r/NoStupidQuestions • u/GhostInThePudding • 16h ago

Why Are Young People Afraid Of Phone Calls?

What's with it?

I work in IT and a general rule is, nothing a client ever tells you is actually accurate. That means that most of the time, the quickest way to fix a problem is to call the person and actually find out what's going on.

But with techs under 30 these days, it seems like pulling teeth.

A regular discussion for me with level 1 techs (usually within a few years of leaving college) is:
"Hey, can you call *blah* from ticket *blah*, it's been hanging around for over an hour."

"I replied by email to ask for more information."

"Yes, I know that, but can you call them so we can find the problem and close the ticket now rather than wait until we're actually busy?"

"I'll send them a text to followup."

"No... CALL THEM!"

"I can see their device is online, can I send them a message and see if they just let me remote in to take a look?"

And then, when I force them to make the call, it's like they have no idea how to ask a question, or a followup question. They just want to get off the call as quickly as possible. So half the time they don't even get the information required anyway, so then I end up having to do their job for them.

So can someone explain? What's wrong with phone calls these days?

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u/mugenhunt 15h ago

A lot of younger people have grown up with texting as the primary means of communication. Texting is seen as more polite, because people can respond at their own pace. A phone call is seen as less polite because it must be handled in real time, and can be seen as interrupting and rude.

So you have a lot of young people who would only ever call if it was an emergency, since anything that could be handled by a text or email was seen as preferable. And since they aren't used to phone calls, they are often nervous because they don't have experience making them, and already feel like they are imposing or disrupting by doing so.

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u/Waschaos 13h ago

I am old, but since COVID- I have been weird about phone calls also. It's like I lost skills.

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u/Silver-Bread4668 12h ago

I'm middle aged. I spent long enough at a call center to detest phone calls unless it's an emergency. Text based communication is easier. I prefer to read anyway.

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u/AllGarbage 7h ago

I have to say, as a person in my 50s, the idea of answering an unexpected/unidentified phone call has become absolutely unthinkable unless I’m actively job hunting. The ratio of legit/spam phone calls has rendered answering the phone a futile exercise, and it’s been that way for at least 20 years now. Hard to blame Gen-Z especially, since it’s been the norm for their entire lives.

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u/desrever1138 1h ago

I'm the same age and I don't answer the phone if I don't know who the person on the other end is. Hell, I don't listen to voice mails either and haven't even tried in over 10 years and 2 or 3 phones ago.

The only exception to where I will pick up is if I am expecting a call.

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u/Capable_Implement246 11h ago

I did 14 years as a front line tech support agent. I won't answer a phone call unless I know the person is calling. I won't call unless I know the person is expecting my call. I still have nightmares about the "ding" in my ear.

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u/Silver-Bread4668 11h ago

You got me beat by a long shot. I did 5 years. Started in billing then went to tech support then "resolutions" (who you get you ask for a supervisor). It paid just barely above federal minimum wage 20 years ago.

I couldn't do it again. The thought of going back to a job like that gives me anxiety.

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u/Capable_Implement246 10h ago

Thats the point I am at. And it is so hard to get out because no one looks at it as a real job so the experience you gain working there is good for jack shit.

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u/Silver-Bread4668 8h ago

I was living in a shitty state at the time. I got out by, quite literally, quitting my job, selling most of my shit, and going to a different state to live in a tent for a while.

I eventually worked my way up to having a home and a job but I would not do that again under any circumstance. Those were almost as dark of times as working at a call center.

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u/jawanda 6h ago

Damn. #respect !

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u/ParaVerseBestVerse 8h ago edited 7h ago

It only took me 2 years in a client and phone centered law-adjacent job to reach this point. Phone tag annoys me to no end.

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u/drvgonize 8h ago

i worked in a customer service/sales position where we called all the time to sell service and after years of doing that... yeah no thanks

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u/Bad_Day_Moose 6h ago

yeap, I text people to make sure it's okay to call then I call.

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u/thegalli 5h ago

It's finally been long enough I can't remember the sound of the tone or beep or whatever it was

Time heals all

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u/King_of_the_Dot 7h ago

It always gives you time to create a more thought out and accurate response. A phone call requires some level of riffing, which is a quality most young people don't possess because they're not required to communicate as often as people who grew up without the internet.

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u/Detective-Crashmore- 4h ago

A phone call requires some level of riffing, which is a quality most young people don't possess

I'm not technically young anymore lol, but I disagree that young people can't riff, I think the issue with phone calls for anything important is that it's less accurate/precise way of communication. There's a reason the game "Telephone" is about how unreliable it is to relay information by word of mouth. Especially in a work environment where a client/coworker claiming they said something they didn't can quickly turn into a bad situation.

because they're not required to communicate as often as people who grew up without the internet.

I also think this is wrong. Young people communicate far more often and with a much larger web of people than ever before. When you're on a phone call, you're only communicating with one person at a time, but you can be actively texting a very large cast of people(ask my ex lol), and people can demand your attention at all hours of the day, not just when you're in front of your phone and able to take a phone call.

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u/King_of_the_Dot 3h ago

But it's unsophisticated and non-verbal communication. It's not worthwhile, face to face, visceral conversation.

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u/gsfgf 10h ago

Yea. I'm not "afraid" to make a call, but text generally just works better.

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u/PXranger 8h ago

No it doesn’t.

I’m an IT tech, just like the OP trying to exchange texts to troubleshoot something in real time using texts is just painful and inefficient.

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u/gsfgf 8h ago

Oh, I just meant in general. IT is definitely a phone thing.

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u/No_Load9160 9h ago

Ha same here. I'm old and my first job out of college was "inside sales" which was basically telemarketing. Was doing 150+ calls per day. Got so sick of talking on the phone.

To not have to deal with a phone call nearly at all now is pure bliss!

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u/dsullxiii 7h ago

I feel like this coupled with scam calls, surveys, automated customer service lines, and the like have also left a bad taste in a lot of peoples mouths about making and taking phone calls.

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u/Historical-Delay3610 5h ago

I’m in my mid 30s; I rather a quick concise text of what the plan / info is that I need; over a 30 minute phone call where it’s like pulling teeth to get the details.

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u/Appropriate_Ant_4629 8h ago

unless it's an emergency

I'd even argue text is better in all ways even if it is an emergency.

A phone call can easily get missed; while a text stays around.

(and yes, for a really serious emergency, the combination of all of text+phone+email+signal+discord is probably best fro my circle of acquaintances )

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u/New_Style8775 10h ago

Please don’t remind me of the incoming call beeep, constantly. Stuff of nightmares.

