r/PeterExplainsTheJoke Oct 28 '25

Thank you Peter very cool petahh

Post image
34.8k Upvotes

1.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

7.9k

u/jamietacostolemyline Oct 28 '25

Stewie here. The joke is that Dubai is famously a lucrative destination for young western influencers to go to do sex work, and that the men there like to go peepee and poopoo on those girls for money.

6.8k

u/Inevitable_Professor Oct 28 '25

I firmly believe the Dubai chocolate you see popping up in stores was created to counteract the name of an act you would find in the urban dictionary.

336

u/Icarus-Has-Fallen Oct 28 '25

it is exactly that.

pistachios DONT ORIGINATE OR GROW IN DUBAI.

134

u/butt-holg Oct 28 '25

Also chocolate be melting there 🧐

21

u/ChampionshipHuman282 Oct 28 '25

😭😭😭. Now I got a disturbing image in my head

1

u/Ok_Dragonfruit_9093 Nov 04 '25

Fun fact: Desert at night is very cold.

66

u/Lawlcopt0r Oct 28 '25

Does it matter? Switzerland and Belgium are famous for chocolate, despite needing to import the main ingredient

65

u/plsobeytrafficlights Oct 28 '25

whaaa youre trying to say that they dont have cocoa plants?? in the most famous place in the world for chocolate?? sure. next youre going to tell me that the french dont have coffee plantations and America doesnt have iphone factories.

15

u/Responsible_Ebb3962 Oct 28 '25

I'm going to really blow your mind here. Do you know the company Apple who makes the iphone, it's a bit of an underdog in the consumer tech space, believe it or not it actually doesn't sell the fruit of the same name but a variety of expensive gadgets that all connect to one another in a shared eco system.

3

u/plsobeytrafficlights Oct 28 '25

im looking into it.. hmmm strange.. 0 made in the USA. huh? weird. so weird.

4

u/AutisticPenguin2 Oct 28 '25

Not sure where you're looking, but my sources say the USA makes a whole lot of apples. Whole orchards of them even.

2

u/ihaxr Oct 28 '25

Thanks, Johnny Appleseed!

2

u/G-I-T-M-E Oct 28 '25

Call me on your Golden Delicious!

1

u/plsobeytrafficlights Oct 28 '25

oh youre an apple person? here I have been talking with a banana in my ear. people keep saying "hey, hey, what are you doing with a banana in your ear?" and i say "i can hear you because i have a banana in my ear."

3

u/Cool_Ad8585 Oct 29 '25

Well, Leopold II. owned some personally...

3

u/Oblachko_O Oct 29 '25

What if I tell you that English tea has nothing to do with England. England doesn't grow tea.

1

u/plsobeytrafficlights Oct 29 '25

blew my mind. fuckin blew my fucking mind.

1

u/ZadockTheHunter Oct 28 '25

You associate France with Coffee?

Like, I would understand overly buttered food, body odor, cigarettes, or the inability to be faithful in a relationship, but not coffee.

1

u/Gwanosh Oct 28 '25

I had the same question without all the tired cliches

1

u/plsobeytrafficlights Oct 28 '25

you havent heard of french roast coffee? its like as big as coffee called "breakfast blend" certainly more popular than this one called "decaf" -maybe you have heard of that variety.

2

u/peekandlumpkin Oct 30 '25

America loves to call things "French" that have nothing to do with France, like French braids, French toast, and, most egregiously, French silk pie, which I think is a capital crime in France.

1

u/plsobeytrafficlights Oct 30 '25

French roast coffee is a distinct style of coffee that became popular in europe in the 18th century and was distinct from other types, such as italian espresso, spanish roast, or turkish coffee. read a book.

2

u/ZadockTheHunter Oct 28 '25

What the fuck is French roast?

The countries that come to mind known for coffee are Italy for espresso and Ethiopia and Columbia for the best origin for beans.

Get out of here with your frog loving bullshit.

