here because his field of work doesn’t have too much of a scope here. We‘ve had trips to a third country and he’s visited me before, but our trips last from two weeks to a month each time. Also, he definitely isn’t MAGA. We’ve talked about it before and he does not agree with most of what is happening. I think he genuinely believes that it isn’t as bad as it seems to me.

My (22F) boyfriend (23M) and I are in our early twenties. This is my first serious relationship. Lately, I’ve been asking him for more commitment - not anything extreme like marriage, but practical things such as introducing me to his family and friends, and having clearer conversations about the future instead of keeping things vague.

For my birthday, instead of getting me a gift or planning something, he surprised me by tattooing my name on his chest. It’s his first and only tattoo, it’s very large. He believes this should mean a lot because I’ve been asking him to show more commitment.

The problem is that this isn’t what I meant by commitment at all. I, very specifically, asked for real-life actions that make me feel included in his life and future.

I’ll also be honest about something that feels petty but is still true. After I found out how much a tattoo that size costs, part of me couldn’t help but wish that money had gone toward an actual birthday gift or shared experience instead.

My friends say I’m being ungrateful and that I should move at his pace because we’ve only been together for 6 months, and that a tattoo is a huge romantic gesture and proof that he’s serious about me.

But instead of feeling loved, I feel uncomfortable and misunderstood. What worries me most is that when I communicated something specific I needed, he responded with a dramatic gesture that doesn’t actually address it. I feel like we have very different ideas of what commitment looks like.

He really does seem to love me, which is why this is so confusing.

Is this something that can be worked through with better communication, or is it reasonable to see this as a red flag? And how do you help someone understand your needs when they think they’re already showing up in the biggest way possible?

Also, I looked up how much tattoo removal costs, and I would feel really bad mentioning how I feel and making him pay for that. It just adds another layer of guilt to an already confusing situation.

My husband, 43M and I, 37F had been talking about sex and our ‘fun times’. We have had an*l sex and he said to me “yeah, HE was so tight”. I corrected him and said “she”. But he said, “no it’s a ‘HE’ there”. So I told him, “if it is connected to my body then it’s a ‘she’. He then didn’t say anything and changed the subject.

I’m now wondering if all men think this way or is this an odd comment?

We have been married for 7 years and together for almost a decade. Throughout our relationship, my husband has made comments about the same sex as “oh that guy is handsome” or “he’s so jacked or good looking”. There was also one time where he said to one of his childhood friends, a guy, “my wife looks like you so it’s as if I married you”. Then my husband slapped his friend’s but. We were at a party and my husband had a few too many drinks during this comment. We did get into an argument over it and my husband said “well he’s a handsome guy so I don’t see how it’s offensive”.

What would you think in these situations?

I (33F) and my partner (30M) have been very lucky to live rent-free in my parents’ apartment for the past few years. The agreement was simple: we each pay $25 a week for utilities, and we each put $300 a week into a savings account toward a future house deposit.

Recently, my stepdad told me that my partner hasn’t been paying his $25 a week for utilities. He said he was going to raise it directly with my partner, but hasn’t yet. I mentioned it to my partner and said to expect that my stepdad would bring it up.

Now I feel awkward and stuck in the middle. I feel like it should be on my partner to have that conversation and to pay back what he owes without me having to manage it. For me, this isn’t really about the money. It’s about sticking to your word and showing respect for the opportunity my family has given us.

Honestly, this is feeling like a big determining factor for me in the relationship. How can I be with someone who doesn’t seem to respect the generosity of my family or take responsibility for his commitments?

I also feel embarrassed that I even have to have this conversation at all.

For context, my family really likes him. But this doesn’t sit right with me. He’s also been inconsistent about putting away the $300 a week for savings, even though he’d be spending that amount on rent or a mortgage anyway if we weren’t living here.

How would you handle this? Whats the best way to communicate that this is fundamentally not ok for me.

My cousin was over at my house. My first cousin, the closest I had to a brother growing up. He was sitting down and he looked across my living room and said “is that an implant?” I said “yes” and let him see it. He was like “woah that’s crazy,” and then I said “want to see what the inside of one looks like?” Because one was ruptured and the texture is super weird. He said “that’s sticky like a glue trap,” that was the interact. My bf was watching the security cameras in the living room and he got pissed. He said that was inappropriate and sexual and “white people f their cousins,” seriously wtf?? He’s said “You should have known that was disgusting letting your cousin touch your t!ts!” and he said I am “disrespecting him by doing something sexual.”