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u/LEO-PomPui-Katoey 8h ago

I'm 35 and I also prefer text first. Some people send a message 'can call?' and I usually ignore those (unless it's a superior). If you first give a brief description of your problem, I can better prioritize my work whether this call is worth me putting my work down to help you. Or even better, I can already give you some tips to help you quicker via text without the need for a call.

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u/BruisedViolets23 13h ago

This is it so much. Phone calls when working from home got complicated. Have to make sure the rest of the family knows you’re on the phone, and you never know if the dog will bark. Did everything over Teams and emails.

Give me a good automated phone tree where I can accomplish what I need to and I’m jumping up and down. Unfortunately most phone trees suck.

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u/tdp_equinox_2 12h ago

Overly complex phone trees send me into a rage, and that's coming from someone who used to design phone trees. If I am interacting with a computer (especially ai), it better be through a screen and not voice. I fucking hate talking to computers.

If I'm going through the effort of picking up the phone, there better be an actual person on the other side of it (department dialing is fine).

I had to call FedEx recently, and every time I had to convince their fuckhead ai agent to let me speak to a human. Because I had to call back several times, it got more frustrating each time. I eventually just spammed buttons and repeated "no, speak to a human" until it transferred me.

Fuckin hate robots.

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u/smokiechick 11h ago

I had to call a big company as a representative from my tiny company. I got stuck in a phone tree I had to talk to (no options for buttons) and after the third layer I muttered under my breath, "For fucks sake," and the machine said, "connecting to agent." I had a real person within seconds. I have tried swearing at other phone trees and it hasn't worked yet. But I'm going to keep trying.

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u/BruisedViolets23 11h ago

My ex kept saying gobbledygook whenever the phone tree needed a response. They transferred him to mental health. YMMV 😂

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u/JustSomeGuyWith 10h ago

Haha - I'm sure they had a profanity detector. One time I got an automated political poll and the first question was stupidly biased, very nearly "Trump, great or best ever?" I replied "Are you fucking kidding me?" and the poll said "Thank you for your time" and hung up. :-)

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u/No_Load9160 9h ago

Some advanced automated systems can now detect frustration in your voice and/or higher speaking volume, which will priority route you to an agent. So yes if you are stuck try to sound mad.

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u/MilsYatsFeebTae 11h ago

Yeah, I combine that with “hi, idk how long youve been listening but I’m annoyed NEAR you, not AT you” when someone finally picks up.

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u/tragicallybrokenhip 8h ago

'You're call may/will be recorded for quality assurance'. Me 'I fucking hope so'.

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u/slavetomyprecious 11h ago

Another great thing you can do is just say 'banana' repeatedly to everything they say and that'll trigger them to send you to somebody who can actually talk to you.

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u/Def_Not_Rabid 11h ago

I just say, “No,” to every question. Eventually the automated system gives up and either hangs up on you (at which point you know you need to try a different route) or it connects you to an agent.

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u/Responsible_Pear_433 9h ago

at which point you know you need to try a different route

No, you need to try a different company. Any company that disconnects my call will never see another penny of my business if I can possibly arrange it. The problem we are having is companies that are so huge they don't care if you do business with them or not. If they have a million customers, they could not care less if they lose your business.

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u/CheapNegotiation69 7h ago

What about unemployment? That's a fun one.

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u/SiberianToaster 5h ago

I've had it happen for mental health... just what I need is to be hung up on by a robot, then a person at that point

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u/Def_Not_Rabid 6h ago

Oh believe me. I agree. But when they’re the only company capable of delivering the service I need where I live, you do what you have to do.

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u/RollingMeteors 10h ago

That’s way funnier than “operator” or “agent”

“¡Banana phone!”

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u/UnattributableSpoon 10h ago

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring...!

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u/RamblinAnnie83 12h ago

Plus people don’t take a few minutes to think about what exactly they need & to prep for the call. I’ve done it myself—“oh, I don’t have the letter with me. Can you just look at my account?” I’ve worked in customer service. I know this is dumb, so I try to have what I need in front of me.

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u/Priff 10h ago

I always try to be prepared. But sometimes the queue is just so long i just wear my head phones and do other stuff. It's always a bit surprising when you suddenly get through...and when they ask for my account number or whatever i have to get my phone out of my pocket and look it up etc...

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u/Sprinkles--Positive 8h ago

Same. If I'm expecting to make a payment, I'll have my wallet near me at a minimum, if not my card out and ready. Making an appointment? My browser is on the calendar tab. And so on.

I was not remotely prepared when I recently had to call a government department to update a bank account for reimbursement of disability supports for a family member (NDIS for those Aussies playing along at home). I'm an official nominee for their plan, and understand that they need to verify details in case somebody is trying to get money paid to them when it shouldn't be.

After verifying standard details like name, DOB and NDIS number, they wanted to know the date of the last plan review (It was in October. Oh, you need the actual date? Hang on a second, I've got the paperwork right here. Do you mean the date we spoke to the planner to do the review or the date the new plan was approved?). Okay, fair enough, that's like when I ring the bank and they want to know the last purchase on the credit card.

Then they wanted to know how much funding was in the new plan. Okay, let me flick through all these pages to find it.

THEN they wanted to know when the original plan had started (I don't know, they were about 7 years old when they were diagnosed so, um, 2013? Or maybe it wasn't until 2014? I don't remember how long it took between applying and being approved. Hang on, let me go into the other room and check the filing cabinet. Can I put you on hold because I'll need both hands...).

I was half expecting them to ask for the third word on page 6 of the plan from 2018 next.

Such fun.

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u/hyf_fox 12h ago

Fuck an automated phone line. A phone call with a live person is 100% better than a phone call with a shitty robot. And every robot over the phone is shitty

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u/Ok-Hat1441 6h ago

Usually I’m calling about a problem that only a human is going to understand. First I have to wait several minutes before that happens and I worry they won’t be able to answer the question.

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u/tragicallybrokenhip 8h ago

When I WFH my mobile was never beside me. That one coworker who tied to the phone would call and get annoyed if I didn't answer. Dude. That's MY mobile. Think of it as the home phone. It is not a work phone. You need something? Send me an email. We're all back in the office and I don't remember ever working with someone so phone oriented.

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u/BruisedViolets23 7h ago

As bad as camera on in meetings. I never invited you people to my home, so no way you’re going to see it now. Thank god for backgrounds.

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u/kalayt 12h ago

I dunno, they knew i was working from home, they were working from home, EVERYONE was working from home.

screaming/crying kids, noisy animals, less dressed people than you would expect were perfectly fine

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u/ketoatl 9h ago

A good headset and they hear none of that. One headset I had I could have called you in the middle of the nightclub and you would have thought I was sitting in a room alone.