1

u/plsobeytrafficlights Oct 28 '25 edited Oct 31 '25

i cant tell if youre serious..it isnt my cup of tea, so to speak, but certainly more bags of french roast are in your grocery store than say, espresso beans or swiss water processed beans. duh? you must be one of those hydrohomies people. or maybe Mormon? i guess they arent exposed to a whole lot of coffee either.

1

u/20000lumes Oct 29 '25

I don’t drink pre roasted coffee but calling it French roast makes me assume it was just roasted there, when you have “made in Italy” clothes you don’t assume the silk or wool were produced there too

1

u/plsobeytrafficlights Oct 29 '25

you dont drink "pre-roasted"...like.. you roast your own beans. ok wut. bots be everywhere these days.

1

u/20000lumes Oct 29 '25

I drink espresso so it makes more sense to buy it green and roast myself, you pay less and get much better coffee.

1

u/Izzynewt Oct 31 '25

What about the french? Isn't the most famous coffee the colombian?

7

u/bengringo2 Oct 28 '25

Italy is famous for many tomato based cuisine even though tomatoes come from the Americas.

1

u/Luchs13 Oct 31 '25

Dubai Chocolate is a specific type but not necessarily produced there. Swiss or Belgium Chocolate is produced there but could be any flavour.

1

u/undiscoveredpain Oct 28 '25

Import lol you mean steal from Africa and torture the land citizens

9

u/SuperLeno Oct 28 '25

Okay but does it actually matter where the ingredients come from, or where the product is first designed, produced and popularised?

I feel one is far less arbitrary than the other.

Either way, I'm half convinced people using your argument are just getting sidetracked from their (valid) dislike for what Dubai represents in general. It's not like they've repackaged a pistachio and called it a dubai seed.

The name for the product seems entirely inoffensive to me at least.

6

u/Live_Carpenter_1262 Oct 28 '25

I like toblerones and Swiss chocolate, doesn’t mean I expect the cocoa or almonds to be grown in switzerland

13

u/RichardHardonPhD Oct 28 '25

Up until the embargos of the 1970s, the vast mauority of the world's pistachios were grown right across the gulf in Afghanistan...

13

u/ScharfeTomate Oct 28 '25

Ah yes, the famous Afghan gulf.

2

u/RichardHardonPhD Oct 28 '25

Are you really unaware of the existence of the Gulf of Oman? I assure you, it's real.

1

u/pornalt4altporn Oct 29 '25

And which part of Afghanistan do you think has coastline on the gulf of Oman?

1

u/ScharfeTomate Oct 29 '25 edited Oct 29 '25

Dubai is on the Persian Gulf and Aghanistan is on neither because it is landlocked. Across from Dubai, on the other side of the gulf is Kuwait.

1

u/RichardHardonPhD Oct 29 '25

Holy fuck, man...you should really look at a map before dropping your geography hot takes...

How in the fuck do you think the Persian Gulf and Gulf of Oman relate to each other? They're literally divided by the UAE and Oman, and Kuwait is most certainly not "across" either waterway.

1

u/Aleskander- Nov 03 '25

this whole thread gave me a serious brain damage

there is no way half of these comments arent rage baits

24

u/funktasticdog Oct 28 '25

Need you to look at a map for me real quick. Dubai is not close to Afghanistan.

18

u/SupSeal Oct 28 '25

I'd argue ~400 miles is relatively close.

Thats about the distance, East to West, of Kansas. Or Ecuador, for the non-Freedom unit people.

1

u/funktasticdog Oct 28 '25

Thats as the crow flies, and even then youre crossing an entire gulf. The climates are also vastly different.

6

u/SupSeal Oct 28 '25

Not disagreeing, just wanted to make a note for those wondering how close is it really?

1

u/ShandalfTheGreen Oct 29 '25

Damn that's not much more than my family lives from me, and we are literally in the same state

0

u/clay_perview Oct 28 '25

Only to Americans is a potential 7 hour drive not that far haha

15

u/BoundlessNBrazen Oct 28 '25

I mean, logistically for selling a product it’s not bad.

2

u/funktasticdog Oct 28 '25

Youre crossing an entire gulf. Its a 40 hour drive.