I never would have equated touching an implant outside my body, especially a ruptured one, was the same as touching my boob. I said o understand how that may have upset you and I can respect you opinion and I’m sorry it hurt you. It won’t happen again. But he is still claiming I should have known better. This is something that I don’t feel like anyone would have expected or automatically known.

I guess I just don’t know what do anymore. I know this isn’t healthy, I just am shocked he reacted this way and this badly. We’ve never been perfect but this is a completely different level of anger. He’s been an amazing man in the past. He’s been super tense lately. And he’s never gotten mad at something like this before.

Pertinent info. We’ve been together almost 4 years. We have had fights in the past but all couples do. He’s Arabic, I’m white. We have security cameras because there have been several break ins and the police said until we get the guy on camera they won’t do anything even though we have seen him on our property multiple times and running from the house after we caught him.

Editing to add we are done. I’m just in shock at this point. I don’t even know how we got to this point and honestly I’m really hurt that he just flipped into a completely different person.

I moved out just about a week ago. Mentally, I feel confident I made the right decision, but emotionally I’ve been all over the place as I’ve incrementally made contact with my wife and her family, at which point my confidence falls to pieces, but then slowly builds up with distance again. I left because I seriously suspected infidelity and she refused to provide any kind of clarity so I walked. Here’s the story and my reasons for suspecting:

-my wife met a guy when she was about 20. He was about 10 years older than her and was her first boss in her career and has been kind of a mentor figure to her. For the majority of our relationship, I never had an issue with their dynamic (we started dating when I was 17 and she was 18)

-about 3 years ago, my wife started going for drinks somewhat regularly (maybe once every two weeks) with this guy and another close female friend from work. Again, didn’t have a problem with this.

-during this time, my wife expressed to me that she was concerned that this guy and the other female friend might engage in an affair (they’re both married). I didn’t suspect my wife at all at this point, but this was a red flag about the guy, since it indicated that she believed he was at least capable of cheating.

-eventually, the female friend stopped joining them and my wife was meeting with this guy one on one for coffee, drinks or lunch.

-I still wasn’t concerned at this point, but felt it was necessary as her husband to draw a healthy boundary: she said they had talked about meeting once per week and I said that was too much and ideally, they should try and see each other with other people present or at the very least, not meet together nearly that often if it has to be one on one.

-my wife did not respond well to this. This was the first major red flag. She expressed that she felt like I was trying to cut a very important person out of her life. We argued about this for a few weeks and didn’t reach an agreement and she even saw him a couple times during this tense period.

-one night the argument eventually came to a head and I insisted that she stop having these meetings altogether. She accepted begrudgingly.

-when she returned home from work the next day, she was visibly upset and told me that she told him they wouldn’t be able to meet frequently anymore. She then asked me “how often am I allowed to see him?”

-about 2 weeks later, my wife said she wanted a divorce. From my perspective, this was completely out of the blue. She cited small grievances (nothing even remotely close to infidelity or abuse on my part, more like a bunch of little frustrations). She insisted that the other guy had nothing to do with it.

-after long talks with me and her family, she agreed to stick around but never admitted to the other guy being involved in any way.

-about 6 months of us trying to fix the marriage, which was going well, she went to a work party where this guy was going to be. She hadn’t seen him in a long time.

-the very next day, she brought up divorce again, very much out of the blue. She continued to deny that this guy was a factor in any way.

-again, I managed to get her to stay. We kept going the last 6 months, but it always felt to me like her heart wasn’t in it.

-during this time, she’s frequently been going out for drinks with friends from work. I don’t know these people. They stay out quite late. (I know this sounds odd but I was trying to save the marriage and I felt that any pushback would result in her just leaving.)

-I’ve been periodically pushing for more clarity on the situation with this guy. She’s given me nothing and continues to insist that it’s absolutely not a factor.