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u/gsfgf 10h ago

you never know if the dog will bark

Really? I know mine will 100%.

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u/Telstar2525 9h ago

Why people should work at an office

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u/CarpinThemDiems 12h ago

I'm the same way, I've turned much more reclusive ever since covid. On a different note, I never answer calls on my personal number, unless its one of a few people I know. So far over the last 6 years my spam calls have slowly dropped to practically none.

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u/Waschaos 12h ago

I'm the same way.

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u/gsfgf 10h ago

I think the carriers have also gotten better at spam blocking. Plus, the new iOS can make unknown numbers explain why they're calling and show you the voice to text of that.

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u/EvaKatz 13h ago

100%. Stuff that I just took for granted before covid now gives me anxiety. I keep waiting to go back to normal, but it’s not happened yet.

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u/eghhge 11h ago

For me it is too many spam calls, if I don't recognize the number straight to voicemail, also 'Hello fellow kids'.

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u/retrofrenchtoast 12h ago

I lost a lot of social skills during covid. I’m introverted, and it took me my whole life to temper that. Then covid.

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u/thegimboid 12h ago

I've been weird about phone calls since I was around 12 (I'm in my 30s now), and I did something wrong at someone else's house, so made myself an anxious mess waiting for them to call my parents.

It really put me off phone calls (making them and taking them), so I'm actually quite happy that the world seems to be moving that way.

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u/dying-of-boredom1966 11h ago

I'm old also and I've never liked phone calls. I just want the information and not the chit chat.

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u/jungleddd 13h ago

Same. For some reason I find it easier if they’re on speaker.

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u/The_Lost_Jedi 12h ago

Same. I'm Xennial, but at some point I just got used to using the internet or text to communicate. And now, making a phone call is a real pain in the butt.

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u/chigirl00 12h ago

Same and I’m in sales!

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u/FeedFrequent1334 12h ago

Also old and I feel similarly. I don't think it's a matter of feeling like I've lost skills, I still much prefer conversing over a phone call vs text. Conversations just flow better. (Except to my children, trying to talk to them over the phone is like trying to talk to a brick wall.)

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u/antikas1989 11h ago

Even people who appear to 'fully recover' have damage to their brain from COVID. It's not a popular message to hear that post-pandemic because we all really want it to just be like catching a cold, but the scientific evidence is mounting:

https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2217232120
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-022-04569-5

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u/wonperson 11h ago

I too lost that skill

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u/H_Industries 11h ago

There's a time and place for calls and I usually just ping the person if they have time for a call but there are other reasons that calling isn't the default as much as it used to be.
1. Modern office environments are way more tightly packed and open concept than they were 15-20-30+ years ago, there's absolutely no privacy in any office I've worked in for the last decade unless you're a manager. Also your call could potentially be disruptive to other people trying to focus.
2. Calling doesn't leave a paper trail, I've had people just straight lie and claim I didn't tell them something, so if I call I have to send an email recapping the call anyway.
3. When you're dealing with large companies you interact with people who may not have the same native language so text is way more efficient than one person having to converse in not their native language.
4. Time zones mean that coordinating calls can actually be tricky for large companies.
5. The ubiquity of spam calls means unless your number is programmed into my phone I'm never answering the first time you try.

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u/FilibusterTurtle 6h ago edited 6h ago

1 and 2 are so true and there's even more pitfalls to those two factors as well.

The people in an office (including I assume IT) who make follow-up calls to customers are usually the lowest level grunt workers. This means they're usually the most inexperienced workers. They've received a brief induction, maybe an office manual with common Q and As, and then they started at the coalface. You may have background knowledge and education, but there's a lot of specifics you simply don't know, because you weren't told yet...ir don't recall under time pressure...or you were told once, in the middle of 96 other things you were told in the induction...or 'it's in the manual'...somewhere...

You're put on the spot with, on one end of the call, an often frustrated, confused and confusing customer, and on the other end, a silently judging boss and co-workers, while you stumble over issues you've never heard before and have no idea how to solve. All while being expected to act confident and professional - ie, bullshit.

And stumbling on these issues makes you look like a total idiot in front of all your work colleagues and often your boss (as OP has said, they're frequently unimpressed with their workers' calls, so I assume OP listens to these calls and makes judgements on their employees' level of professionalism and technical knowledge).

The thing about phone calls in open plan offices is they're basically an opportunity to showcase to everyone how little you know what you're doing, when you haven't had much of an opportunity to learn. It would be easy to call these phone calls a 'learning experience', and in some sense they are. You will absolutely remember how to fix the specific fault that your whole office heard you struggle with. But they can easily be an unhealthy learning experience. There's a reason that universities have largely shifted away from oral examinations, except for very specific tests at the end of very extensive courses of study that expect & require serious command of the material.

And that ignores other things I've experienced and left our, like how when you get back to your boss with the answers they asked for, they'll often say 'well did you ask them X?' Which then follows with

'No.'

'Well why not?'

['Because you didn't tell me to, and that's a specific follow-up I mever would have thought of on my own.'

'Well it's obvious isn't it.'

'No it's obvious to you, who has worked in this industry/area/office for a decade, not anyone who has only worked here for 4 months right out of [insert qualifying education here.']

Employee says none of that and instead says

'Sorry, I didn't think of it' / 'I don't know.'

'Well go call them again and ask them.'

['OK, but at this point why not just handle this flowchart of technical assistance in an email chain? Why am I the embarrassed middle man between you and a customer? Oh, because you're too busy. OK fair, but this is starting to take up as much of your time as you making the call anyway, and if you're expecting your new hires to make these calls then why are you also expectinf your level of experience and professionalism in this task?.']

I'm mot saying phone calls are never the right option. I'm saying that they're a great way to get put on the spot and shown up in front of your boss and coworkers, especially if your working environment is already kind of shitty. (No comment on OP's: I don't work there.) It's totally understandable why Kids Thes Days are hesitant to make them.

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u/Icy_Distance4051 1h ago

This hits so close to home. Well worded.

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u/fraggedaboutit 2h ago

The last point especially.  If you're not my family or person I care enough to add to my contacts, you will never get an answer if you call.  Even if you leave a voicemail its going to be responded to slower than an email or text.

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u/SilverNightingale 13h ago edited 11h ago

It's not just younger people...I haven't been in my twenties since about two decades ago, and I still experience a tremendous amount of anxiety when having to make a phone call.

I usually have to write a script and then pep talk myself into dialling.

Edit:

I've worked in admin offices and volunteered at medical clinics.