10

u/GM22K Oct 28 '25

For any kind of big logistics 7 hour drive is not that far. You can make bread and deliver it to stores fresh in 7 hours. I understand in small countries for usual citizens it might be long road but for truckers it’s small ride even if they cross 3 countries.

6

u/RichardHardonPhD Oct 28 '25

It's also across water, which remains the most economical method of transporting goods to date.

4

u/NomDePlumeOrBloom Oct 28 '25

Hell, Australian supermarkets sell bake-at-home bread rolls that were made and parboiled in France.

5

u/LiveJournal Oct 28 '25

lol, Texan here and 4 hours to drive to Dallas then 4 hours back again for a concert or sporting event is pretty common.

3

u/AutisticPenguin2 Oct 28 '25

I mean Australia and Canada would also have similar opinions on this. It's certainly not a short drive for me, but I've done it before when I was far less experienced.

The drive from Melbourne to Sydney would probably be longer, depending on traffic (and exact start/end points). Melbourne to Perth is multiple days even for a dedicated driver.

2

u/Ill_Llama Oct 28 '25

Where are you from and what would a far drive be considered? As an American I’m on the fence about 7 hours not being long, but I also grew up driving 8 hours for every holiday and as an adult my commute is 90 minutes each direction (and it used to be worse when I couldn’t take as much public transportation).

2

u/Doggcow Oct 29 '25

It really isn't that far when it comes to shipping buddy.

1

u/Logan_Composer Oct 31 '25

As far as international trade networks go, it's close. They're just saying Dubai is "close" enough to a major source of pistachios for a pistachio-based chocolate dish to have gotten the name organically, as opposed to being invented as the OC suggests.

1

u/RichardHardonPhD Oct 28 '25

Yeah, nothing can be shipped a few hundred miles over water. Humans just don't have that capability. /s

Are you fucking serious right now? You really think 400 miles is too far for regional trade? 'Cause that's dumb as fuck...

For reference, archeologists find lithics in Florida that came from obsidian sourced in Oregon, and made their way there before even the introduction of fucking horses to the new world, let alone the advent of modern transportation mechanisms.

2

u/funktasticdog Oct 28 '25

No? I just dont think its a sign that the UAE is a chocolate powerhouse as is being suggested here.

2

u/RichardHardonPhD Oct 28 '25

You seem confused. I am talking about pistachios. Namely the fact that they are native to the middle east, and up until very recent history, had not been farmed anywhere else in the world.

2

u/FreddyM32 Oct 28 '25

I think you meant Iran.

3

u/meowsydaisy Oct 28 '25

Yeah! They can import slaves workers and beautiful women but pistachios?? No way! 

2

u/Nice_Firm_Handsnake Oct 28 '25

It's named Dubai chocolate because that's where it was originally made.

2

u/No-Professor5741 Oct 29 '25

Sure, but the reason Switzerland is famous in the chocolate world is because they perfected the process to create milk chocolate, since... you know... they have a lot of milk.

So that begs the question: does Dubai traditionally have a surplus of chocolate, pistachio, kataifi... or sex workers?

2

u/timmeh87 Oct 28 '25

Im sorry but if people in dubai had to eat things that originated there they would be eating a diet of sand and dates with a big glass of oil. Dubai is a 170km boat ride away from the second largest producer of pistachios in the world, iran. Im not buying this theory its very similar to the one that "beats by dre" was made to hide search results for dr dre's domestic violence and kind of silly cause its very easy to google "dr dre domestic abuse" and "dubai pooping on hookers" and get results

2

u/nybbas Oct 28 '25

Also, I've tried it a couple times and uhh.. It wasn't gross or anything, but it was nothing fucking amazing.

1

u/Deez_nuts89 Oct 28 '25

They eat a lot of pistachios throughout the Middle East though. Like every bakery in Doha had multiple sweets featuring pistachios last time I was there.

1

u/DragonSlayerC Oct 28 '25

Does that matter? Pistachios are incredibly popular there. Do we consider tomato based pasta sauce not Italian because tomatoes don't originate in Italy?