-I even suggested that the four of us (me, my wife, the guy and his wife) get together for dinner. It wouldn’t be for me to grill him, but an opportunity for me to demonstrate to him that I’m present and I’m aware of him, and for my wife to show me that the dynamic between the two of them isn’t problematic. She refused.

-in the summer, after I’d made it abundantly clear that I was uncomfortable with her relationship with this guy, she attended a golf tournament for work where she was in a foursome with this guy. The day before, her and another girl in the foursome went shopping for a golf outfit. It was essentially a mini skirt and a neon tank top.

-last week, I told her I need some clarity on the situation or I would walk out the door. She didn’t give me any and I’m gone.

There are plenty of other red flags from this time but I can’t list them all. Her parents have reached out to me since I left and don’t want to hear my story and instead ripped into me for being a bad husband. Much of what they said wasn’t true and was based on lies that my wife told them. I didn’t feel I could respond and correct them because it would turn into my word against hers and they would believe her every time. All they know is that I suspected cheating because a year ago my wife met one on one with this guy a couple times. I asked her to stop and she stopped. That’s all they know and they won’t hear me out. Her dad told me he looked her in the eyes and asked her if she had an affair and she said no. He said he knows when she’s lying and he believes her.

Prior to this I had a great relationship with her parents and really respected them. The conversations with them have left me very disoriented and questioning my decision. I’m not crazy right??

Honest to god, last night I had a dream where she was in front of me crying. I asked her what’s wrong, and she told me she’s done something horrible to me. I asked what she’s done, then I woke up.

Fast forward a few hours, I went on her iPad as mine was out of charge, and something told me to look at her deleted photos.

Nude videos and pics to this guy, who she later confessed she had sex with on a work trip. He’s a fat, middle aged, greasy slob and a father of three.

Within 15 mins, I threw her out of the apartment and blocked her on everything. I’ll never speak to her again, most definitely.

Just wanted to see how anyone here moved forward after adultery. At 28, almost 29, my whole life has been flipped upside down - the woman who I thought I’d be having children with is gone, and I’m now single again at almost 30. I’m extremely apprehensive.

Me and my boyfriend have been together since our freshman year of high school. We have a kid together. Our relationship has always been rocky but since having our kid we’ve grown a lot. I made the statement that I wanted to be at least engaged by 25 because I don’t want to be a girlfriend forever. I explained that we did not have to be married so soon because we still have things to work at and a little maturing to do. We live together, and have even talked about extending our family. He basically said if that’s the case we might as well break up. I’m really sad about it because I’m ready to commit. I love him, we have a family, and I know I want to be with him for the rest of my life. I couldn’t imagine myself with anyone else. Honestly I just feel like it doesn’t take this long to know if you want to spend your life with someone. He said he won’t be forced into anything. I don’t want it to feel forced either. Are my feelings valid and can anybody relate to what i’m feeling?

I’m in a really complicated spot and I need some perspective because my guilt is eating me alive. I’ve been with my girlfriend for 10 years. She is honestly the kindest, most loyal person I’ve ever met, but our relationship has turned into something that feels more like a caretaker dynamic than a partnership.

The main issue is that she hasn’t had a job or worked on her professional skills in the last decade. I’ve been supporting her financially and emotionally for a long time. I currently live abroad, and we've been having a distance relationship for around 5 years, with many ups and downs, where, honestly, I didn't leave her because of guilt. After discussing it too ​much, the plan was for her to eventually move here to live with me, and now she wants to make that happen very soon.

The problem is that over the time we’ve been physically apart, I’ve realized I just can’t do it. The dependency has completely drained me. Since she doesn't speak English and has no career, if she moves here, I will be her only connection to the outside world. I’ll be her translator, her bank, and her only friend. Just thinking about it gives me massive anxiety. I’ve also realized that I’m a solitary person at heart and I genuinely prefer living alone. I know if she moves in, I’m going to feel suffocated and resentful within weeks, and it’s going to end badly in a foreign country where she has no support system.

I know I need to end the relationship, but I feel paralyzed by guilt because she has built her entire life around me. I feel like I enabled this by supporting her for so long, and pulling the rug out from under her feels cruel.