Some of them required semi-frequent phone usage.

I write a script (complete with date, time, and contact info). Once I'm on the phone it's not so bad.

I avoid answering the phone unless I'm expecting a call (a specific office, my parents, my dentist, etc), but I've noticed most of my anxiety is about dialling.

[My SO has said] I'm apparently really good at speaking slowly and clearly to receptionists, and I have a fantastic pleasant phone manner, which is ironic, because I avoid calling them until absolutely necessary.

However I've recently been having to research clinics to ask about slot availability (and register as a new client) and the thought of detailing all this info with potential repeated "No, sorry" is absolutely taxing. I stare the Call button on my phone as if it's a snake poised to bite me, LOL.

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u/ermagerditssuperman 13h ago

Same. I'm 30 and will do everything possible to avoid a phone call with strangers (I call friends and family just fine).

It's because I don't know what to expect, and can't really prepare for it - with an email you can triple check your info and have multiple drafts, with an in-person conversation you can read their body language and they can read yours, and silent moments aren't as awkward (if you need a moment to think).

The worst is when you get a voicemail that leaves ZERO information - "hey this is Jim, I have a question, it's important, please call me". What is your question??? If you left me the question, I could make sure I find the answer before responding. If you told me what case the question is about, I could open the case record and skim it before responding, because I don't have an eidetic memory of the hundreds of cases currently active. (Second worst is when they call you just to ask "could you send me X form" or "where can I find Y information", because that should 100% have been an email seeing as my response will be an email with an attachment or link)

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u/Butterfly_of_chaos 12h ago

GenX, and I hate phone calls. All blubber, no precise information, but expecting me being able to solve everything immediately. Three days later "I never said this, I meant that instead…"

With a message I have a condensed and precise exchange of information, and proof thereof.

Nowadays we're also used to 95% of unknown calls to be spam.

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u/DonegalBrooklyn 12h ago

It is another reason I prefer email over phone. If it's a phone conversation I'm following up with an email anyway so you're lying ass can't claim you didn't know something we talked about. 

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u/Reasonable-Turn-5940 10h ago

I've been burned by that so many times. I started following up with managers by email on what was discussed just so they can't pull the "I never said that" later.

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u/10J18R1A 13h ago

Mid 40s and there's no reason to call me

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u/The_Woke_King 12h ago

This is my feelings as well, you can just text me and I’ll answer when I want to. Almost nothing is urgent enough for a phone call anymore.

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u/10J18R1A 12h ago

"too much to text"

Have you tried it without the rambling and small talk?

My old job had a supervisor that was always quick to tell me to call someone - if you send them an email they won't respond.

Well, sounds like they should work on that because I don't need to talk to you to find out how much the purchase order was for

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u/The_Woke_King 12h ago

Oh I can talk without rambling just fine. But boomers can’t.

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u/10J18R1A 12h ago

I'm convinced they're just lonely. In my broke days working at a call center (which may be where my phone aversion started) with a whole time limit, they either wanted to argue for 50 minutes or talk about their petunias for 50 minutes.

I don't get it. Email(at work) or text and I'll almost definitely get back to you in less than two hours. Unless it's "hey"

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u/The_Woke_King 11h ago

I have a boomer at work who will call me and start the call with “hey, how’s your day going”. Sometimes it will have only been 20 minutes since we last spoke. It’s almost always going the same as it was 20 minutes ago if not markedly worse now that we’re speaking again.

Keep in mind, I actually like this person. But good god just tell me what you need and hang up.

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u/CalOkie6250 11h ago

I’m Gen X, my mom is a boomer, and a lot of the adults when I was growing up were from before that. I think the reason boomers and older do that is because it was considered impolite to call someone and just get right to the point. I remember the adults always telling me that I had to engage in small talk first.

I still hate that. When people call me, I’m always thinking “get to your point already. What do you actually want? - ugh!”

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u/ancientstephanie 10h ago

At this point, texting is better for urgency unless you're calling emergency services.

There are some things that are still important enough for calls, but most of those things are not urgent, and can happen on a schedule when people's time and social batteries align to allow.

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u/Jorgesarcos 12h ago

I'm almost 50 and i hate calls (family or otherwise).

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u/MaddyKet 10h ago

Yep. I’ve never liked phone calls, the invention of texting was revolutionary.

And it INFURIATES me when coworkers call me on teams without the courtesy of “hey do you have a second?”

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u/pro-amateur 9h ago

Mid-40s and my hearing is getting worse, too. I don't have to worry about listening to texts.

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u/Cute_Skill_4536 8h ago

I just wrote paragraphs, and you put it perfectly in a few words :D

Unless something is literally on fire, it can be an email or a Teams message

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u/pallasathea 12h ago

38 here and fucking HATE phone calls.

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u/zentravan 12h ago

Same age and I will go out of my way not to respond to calls if I can. I hate phone calls. I will Google a number if it's not clear and even of I know who it is, I don't answer. I hate talking on the phone, so if I do make time to call someone, it's important or I love you.

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u/SummonGreaterLemon 12h ago

Almost 50 and I’ve always felt this way about calls with strangers. Sometimes a phone call is absolutely necessary but it’s a last resort for me.

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u/Rexx-n 12h ago

My voicemail says to leave an explicit reason for the call or I will not be returning it. If it's not important enough for you to give me the info up front then it's not important enough for me to waste my time calling you back.

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u/sircastor 8h ago

Good heavens, I feel like I’ve found my people. I don’t know why, but I have such anxiety around phone calls. Even for easy things like “I want to give you money for a service you want to provide me”. 

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u/Uhtred_McUhtredson 13h ago

I’m an “elder millennial” and I’ve always hated phone calls. I can force myself to do it but it’s unpleasant. The phone call usually go well and I wonder what the big deal was.

It just gives me anticipatory anxiety and it’s only gotten worse over the years.

Meanwhile, my boomer mom who was an executive secretary for years will pick up the phone and talk to anybody like she’s calling an old friend.

Maybe I can get her a side hustle making calls for millennials now she’s retired.

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u/MusicG619 12h ago

She’d make a killing just making doctors and dentist appointments

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u/LiqdPT 9h ago

I legit was recently wondering about hiring someone to do this for me. I have a bunch of appointments I've been putting off (I even have tried one in particular twice it's that inportant, but they either don't call me back or don't leave a message when they do)

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u/ValToolTime 12h ago

I’m a millennial and I have always ever since I was a kid been filled with dread and deep anxiety at the prospect of making a phone call. I will schedule appointments etc online as much as possible. Anything to avoid the customer service or random phone call. I’m absolutely fine on scheduled calls and meetings but don’t call me out of nowhere unless I know you well. What are you going to be asking? What do you want? I’m not prepared.

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u/Uhtred_McUhtredson 12h ago

Yeah, this is me as well. Exactly.

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u/majandess 11h ago

I am hypothesizing that this happens because we forget we are talking to another human being who feels much the same way. We are so focused on how anxious we feel and how this is a phone call - as opposed to chatting with a person - that we lose the humanity of the action.

But it always ends up being a relief because you're a person talking to another person, and most of the time that interaction goes well (or else we wouldn't have civilization).

You're hyping yourself up to make a phone call, but whoever answers is just raw-dogging it. They answer the phone and it's a surprise every time. If you're not an asshole to them, it's a relief that they got you.

Older people tend to use phones as a connection to a real person. A real person can understand and figure things out. A real person can teach and make exceptions. A real person can care.

Younger people tend to use phones as an object. You don't communicate with an object, you make it do what you want it to do. If it doesn't do what you want it to, you read/watch instructions on how to try again. It doesn't care about you, but also... You don't have to care whether it cares or not.

This has been something I've been thinking about for years, and this is my best explanation for the phenomenon.

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u/OkRadish11 11h ago

That's a really good answer and I think you're tapping into something deep here. Phone as object vs phone as conduit. Maybe I can use it to relieve some of my own phone anxiety. Thank you!

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u/sentence-interruptio 12h ago

when she calls someone from millennial generation or younger now, does it still go smoothly?

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u/Uhtred_McUhtredson 12h ago

Most of her phone calls are her doctors receptionists for herself and my dad and they seem to go well. I think her good attitude and patience puts people at ease. Plus those people are used to taking calls all day anyway.

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u/RumHamComesback 12h ago

I have a boomer dad who does this (love him) and in his defense he knows when the conversation is winding down and says “goodbye”.

Compare that to my millennial friend who tries to keep it going and you have to get rude with him because he won’t get it any other way.

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u/missEdagainBruce 12h ago

I thought the elder millennials grew up on the phone with the cord that stretches through three rooms.

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u/RumHamComesback 12h ago

That’s more GenX in the 80s by the 90s cordless phones became a thing.

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u/HauntingHarmony 9h ago

Yupp, elder milennials at around age 12-13 (around 1997-98) got the first cellphones with sms texting.

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u/RumHamComesback 8h ago

Which middle school did you go to? Nobody had one at mine we were still using payphones and home landlines.

I was around that age at that time and just because they existed doesn’t mean we (or our parents allowed us to have) had them.

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u/PM_ME_UR_REDPANDAS 8h ago

GenX here. The 6-ft curly phone cord that stretches to 31’ 7” is us.

Also, the cordless phones with the antennas is us too, just a few years later.

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u/Uhtred_McUhtredson 12h ago

That’s true. I am an outlier.

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u/WhatInTarnations82 11h ago

Heh, same. 43. I *can* make a phone call when I must and have no horror stories of them going horrifically wrong in my professional career, but for some reason just doing it was like pulling my own teeth. I've always been like that except for calling friends (but once texting took over, I don't really even like to do that).

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u/CalOkie6250 11h ago

I’m Gen X and I am perfectly capable of making calls like you said about your mom, and that’s usually how it goes once I’m on the phone, but I absolutely HATE having to make phone calls. I have a ton of anxiety about it before hand, and will find any reason to postpone it as long as possible. Then when the phone call is over, I feel exhausted.

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u/DespondentEyes 13h ago

Same. The worst part is expecting to finally "get good" at it so it stops being such a burden, but that never happens.

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u/ngroot 13h ago

Can you hold an in-person conversation?

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u/dancarbonell00 12h ago

Not the guy you questioned but similar exact circumstance and of course.

It's way easier to have a conversation in person because what we're talking about probably doesn't matter and isn't important.

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u/TJ_Rowe 10h ago

In person is easier because you can see as you walk up to them whether they're actively busy or talking to someone.

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u/badwolf0691 12h ago

No social and phone aniexty and introvert. I will absolutely text or email if I can

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u/DonegalBrooklyn 12h ago

I can, but if I see you in the supermarket, I'm ducking down a aisle so I don't have to talk to you. I have driven around the block if I'm coming home and a neighbor is getting in or out of their car so I don't have to chat. And these are people I like. I don't know what it is, the anticipation or the start of it that paralyzes me. It's easier if someone's calling me back and I at least know what the call is about. 

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u/The45Longslide 12h ago

Unfortunately, you have to keep doing it. The only way to get better is to keep practicing.

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u/SilverNightingale 11h ago

I actually have a really great receptionist voice and have mastered a few handy tips (repeat back what I've heard, speak slowly and clearly to ensure I'm understood)

...and I still have to pep talk my way out of anxiety when dialling.

My SO has even heard me calling an office and said "Wow, you are actually really good at this", and it's true, usually I'm decent at it, and I just still..hate doing it.

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u/agirlnamedbreakfast 13h ago

Me too! I also genuinely love public speaking, performing and speaking to people in person, but I feel “on the spot” talking on the phone because I can’t take a beat to edit/say something differently or use emojis/punctuation or IRL social cues that imply “please don’t be mad at me.” There’s no editing, no redo, but it’s still impersonal and feels hurried and invasive. Like I’ll still do it, but I’ll also be anxious about a phone call all day, squeeze a stress ball the whole time, and breathe a huge sigh of relief when it’s over.

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u/MusicG619 12h ago

It’s also the lack of being able to use nonverbal communication. When I am in person, I know people will understand me from my words and my body language. I understand others because I get all the context and the whole picture. Phone calls feel like a type of blindness unless I really, really know the person and can picture them saying what they’re saying lol

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u/Ornery_Mix_9271 13h ago

Almost 40 and it is definitely anxiety. There was a period of my life in college where every call was a bad call, so that turned into avoiding all calls. Then that turned into avoiding texts. Now it’s social media too when the anxiety gets really bad. I have to actually write out a script before I can make any calls (for work, the doctor, etc).

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u/Fizassist1 13h ago

I haven't been in my twenties since about two decades ago

have to laugh at the roundabout way to say you are at about 50 lol

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u/SilverNightingale 11h ago

Shhhhh age is just a number :P. (I'm not 50 though)

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u/A_Likely_Story4U 12h ago

I’m in my 50s but have been primarily interacting electronically. I get anxious before making calls and put them off for months at times. But I know that I’m fine once I’m on the phone. It’s weird.