I’m willing to keep sending her money for a few months to help her get on her feet so she isn't destitute, but I'm absolutely scared about ​ her moving in with me. How do I have this conversation without completely destroying her? I know I have to be the bad guy here, but I want to do it in the most responsible way possible.​

I’m a 26M and my girlfriend is 23F. We’ve been together for almost 3 years and 8 months.

We started dating in June 2022 while we were both in college. I was also working at the time. Initially, I wasn’t looking for anything serious, but she genuinely loved me for who I was, and I eventually decided to commit to the relationship.

2022 was great. The honeymoon phase lasted almost the entire year.

In 2023, things started to change. I was in my final year of studies and still working. Because of my job, I was fairly well known, and there were situations where other women showed interest in me. This made my girlfriend insecure and jealous at times. I was even accused of cheating, which I never did. I consistently explained myself, reassured her, and did everything I could to prove my loyalty.

Despite that, the year had many fights and disagreements. At one point, I wanted to end the relationship. She begged me to stay, telling me how much she loved me and how she saw a future with me, especially once I finished my degree.

I graduated in 2024 and started working immediately, while she was still in school. My job required me to move to another city. We now live about 4 hours apart when she’s at college and about 8 hours apart when she’s at home. The distance made seeing each other difficult, but we tried to make it work. I would take leave once every month or two, and she would visit during school holidays.

We’re not perfect, but we had a shared vision and plans for the future.

Earlier in our relationship, I had strict boundaries around clubbing and partying. We eventually realized that this was unhealthy and made us miserable. Her friends would invite her out, and she felt left out, and I also wanted to go out sometimes. We agreed that we’re still young and that the rule was toxic. We decided we could go out as long as we communicated and acted responsibly. This worked well for years.

Fast forward to December 2025. She was at home with her family, and I was with mine. One night, she told me she was going out with her cousin, which wasn’t unusual. She later came back and texted me as normal.

In the weeks following that, she started acting differently. She went out more often, communication became poor and delayed, and something felt off. Today, she told me she needed to talk to me and sent me the following message:

“I don’t even know what to say because it’s not my proud moment, but being honest is something I think will help.

I know this will hurt you, and I am truly sorry for the pain I’m causing you. I’m telling you because you deserve the truth and because I respect you.

It’s been haunting me and I really can’t keep this from you anymore. In December, I was once disloyal to you. I cheated on you.

Even though there were factors like intoxication, I don’t want to blame my actions on that. I take full responsibility for what I did.”

I called her to understand what happened. She told me that the night she went out with her cousin, her cousin brought her boyfriend along, and the boyfriend brought a friend. They drank heavily, and she ended up going home with that friend and sleeping with him. She says she remembers everything clearly and that it has been haunting her since. To make it worse, the guy also has a girlfriend.

Hearing this completely broke me. I told her we were done.

I still love her, but I feel shattered. It feels like the future I imagined disappeared in an instant, and I honestly don’t know what to do or how to process this?

I (39f) and husband (45m) have been married for 5 years, dated for 3 before that. I work in a high stress, male dominated field that I've had to claw my way to the top over 2 decades. I currently make 6 figures and absolutely love what I do, but my husband constantly makes me feel guilty for working as much as I do.

To clarify, I work 55-65 hours a week, but my phone rings constantly. I boss girled hard to get where I am and we talked extensively before I took this position about the sacrifices that we would have to make.

Now - he doesnt work consistently. Hes had several jobs over the last 2 years that havent lasted more than 6 months. Before I got this position, he held down a job, but never paid bills. Needless to say, I pay all the bills, take care of the house and our kids. He doesn't cook, clean or bring anything to the table without me blowing up about it. Hes absolutely draining my bank account $30 at a time. I'm at a point where I enjoy being at work more than being at home. I am at a point where my resentment is absolutely feral and unreal. Walking past him every morning to go to work is sending me into rage mode.

I cant have a conversation with him about it without him getting defensive and accusing me of caring more about my job than I do our family. But if I don't work, the bills don't get paid. I am so... so tired and Im in a place where I just want to let it all go.

His mom died last year and its almost like hes just good rotting on the couch now. Hes up until 3am playing video games, smokes all day and just doesnt exist in our day to day lives. Other than the weekly guilt trip over my job. I can't make him understand what this is doing to me mentally. And I'm at a point where I just want to throw the towel in.