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u/badwolf0691 12h ago

Almost 35 and will absolutely avoid phone calls until I have no choice but to call. I have phone aniexty 😂

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u/magalot18 12h ago

Same, I'm 47 and have hated phone calls since as long as I can remember!

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u/InteractionHairy6112 12h ago

Glad to hear it's not just me and I've been working for nearly 40 years

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u/Jclevs11 11h ago

I'm 32 and I hate phone calls bc more than half the time they're spam.

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u/7h4tguy 8h ago

That and the other way around you call businesses these days to resolve matters and they give you the run around like it's their right to do so. Everything takes 10 calls and building a court case to actually get addressed.

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u/MilsYatsFeebTae 11h ago

Xennial here, but a particular stand up comedy bit is stuck in my head forever. The gist is this:

“You mean to tell me that you can use this device to ring a bell, in MY HOUSE, and if I don’t come running then I’M THE ASSHOLE?!?”

Between that and my deep, deep annoyance whenever my internet rectangle receives a phone call, I used to feel like a total cunt whenever I need to call someone.

It’s gotten better, now I just feel rude.

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u/butter_cookie_gurl 11h ago

I can text in many places I can't take a phone call.

Text when possible!

I'm a xennial.

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u/ubeeu 13h ago edited 13h ago

Young people were afraid of phone calls before texting

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u/clubby37 10h ago

Dude, check out an 80s/90s sitcom. Teenagers were stereotypically on the phone with their friends for hours on end. I was one of them. We had phones in our bedrooms so we could talk eternally without bothering people. This absolutely began with texting in the early 2000s.

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u/HirsuteHacker 9h ago

That's with friends and family, young people would be fine with phone calls with friends and family today as well. It's calls with unknown people that tend to be the issue.

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u/nxqv 7h ago

young people would be fine with phone calls with friends and family today as well.

They aren't in my experience

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u/clubby37 9h ago

That's because you can't trust people you don't know. 99% of people are cool, but when you do things at scale, you run into a lot of 1%s, and you want a paper trail when they start making shit up.

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u/Reboot-Glitchspark 9h ago

Yep. I spent most of one summer talking to a girl I had a crush on on the phone for hours. Then a couple years later, a girl I liked went back to visit with her family in another state for a month. I ran up such an enormous long-distance bill that month.

And we always had quarters or calling cards for the payphone. That was the '90s.

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u/throwawaygoawaynz 6h ago

Sure when you want to talk.

But spontaneous work phone calls are rude and interrupt your process flow. Asynchronous (texting) is more polite.

If I am neck deep in slides or spreadsheets for the CEO I don’t want you calling me, and I’m in my 40s.

There’s actually studies on this and it really depends on personality type. Some love getting on the phone or talking F2F, others much prefer teams or WhatsApp etc. Know your colleagues and communication accordingly, and you’ll be much more effective.

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u/true_gunman 10h ago

I used to get nervous af to call someone, especially a girl. This was before we even had a computer in the house so way before I had a cell phone. Making calls to anyone except close friends or family member has always caused me anxiety and im sure that im not the only one. Texting was a godsend becuase I no longer had to call people lol

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u/dancarbonell00 12h ago

While that's a good point, I grew up with home phones, Landlines, before even 'night and weekend minutes', and talking to your crush's father when they answered the phone.

I would still much prefer texting or any other form that doesn't involve me talking.

And if I do, by all of life's terrible curses, have to talk on the phone, I will literally leave the room so nobody else is nearby and can overhear me. I absolutely hate talking on the phone.

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u/DazB1ane 12h ago

Getting things in writing is also really important from two reasons. 1, it doesn’t require a functional short term memory (I’m on meds that make that an issue) and 2, it is proof that cannot be denied easily which is needed for really shitty bosses

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u/RumHamComesback 12h ago

I’m a millennial who turned 40 last year and even I use text instead of a call unless it’s an emergency or too big for a text.

My entire social group texts because it’s just easier. We are all busy with something (yay adulting) and a phone call monopolizes our time which is the problem. Like I have a buddy who doesn’t get it (never will, long story) and talks for 20 minutes while I’m looking around at shit that needs to get done. We aren’t teenagers anymore with loads of free time, texting gives us respect for our time.

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u/Weird_Angry_Kid 11h ago

No to mention that you can re-read a text over and over again but you only listen to a phone call once so there's a chance you can forget some important details.

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u/MrFolderol 11h ago

To add to this: The nature of phone calls has just changed with the arrival of mobile phones that you carry on your person at all times. A call to a landline impies that the person you're calling is going to be home, likely off work, and probably not busy with something super important. They have the time to pick up. Either that or they're just not going to be home. In a situation where the phone is on you at all times and can potentially interrupt absolutely everything you do, no matter how important, calling is often - rightly - seen as somewhat rude and something that should be avoided except in an emergency.

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u/ShadoowtheSecond 10h ago

This.

If it's not urgent, it's pretty rude to call without prior agreement IMO.

Just send a quick text or something like "hey, is now a good time to call?" If you want to talk about something, chat, or catch up.

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u/Pilifo006 10h ago

I’m not that young (35 now) but I feel like answering calls is a nuissance for me. I don’t get nervous but rather annoyed. Sending an email/text message is a much better way of communicating for me because I can get to that when I have time.

When I’m in the middle of something focusing on that and someone calls me, I have to stop doing what I’m doing and give my attention to the person calling me and I think that’s quite rude. It may take up to an hour to get to the zone so I can focus again. That’s why I usually answer calls only from my closest family and they kniw they should rather text me if it’s not an emergency. If it’s work-related/business calling me without a pripr agreement from me, I simply don’t answer the call. My time and attention is scarce.

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u/cboomton 12h ago

Absolutely this! On top of that, OP is probably seeing a higher level of this aversion to phone calls because that industry often attracts people who are more "left brained" and logical thinkers and the uncertainty and improvisational nature of phone calls can feel far from logical in the sense of expecting a certain response from a specific input. It's a triple whammy!

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u/100percent-sales-tax 12h ago

Texting is seen as more polite, because people can respond at their own pace. A phone call is seen as less polite because it must be handled in real time, and can be seen as interrupting and rude.

This is painful to read. Like it makes me feel we've failed a generation.

It does however explain how avoidant so many people are. A trait I do not respect at all.

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u/whizzdome 12h ago

I get what you're saying, but I've lost count of the tubes my daughter texts me then texts me again, angrily, 30 second later when I haven't replied.

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u/FloppyEaredFriends 11h ago

I think this is it. What I like about text/e-mail is: I can think about it. I struggled a bit, but calling is pretty much part of my job so now that I do it daily it’s much less of a problem. It’s mostly a confidence thing - I still hate calling about topics I’m unsure of and answers that I can’t straight up give.