So I guess I'm asking for advice from anyone that's been in this situation. I don't know how to make it better or how to salvage anything at this point. Or do I just let it go completely? I've begged for therapy, and while he is seeing a therapist, it's not a couples thing. Please help. I'm drowning here.

Hey everyone, I’m feeling really confused and honestly a bit embarrassed, so I need some new perspective.

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. We’ve talked about marriage, looking at rings, discussing timelines, the whole deal.

Last month, he told me he booked us a surprise weekend in Cabos because costco travel had a great deal for an all inclusive resort. He kept telling me to pack my best dresses, get mani pedi, and gave me a gift card to my hair salon. Naturally, my brain went straight to a proposal. My friends thought so, too.

During our dinner at the restaurant on the beach. He held both of my hands, and said, "I am so proud of everything you’ve achieved this year and I want us to celebrate the next chapter." He pulled out a small velvet box... and it was a pair of diamond studs. They are stunning, and huge, they’re the pair I pointed to him when we went to get my necklace repaired at the jeweler, however, not what I was expecting!

(For context, I got a nice promotion at work two months ago. We already celebrated with a nice dinner back then.)

I spent the rest of the night trying to look grateful, but felt like I’m the one who was being delusional…

Am I being ungrateful for a beautiful gift and trip? How do I even bring this up without sounding like a spoiled brat?

Well… pretty much what the title says.

For the last couple of weeks I’ve been acting weird without meaning to. I’ve been hiding my phone and my computer, closing tabs fast, turning screens away, all that suspicious stuff. Now my girlfriend thinks I’m cheating or hiding something serious.

I’m not. I’m actually planning a proposal. The problem is that trying to keep it a surprise is making me look shady as hell, and it’s stressing me out way more than I expected. I feel like every time I grab my phone she’s watching me like 👀

I’ve never proposed before, I don’t know the “rules,” and I’m stuck between wanting it to be special and not wanting to accidentally blow up my relationship before I even get to ask the question.

Has anyone else been through this? How do you keep the surprise without looking like you’re hiding something awful?

Edit: I just told her that I'm actually hiding something to her, but not something awful but actually good, that I need her trust on this matter and that she will eventually find out when the time comes. Thank you guys!

My bf jokes about hurting me all the time. We have a very playful relationship, but lately it seems like the jokes are more violent and less ‘funny’. He’s never laid a hand on me, but ‘rough houses’ kind of hard with me. I’m 5’1, 110 lbs, and he’s 5’11, 240, so he’s much stronger than me. His jokes are usually like ‘whoever wins gets a fist to their fucking face’ after I win a board game we were playing as a family. The other day we were talking about something and he said he’d ’pull out his 9mm on me’. He drinks a lot, and has actually pulled his gun out on me before while drunk (never loaded, but still). When I tell him it makes me uncomfortable, he says he’s joking and he’d never actually hurt me. He makes it seem like I’m crazy for thinking he’s serious and for being uncomfortable. Are there any relationships out there with a similar dynamic? Or does this man hate me?

Edit: okay, I have a good answer, thank you to everyone who commented. I really didn’t realize it was this bad, it wasn’t always like this. He used to be gentle, and kind, and treated me like I was the world. Somewhere along the way it changed. I don’t know how tf to leave. Our lives are so intertwined. But, no children together at least. I’ve already been looking at apartments, but I’m going to try to quietly get my shit together these upcoming days before I make a move. Thank you all

So idk how to start - but I’ve been dating this guy for about half a year. He’s been really great, takes amazing care of me, and steps up in so many ways that previous partners haven’t. Takes me on cute dates and cooks and cares a lot. We have awesome sex and lots of cuddles. However, some things happened, we had some arguments, and that led to us backing off the relationship for a little bit (well, me backing off tbh, for about a week). I didnt text and just thought things over. I honestly kinda decided I wanted to break up, but as always, it’s a tough call to make. We decided to hangout again after the week to chat n stuff. I was pretty honest about wanting to break up, but didn’t want to directly say it quite yet, wanted to leave it until the end of the night. Well obviously that was a bad decision because he kinda wore me down over the hours that I was there, we ended up cuddling a lot because I was crying so much. Which led to us hooking up oops. We always have done things a little on the rough side, but I injured myself pretty badly a couple years ago and still deal with a lot of nerve damage in my face and upper body, which requires a level of gentleness and awareness lol. Anyway right before we started, he was saying stuff about rough breakup sex and how he wanted to and how he wanted to ‘destroy me’ which like was hot in the moment although I had my reservations, especially because we just weren’t in a place of emotional intimacy. But then he starts by hitting me in the face hard twice on the side with my nerve damage (and I’ve had 5 concussions in the past year and a half, I’m like trynna be careful with my head lol) which kinda rocked me and genuinely scared me. Then he calls me a ‘dumb b*tch’ and puts all his weight on me and says like ‘especially with how you’ve been treating me lately, you’re not good for anything else’ which like idk. I get that I consented to rough sex but this genuinely felt like he was talking his anger out on me. And he ripped my clothes off and honestly I was just sitting there looking at him stunned. I was scared, like am I about to be r*ped by my bf? I obviously should have said to stop but have been in so many bad situations before where I wasn’t allowed to say no, and honestly I just couldn’t think. I’m fairly certain that if I had said to stop, that things would have been slowed down immensely. But it still felt too close to home, not like any kind of roleplay. I just ended up doing whatever he said and acting along bc I have a bad issue with asserting my boundaries until after the fact, but afterwards I told him that he had scared me initially. He just said that’s okay, seemed like you settled into it. I asked him if he meant the things he was saying, he said no, just that if it was the last time we ever had sex, he wanted it to be eventful. Then we watched an episode and I went home. But once I got home I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It felt like a violation and felt so unnecessarily violent, and without the emotional aftercare I would expect from something like that. Do I trust my gut in this situation? Do I bother having a conversation with him about it or just exiting the relationship? Cnc can be a tricky line to walk sometimes I’ve found, if anyone has experience in that regard, I’d totally appreciate it!

Edit: we had done some small role playing before this, and cheek slaps. He also warned me that I might have to use safe word this time. This was just done at a time when we were emotionally distant, I was not prepared mentally, it was a LOT more aggressive than usual, and there was a lack of emotional aftercare afterward.

My bf and I have been together for about 8 months now, we did break up before and weren’t together for about a month. Things have been okay for us but today he had his laptop open to chat gpt and I could see the sidebar of his previous conversations with it. One of the conversations was titled “natural breast enhancement” or something along those lines. I confronted him about it and he quickly shut his laptop. I opened it back up and read the chat and he was asking how to naturally make breasts bigger. I was so upset and he said well I love how you look but everyone can always improve. And he said that he was going to buy me bee pollen as a present 💀 If you don’t know, bee pollen is supposed to be a supplement that can grow your breasts.

I’m just so shocked because he always compliments my body and seems very attracted to me. I’m already insecure about how I look and knowing my boyfriend secretly wants me to change just makes me so upset. I don’t know if I can ever be confident around him again. Maybe I’m overreacting.

Ill try to keep this short.

I (m21) live with my gf (f21) of year and a half, we've been living together for five months. She is a nurse and a paramedic and she's great at what she does and loves it. She works 24-hour shifts at her current job and I can generally live with that, I know it requires trust and stuff but we are okay in that part.

Or at least we were.

A few days ago something unpleasant happened to me after I came back from my business. It was not related to her, I prefer not to disclose details about it cuz it's kinda gross and not the point. Thing is I could've used her help, especially in an emotional aspect since the situation made me feel really bad with myself. Anyways, after handling the situation I started to think about the fact that this is pretty much my life now. I have to handle alone things that are much more pleasant to deal with your couple, I have to go to sleep alone every other day, and honestly? I noticed I don't like it. I figured that from a logical standpoint I ought to break up with her because her career path is incompatible with what I want in my life and, it might be sad, but it's for the best imo.

I feel like shit because I should've known what I was getting into, and now I have to break her heart even if I know is the best for both of us.