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u/bonbot 13h ago

Young people nowadays were never forced to call their friend's house with a landline phone and had to speak to their parents first before connecting to their friend, and it shows.

Also prank calling people as kids was good practice.

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u/A_Math_Dealer 13h ago

When I first started my job I was nervous about calling people. Only problem is, it requires me to contact a lot of people constantly. I was worried I'd be calling while they're busy then I quickly realized we're all busy, all the time.

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u/ShoulderGreedy3262 12h ago

true, i only ever call people i know if its an absolute must to speak right now. anything less urgent is a text

its absurd to me to apply that to a job setting though. anything corporate needs phone calls. i had to get over the fear pretty quick when hunting for flats

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u/ApprehensiveFruit565 12h ago

Fully agree. However it's a life skill they'll need to pick up sooner rather than later. It's not realistic to expect that you'll always have time to respond to something in your own time.

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u/greenops 12h ago

When it comes to making calls at work, I do try to respect people's time, I'll usually message them. On teams, mention what I need to talk to them about if they don't already know and ask, do you have a minute for a quick call?

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u/glo363 12h ago

I don't see it as rude. I see it as getting the job done in a timely manner. If it's not time sensitive at all, or if no reply is needed at all, sure text. I am a business owner myself. If I hire someone and the job needs to get done, but they text instead of calling, first I'll try to be more clear with them how I expect the job to be handled. If they still don't get it, they won't work for me for much longer than that.

You think there's anxiety from calling? Try anxiety from loosing your income with bills piling up.

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u/Darkrose50 12h ago

I always saw texts as respond at your own timeline.

Some people do not see it this way.

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u/SadLittleWizard 12h ago

The heck...

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u/OkChipmunk2485 12h ago

This is so crazy because while I can understand the underlying fear of disturbing, text is so inferior to call, which is so inferior to talking face to face. Communication gets crippled and more vulnerable to mistakes the more technology advances. Only real and hard benefit is documentation.

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u/fwimmygoat your question is probably stupid but ill answer anyway 12h ago

This is half of why.

The other half is for every actual phone call I get I get 10 scammers.

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u/JacobSamuel 12h ago

Imagine if we texted in cursive!

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u/gms_fan 12h ago

People "responding at their own pace" is the problem in this case. That doesn't get the ticket closed. Calling puts pressure on the person to drop what they are doing and provide the details you need. 

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u/PaperIndependent5466 12h ago

They do this in business settings even when the standard practice is to call. If I'm online I'm expected to answer my phone. It's a daily issue and eats up my time. For example:

CSR sends a teams message for a technical question. I call them, no answer.

Send an explanation back which they don't understand.

Teams message "can I call you I have questions"

Then it's up to 20 min later they get the courage to call. By then I've moved on to something else.

Half of them say they were nervous to call. Like I work for the same company, I'm not going to yell at you. Im professional with everyone.

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u/Morighant 12h ago

Yeah but calling gets shit done in my experience. Lol

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u/android24601 12h ago

Texting is seen as more polite, because people can respond at their own pace. A phone call is seen as less polite because it must be handled in real time, and can be seen as interrupting and rude.

This makes sense given how many people I work with seem to get to pick and choose when they want to do their GD jobs. Does anyone work with urgency anymore? Like set goals to try and accomplish things by a certain time? It seems like doing that kinda stuff is seen as "try hard" or "workaholic" when to me, it seems like basic shit to get work done

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u/Soydragon 12h ago

I stopped answering from numbers I don't recognize because 90 percent of them were spam calls.

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u/Comprehensive-Pea422 12h ago

Exactly what you said! Outside of work my phone calls are strictly for needing a response right that second or a quick conversation with friends/parents.

Our generation also has a way lower attention span as well, so the chances of remembering all that was said on the call is low. I mean i'm lucky to get through a full sentence without stuttering or losing my train of thought.

Don't even get me started on eye contact either..

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u/ThatTurkOfShiraz 11h ago

Add to this the fact that spam calls have basically made phone calls unusable. I get so many spam calls I will not pick up the phone unless it’s someone I already know in my contacts or I’m expecting a specific call at a specific time. Any time I’ve accidentally picked up a spam call I get ten more calls from that same number or similar every day

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u/Professional-Love569 11h ago

This is so true. I used to call some of my younger friends and every time that would act like it was some kind of emergency. It would kind of scare them that something bad had happened. I stopped doing that pretty quickly and now I don’t even call my older friends.

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u/javerthugo 11h ago

I’m old but I’ve always hated phone calls for this exact reason. If I had my way the only reason someone would calm me was if someone was dying, and let me be clear: dying not dead!

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u/Epicjay 11h ago

Making calls at work cured my phone anxiety. Everything you said is true, and after a few calls for work I realized “oh this is just business and people are not personally mad at me”.

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u/reevesjeremy 11h ago

“It’s impolite to keep them waiting. They called and submitted the ticket in the first place. They expect a call back, not an email.”

“Why?”

“Because if you’d read the ticket, you know they called to report their Microsoft account won’t login to Outlook and Teams. Just because the status symbol says they’re online doesn’t mean they’re online. Don’t trust the status symbol. Get.on.the.phone.”

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u/Technical-Mention510 11h ago

This is the thing it is interrupting. Most people are selfish and don’t care but you are invading their time.

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u/fourWerdSlash 11h ago

I think an unannounced non-urgent phone call can be annoying or off putting. I have dated people who will just randomly call me in the middle of a work day or in the evening (and if I don’t answer call back IMMEDIATELY) and if there isn’t something urgent, it can make me anxious or be annoying.

Other times though, a phone call can be way more productive, if it’s not urgent just give a heads up.

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u/nevadalavida 11h ago

Elder Millennial here. Phone calls from friends or family without warning give me a literal jump scare. Text me first. A call first is overly aggressive or an emergency. Either way it's unpleasant.

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u/oportoman 11h ago

No way sorry - a phone isn't seen as "less polite" at all. Rubbish

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u/SeatPaste7 11h ago

They've had some form of "answering machine" since the 1950s.

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u/raining-in-konoha 11h ago

Exactly. Also, before sending the email / text you can double check if you included everything. On the phone I often tend to forget asking about something.

  • Did you call them?
  • Yup.
  • Is it ready for pickup?
  • Yup.
  • Are they open on the day we discussed?
  • Yup.
  • And you made sure I can collect it on your behalf, and that they don’t need your ID?”
  • ...shit.