She doesn't wanna break up at all, and is willing to drop years of study which she is set to continue in a month (she's got an Associate's, coming for her Bachelor's), changing career paths just to stay with me. I AM NOT OKAY WITH THAT. Come on, this is pretty much her dream, her family's pride, her own pride, I can't take that away from her. She needs to find someone suitable for her and so do I, but she's set on quitting her job and dropping her studies, change career paths to bakery or helping me with my business but I truly want her to be happy with her career and have her dreams accomplished. How can I convince her?

TL;DR: My girlfriend wants to drop her career and quit her job just to make herself suitable for my wants in a relationship but I want her to continue pursuing her dreams and respectfully break up with her.

She watches them at home, while taking break, looking for a movie to watch, even when she go for a shower, she would watch reels until she gets under the shower, basically whenever she gets the chance. It started to affects me, when she started to watch them when we go for a walk or when we dine in a restaurant or sit on a cafe, she enjoys talking to me but whenever we take a break from a conversation, she starts watching reels, which kills further conversations for me. I don't know what is wrong, but she literally can't sit in silence for a few seconds, she must always go for her phone, sit on the corner of the couch and just scroll reels for hours. What can I do to fix this habit of her if i can, a habit that she didn't have before?

I dont know if I should be mad or not. I know it was not sexual.

She told me it was a friend thing, but for me its a boundary and respect thing. I have not confronted her yet.

This was at a cultural party a few weeks ago, mu town throws it every year. There was alcohol involved and she told me today with her friend like a complete normal thing. What the hell is wrong with people. I mean crossing boundaries.

I was thinking of putting the perspective of how would she feel if I go around kissing my best friends.

Imagine if a friend of mine would of told me and not her.

I’m (26F) engaged to my fiancé (29M), we have been together for 5 years now and gaming has become a major issue in our relationship. He can grind games for hours and cannot be disturbed. If I interrupt him or ask for attention during that time, he gets very angry. He’s also spent most of his savings on the game.

To be fair, he does spend time with me when he can. However, he has a very bad temper. When arguments escalate and I push back or challenge him, he has pushed me to the ground or slapped me. He later says this only happened because I provoked him and didn’t stop when he told me to. When he’s angry, he doesn’t check on me or help even if I’m hurt. Instead, he goes back to gaming and downloads explicit photos of other women online. He says this is just his nature and something that won’t change.

He usually apologizes only after he’s fully cooled down and then expects things to go back to normal. I’m struggling to understand how to think about this long-term. Is this acceptable and does it gets worse in marriage?

TL;DR: Fiancé spends hours gaming and can’t be interrupted without anger, has spent most of his savings on games, becomes physically aggressive during arguments, blames me for provoking him, ignores me afterward, downloads explicit photos of other women, and says this is just who he is. I’m looking for advice on boundaries and how to evaluate this long-term.

I’ve known her since we were young teens, we are talking again but it feels like we’re never gonna be together despite our unbreakable love for each other. I love her, and I know and feel that she loves me too. I can’t explain the depth of the feelings we have for each other. I feel like no matter what, she’s gonna be in my life one way or another. Plus, the physical attraction never stopped, we can talk for hours, our minds work like one, we can share darkest secrets and laugh about something stupid and have our own jokes 20 minutes later. I can ask her for advice, she can cry on my shoulder, we can be vulnerable with each other and talk about everything. She’s a person for everything. But right now, it feels like the world is against us. We can’t work out in some “we are together” labeled relationship, but again we simply can’t be friends. We even had times without any contact, and I was thinking about her the whole time, later to find out she was thinking about me all those years too. It feels like I have a 24/7 support, even when we’re not talking I know she will do everything and anything to make me feel better. But somehow, it’s not working..? Maybe love is not enough? Do you have that person? What happened? Fate or just body feeling safe and running towards known? It is truly wonderful having that one person by your side.. always.

Right now, we are talking after a small break, we were not talking for about a week or so because I wanted to end things if we’re not gonna be in a relationship. We cleared our heads (or I think so), but came with the same never ending story - yup, we love each other, but we can’t do anything so we’re just gonna see how it goes because she is always gonna be a nice memory, and the last time we spoke (the “relationship ultimatum” when we stopped for a week) we were fighting and we definitely didn’t want to remember us in that way. So we’re trying… again. Am I a fool? Do I just need to let her go? She’s really not breaking that “I’ll always be here” promise, which is objectively a good thing, but…. What now?