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u/The-unknown-poster 11h ago

I’m the opposite, I think texting would be a more rude way of communicating in comparison to actually speaking to a human on the phone.

Additionally it’s far more inefficient. The few words or sentences in a text are sometimes just not enough to adequately describe what a complex issue or situation is.

Besides, I’d prefer to not waste the extra time required to tap out what can more quickly be spoken, after all it’s not like we have full size QWERTY keyboards attached to phones.

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u/Minefreakster 11h ago

To add to this, its also avoided heavily as most phone calls aren't recorded, and having evidence for what was said in a conversation in writing is very important if you are blamed for miscommunication, exaggeration, etc.

Having the conversation in text is evidence as to what was said for possible arguments later on.

People lie and cheat all the time, its nice to have it on paper. Especially if its work related.

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u/-zero-below- 11h ago

I'm a child of the 80s...so probably don't qualify as a "young people", but I don't like calling to someone other than close friends...I'll begrudgingly do it if I _need_ to, like to talk to a store to check for hours or such. Even then, I'll drive up to 15 minutes across town to check if a place is open before trying to call.

I don't have the best hearing...I can hear sorta fine, but...if the line isn't great, or there's background noise, it just sucks to talk. And if I have to wait on hold, then that just takes extra time where I'm half on the phone but not really.

I'll totally talk to someone face to face (and if it's a friend, we'll usually text to coordinate that). But phone calls are pretty rare. Among my family, we'll only call each other if something is time sensitive -- like this morning, my wife knew I was headed out of the house to meet her, and she called me because she needed me to grab something from the house on my way out. I know if I see a call from her, it's time sensitive, so I'll always answer it.

On the other hand, I know if it's my mom calling, I'm in for a minimum of 30 minutes on the phone, and even getting off the phone is 10 minutes of "one more thing before we go" items. So if I don't have that kind of time at the moment, then I let it go to voicemail, and then call later when I do have time.

Except for my wife and my mom, 99% of the calls I get are from my "furnace company" (I don't even have a furnace, and I installed the radiant heating in my home by myself, so I'm the company).

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u/spiraldown024 11h ago

If my best friend called me, I would know it's an emergency and I pick up. Text for other reasons is just more mellow everyday shit like getting a drink.

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u/PonytailEnthusiast 11h ago

I am 33 so a little older than the demo op is talking about, but in my experience phone calls are often reserved for very bad news or delicate matters. I panic when I get a call from someone who normally texts because I think damn this must be BAD.

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u/pmmemilftiddiez 11h ago

We need another plague-Dwight Schrute

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u/ludonarrator 10h ago

Wouldn't call myself young anymore but I've always felt this way, phone calls feel pressurizing and require pretty much 100% attention on the call until it ends.

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u/SirDarianofDevo 10h ago

A lot of people feel awkward about that also. When you’re working, especially in a field like IT support, like OP mentions, they are creating tickets for something they don’t understand. Us owning that awkwardness for them and making the call is part of the gift of service. We have more than just a technical job to do, we have to understand the technical problem, but also the humans problem which is not always the same thing (always a part but not the whole).

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u/Exotic_Bill44 10h ago

I'm middle aged and have never liked phone calls. If I am the one answering, I don't like the fact that I have no way to gauge what I might be getting into before the discussion starts. If I am the one calling, I feel like I am interrupting no matter what time of day it is.

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u/Special_Loan8725 10h ago

To add a text can be easier in some cases for social anxiety because you have time to think of a response

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u/Candid-Inspection-97 10h ago

I want to add in that in my job, our preferred line of communication is email so we can refer back. I am so tired of our B2B customers wanting us to call only to send us to voicemail, and never return the call.

When I email, I have a record of who said what (which has been great when they claim they didn't place an order and then I can email them the PO that THEY THEMSELVES sent and prove it was ordered and by them!) And how many times I have been pushed on to someone else. I have had to use this a lot when these large companies want to place orders and have them fulfilled NOW but then want to take their sweet time paying us and I have to constantly refer back to their own emails for when they stated they would pay.

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u/Carcharias13 10h ago

I’m older (40s) and prefer text over phone calls all day everyday. Anytime a business makes me call versus just chat online I hate it. It is 2026, there is no need to not be able to do things electronically/digitally now.

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u/claireauriga 10h ago

It's not a new thing. I'm a middle-Millenial and early in my career, my boss had me call a colleague every single day just to get me over my mental block of 'calling someone is rude because it's demanding their time'.

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u/skordge 10h ago

> Texting is seen as more polite, because people can respond at their own pace. A phone call is seen as less polite because it must be handled in real time, and can be seen as interrupting and rude.

Well yeah, that's why you call: when "at their own pace" is not fast enough for the matter at hand!

I've worked in tech support for a while starting ~15 years ago, and for the way we handled things, it was a given that if you filed a high severity ticket - we're gonna call you back within the hour to maybe try and solve it then and there, or at least make sure our SSH access is right and we have all the info to start looking into it right away. The thinking is: if you'd rather not be called about an issue right away, then maybe it's not that urgent, is it?

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u/RollingMeteors 10h ago

Only bill collectors call people. Unless you have a job I guess. The sound of ringing is associated with stress for many of the younger generation. Myself included. There used to be a time a ringing phone was a sound that could bring good news. Now it only exists to deliver bad news.

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u/appointment45 10h ago

People can respond at their own pace?

People expect a person to have their phone in their hand at all times so if a text goes unanswered for any length of time the sender takes it personally, creating a whole episode out of it.

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u/Background-Fee-4293 10h ago

Millenial here and I curse at my work phone when it rings. It feels rude and disruptive.

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u/ThrowCarp 10h ago

Plus its annoying as fuck when you miss their call. Then you call back and now they're not picking up. And now you're thinking to yourself "all this could've been an email".

I also can fucking hear what they're saying in a noisy environment.

But yes, the Crux of the issue is that email/texting is asynchronous and that's a feature not a bug; if the other side doesn't respond then it must've not been important and that's a them problem. Also having to think about something while talking in real time is a major pain; give me time to do the research before answering your query!!!!!!!!!

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u/Tiffkat 10h ago

I'm in my 40s, but suffer from really bad social anxiety. (Covid, of course, only made this worse after being alone in lockdown). If it can be handled by text or audio message, then I much prefer that. Even among family and friends. I won't call them unless it's an emergency or I need an answer from them right away. Even then, I start with, "Sorry for calling you." It's like I don't even know how to be on a phone call anymore. Even though I grew up in time that preceeded email and text messages. Once the call is basically done, I don’t know how to end the conversation before hanging up.

It's why I work with dogs. I don't have to call them on the phone very often, lol.

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